Cases like the one discussed in this submission pose a blatant ethical dilemma between the privacy of the shown victims and the future victims whose victimization could have been prevented had more people known about it. With videos like that removed, valuable evidence in the fight against it is lost and it becomes easier for others to stay in denial about the gruesome reality of men around the world every day. Always keep that in mind before reporting the content and consider proactively collecting and preserving evidence as others reading this might have an incentive to hide stories like this from the public completely. Even though there are a ton of subreddits with up to millions of subscribers sharing footage of violence and abusive behaviors without much regard for the victims, we should do better - whenever possible, make use of ways to censor identifying information like faces in order to protect the victims as much as possible. Unfortunately, the users sharing this video did not. Especially in cases like this, where it has been posted to numerous social networks, featueed in gifs and gathered over 1.5 million views on one of its uploads alone (and hundreds of thousands on the gifs), just undoing this is unfortunately impossible.
It is irresponsible to only ever act once the damage is done and prevention will need people to know what it is that needs to be prevented. That is the intention of this post.
Also keep in mind that harassment of any of the involved parties will result in negative attitudes towards the sub and its cause. Please stay civil at all times.
Some of you may know the story I "made up" in this post. But what if... it actually wasn't?
What if it was actually real and was posted to numerous subreddits already?
What if it has gathered millions of views with positive like/dislike ratios?
And what if, despite it being anything but hidden, nobody even noticed?
Today, things will change and the video will hopefully get the reputation it deserves.
First, I will provide you with links to the posts - one of which still features a link to the whole video. Some of the other posts also featured links in the comments, but some are not working anymore. For those who feel uncomfortable watching it or do not understand what is wrong with it, I will give a description of what happens in the video and why it is problematic.
The gif posts (unlike the video posts and comments) usually didn't feature the problematic parts and despite them being featured in comments, I do not judge the ones who upvoted the gifs. I also disagree that the possibility of things being taken out of context is enough to call for a change on how porn is shared and consumed - the problem is not porn, it is the ones who made the video, shared the video and then gave it a wider audience by removing context. Often times, these steps happend way before it reached you. There is no reason to be paranoid about consuming such content and this explicitly applies to all content that may have been done while I myself was unconscious. I blame the ones who did it and I support the ones who merely accidentally consumed it.
Before letting you off on it: It features sexual violence, physical violence, body shaming and public humiliation by both the rapist and the rest of the group that helped in the assault and cheered her on.
From what I know, the victim is on someone else's party and got hammered. There appears to have been plans for something sexual, yet it all went out of hand in practically every way - starting with him getting as hammered as he was as well as the whole group hyping each other up - resulting in the assault and bullying of a man that got filmed, later uploaded and exposed to millions of views on the internet.
The - now restricted - instance of it linked in the comments of this post got 1.600.000+ views, for example: https://np.reddit.com/r/SexInFrontOfOthers/comments/bvb5ox/getting_dared_to_fuck_a_guy_on_a_party/
I'll also tell you that we now reached a point where you will probably not believe me without seeing it. It almost reads like some cruelty / humiliation fetishist's wet dream - but it is, unfortunately, real and I will address later on why kinks would not be a valid justification for the existence of this video and the things done in it. Short version: He was not capable of properly evaluating risk and safety anymore and thus couldn't have used safewords properly even if they would have existed. Violent and CNC scenes are not what you play when the submissive is drugged to the point that they can barely speak nor move anymore and, despite his already impaired state, gets peer pressured by like 10 people around him who are a bit too excited to see him get beaten up.
Last, but not least: the quality of the video is horrible. If I missed something, let me know.
Here are some examples of posts on it:
But there are many more, with it also being suggested to others in comments.
This one still contains a working link to the full video:
The video begins with the victim standing in front of a girl. We can see multiple other dudes sitting around them at the walls - the victim and the girl are in the middle.
One boy tells the girl: "Slap him in the face! Slap the shit out of him!".
The girl answers inaudibly and one of the boys stands up, goes to the back of the victim and kicks away his legs so he falls on his back. The girl and boys laugh as the victim is laying flat on his back.
The girl walks up to him, rubbing her hands, and sits on his crotch. She leans foward as, simultaneously with someone encouraging her again: "Slap him!", she gives him a hard slap to the face. She and the boys around the victim burst out in laughter, with her clapping at what she just did. While she still enjoys herself, multiple of the boys shout: "Do it again! Do it again!".
Whilst still in laughter, she appears to have second thoughts - to which one of the boys says: "He's hammered, he can't feel shit!".
As she is still waiting, the victim points to the one saying that he is hammered, before drunkenly saying "I'm hammered as fuck!". He is beyond the point of enganging in meaningful conversations and they knew he was. Unfortunately, this also raises the issue that it is unclear whether the tone of his voice during future statements is caused by intoxification, crying or distress.
That answer however, was apparently interpreted as consent by the girl, who did not feel bad enough to not follow up with a second firm slap.
The boys cheer, as one says: "keep going, keep going!". She does not need more encouragement and follows with a third slap.
I want to quickly mention that the victim doesn't really react to any of it - considering the situation, however, it would've surprised me if he did.
Now the cameraman tells the girl to "take his shirt off" - met with other boys agreeing.
The victim tries to take his shirt off himself but is obviously too intoxicated to succeed. The boys burst into laughter as the girl stands up - now standing above the victim - and pulls his shirt off before twisting the victim's nipples to the delight of the boys and pain of the victim.
She stops, but goes in again - this time doing it harder as the victim screams and both the girl and the boys laugh.
One of the boys says: "keep fucking [his?] shit up!", to which she asks: "where?" and he answers "anywhere!". The cameraman seems to believe the victim would be getting hard and points it out, though I doubt it given what it looked like when he is stripped later. She answers with a hard slap on the side of the victims abdomen.
Please be aware that, when he has to be physically thrown on his back, helped to take his shirt off and when implicitly asked to reaffirm his consent (if there ever was any) by the girls short period of doubt, he only makes it to "I'm hammered as fuck" whilst it is the bystanders who make the calls on what is done, then it becomes less and less relevant if he is generally a submissive and into this. In his state, he couldn't even reasonably use a safeword or safesigns if there were any, has a highly impaired perception and risk tolerance and she has obviously zero experience with him as a sub (if he even is). Her being lost on how far to go and what techniques to use makes it unlikely that there were any pre-negotiations to determine no-go's/limits and so on. And if all of that still does not convince you, we will later see that he has no way out, as he will unsuccessfully try to leave.
The girl appears a bit helpless on how to progress, not wanting to go all the way yet, so the boys say something along the lines of "he can take it / he has taken a beating before", which is now met with a fist punch to the victims abdominal area. She is not trying to kill him, but not going light either.
The victim now moves his arms into a more defensive position, to which the girl and boys tell him: "move your hands" before she delivers another fist punch. The girl and boys laugh as she points out the mark she left on him and sits on the victim's crotch again, now continuing with a series of 8 consecutive fist punches (not all of them fully connected though) to the victim's chest.
Now the boys tell her to "take his pants off", which she does.
As the victim is now laying in boxers, the first boys start mocking him for his alleged lack of bulge - one saying: "look at that thing!", before groping/tapping the victim's crotch, who now tries to shove the boys hand away as the girl says "ewww!".
The victim says "aw shit dude...", sounding like he is crying, though it might just be his impaired speech.
Next, the girl pulls the victim's boxers down - and I guess that dude is within the range of normal. Dicks can be supported by scrotal skin (which can make up a significant amount of the penile underside - especially in patients who had penoscrotal fusions), keeping them from hanging down and making them appear much smaller than they are - yet we will later see that he will grow quite a bit as well and is not actually small, just proving once again why being statistically average does not make these fears less valid. This stuff does happen.
The room bursts into laughter. So much so, that the girl didn't even finish pulling the boxers off and just let herself fall on the floor laughing at the victim.
The cameraman mocks the victim, saying: "haha, what a baby dick, holy shit... aw man... this is good... [laughs]".
The girl asks for the condom and tries to put it on the victim's semi-erect dick before beginning to perform oral on him. We can now see that multiple other boys were / are filming the ordeal on their phones as well. After she managed to get him hard, one boy admitted: "he is a grower, not a shower" - though they will continue to mock him - and she starts undressing.
One of the boys asks the girl "are you from the north or south?" to which the victim accidently answers - which makes me question how much they even know each other (he is intoxicated, so it might just be that). The boy meant the girl though, so she answers "neither". I have a feeling she might not really be part of the group.
Now she does oral again and there are some comments which I can't really decipher. After that, one boy tells the victim: "you"ll become a man now" to which another says: "not yet". The victim will later claim it to not be his first time and it appears as though they use it to mock him for his allegedly bad performance (i.e. it is so bad, you have clearly never done it). Cameraman follows with more comments on what he considers a "baby dick". Don't know what's up with him.
Some boys apparently still want to see him slapped, though the girl continues with interrupted sequences of oral.
After that, she slowly sits on his dick - and starts to laugh and make a show of her disappointment, thereby making the boys laugh as she says "I've had bigger...". One says "and you've had smaller" - to which she says "uh... yes" and the boy answers "ah - well, there you go...". She then manages to make him fall out immediately, saying "see? Aand he's fallen out...", which is met with laughter.
One boy says: "come on [name], keep it hard...".
He is made fun of, humiliated and degraded in every way, filmed, hammered beyond clear and coherent speech and physically attacked for the entertainment of the group... What are you talking about?
More comments are made, the girl makes it a point to show how boring this is to her....
In response to the girl's displayal of bordom, the victim manages some hip movement and soon the boys call for them to do doggy, which is obviously doomed to fail, but there isn't anything the victim can do, really.
The boys, still mocking and laughing, continue with comments like "come on, little [nickname]" and so on. He tries, though now the girl becomes upset, angrily turning back to the victim and condescendingly saying: "it's still fucking... [soft]", which is again met with laughter by herself and the room.
They all joke about his lack of hardness and the victim says: "I've been drinking too much". It seems as though he tries his best to laugh with the group but looks uncomfortable at the same time.
The comments on him having to get it hard continue and everyone is making jokes followed by bursts of laughter as it looks and sounds like the victim is actually crying now (could be wrong), though trying his best to kind of laugh with the group to buffer the impact. If I hear it correctly, and I doubt it on this statement as it is extremely unclear due to the bad quality, one boy comments on it with: "[...] you're making him depressed, look!", which makes the group laugh. Could be incorrect though.
The boys call "tag out" and the victim can barely keep himself from falling over without being able to stabilize himself on the girl anymore as she is now laying on her side with her feet toward the victim, who appears anything but well as he now sits there. After laying for a few seconds, the girl, apparently very upset, abruptly kicks into the upper abdomen / lower chest of the victim with quite some force, sending him backwards to the laughter of the room.
The victim is visibly in pain and begins to move away. The girl immediately and angrily shouts at him: "Why are you backing up?!", the victim asks: "what?" to which the girl repeats her question. She lays on her back and puts one leg on each side of the victim, basically trapping him. His answer is mostly gibberish - I guess he is confused on what they want from him. As she pushes her pussy toward him, he again attempts to comply and put it in - though still soft for obvious reasons. As she is laying on her back and thus forcing him on top, he proves himself practically incapable of even stabilizing his weight above her and as he struggles to get his dick closer to her pussy, she says "awwwwkkwaaarrrdd" in an annoyed / bored voice...
One boy says: "first time you had sex and you..." to which the victim says: "it's not the first time!" and other boys say: "it definitely looks like it though".
She again displays how bored she is and he lacks the coordination to put it back in her. Now he apparently calls her a bitch, half crawls and half falls closer to her face (he is not too capable of moving properly) and tells her to "suck it" - whilst she is still upset that he allegedly called her a bitch (not clearly audible if he did). Unlike her, he does not resort to any violence, intimidation or force though. She refuses to suck him, again using it to degrade him and his "performance" (something along the lines of: she does not suck him because "whenever he enters he'll go soft immediatly anyway") as she is jerking him. After that, the video ends prematurely.
I guess it should have become clear what the issues are - even in the hypothetical case that this is a failed attempt at kink play.
Whilst it is unfortunate how people openly share and circulate videos like this - apparently not getting what's wrong with it - it at least exposes the fact that stuff like this happens. After all, only combating the videos of it is not enough.
Another important thing to note is how, despite the comparatively big audience at the party, there was zero resistance to it - quite the opposite in fact, as almost all engaged at some point.
Let's hope that male consent, safety and wellbeing will one day become things of value both men and women combat the misandry society taught them.