I just want control over my reproduction, why is this so hard?

MR_Recursive_Ion · 2012-12-26T17:53:49+00:00

Check out /r/childfree $3500 is vary high I payed $700 and only pain meds were covered.

the_killer666 · 2012-12-27T02:24:34+00:00

Putting sex on the same level as food is ludicrous hyperbole

fire_breathing_bear · 2012-12-26T21:16:06+00:00

Go to planned parenthood. In 2000, when I was looking to get a vasectomy, I consulted PP and a urologist. PP said they'd do it w/o hesitation, and charge me on a sliding scale (they quoted me $350).

My urologist refused to do it due to my age, I was 26 at the time. I told him if he didn't do it, I'd just go to PP - but I'd rather have it covered by my HMO.

He agreed to do it and it only cost me a $10 copay - which my mother reimbursed me as a sort of joke.

neilmcc · 2012-12-26T19:47:14+00:00

First date: 'I only do anal.'

VZPurp · 2012-12-26T18:37:50+00:00

RISUG: New reversible male contraceptive in phase III trials.

LuckyAmeliza · 2012-12-26T22:44:01+00:00

as weird as it might sound, men can go to, and utilize planned parenthood just like women do. I'd give them a look. (unless you live in Texas like me where they are trying to get rid of it because of stupid anti-abortion shit. which is fucking retarded.)

Coinin · 2012-12-26T19:08:36+00:00

It's not unreasonable at all for you to want those options, but thems the breaks. You only real options are:

-Abstainance from PIV sex, but not sex in general. There's plenty of ways to have fun that don't involve your penis being inside a woman's vagina.

-Use condoms you carry and put on yourself. Not 100% safe, but pretty close.

-Join a monestry

2012-12-27T01:36:10+00:00

Planned Parenthood offers vasectomies ranging in price on a sliding scale based on your income. ($350-1,000) http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-center/findCenter.asp There is the link for all the planned parenthoods in Mass. that offer the procedures. Good Luck.

elebrin · 2012-12-27T02:39:18+00:00

I just stay away from women. I am nearly 30 and haven't really felt a need to be in a relationship or have lots of sex. I don't really agree that sex is a necessity.

HoundDogs · 2012-12-26T20:55:03+00:00

Yes a vasectomy is a god option if you don't want kids. $3500 is a lot cheaper than kids, and that is one of the more expensive vasectomies I have heard of.

On a side note, just being honest, your post reads like it was written by someone with serious trust issues. Take from that what you will.

tyciol · 2012-12-27T00:06:33+00:00

I think having sex is a human need.

Need is relative. Needs can only exist if they are absolute requirements to produce something.

Prior to artificial insemination, we could've called sex a human need for the purpose of reproduction, for example.

What else do you think sex is required to produce though? Sex can feel good and produce endorphins and all that, but so can other things. So if we were to call things essential it would be 'things that produce endorphins' or other broad categories (of which sex would be classed under) as opposed to sex being a specific need that can't be substituted with other things.

I stipulate that there is no such thing as a 'human need' in a void, that all needs have contexts. Even things like food, air, shelter, we can explain how they are requirements for sustaining an individual's life.

We do know that people can survive without sex, so it certainly isn't a living requirement. Though it can play a role (like other things) in maintaining mental and physical wellbeing.

What is the context of what you call a human need? What can sex do that other things can not? If non-sex alternatives exist, we should not call sex a need, but rather, call whatever category includes sex AND alternatives, as the need.

having it (consentually) is a huge portion of happiness (we're evolutionarily programmed to want sex, it's not a far throw to assume men might need it to avoid depression).

Sex can help avoid depression, but I think it is a far throw to assume it's a 'need' because people can be undepressed without sex, just as people can have sex and still be depressed. Mental health is too complex to label any single activity a 'need' to sustain it.

theAnalepticAlzabo · 2012-12-26T21:29:00+00:00

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2012-12-27T02:07:10+00:00

"I just want control of my reproduction..." Sorry dude, it's there for one very specific reason. Don't fuck if you don't want kids, it's as easy as that and it always has been. I know it's hard (lol), I've made mistakes and done it, too. I'm just saying, you can't complain about getting taken to the cleaners if you are essentially MATING with these women.

Die-Nacht · 2012-12-27T06:10:37+00:00

Holy shit dude, you worry a lot about this. Meanwhile my GF and I are having unprotected Sex 3 or more times a week (we hate condoms. Doesn't feel as good for me and she hates the feel of it). She is on the pill and we have been doing this for 5 years and still no kids.

How about you just get a GF? That way you can trust her with pills and have secure Sex. Maybe even love her (hopefully).

evilbrent · 2012-12-27T06:23:57+00:00

Mine was bulk billed. Get it done in the western suburbs of Melbourne, Australia and there's a men's health govt initiative that covers it.

Aside from that: calm down. It's unlikely that you'll have a problem. Be honest about your expectations. Only sleep with people you respect, which ought to go without saying. Don't fuck people randomly that you meet in bars.

Babinian · 2012-12-27T13:10:54+00:00

Just take a brick in each hand...and boom.

VoodooIdol · 2012-12-27T19:48:31+00:00

You can afford a $3500 vasectomy more than you can afford a child.

joetheyfit · 2012-12-26T22:48:01+00:00

sex isn't a "right", it's nature's way of making more of us.

Pecanpig · 2012-12-26T20:07:57+00:00

First of all, I think having sex is a human need. I'm not sure if they include psychological well being as a human rights issue, but I guess torture and solitary confinement can be considered depriving one of basic rights. I think having sex is a human need, and pursuing it and having it (consentually) is a huge portion of happiness (we're evolutionarily programmed to want sex, it's not a far throw to assume men might need it to avoid depression).

Well this is certainly refreshing.

What's worst about those estimates is that it's a 5 minute procedure which is hardly more complicated than removing a mole. They are simply removing the incentive, and they are doing it damned will on purpose.

Here in Canada a vasectomy is around 500$ (still absurd considering it costs NOTHING!).

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-12-26T20:01:12+00:00

Yay, NHS.

AgentmrmOrangemra · 2012-12-26T23:21:12+00:00

I'm just trying to figure out why I have literally zero options aside from abstinence, and why men are expected to choose abstinence like it's actual freedom.

"You have freedom! If you don't like this food, you can always just not eat!"

Fucking bullshit. The human body requires food to survive. Your dick does not require pussy......nor is your "freedom" attached in any way to whether or not you get to fuck. Start saving money and remain abstinent until you get the procedure if you are too worried about using any other form of birth control.

Iihemc · 2012-12-26T21:57:13+00:00

My vasectomy was free in WA from Planned Parenthood in '06. If you mention banking sperm during the pre-interviews, they might deny you the surgery. They want you to know it's supposed to be permanent sterilization. If you express interest in future kids, they'll assume you aren't ready.

I'd look into PP in various states in your area. Legally, you have to be 21 but the doc that snipped me said he personally won't do anyone under 25.

tyciol · 2012-12-26T20:37:47+00:00

Women who don't want children are not told to "just have a hysterectomy". Bear in mind however that birth control pills do have their down side for women, and they probably also will for men. I love life and I'm happy to be alive, so I don't mean to sound ungrateful when I say that Mother Nature is a bitch in heat. She doesn't care if we are happy. She just wants us to carry on the species and she will make us pay one way or the other if we don't.

TheTwisted509 · 2012-12-26T19:58:15+00:00

I''m with ya buddy. I don't want kids either, to the point that I won't even date a woman with kids.

I agree with you that it's bullshit that men are swindled out of exorbitant amounts of money in order to prevent the passing of their DNA, yet Birth Control pills for women are handed out like candy on halloween.

AncientAviator · 2012-12-27T08:29:04+00:00

"boohoo i wanna fuck and i don't want children and i don't want to pay doctors money"

Your entitlement level is approaching feminist level.

2012-12-27T00:21:40+00:00

Uh, here in the UK, telling someone you are protected when you're not is counted as rape, I think... Edit: if you make it clear that you ONLY WANT TO HAVE SEX IF IT IS PROTECTED and she knows it is not, I'd say that counts.

sopernova23 · 2012-12-27T00:39:50+00:00

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Clauderoughly · 2012-12-27T05:04:01+00:00

Take a trip up to Canada, and get it done here.

corrodesnudo · 2012-12-28T05:33:25+00:00

I heard there was a process once where you basically semenate into a jar (At a lab), they put the jar into a vat with other jars from different people (marked respectively, of course), and keep the vat and jars at the normal temperature to where the sperm stay alive. Then you just get your balls removed, and voila. Have all the sex you want, when you have found your mate just have her inseminated at the lab with your semen.

Justchillun · 2013-01-20T08:02:03+00:00

So, what you are telling me is that you want to play with fire and not get burned? Consequences sir, consequences. Yes I agree it is your right as a free human being to have as much Consensual sex that you can get you dick on. However, that does not mean a life without consequences. Such a life view is childish. Really your whole post is childish. There is no commitment in your life, no perseverance. Just want and complaint when life does not go your way. You have no Character.

2012-12-28T10:08:53+00:00

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SilencingNarrative · 2012-12-26T19:31:16+00:00

Excellent observations, write-up, and question.

It's hard because civilisation was built on keeping men boxed into the disposable provider role, and constraining their sexual expression has been one of the main tools used to do that. Every society that has lasted into modern times figured out a way to keep men from being viewed sympathetically so they could be sacrificed in large numbers as the need arose; the ones that didn't figure this out were overrun by those that did.

So don't be suprised when your (spot on) observations are met with total apathy from men and women both.

rightsbot · 2012-12-26T17:30:18+00:00

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McFeely_Smackup · 2012-12-26T21:51:51+00:00

I paid $350 for my vasectomy out of pocket, my health insurance covered none of it. Womens birth control pills..covered.

Make of that what you will, but $3500 and $125 for the consult sounds like someone has never actually called anyone about this.

Why are you making excuses to not get a vasectomy if you actually want one? Make an appointment with a urologist who specializes in vasectomies and go do it. It's literally THAT easy.

If you don't...then you're just plain not serious about it.

luxury_banana · 2012-12-26T23:11:00+00:00

They are working on a male birth control pill. Soon.

2012-12-26T23:19:30+00:00

Boston? Planned Parenthood or similar sliding scale clinics. Also it could be worth the trip to NYC or another major city to find the services.

NWOslave · 2012-12-26T22:53:41+00:00

Look at the flip side which is far worse. Say you want a child and your girlfriend/wife gets pregnant. Then out of the blue she decides it's too much of a hastle. The axe falls and she gets an abortion. Stick your unborn child in a snowglobe and every year you can celebrate happy deathday.

tyciol · 2012-12-26T23:25:18+00:00

Watch out for "American fem- Spermtrappers" who will take a used condom of yours into the bathroom to impregnate herself. She can always say...whoops, the condom must have broke, and you believe her, and she's got a good provider on the hook for 18 years.

Kirkayak · 2012-12-27T04:55:27+00:00

It's sort of like "bitchdom-supreme", when a female does NOT want her mate to have an additional, inexpensive option in terms of reproductive control (like RISUG).

Sir_Derpsworth · 2012-12-27T04:57:07+00:00

This probably won't get much notice, but if people are worried about 'sperm-jacking' a friend of mine gave me some damn good advice a few years ago:

"Always carry hot sauce with you whenever you go somewhere for sexy times."

When I asked why, he explained that when you take the condom off, pour a couple drops of the hotsauce in the condom and mix it up a bit before throwing it in the trash. That way you know if she tries anything, and she learns a valuable lesson about trying to trick men into being parents.

It's a terrible trick imo, but so is trying to trap a man into 18+ years of child support.

Kirkayak · 2012-12-27T05:01:26+00:00

RISUG would be a good thing for men; it is reversible.

To those who might suggest that "men can just get snipped": must men PAY for some temporary 100% security with permanent non-virility. Not a very enlightened way of looking at things.

2012-12-27T13:31:13+00:00

"You have freedom! If you don't like this food, you can always just not eat!"

Actually, that is the position I take. All of these "intangible benefits" that come from relationships with females pale in comparison to the very substantial risks one takes should pregnancy occur, or worse yet, should one's faculties be eroded to the point that one accedes to marriage.

Even if the above do not take place, imagine the ancillary expenses one has in order to date - gas, dinner, entertainment, etc., not to mention the fact that one must tolerate inane banter.

It's just not worth it. Keep the money, and enjoy life alone.

petedacook · 2012-12-26T23:08:02+00:00

one day a woman will show up at my door demanding a paycheck.

This is a very sad and painful reality. Woman have a child and see $$ signs.

The fact is the laws give women more than their ~~fare~~ fair share of money when it comes to child support. And it is in no way fare.

Take for example a woman that does not work, yet has a child 70% of the time and the father makes 100K because he worked hard. This man will pay 100% of the cost of raising the child because the woman shows no income. The woman will also claim 100% of that child on her tax return even though she contributed nothing to the cost of the child. The father that actually pays for the cost of the child is eligible to claim nothing on the his tax returns.

It goes on and on. I have seen many woman talk about how they are "rich bitches" because they take their child's fathers money. It literally pays woman to be low lifes and never make an income for themselves because they get more in child support the less they make.

EvilPundit · 2012-12-26T20:45:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I just want control over my reproduction, why is this so hard?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	127
Comments	243
Date	December 26, 2012 5:28 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15h3mw/i_just_want_control_over_my_reproduction_why_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-just-want-control-over-my-reproduction-why-is.1005731 https://theredarchive.com/post/1005731