I was told i should post what happened last night.

HeForeverBleeds · 2018-05-08T04:46:27+00:00

I wish I could give you legal advice, because ideally you should take your child and leave, and there's no way to do that without getting the courts involved. But unfortunately relying on the Court System or the Justice System is at best hit or miss. As I know well and as you got a taste of when you called the cops

I would say that maybe this should go to r/LegalAdvice, but I'm not sure how prejudice they are when it comes to men in situations like this. You need a divorce attorney who's on your side. I know there are some "father's rights attorneys"; I don't have personal experience with that, but perhaps you can find a good one

Apart from that, as someone else suggested: record all your interactions with your child's mother, because often it's the only thing that protects falsely accused men and the only way to convince the courts that she's the abuser and not you

Meyright · 2018-05-08T08:44:20+00:00

You need to be very careful about your next steps if you want to divorce your wife.

Don't talk to the police anymore as necessary but be polite and friendly, they are not your friends and will use EVERYTHING you say against you!
Do the following without your wife knowing of it! Play along for a while like everything is fine with your marriage before you tell her you want a divorce.
Secure every legal document you have and store them at your parents or somewhere else safe. Make a backup of everything.
Safe every interaction you have had with your wife digitally, e-mail, messenger, facebook etc. and make a backup
Change every important digital password you have!
Start writing a diary with things regarding your and your wife's interaction with your daughter and your wife, with time and date etc.
Go talk to a lawyer
If you live in a single party consent state, go and buy a secret video camera and a voice recorder, install them in your house. If you want to start a serious conversation again with your wife again, make sure the camera sees it and the voice recorder is on! This will probably safe your ass! It has saved many many men from getting falsely accused already and it is highly likely if you file for divorce, your wife will falsely accuse you to get an advantage! Make sure your wife won't find the camera.
If you took care of everything, talk to your wife that you want a divorce and don't forget about the camera and the voice recorder! Make a backup of the recordings!
Ask your lawyer beforehand if it will be to your disadvantage in a custody dispute if you leave the house. If not, leave the house.
Ask your lawyer about a restraining order if your wife got violent on camera again

AboomalavaU · 2018-05-08T06:43:50+00:00

As i understand you should stay in the home. Do not let her take the child! Go file a protective order at the courthouse. Once you've done that, there will be a court date at which time you can explain to the judge the reality of your situation. It sounds like she is unsafe for you and your child to be around. Having said that, can you prove it? Also, if you were to have temp custody, where would the child stay during the day? Perhaps s reputable daycare? You can push that the daycare is better than even the mother IF that is true.

Lots to think about. The cops tried to force you into a stereotype. I hate that. The court may or may not do that too. Fight for whats right and good luck.

Based_Hootless · 2018-05-08T04:17:26+00:00

Obviously, you need to immediately get your stuff out of the house and stay with a friend. Then, inform your wife you intend on getting a divorce. Retain legal counsel as soon as possible. If anyone in your personal life knows your username on Reddit, then you should delete this post, as it contains incriminating information about you grabbing her phone, pushing her, etc. Is your daughter safe right now?

Troubleshooter11 · 2018-05-08T10:17:22+00:00

Man, this sounds like such a terrifying situation to be in. You have my sympathies. Unfortunately i have no advice or other words that may help you out.

Do you live in the USA? Because it seems most of these kinds of stories come from the USA

itsdefective · 2018-05-08T12:08:17+00:00

Why in the fuck would you call the cops?!

maxcorrice · 2018-05-08T11:58:04+00:00

Every time someone ignores you like that you need to go one step above their heads until you find someone willing to listen.

cnctec90 · 2018-05-08T12:42:00+00:00

How did she cut you? with her nails? did she have a sharp object?

turn20left · 2018-05-08T13:16:06+00:00

/r/mgtow

The__Tren__Train · 2018-05-08T15:50:49+00:00

I know it's too late for you OP, but for any other man who is reading this..

do not marry under any circumstances..

Neko404 · 2018-05-08T16:16:42+00:00

Get a good lawyer and try to divorce her ass. Document every incident with her after they happen. Recordings of theses incidents would also go a long ways though depending on the state laws it might be illegal to record without her concent.

ContemporaryBelle · 2018-05-08T19:14:33+00:00

In addition to all of the advice you've already been given, keep record of every single communication you have with her. Screenshot and save any texts, including ones from the past that implicate her instability. Save every e-mail and private message. Screen shot any social media posts that have the slightest chance of painting her in a bad light. (At the same time start erasing and scrubbing out of existence any social media posts that could be used against you in the same way.) If she blocks you at some point, have a friend who isn't blocked do it. Minimize communication that can't be supported with a paper trail. Write down the date and time of every incident that proves her to be abusive, neglectful, or generally unsafe. That and a sharp tongued lawyer are the only ammo you really have available. It will be war and she will definitely fight in the dirtiest of ways.

Be prepared for the reality that even if you have all of that it might not be enough. However, just to give a glimmer of hope, my mother was this kind of crazy and her second husband got full legal and physical custody of both his kids on top of her paying child support to him. My father was also able to get full legal and physical custody of my little sister from his third wife despite him being active duty in the special forces (meaning frequent deployments on very little notice) because he was able to paint a sufficiently dismal picture of what kind of mother she was. It is awful you are going through this...the whole marriage sounds like it's been garbage for a while. It is even more awful the police tried to side against the bleeding victim in the situation. It is tragic and outrageous.

Theo_Stormchaser · 2018-05-09T20:15:15+00:00

So sorry to hear that. I was a police volunteer and I can say my former agency is making changes for the better in this, but most cops are used to seeing battered women. That's what they train in academy. I wish I could give you advice. The only thing I can say is reach out to friends and make good new ones. Band together and build networks with other men that have your back. If worst comes to worst you need a plan equivalent to a financial disaster recovery plan. And if you are religious, pray.

Good hunting.

HeForeverBleeds · 2018-05-08T04:11:08+00:00

Divorce and get custody... It's really not complicated.

Ghostwarrior215k · 2018-05-08T17:21:12+00:00

Hey if all else fails take your child and go to a non-extradition country. Considering 17.5% of custodial parents are fathers... you have an 82.5% chance of losing your child if you go through divorce and a custody battle.

ckershaw6 · 2018-05-08T18:06:01+00:00

For the same reasons that you can’t “defend yourself” against cripples, the mentally ill, children, or the elderly, you pretty much can’t “defend yourself” against women. Men are just built differently. They’re bigger. You hurt yourself by even touching her, because at that point it became a fight and not an assault.

Headbanger5 · 2018-05-08T07:07:44+00:00

This will sound extreme and ile get down voted but kidnap and kill the wife. Make it look like an accident. Then after the heat dies down take full custody of the kid and live happily ever after.

Title	I was told i should post what happened last night.
Author	cnctec90
Upvotes	94
Comments	39
Date	May 8, 2018 2:57 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/8htgae/i_was_told_i_should_post_what_happened_last_night/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/i-was-told-i-should-post-what-happened-last-night.901623 https://theredarchive.com/post/901623