I could write a whole book on this; mens rights, and toxic masculinity. But one thing that I do not understand, is the perception to many women I try and talk to (I don’t force these topics, this just happens when they come up) that I’m against women’s rights, and “can not say this because I’ve never felt true oppression”. I’m not even saying oppression here. What I’m saying, is that I think rights should be equal across the board. Women’s rights does good things. BLM does good things. Many movements do good things, but supporting mens rights does not make me a fascist conservative. I look at many of the situations that have happened to me, and close friends of mine, and if you were to flip the genders, people would be in jail. For example, I, not my friend have been physically tied down, and raped. I mean I’m 6’5”, 200 something pounds. I do not need to be physically scared of that. But things that have happened to me is mentally manipulated into sex among other things. Said “no I don’t want that” for them to be like “it’s ok it’s ok”, or a girl berating me to her friends that I wouldn’t fuck her, so I gave in to things out of guilt. Or after things fall off with that person, and I am perceived as the bad guy because I could not live up to her sexual needs, and lose many friends over it. This is happening to a close friend of mine, and he has failed to see it. Everyone laughs when he tells people “I don’t wanna fuck her but she makes me”. It’s funny, because he’s a guy. But it’s not funny. It can fuck you up. For 5 years I could not even think of having sex, and now, I still have a bad relationship with sex because I fear that something bad will come of it; that I’ll become a bad guy because of it, or like I am a villain when I don’t want to have sex (god bless my girlfriend for being great with this). But I am normally laughed at for this. It is not taken seriously. My friend, does not take me seriously, yet is miserable in his situation. He won’t get out of it, because he’s been manipulated to think it’s ok (he now even knows it’s not ok but doesn’t know what to do).

And there is toxic masculinity. These issues come up, and I’ve heard girls tell guys to “man up and fuck me”. Or when a guy comes out with these sort of issues, they are laughed at because “you’re a guy, you liked it”. Or when a man’s mental health is in shambles and they are told to “toughen up” everyday, until one day they kill themselves. In October 5 people. 5 peers of mine, ranging from kids I coach, to a second father though out childhood of mine took their own lives. In one month. They cried for help, but we didn’t hear them because “they will tough it out”. I watched a man drink himself away, depressed, drunken and dying. Everyone saw he needed help, but no one helped him. He died in October too. What I want, is not to abolish women’s rights, I think they are meaningful. What I want is to be treated the same, and the mental (and physical) wellbeing of men to be treated the same as our female or non-binary peers. I know what the stats say. I know these sexual abuse cases are less common. But they do happen, and but they are not treated the same.

We can be hurt too. We can be mentally hurt and scarred, but no one likes to recognize that.