I found this article I found very interesting. It does a great job of explaining why blaming the existence of violence on masculinity is absurd. It's in Spanish, but I'll try resuming it and translating it for you, adding some points myself.

First, the author mentions how "masculinity" has become the source of all evils - imperialism, racism, corruption, violence, etc. By eliminating masculinity, then, all these problems of the world would be solved, we'd free men from the violence they generate themselves, and everyone would be happier.

This is, in theory, a similar foundation to religions such as christianity. This is an interesting point. Think about it. Jesus Christ, the namesake of the horribly pathriarcal and oppressive christian religion, was actually the epitome of a "non-toxic" masculinity himself. Everything feminists demand men to be (empathetic, inclusive, kind, peaceful) was preached by Jesus 2000 years ago.

You can already see where this is going, right? Despite his efforts and massive influence, Jesus failed to rid the world of violence. Not just that, his teachings paradoxically generated some terrible forms of violence.

Can we expect feminism to succeed at what religion failed to do? Can we really believe feminism will not start wars and state violence simply because they claim to be against it, like it happened with these religions?

Even if a man is completely "deconstructed" and peaceful, he could still end up the victim of male violence. This is not a theoretical scenario but a reality. For the premise that ridding men of masculinity would solve all problems to come true, we would need all men abide to that. That's not gonna happen.

How will we deal with those that refuse to abide by these rules and still employ violence? Can you really condemn violence and fight it, without using it? And if you do use violence, how is that any different from a State of Law where the police have the monopoly over coercive violence and violent acts are punished? Also, do parents actually teach their kids to solve their issues with violence? Schools? Maybe we could say it's glorified in popular media, but then, does that mean we should start censoring all of this material?

The author also brings up how men are blamed for the standards they allegedly impose on others while ignoring the way in which women shape these standards: from mothers, caretakers, early school teachers, and dating prospects.

There's also the fact that, while perhaps less common, women do commit violence, so blaming the entirety of the problem on masculinity seems a little short-sighted. Speaking of, I recommend you start reading about domestic violence dynamics in the LGBT community. Same-sex couples, same issues. Lesbians and bisexual women are somehow at greater or equal risk of suffering DV, despite dating less men. Interesting, huh?

Most men are not violent criminals, and those that are fit a certain profile. Absent fathers, marginalization, social inequality, academic underachievement, and a long etc. all play their part. You could raise 2 boys with the same values, watching the same shows, idolizing the same people. Give one of them all the privileges listed above, and, suddenly, their chanches of commiting violent crime are at polar opposites.

Finally, the author mentions how (in Spain), for women, the government offers all sorts of economical packages, protections and other measures. For men, there's chastising and self-help. To sit in the corner and think about what you did (or have never done).

In conclusion: The deconstruction of masculinity, without taking into account women's role, is insincere; without taking into account other factors, short-sighted; and without proposing external solutions, empty.