(This is long) Boy do I have a story for you. Apologies for the formatting and longevity!
A little background info: I'm a third world citizen, coming from a country that has very defined gender roles and a natural respect for men as they are the ones forced into the military and do most of the labor. I traveled to Europe for my college degree and met my fiancé (both mid twenties). At first, of course Europe came a bit of a shock to me, I realized that culturally men are at a social disadvantage that no one tells them about. Day after day went by as I stood in awe of the new feminist movement, observing the deeply entitled behavior of women marching for equality - who seem to have a picky choosy attitude as to which aspect they would like to apply this equality to. Never would it have occurred to me that this attitude infilitrated their legal system.
Fast forward to meeting this wonderful man. After about 7 months of being official, my then boyfriend, let's call him Ben, was featured on an Instagram page, so I created an account (didn't have one and really dislike the platform) to see the posts he's featured in and like them. This is where hell ensues.
One day after liking two pictures he's featured in I get a message from a woman. "Hi I was wondering how you know Ben?". The woman proceeded to explain that she had noticed me as a new follower of his and that I had liked his tagged pictures. She insisted on an explanation. Now Ben and I have 0 posts and are generally very private about our personal lives on the internet, so our relationship isn't "out there". I ask him and he says that this woman is his ex - let's call her Keyla.
Why does he have his ex on his social media? Well, because she's bat-sht crazy. Keyla threatened self-harm if he blocked her from anything, and on a few occasions even showed up in front of his parents* house when he blocked her. So he just stopped blocking her, and she continued to call every day, even from different caller IDs. I remember picking up the phone once and I just heard heavy breathing when she realized it was a female voice that answered her.
For the next few days I did as he said, I ignored her and blocked her, so did he. She went absolutely insane. She contacted and (where applicable) video called me on every thinkable platform (LinkedIn as well), and spammed me with waves of messages at odd times that were all either incredibly offensive or desperate seeking sympathy.
Things got worse with her harassment towards him as now she felt "threatened" by my existence. She called over 30 times a day. Sent emails that insinuated suicide if he doesn't meet her or claimed to drive to his parents (during Covid) and "do something he wouldn't like". Ben now feared that she could harm his parents or would contact his employers and he couldn't estimate the limits of how far this woman was willing to go. At this point we went to the police. This is where the doors of hell shut and swallowed us whole.
As Ben explained the situation, the police officer seemed extremely uninterested and kept interrupting him with "did you talk it out?" - what a brilliant suggestion that Ben didn't come up with in the last 2 years!! After telling him about the suicide-threats he got aggressive and said "hey hey those are some grave allegations" and advised us to try to talk to her "as a team". At this point I just wanted to cry, knowing exactly that if I had made half of these claims in this precinct about a man who is tormenting me this way that I would get immediate help.
The police officer kept advising us against filing a report as this could "ruin her life" and made judgmental remarks about how we should be more empathetic towards a woman who is just emotional. He lied about not finding her name in the system just to buy more time to tell us that this isn't worth it. After 2 hours, he finally let us file the report. With countless scoffs and interruptions while we were handing in evidence to support the case. Even saying that Ben was a lucky guy having "2 women fight over him".
He wanted a restraining order. Or a confirmation that a report was filed. Anything to show her so she would just stop. We got neither. The police officer said he had to get this approved before giving us a confirmation, and reiterated that we are horrible for wanting to ruin this girl's career instead of just "moving somewhere else and changing numbers".
Ben is living with me, so there is (for now as long as she doesn't find out my address) no way for her to show up at his house and hurt him. But the harassment hasn't stopped. 5 months passed with no change in her behavior and we had nothing (usually you and the person you filed against get a letter). We received a call from the police and we were so excited - but they were just asking whether we wanted to go through with the report or not - after 5 months! We still haven't heard back from them (8 months now), nor have we received a letter, nor has this woman experienced any consequences for her behavior.
The average time it takes for a woman to file a harassment report in this country (mid Europe) is 2 weeks. She usually gets a restraining order in that time. The police of her address's district also passes by her house at night periodically. I'm ashamed of how this country is so à-la-cart supportive of equality. Bare in mind we have a >25% female quota, we are one of the leading countries of equality. What a load of bull.
TLDR: my fiancé's psycho ex girlfriend was harassing him for 2 years, he was advised against a police report and even after filing one, it's been 8 months and he hasn't heard anything back.
