R/AITA strikes again. OP lets her cousin come over to take a pregnancy test (comes back positive), swears to her cousing she won't tell. OP's husband finds the test, assumes it belongs to his wife. She offers an incredibly inadequate explanation, the sub jumps all over the husband.

isthebuffetopenyet · 2021-09-20T19:01:17+00:00

It's interesting that he is criticised for not trusting her but she is not criticised for not trusting him to keep a secret when it was clear how upset he was.

OP and the majority of commenters are indeed Assholes!!

Xx_undersc0relife_xX · 2021-09-20T20:06:00+00:00

Right because when a guy finds a pregnancy test in his house he just shouldn't worry about it and get back to his own buissnes

Klexosinfreefall · 2021-09-20T18:33:39+00:00

Looking through those comments was rough. I'm pretty sure they gave me cancer.

Anyways, it's standard fare unfortunately. Women can do no wrong and it's always the man's fault. It's gross and infuriating but fighting that cultural toxicity is a real uphill fight.

Clemicus · 2021-09-20T20:18:42+00:00

Maybe she could have stated "You'll have to trust me for the moment. It's not mine. I can't expand on that as I don't want to break someone's trust"

Also, with this being the premise, there's no way of knowing what they've talked about. They could have talked about having children or were in the process

And you don't know if his response was down to previous times when she's been vague or hasn't communicated something properly and just expected him to accept it which has caused trust issues

Either way, it seriously could have been handled better and the OP is an AH

suicidejojo87 · 2021-09-20T18:20:52+00:00

Reading those comment really did piss me off. Makes me believe majority of those people either don't have kids and/or had a kid but intentionally stood being single parents. I'll keep it simple. A child changes your whole life. Naturally, coming home to something like that and your partner being super secretive about it? I would be on edge too. There have been many instances where a woman would surprise that to her husband/partner without any preparation. As I read, it's obvious she took his emotional state as a joke. Her cousin should know better tbh pregnancy isn't an accident unless it's rape/force. Your husband is your life partner. You literally hurt that trust. There's always a better way to explain things. She's definitely an asshole for that.

I know if I copy and paste this to that post, I'm gonna get downvoted so hard. Funny when I am a father and husband. There have been many situations where my emotional and mental state wasn't taken serious in parent situations. So I understand what that situation could potentionally do to her husband. Women care about themselves more than both of her and husband as a collective/unit.

Edit: I sorta copied this in the comments there. I'm ready for the hate.

HeismanLock · 2021-09-20T18:41:53+00:00

She subconsciously or consciously knew he would find it.

She left it there for drama to happen.

She could easily gave it to her to take with.

Plutozxd · 2021-09-20T19:33:22+00:00

Yep, unsubbed from that subreddit a long time ago, incredibly left leaning and filled with radical feminists

ElvesAndGoblins · 2021-09-21T03:20:19+00:00

AItA has a huge sexism problem. My wife audibly gasps whenever we listen to stories and the comments don't immediately blame the men for everything.

Especially on the issue of paternity testing.

throwRA_SheIsBack · 2021-09-20T18:17:34+00:00

Imature , how can grown women capable of being pregnant be so imature

LettuceBeGrateful · 2021-09-21T12:00:06+00:00

That thread was absolutely atrocious. There were so many ways for the wife to handle the situation while hiding her cousin's identity and not stringing the husband along. People in AITA expect a husband's loyalty to be unconditional, and anything else is an immediate red flag. There's an entire comment chain accusing him of being abusive, because they found it likely that he was controlling and regularly rummaged through their trash bins.

Part of being in a healthy relationship is communicating when you need reassurance, and being able to provide it. The fact that so few people in that thread could empathize with the man was alarming.

Vanriel · 2021-09-21T02:35:03+00:00

I can see both sides. If they have a trusting relationship then he should of accepted her word that it wasn't her test, but on the flip side don't see why she couldn't tell him that it was a friend's who wanted to keep it quiet. She didn't have to name names and point fingers but if she had given him a bit more of a reasonable explanation this whole thing could of been avoided.

LateralThinker13 · 2021-09-21T14:46:44+00:00

Husband and wife both acted like morons. But mostly the husband, sorry. He did not trust his wife when she said it wasn't hers, it was someone elses' who asked her not to say.

He doesn't trust his wife. Maybe that attitude is justified, maybe not. Wife sucks in that a marriage is a partnership; you do NOT keep secrets from your spouse. I'm married and both my wife and I tell others "I'll keep what you say secret from everybody BUT my spouse. I don't withhold from them. They do the same. That's not negotiable."

See? That's not hard. But she handled it poorly, too, in her phrasing. She could have been a lot more forthright, even without betraying her promise. Yes, she could have taken a pregnancy test right there, or simply challenged her husband on if he respects her word or not.

Because if he does not (which he clearly doesn't), then they have bigger problems.

CyoneHotPee · 2021-09-21T15:49:40+00:00

Link?

TheRabid · 2021-09-20T18:16:18+00:00

Um. Okay. Sure.

I'm not sure how this relates to Men's Rights. :D These people who are commenting don't really matter to him (or her - she appears to just want validation).

Is she an asshole for not telling him? She made a promise. Sure, she should have explained more; but a promise is a promise, no? Similarly, he can decide to kick her to the curb for this action. Does that make him out to be an asshole? Maybe. But it doesn't directly impact me so I try not to think about it.