How many instances have you been told to 'man up'? And what's your personal experience with it?

EmirikolWoker · 2022-12-03T11:00:18+00:00

Seems like there's a post here every week or so that is all the lines of "y'all are losers bitching and whining, you should stop".

Men showing vulnerability is treated with contempt and disgust by a significant number of people. Especially anti MRM people.

silly_birb_Banned · 2022-12-03T13:45:25+00:00

They don't tell you to man up

Every boy in elementary school understands that if they cry or show they are suffering they would get publicly humiliated and not helped anyway.

Mechamiclas · 2022-12-03T20:09:08+00:00

The only person in my life who really changed her tune about the phrase "man up" is my mom.

To make a long story short; I broke down crying one day after a fight with some bullies in high school. My Mom use to tell me to "be a man/man up" until she realized I had been hiding the fact that I was being bullied for years because of such stoic conditioning. (My teachers didn't care or wrongly assumed I was the problem).

My mother's genuine kindness & guidance is what motivated me to get through senior year and eventually get a car & proper job.

I even overheard my Mom chatting with my aunt a few years ago saying "Maybe boys aren't easier to raise. Maybe we just haven't been paying them enough attention?"

Hard times, hard discipline & telling guys to "man up!" doesn't always make strong men. Love, understanding and encouragement does.

arrouk · 2022-12-03T12:24:00+00:00

There are 2 versions of man up.

The first very apt use, when you know something is gonna hurt, but things will be better after, pulling a splinter or having an uncomfortable conversation.

The 2nd toxic type of just getting a guy to swallow his feelings.

The first kind many times between me and friends.

The 2nd kind, twice, and neither of those people were welcome in my life after they said it.

Inside-Common-8301 · 2022-12-03T15:12:24+00:00

Numerous times, I’ve had people tell my ailments are nonexistent and not even true. One real huge problem… I have migraines, sciatica, plantar fasciitis, fibromyalgia and was put on a diuretic as I had fluid retention in my kidneys, liver and bladder.

Confident_Notice975 · 2022-12-03T20:09:33+00:00

I got my life and career fucked up 3 years ago bc an ex cooked up some date rape shit about me, then months later I got framed for it, then months after that, she decided oopsie maybe not...

For THREE YEARS now I have been told by every therapist and doctor that I go to that I am somehow "schizophrenic" just because I am frustrated about the fact that all I did was make sure she was OK when she freaked out on me, and instead of them saying "hey thank you for getting her a water and helping her calm down, sorry we believed her over you" .. I was somehow told I was the unprofessional one and booted out of medical school.

My own dad (also a doctor) STILL literally pulls the same shit on me where he fucking lies about situation, then if I don't have a video, he will say I'm just imagining things and schizophrenic... until I have a video... and he gets grumpy

hawkeyepitts · 2022-12-03T22:28:12+00:00

I put on PPE before handling something extremely volatile and dangerous at work, got told to man up.

Like if you don’t mind dying today of a 100% preventable exposure, good for you bro. But I’m not risking my health and life when I can take literally 7 seconds to out on this pair of gloves.

el_jefe1978 · 2022-12-05T13:29:00+00:00

I've lost count on the number of times I was told that. Now I believe "man up=shut up".

Qantourisc · 2022-12-03T14:21:58+00:00

With some people, when:
- My feelings/issues are a burden/inconvenience/nuisance to them.
- My desires/wants/needs are incompatible with theirs.

It feels very invalidating, and reduces me to my gender.

I am actually also considering dropping everyone who would resort to this line of thinking.

Basketballjuice · 2022-12-03T17:39:56+00:00

It hasn't happened in a while, but its frequency in my youth is the cause of most of my childhood trauma.

0R0V0H0 · 2022-12-03T19:54:16+00:00

It grosses me out every time. Even when I hear people say it to other dudes or themselves. That’s just not supportive - it’s like a threat. “Stop having those feelings right now, or your weener isn’t good enough!” It’s just weird. You can remind someone of their strength without attaching all these complexes about their manhood to it.

WingsofSky · 2022-12-03T21:13:33+00:00

This reminds me of a visit to a doctor I had in high school.

Went to the throat doctor. Whatever type that is. He said "the back of my throat looked like raw meat". I was kind of reluctant to get my adenoids or what not removed. So I was thinking about it. He had my mom leave the room. "Then started calling me names" "Saying to man up".

I didn't get surgery at that time(it wasn't adenoids problem). Didn't have to have surgey apparently for that. Years later I have asked doctors if my tonsils or what not is bad. Nope. time and time again.

Not sure if he was trying to make some money off a surgery or what. Definitely some hinky crap going on with him.

AgeOfReasonEnds31120 · 2022-12-04T02:17:09+00:00

SJWs would say that's "toxic masculinity".

People who tell others to "man up" aren't being particularly "masculine"; they're just being assholes.

Hell, some people who do that are women who think they can't be strong or stoic because they have a vagina instead of a penis.

NeoVidia · 2022-12-04T09:03:16+00:00

Its never as direct as “man up”. But try doing anything as a man and you’ll be met with an infinite amount of reasons why its ok to ignore men, have double standards against men, screw over men, and its the fault of men.

Title	How many instances have you been told to 'man up'? And what's your personal experience with it?
Author	Great-Gap1030
Upvotes	68
Comments	40
Date	December 3, 2022 10:36 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zbdftl/how_many_instances_have_you_been_told_to_man_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-many-instances-have-you-been-told-to-man-up.1143109 https://theredarchive.com/post/1143109