Im just saying, if it were a woman reaching out she’d get a whole lot of support and people standing by her side.
Post break up, when I opened up about the abuse to her friends all of them said things like, ‘but she’s such a nice person, I don’t think she could ever do that’
‘Maybe you pressured her into doing something like that’ - a girl friend of hers who recently graduated with a psychology degree.
When I tried reaching out to helplines I found that when it comes to physical abuse, most were dedicated to women and the only resource I found for men was on how to deal with ‘anger issues’ in relationships.
Now I understand that nobody really gives a shit about men. We’re on our own here and are at a massive disadvantage in society.
I can’t see it any other way.
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Hello. In order to promote inclusivity and reduce gender bias, please consider using gender-neutral language in the future.
Instead of mankind, use humanity, humankind or peoplekind.
Thank you very much.
^(I am a bot. Downvote to remove this comment. For more information on gender-neutral language, please do a web search for "Nonsexist Writing.")
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I hope you all are able to read this for the truth that it is, and I will say I am a woman, but calling this a feminist narrative is equally as hurtful to this sort of thing as “feminists” claiming it as such.
So many posts I read here are identical to testimonies of women not receiving support from men, fellow women, or the legal system. Don’t feel like it’s because you’re a man that you’re not getting support: it’s because people are absolute dicks who will use any excuse to justify their crap behavior. True feminism and feminists support the hell out of ALL rape and abuse victims (because issues of domestic abuse effect everyone every time). If people who claim to be feminist say otherwise, they’re just as bad and evil as all of the men who have systematically let rape slide for so long. If you ever see a women saying things like this and claiming to be “feminist,” feel free to call her out on that crap because not only is it morally horrible, it’s factually wrong. Sometimes it’s hard to escape those people though so check out r/bropill. One of the best subreddits for supporting men via feminism I’ve seen and the community is just so beautiful and wholesome.
We have to stand up for EVERY victim, not just when it fits our narrative, but we also need to be careful of blaming the wrong movement. Yes, women downplay male rape and yes, that is a major problem the feminist community is trying to fix. And it’s so unfortunate that these hateful women use the guise of feminism for their hate. Nobody wins. I hope everyone here who has suffered will be able to eventually find those real people who DO support you because they’re there and they care. OP, we are with you.
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Yeah I think you’re totally right that that happens and that there are absolutely assholes out there in it for the money and power. Erin Pizzey is so right on the nose, that’s crazy fucked up. But citing “decades” of feminism and its mistakes are kin to blaming all men today for things other men did fifty to a hundred years ago.
This is an article calling for the recognition of and justice for male abuse and rape victims within feminism.
This is an organization dedicated to incorporating men within feminism, such as harmful emotional and physical expectations for men.
And this is an article describing the situation you mentioned above with Erin Pizzey which has its own serious flaws, such as how the editor of her current men’s rights site does not believe in guilty verdicts for rapists period. Definitely not okay for anyone.
Bottom line is this: male victims being legitimized and accepted is a cornerstone of the movement today, people (including shit women who claim to be feminist) just don’t like to talk about that.
I’m not trying to be controversial or offensive but it does frighten me when people blame whole groups these days. The last thing we need is to lean more deeply into political polarity and ending false blame and name calling is the first place to start.
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Well. Unfortunately saying this kind of thing does encourage feminists to retort with “kill all men” bullshit. You can’t label all feminists as rotten and then expect them to see you for your male individuality.
No more “us” vs. “them,” no more women vs. men, no more “I’m done with the entire idea because the loud people really suck.” We have absolutely got to stick together and help each other if we want to change this, and that goes for many more things than feminism today.
And two other side notes to your comment... belittling strangers who are fighting for you just because you personally don’t “particularly suffer from” those things does not seem very men’s rights of you to be honest, and neither is any judge who will say they will vote one way or the other before the trial even starts, though I’m definitely not an expert on Paul Elam or his conviction history.
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[+]IntenseLamb1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Okay I really gotta get stuff done today so last comment (though ngl I’ve thoroughly enjoyed this debate, thank you for participating with me):
I did not say HeForShe dealt with legality or circumcision or whatever specifically, I meant they are attempting to normalize the idea of 3rd wave feminism for men so that those issues CAN be a part of feminism. Men supporting women means women supporting men... Women have a much harder time helping men when men don’t want help or have no idea what feminism even is, and women like myself in favor of real men’s rights have an equally hard time convincing other women that men could use some help because men keep saying feminists suck! HeForShe is about spreading knowledge on how gender inequality is wrong for everyone every. single. time. and removing the stigma that men cannot be feminists. The feminist approach they are trying to teach does absolutely suggest we start talking about all of those issues you listed.
Anyway, it’s been real. I think it’s crucial for people to have these conversations and I appreciate how civil everybody has been on this sub toward me despite learning how annoying all this must be to you guys.
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No I think you’re right! Actually I’m very glad you linked that post, I was not aware of how often you all probably hear that and I think that was all very very valid. I know that’s just me as one person saying that but I think it’s important to talk about what parts of feminism are bullshit frequently.
Unfortunately there isn’t a way of saying “yeah you’re kicked out of Feminism capital F.” So people easily can falsely claim the whole group of people as their own and they’re fucked for that (just like Islamic extremists, white nationalists, etc.). But the more people who actively help change that definition by not blaming “feminists,” the better. Perhaps blaming “extremists” and “power hungry individuals” in order to invalidate claims like that could help because that’s more truthful.
My original point is that blaming “feminist narrative” is not only unfair to feminist women (though not nearly as much), it’s unfair to men who are victims of this system who could otherwise find a community within feminism that is supportive. That’s all I want and I’m not saying anything on behalf of ALL feminism, just trying to hopefully engage in an argument about how our choice of language can really affect perception concerning gender and how we all might benefit from not doing that.
(Also, hell yeah on your validating question. I think that’s spot on. The more vague you can make it, the more I think you’d expose that garbage.)
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