Im sorry brothers, but im stepping down this has just become too much for me

ZimbaZumba · 2012-12-24T06:40:52+00:00

With all issues, however important, it's best to not let them consume you. Balance is important, else things can get out of perspective. The MRM is a long term project and turning Society's opinions is not going to happen in a day, it is going to take years. Rationing the emotional energy you expend over this long journey is important.

A rest is a good thing and you may return later and be able to advocate in a more detached way. Which I hope you do, take it easy.

CMOS222 · 2012-12-24T07:17:44+00:00

Being one of the few people who see through the bullshit is a very exhausting and frustrating process, indeed. Hopefully you find happiness with where ever you donate your intellectual energy next

2012-12-24T07:23:06+00:00

Take it easy for as long as you need to. You don't have to go around trying to persuade people, especially if it causes too many problems for you.

Pecanpig · 2012-12-24T07:40:39+00:00

Best of luck to you.

actanonverba8 · 2012-12-24T07:48:15+00:00

Thanks for all your efforts. If, in the future, you should decide to get re-involved, maybe you could do it a little differently. Do it part time. Don't try to convince people who are totally brainwashed or misandric. Be careful about getting ganged up on. It's exhausting getting swarmed from all sides by vicious people. I know it's going to happen if you stand up for men's rights, but try to reduce how many times you are in that circumstance.

Finally, try to see yourself differently. I feel good about myself for being a part of men's rights. Regardless of the slow progress or setbacks, I know I'm doing something good. That's the little bit I can control, what I do. I can't control how long it takes for the culture or the country or the world to become a better place.

Best wishes to you in your future.

2012-12-24T09:12:05+00:00

Take some holidays from it bro, I hope you will get better from whatever is going on with you.

If things look very bad at the moment, consider taking some therapy. I'd recommend a gestalt-school therapist, as that school focuses on your perception of the world and it may help you reframe whatever may be bugging you.

*fistbump*

CMOS222 · 2012-12-24T10:12:00+00:00

Pardon the Piggyback, but this is problem I see with "the movement" and with men in general (e.g., /r/oney).

We suck as a support system. If you look at feminism or /r/TwoXChromosomes you will see common feel of solidarity and affirmations. Here and /r/oney it's a common theme of identifying what the problem is and yelling about it and sometimes yelling at one another about it.

We really are problem focused and not solution focused. Part of the solution is supporting and building ourselves up as men. Seldom are their positive posts about success stories or how we can make better effort in our local community. We don't have to make our issues and statistics known to be effective for building men and our boys up for their future. Much of the time it's just making that connection and knowing we are not alone.

I really envy women and feminism in this regard and I mean it. It seems so much more natural for them.

To the OP, cheers man. Take a break and find a place to build yourself up. Hopefully you can find one that shares your views here at the same time!

SCCROW · 2012-12-24T15:04:36+00:00

“I am old, Gandalf. I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart of hearts. Well-preserved indeed! Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread. That can't be right. I need a change, or something.”

I think at times all MRAs feel like butter scraped over too much bread.

dinky_hawker · 2012-12-24T15:34:15+00:00

having 50 pages bookmarked on my browser just for quick links to accurate statistics.

post your bookmarks, please.

2012-12-24T08:18:11+00:00

Good luck feeling better.

fluxBurns · 2012-12-24T14:23:16+00:00

Take care of yourself, you are not disposable!

ghebert001 · 2012-12-24T15:32:23+00:00

No one said it was ever going to be easy. Your health and well-being is more important so do what you need to do to.

Vladamir141 · 2012-12-24T17:39:47+00:00

I wish you'd reconsider. Perhaps you don't feel you're making a difference, so I'm going to come out of my lurker status here and reassure you.

This subreddit has enlightened me greatly. I suppose at some time I'll have to mention that I am a female, and I hope that doesn't get me chased off here. I never realized just how shabbily some of us have treated you. Most of the time, we just sort of accept the long-held belief that men are oppressing us. Reading the things on here have seriously changed a lot for me. I'm starting to look at the men in my life differently, and the unfairness they've endured simply because they are men is sickening.

If it helps at all, I have been sharing some of this information with other people. Sadly, a lot of men I know are just so used to being treated this way that they scoff at any kind of positive changes in the future. The females in my life are surprisingly more open to this idea than I thought they'd be. So take heart! Your arguments and proof aren't wasted. Please keep fighting for yourselves.

shady8x · 2012-12-24T20:36:38+00:00

That is the main reason I take looooooooooooong breaks between my visits to this sub.

Anyway, good luck in fighting your illness.

Ihmhi · 2012-12-24T20:40:20+00:00

Honestly, I think it's important to keep up with MRA news, but some days I can't stand to look at what's happening to my fellow men. It's just too disheartening.

I can't imagine very many people can go through a page or two of links here and come out thinking any better of the world. :(

2012-12-24T21:47:23+00:00

Your own health and happiness comes first.

rightsbot · 2012-12-24T06:34:18+00:00

Post text automatically copied here. (Why?) (Report a problem.)

DerickBurton · 2012-12-24T09:22:32+00:00

Have a good Christmas and rest up.

C0CKPUNCHER · 2012-12-24T09:44:48+00:00

Part of the problem is outside us, part of it is inside.

UOLZEMOS · 2012-12-24T11:00:01+00:00

I just came to this subreddit, however, it looks as if you were/are well known. Thanks in advance to any and all hard work you have done here sir.

Depression is a monster of a beast, such a small thing to be inflicted upon one's mind, yet the scars of which can extend up until our death. Just please, promise me that you will do your best to live your life with as little fear as possible, remember we only live once, best to make the most of it now.

Farewell, for now.

pcarvious · 2012-12-24T11:11:19+00:00

Take care of yourself first. There are enough of us here that we can muster on. If it helps talk to friends and get in contact with people you haven't seen in a while. Decompress. I wish you luck and suggest looking at or cuddling with a kitten.

Workchoices · 2012-12-24T11:22:44+00:00

Its hard to be reading about and knowing about a bunch of really negative and depressing shit all of the time. Then you try and tell people in your life about it and nobody gives a shit.

Its the main reason why I only browse /r/suicidewatch and never sub to it. i get enough of it at work, dont want that stuff turning up all of the time when I'm not ready for it.

2012-12-24T13:01:39+00:00

You got a point. Don't let it get to you and don't overthink it. The fact that you're aware of what's what in feminism and MRA is good enough

2012-12-24T14:22:30+00:00

I apologize if this available elsewhere but can you post the links of the statistics you have so that all of us can benefit? Thanks in advance.

2012-12-24T15:59:42+00:00

I wish you the best! Depression shouldn't be taken lightly. Sounds like you went through some heavy shit.

Get well soon!

petrobot78 · 2012-12-24T17:01:21+00:00

Stay strong my friend. You'll be in my thoughts.

sigtrap · 2012-12-24T17:05:03+00:00

I suffer from depression too and sometimes just reading this subreddit makes me want to give up and just makes me feel even worse. Stay strong, you're not alone. I know that feel.

Molsenator · 2012-12-24T17:08:29+00:00

I know how you feel, dude. Depression ruled my life for 5 years, and I sank about as low as one can go. But it does get easier to live with this stuff. I'll be around if ya ever want to talk about anything. In the mean time, take care of yourself, and have a very merry Christmas.

exiledcoyote · 2012-12-24T17:42:48+00:00

You should post those bookmarks in a small collection for the rest of us before you go...

2012-12-24T17:54:53+00:00

I hope you get well soon and are able to rejoin the fight. It's very discouraging that people just look at us like lunatic chauvinists. It takes time to raise awareness. When feminism first peaked it's head out in the late 1800s and early 1900s they were laughed at too, and this is when feminism still had good ideals and goals (not just, lets throw all men in prison for looking at us). It will take time, and ridicule - likely a LOT. But hopefully MRA will eventually break the feminist stronghold and we'll have our rights back. Again, best wishes, brotha'.

blackstonesinger · 2012-12-25T04:13:43+00:00

Good luck with everything. I hope you find peace.

AnnArchist · 2012-12-27T06:21:25+00:00

Remember to walk away from the keyboard every once in a while bro!

welfarecuban · 2012-12-24T10:39:30+00:00

You know... one thing you could do would be to put your links in one spot, with a brief description of each. Then once you post it, other guys who need that information will have a place to find it right away. Statistics and data are indispensable.

CMOS222 · 2012-12-24T13:21:29+00:00

I understand how you're feeling, but I think it's worth pointing out that being MRA can also simply be a mindset rather than being...some kind of warrior or activist all the time. Sometimes to myself I define 'MRA' as 'male respect advocate' rather than 'mens rights activist', in that I'd be satisfied with a world and an environment around me that treats men with equal respect as women. That would be enough. And I also think that becoming 'MRA' is also an internal thing...unlocking or untangling or getting rid of subconscious assumptions and ideas about men being lesser beings that I've picked up, or have been ingrained to us, over the years. A lot of MRAs became so because they were dissatisfied with how they've been made to feel bad in specific incidences, or in general, simply because they are male.

Also, sometimes arguing with certain people is simply a waste of energy. Some people just don't get stuff, because they don't change unless the rest of society changes. Because they're groupthink sheep. And because they don't accept that a viewpoint should be dervived from rational reasoning, and instead use reasoning to rationalize their viewpoint. It can almost be described as a vicious circle - groupthink man haters won't change until they get the message from society that their viewpoints aren't considered morally acceptable anymore.

The positive thing is that more and more people are adopting an MRA perspective, even if that's not how they label it. Regardless of how it is labled, more and more people are starting to realize you can't have a just, egalitarian society and at the same time consider it morally acceptable to denigrate or hate one particular demographic. It's just logically impossible. A good example of this is how the number of people who subscribe to this forum has grown in the past few years, as well as the number of people who've said they've come to this forum expecting one thing, and then discovering to their surprise a lot of the ideas here are quite reasonable.

TheCommonManMedia · 2012-12-24T15:32:08+00:00

This is something I had to come to terms with this year as well. Sometimes we need to take a break from saving the world, and work on saving ourselves. Best wishes, and good luck.

gifforc · 2012-12-24T15:46:04+00:00

I recently re-subbed. There are aspects of this movement that piss me off as a man who prefers traditional roles (I like to treat my lady like a lady, disagree with notions that women should be drafted, etc).

It's a worthy movement but I understand how hardcore advocacy would be tough. I mostly just keep quiet unless asked.

Ma99ie · 2012-12-24T18:50:27+00:00

Stepping down from what?

2012-12-24T16:27:46+00:00

I find fighting for mens equal protection under the law, to be a remedy for my mild depression. It is about balance though bro, and if you gotta step out for a minute than thats what you gotta do. As you step down, others are stepping it up!!

TsimfuckisTroll · 2012-12-24T17:03:02+00:00

Man Up Pussy

unexpecteditem · 2012-12-24T12:03:05+00:00

You're wrong and that's that.

Title	Im sorry brothers, but im stepping down this has just become too much for me
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	148
Comments	90
Date	December 24, 2012 6:32 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/15d3ew/im_sorry_brothers_but_im_stepping_down_this_has/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/im-sorry-brothers-but-im-stepping-down-this-has.1005832 https://theredarchive.com/post/1005832