"[Sociopaths] may realize that blaming is how they control others to harm the targets they viciously attack, often family members or former love interests. They understand both the destructive and defensive powers of blaming and make regular use of both."

AyeMatey · 2010-11-27T06:00:24+00:00

I was married to a sociopath.

Didn't realize it at the time of course. It didn't show up until the going got tough.

I remember talking with her, about this friend of ours - his odd lack of empathy and concern for other people, in all sorts of situations. He had this ability to just completely ignore the other person's point of view. He'd steal things from people, expensive things, apparently without regret. And he had plenty of money. He'd damage property, purposefully, and never show the slightest indication that he felt guilty. Never make amends. He'd throw glass bottles onto people's sidewalks, for no reason. This was an adult. He had children. This was not a 9 year old we're talking about, though he behaved like one.

At the time I remember using the word "sociopath" in describing his behavior to my (then) wife.

Ironically she was banging him at the time!

When I found out, then she turned into the sociopath, blaming me for her infidelity, for her drinking, for her failure to get a job, for her health issues, for my son's asperger's syndrome, etc etc etc. Yes, she alleged that my "shaking him" when he was a child caused his Asperger's.

The turnabout, the change in personality, was as disturbing as it was sudden.

Anyway the court believed her, so ... there is now one more set of fatherless children in the world.

And so the cycle continues. Both my ex-wife and her lover grew up in homes without fathers. My ex-wife saw her father once or twice a year. Hated him. (her mother alienated her father from her, just as she is now alienating me from my children). And her lover never knew his own father; he had apparenly left the family when the boy was young.

2010-11-27T07:07:45+00:00

That's my mom. She punished me because she was angry, and blamed me for her failings. Thankfully I eventually stopped believing her that I am a terrible flawed inadequate human being and realized that some people are pathetic and can be quite evil.

macdunc · 2010-11-27T10:51:15+00:00

Sounds like one of my bosses at work, ironically hes done a pscy degree and is now starting clinical practise.

Cant wait until the button pushing shyster finally leaves.

Mind you where I work is a bubbling cauldron of dysfunction.

2010-11-27T15:12:34+00:00

My mother was and still is a hardcore sociopath. Reading this article is like describing my mother word for word.

johnwaynesbeltbuckle · 2010-11-27T21:52:43+00:00

That's my mom to a degree, and definitely my sister-in-law. Wow.

2010-11-29T20:31:25+00:00

Man, this describes my ex to a T. Just madness.

holdthe234 · 2010-11-26T23:55:48+00:00

Yep, just replace sociopaths with women and the statement makes perfect sense.