Tired of being economically sized up by women

dgillz · 2016-08-13T16:51:40+00:00

Man I can relate. I have a Toyota Corolla that is a great car, it's 10 years old, but I like it. I drive it on dates or maybe meeting someone for the first time. I was even asked once "what do you drive?". I pointed to the 10 year old Corolla. I could see she was unimpressed. What I didn't tell her is I also own a 1 year old 4-Runner and a vintage '69 Pontiac Firebird. Either of those would've been more impressive.

I've also had been dating a few women and after a while, I showed them the other 2 cars. One in particular was upset at me for not picking her up in the sports car. Jeez.

On the job thing, "what do you do?", I answer "I am in computers", and if pushed for details, "I do technical support for a ERP software package". What I do not tell them, at least not right away, is that I own the company and make $300k per year. If I disclose this type of stuff too early I am setting myself up.

I even make my dates pay sometimes, to weed out the ones with bad intentions. If she is not willing to spring for it every now and then, well, it's going to be a short relationship.

bakedpotato486 · 2016-08-13T16:20:22+00:00

It's disheartening when you wake up to this, but that fades if you can see it for what it is.

Men and women are made to reproduce. This is at the core of our partnering up. Hence, virtually all of our mating behaviors come down to what works best for having and raising offspring. Without going into too much detail, because entire books can and have been written about this, in a nutshell men provide protection and resources, while women provide the capacity for birthing and nurturing kids. Both sexes are tuned to physical indicators of good reproductive health, such as the hip-waist ratio in women and abdominal musculature in men. But beyond that we also instinctively look for traits that will help insure the survival of a family.

For women, this means safety and resources. She needs to feel like she will have a safe place to raise children with enough food, protection, and community support. This is instinctive and will be found in women everywhere, regardless of culture. Whether she gets this from you or from the government is another matter. That's cultural.

If you look fit and healthy, she'll want to fuck you (reproduce). If you look well off and well connected, she'll want to keep you. Having both is the best, but very few men in modern society fall into both categories evenly.

So, the answer to whether you will be able to find a woman who treats you "as a human instead of a wallet" is basically no. Every woman who sees you as a potential mate will want to know how well you can provide for her and her offspring. It's inherent. You can't avoid it in women unless they have something wrong with their mental health.

Keep in mind that women obscure their mating strategies, so some will hide this quite well. That's also behind why women "change" after marriage. They don't change. They just stop pretending about certain things.

I wonder if anyone here has had any luck going to a foreign country to meet women.

This is not a bad idea, but only because you're more likely to find women who value traditional gender roles. That's a good thing if you want a more traditional family, which it sounds like you do. When I say traditional, I mean anything that prioritizes the family unit and is low divorce risk.

So far all the American women I meet are completely motivated by greed, a desire to find a man who will provide them with luxury in exchange for sex. In my book, that's prostitution.

I remember thinking that. "All women are prostitutes; the only difference is how overt they are". Don't wallow in the bitterness. See their behavior as a biological construct and necessary for the furtherance of humanity. As the saying goes, it's a feature, not a bug. The reason for the bitterness comes because of all the media bullshit about how women are supposedly more pure than men. We've been deceived completely as a society. Women are not entirely to blame. They lap it up, but the true deception comes from elsewhere. Stop expecting the media and societal norms to reflect reality. The funny thing is that once you understand how women behave and you treat them within those expectations, women are putty in your hands. Well, except for the truly crazy ones, which you're better off avoiding anyway.

Of course, if you object to greedy behavior, you're branded a misogynist.

It's not greedy. You provide the stuff, they provide the vag. It's how life is. You don't have to like it, but it's human nature and based on our entire history and biology. You aren't going to be able to fight that. It isn't wrong. It just is. Accept it and live within its limitations.

I know men who have gotten married, only to be betrayed by their wives. As soon as their wives are eligible for half their assets, they divorce their husbands. I even know a man who pays a huge monthly mortgage for a house he's not allowed to live in. His wife lives there with her boyfriend that she got via cheating.

Yep, all that sucks big time. This is what happens when society incentivizes bad behavior by women. You can't escape it with any guarantee unless you marry into a culture where divorce is shameful. These don't really exist anymore, except in highly religious pockets, which most people don't want.

I have decided I'll never marry without a prenup.

Good luck with that. They're not nearly any kind of guarantee at all. If you do get one, make sure you see a lawyer with significant past success with prenups.

Is it better to find a wife in another country?

If you want traditional values, you need to search in more traditional places. That's just logical.

Maybe Korea, Vietnam, or Russia?

Maybe. Keep in mind that if you bring your wife back to the USA she will be affected by what she is exposed to in her new country and around her newfound female friends.

Or is there some trick to finding a woman in the USA who's not a materialistic whore?

The ones with strong religious values are probably the safest bet, as I mentioned above, which I also said is not necessarily what you want. Before le edgy atheists talk about hypocrisy, I'm including only people who truly live according to their values, rather than people who are just religious-looking. They are few and far between.

Other than that, statistically speaking, you're more likely to hit on a winner who hasn't slutted it up by marrying someone young, who hasn't attended college, doesn't smoke or do drugs, doesn't drink or only drinks moderately, doesn't go clubbing, etc. Good luck with that, too.

TL;DR: Travel. Experience other cultures. Decide for yourself.

Edit: Just to clarify my remark about edgy atheists, it was never meant to apply to all atheists, just the ones who leap to the offensive at the slightest hint of religion. They seem rather prevalent on Reddit, hence my comment. Re-reading my post I realized I might have come across as patronizing toward atheists in general, which was not my intention.

NikoMyshkin · 2016-08-13T17:14:02+00:00

You have stumbled across the red pill.

All women will judge you for your earning potential, but with foreign women, at least they will cook. I agree that western women as a group bring nothing to the table, but there are still some who will, as individuals.

Try changing g how you meet women, and you will probably change the kind of women you meet.

McFeely_Smackup · 2016-08-13T21:52:14+00:00

I've taken to hiding my wealth. On a date, I leave my 1990 Mercedes 500E at home and rent out a basic Toyota instead.

I think you're doing that backwards.

You're leaving your 26 year old car worth $5,000 at home and showing up driving a brand new car worth $20,000+

EricAllonde · 2016-08-13T16:01:17+00:00

Look for a woman who's on your level, in income terms. A woman with a successful & high-earning career or a woman who runs her own successful business. Then you know that she's financially independent, and also she's not a professional victim (i.e. feminist) because she's gone out and achieved a measure of success on her own.

You'll be much happier with that sort of woman and she'll appreciate you as an equal, rather than looking at you as her personal ATM.

cymrich · 2016-08-13T16:10:05+00:00

I think you may be reading too much in to it if they ask you about your profession. they could simply be trying to make small talk to "break the ice" and you are reading it as malicious intent. since you are going so far as to hide your real car, why mot come up with an answer to that question that allows you to gauge their reaction instead of seeing the question itself as malicious. like tell them you do odd jobs for a living, or your a garbage man... something on the less than desirable jobs list. then watch how they react to it...

also, foreign women can be just as bad... I've dated a few and am doing so currently. My current gf has a sister who got pregnant by a foreigner, had twins, uses them to get money from him every chance she can, yet has shacked up with a local guy and had another baby behind his back. sadly she is far from the only one doing stuff like this, so if you decide to go with a foreign girl make sure to scrutinize them as much as you would any other.

ecgsmithy · 2016-08-14T03:44:24+00:00

Nope. There are studies that show that women are only attracted to the top 20% of males. A good indicator to whether a woman would be solely interested in you, and just you, is to approach them in the street. Wear neutral clothes. Don't show wealth, just approach them and have a chat. Obviously a few will be in relationships, but even if Brad Pitt looking male approached those in relationships some of them would be still be 'available'.

If you are unable to receive interest from females, understand that most relationships you enter will be with the intention to extract your resources, the best thing you can do is keep that in mind, protect your assets, extract what you want from them and realise that a woman is not going to just love you for you, get over that fantasy.

--Visionary-- · 2016-08-13T17:52:35+00:00

Seems like it's impossible to find a woman or a government or a society who cares about you, a man, as a human being instead of someone to exploit for economic gain.

FTFY.

2016-08-13T20:12:10+00:00

Is it better to find a wife in another country? Maybe Korea, Vietnam, or Russia?

They're no different, and they'll size you up for your green card potential too. Once they get their citizenship, they may not stick around.

Freyzi · 2016-08-13T18:37:16+00:00

Is it better to find a wife in another country?

Not saying this is impossible but I've seen this fail dozens of times, living in Norway the people here have enjoyed A LOT of economic growth and as long as you know how to not piss your money away you could be set up really well without needing some crazy high position job. This meant a swarm of immigrants from Africa and South Asia looking for a rich Norwegian husband to live off of and it almost always ends in the guy not being able to keep up with the girl's financial needs and she leaves to look for the next one.

tio1w · 2016-08-13T20:02:51+00:00

Maybe Korea

LOL. Hell no!

Vietnam

Don't know but doubt it

Russia

No!

HmmWhatsThat · 2016-08-14T06:15:10+00:00

I live in Japan and my experience dating women from here and other parts of Asia is that they all want to know that their mate will bring enough resources to the table so they can comfortably and adequately raise children. How much varies from woman to woman, though, and finding one whose expectations meet your expectations will be key (culturally, Japanese are risk averse and many of the women I've met far prefer a salaryman who has an almost guaranteed lifetime job over a small business owner who might well make quite a bit more money).

This is not a bad thing. Look, we're men. We make things, we build things, we produce resources to sustain a family. It's part of what we do biologically. You proved this by doing a lot of hard work and improving yourself financially. The problem comes in when our counterparts see us only for that purpose, which they can get from the government in western society. Just because we are driven to win bread to feed the family doesn't mean that is all we are worth to a family. It would be like saying the only purpose of having a mother be part of a family is to act as a container for breast milk, and now that we have formula we can do away with mothers as obsolete. Just as mothers are important teachers in a family unit, so are fathers. Just as mothers are important nurturers in a family unit, so are fathers. Just as mothers are important role models in a family unit, so are fathers. We are no more ATMs than mothers are milk bottles. In my opinion, it should not be the goal to avoid a woman who wants a man who can provide, it should be the goal to find one who respects you and your role as you respect her and her role.

As to marrying women in my part of the world, many of them will want to maintain the family for a variety of reasons depending on the culture. Some cultures have far more limited social welfare so single mothers cannot use the state as a surrogate father. Some cultures have significant stigma around divorce. Some cultures maintain a much higher level of respect for the male role in a family than currently found in western countries. Many cultures combine these, and other factors, to produce a society with a far different set of values than the USA. Keep in mind that you'll also be expected to conform to the standards they set for men. These might include things you might not feel comfortable with, but are part of the culture you have to adopt if you wish to have a wife of a particular culture. Respect goes both ways.

Swordfish101101 · 2016-08-14T00:16:23+00:00

The only place left on earth to meet women who don't see you as a sperm donating ATM machine to be used and will extort you is any country where the laws don't let them.

Lethn · 2016-08-13T16:12:13+00:00

It depends on the women, some are just genuinely interested in what you do and some aren't, I don't blame you at all for wanting to keep the gold diggers away and hold onto your wealth.

I guess I have the advantage in this area because not only do I tend to keep anything I earn in places like Bitcoin but people have no fucking clue about what I do unless I spend three hours explaining it to them. That also presents a new problem because people who are actually interested in me immediately glaze over when I even mention it.

Maybe picking up a complicated profession or professions that people can't understand is your best bet :P

Temperfuelmma · 2016-08-14T04:48:31+00:00

Men like hot women and women like rich men.

Anybody that tells you otherwise is simply rationalizing their shortcomings. You will be better off in the long run if you accept this and just man up.

2016-08-13T19:10:25+00:00

Seems like it's impossible to find a woman who cares about you as a human being instead of someone to exploit for economic gain.

What about you? Do you select for women based on more than her hip-to-waist ratio, clear skin, and other health/youth signifiers? Cuz women selecting by a man's ability to provision is the opposite side of the same damn coin. Its how we all fucking evolved, man.

Every woman I meet is motivated by greed

Then I'll tell you the same thing we all tell feminists who say "every man i meet is a jerk". Look at the common denominator; the problem is you.

I wonder if anyone here has had any luck going to a foreign country to meet women

Lol, yeah. That will be very effective at hiding how much wealth you have. "Who me? Oh I'm just on vacation here in <exotic locale>. I was thinking about heading back in 3 or 4 weeks but we'll see. I might stay longer".

Or is there some trick to finding a woman in the USA who's not a materialistic whore?

Maybe dont be such a whiny MGTOW?

DevilishRogue · 2016-08-16T10:37:42+00:00

Prenups get thrown out all the time and aren't worth the paper they are printed on. Women judge men on their status and that means that to some degree all women will look at your wealth as an indicator of your status. That's just how women are and not something to get upset about any more than us judging women for how they look is. Be aware and act accordingly, but bear in mind that a lot of foreign women are far more mercenary than Western women and you won't know whether they've been faking the domesticity until it's too late.

factsmakeyoumad · 2016-08-13T17:57:06+00:00

I did as you suggest and married a girl from Vietnam. I make the vast majority of the money, so I make all the financial decisions. She has a part time job so she can have her own money and we both put 40% of our incomes towards living expenses. House, water, food, communications, energy, etc. I budget well and we have an upper middle class sort of life.

She does the vast majority of the domestic work, and I give her almost all the power to make our house into a home. She does it well. Am very happy, 7/5 with rice, highly recommend.

EarlWaltheof · 2016-08-13T21:57:03+00:00

First don't rely on a prenup. Use the laws of the land. All single guys or guys contemplating marriage should protect their assests in a way that doesn't have to be disclosed to a fiance, and there by get her pissed. Get your assets protected by placing them in a Inter-Vivos Trust. The assets you have in an Inter-Vivos Trust don't legally belong to you, but you maintain full control. They are not subject to probate, and since they don't legally belong to you they are not part of your marital property or accessable by a judge in a divorce trial. Third, don't marry. Not necessarily in that order

fengpi · 2016-08-13T23:28:35+00:00

Whenever I meet a US woman for the first time, I pretend to be poor

They stop talking to me in 15 seconds, guaranteed.

It never fails.

aussietoads · 2016-08-14T06:08:38+00:00

I have (had before I married) the same simple answer to dispose very quickly of such women. When they asked what I did for a living I replied 'As little as I can get away with'. Those who wanted ambition and money in a man disappeared like a rocket on the 4th of July. Those who stayed were curious. The most curious has been my loving wife for 37 years.

2016-08-13T18:54:33+00:00

why do you hate women for sizing you up based on how much money you have? you size her up based on how she looks. the difference is, you can see what you get, she has to probe for it. this is how it has always been for thousands of years, it's just a problem now because women pretend like they're equal to men so the shit gets annoying. too bad none of this radical feminist bullshit will change the mating game because the mating game is primal and emotional. if you want a high quality girl, you need to have money. so there's no need to hide your wealth. if a girl is a gold digger, you can tell right away regardless of whether she knows you're rich or not. if you hide your wealth and it turns her off, what do you get? your wealth is part of what defines you as a man.

how do you tell if a woman is a gold digger? the bitch is extremely made up, wears a lot of jewelry, dresses up most of the time, has expensive accessories even though she's not rich herself, always talking about expensive shit(baiting you into buying it) etc. just like how when a loved one begs you for money they don't ask for it, they can't stop talking about how they have money troubles, a woman will keep talking about expensive stuff but not say "buy it for me." unless a woman is extremely conniving, she's not going to be able to hide those tendencies from you for too long. basically it's the famous girls you see on instagram. there is no way any of those young girls are rich enough no their own to live like that.

here's something you need to know about women. EVERY woman cares about a man's wealth. whether she's greedy or not, it's part of what defines a man's value. these days women are giving their pussies away so easily. so i don't see what the problem is. it's not like you're going to marry them right away. just fuck them and have fun. their true personality will reveal itself in no time. only a sociopath could hide their real self for years. what kind of idiot marries a women before living together at least 2 years anyway? i dont see how you could ever lose.

Saintmyname · 2016-08-13T17:36:40+00:00

It's always been this way.

feedmecarrots · 2016-08-13T21:39:50+00:00

Women used to be more subtle. Not any more. You would think that all she would need to determine is that she would be confortable. Naybe it is the compulsion to go shopping at the mall. If you do go overseas, be careful. Deal with agencies that know their clients and, don't send a bunch of letters.

2016-08-14T01:03:07+00:00

Asking what job someone has does more than tell them how much money you make. It can bring insight into your talents, education, level of work experience (commitment), and what kind of life choices you've made. I don't think it's a red flag at all.

DarylDixonK · 2016-08-15T01:05:13+00:00

those bitches are amoral AF. Feel for you Bro.

Title	Tired of being economically sized up by women
Author	TigPlaze
Upvotes	58
Comments	48
Date	August 13, 2016 3:44 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4xjl2r/tired_of_being_economically_sized_up_by_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/tired-of-being-economically-sized-up-by-women.943779 https://theredarchive.com/post/943779