Whenever my mom is angry at me or my dad she makes very crude remarkes.

Xaviarsly · 2021-11-06T10:15:36+00:00

My mother and step mom did this too and they both still can't figure out why I refuse to talk to them.

To put it simple the two of them lack critical thinking skills.

PrioriBoston · 2021-11-06T10:16:50+00:00

Those comments are extremely harmful to children or anyone for that matter.

It's usually reflective of the person saying it, especially if said to children. Too many people think words are not harmful especially if the offender is use to saying it and the recipient is use to hearing it.

If I were you I'd speak to your mum calmly and tell her that you do not think that her comments are resonable and it affects the whole household.

She may need to see a therapist to deal with her emotions. I mean this in the nicest possible way.

dointhalaundry · 2021-11-06T11:30:33+00:00

I'm sorry to hear that your mother psychologically abuses you.

ob_mon · 2021-11-06T11:23:06+00:00

The sad thing is that you are not unique.... It's a pandemic.

makosh22 · 2021-11-06T14:01:31+00:00

It's not normal and offensive. And if you speak back to such ppl they will be extremely offended and calls you abusive bastard. And i really don't know what can be advised here - if only leave the house and live on your own as soon as you can.

CyclopeWarrior · 2021-11-06T12:22:55+00:00

Same here, but after a couple of decades you learn to see it for what it is. Female whining, she thinks that because she feels bad she gets a pass to say whatever she wants. Let me guess here and bet she doesn't let you complain in any way about her behavior or other women?

Grown up children behaviour, and it will stay like that cause old habits don't die when there's no one to challenge them.

Lucretius · 2021-11-06T14:01:46+00:00

Some people act out, not because they are trying to achieve anything, but because they need to vent and feel heard. There are guys like this too. In general, the strategically right move in such cases is to not engage. Logic, appeals to facts, or presenting a mirror of the complainers behavior back to the complainer just provide a target for more escalated complaining.

You might confront her when she's NOT angry, depending upon a lot of tactical details: How old are you? Do you still live with her? Depend on her for tuition/expenses? Have/want an otherwise good relationship with her? Participation and attitudes of others in the family? It's always risky to confront family members about their own bad behavior and attitudes, so I recommend distancing yourself from the problem instead.

DIES-_-IRAE · 2021-11-06T16:15:40+00:00

It’s a petty thing, and it’s not very important

But it's more than just a petty thing isn't it? You are important and should not be a verbal punching bag for one of your parents.

It’s not something that I really let affect me

Brother, it obviously is affecting you. How could it not? It's frustrating ME and I'm not even in your situation. There's not many things worse than being bullied like that (and by your own mother no less) and never being able to defend yourself.

I wish I had advice to give you, but nothing I have to say would help. All I can really do is hope you endure and get some closure for it as an adult.

Stay strong, brother.

Dunkopa · 2021-11-06T12:04:49+00:00

The thing with petty things is that when they happen so much and frequently, they stop being petty.

mikesteane · 2021-11-06T12:35:33+00:00

You need to laugh at her.

Melohdy · 2021-11-06T15:42:47+00:00

One day, women will learn to keep their gobs shut before a man realizes his place and shuts it for her.

adam-l · 2021-11-06T18:03:56+00:00

because of how much I look up to my mom.

So you know what's at the root of your problem. It's a standard problem of young men, and also a standard problem of most grown up men.

The rhetoric of "mother's love" is too strong in society, so most boys can't reach the realization that it's normal for mothers to betray their sons for their own personal benefit - psychological, as in externalizing aggression, or sexual, as when advancing the female sexual strategy at the cost of their sons' male one.

rabel111 · 2021-11-06T23:58:18+00:00

This is the casual misandry that boys and men are exposed to over their life times. Callous, demeaning and sexist.

UnconventionalXY · 2021-11-06T10:49:46+00:00

What anyone says to us is actually a reflection of them, not us personally: use it to gain a better insight into the other person.

In a household of men, perhaps your Mother sometimes feels overwhelmed and her female identity challenged or under threat.

Ok_Research219 · 2021-11-06T11:02:37+00:00

Quick way for any come back that brings women down to reality, truth. It always seems to bring them down to tears. Which there’s nothing wrong with it. There’s enough coddling as it is.

Interesting-Look-873 · 2021-11-06T12:48:07+00:00

It is not normal the women in my family in general don’t make remarks or generalised statements about anyone men or women and if someone does make such remarks they get called out best thing u can do is point out their hypocrisy it’s takes time but it can be done

Dwoodward85 · 2021-11-06T13:20:58+00:00

If you've had to listen to your whole life then I'm sorry and you might not realise it but it may have had an affect on you. I've had worse thrown at me from family and friends for reasons that they claim "pisses them off" I've been called every four letter word you could imagine, I've been called useless, unlovable. I've had birthdays completely missed or not meant anything to family. My parents are old and disabled and miserable. I made the choice to ignore their shitty comments and just try to live my life.

I've reached the point of not really spending much time with them or actually caring much as to what they think. Some people just like to crap on others to make themselves feel better.

desi76 · 2021-11-06T14:27:43+00:00

The simplest solution is to sit down with your mother and let her know how her comments affect you and kindly ask her to stop because if the role was reversed and her Dad lived in a household full of females and he made those kind of comments she (and her daughters) would feel the same as you do.

Maths_Hurt · 2021-11-06T22:51:21+00:00

Thats terrible that your mom doesn't see or understand how this is affecting you mentally. Whenever my mom would make sexist comments to me, I'd just make a short comment on how narrow minded she is. If she spoke back, I'd just ignore her and let her ramble on.

The more I kept doing this, the less she would make those type of comments and this made our relationship better and bearable, everytime she'd give me another pieace of her mind. I think it also made her realize that I'm an adult now (F 23). I think keep nagging your parents but make sure you don't force your ideas on them. Just let them understand that the shit that they say actually hurts you. I'm not claiming that this would work 100% though.

idontneedausername89 · 2021-11-06T23:06:55+00:00

Your mother is a cunt.

Questi0nRea1ity · 2021-11-07T01:43:48+00:00

Bark at her. Its being very basic, but it puts things in context

M4String · 2021-11-06T14:06:14+00:00

You say "Have you tried not being a sexist cunt? Maybe you should give it a try!"

pennywise1235 · 2021-11-06T12:25:10+00:00

I’d it’s important enough to mention on social media, then it’s something worth discussing with someone of consequence in real life. I’d suggest a mental health counselor or your father. Doesn’t sound like your mother is open to hearing how she makes you feel with those comments, but it’s worth a shot to try.

csgardner · 2021-11-06T18:24:58+00:00

Start making comments like that about women, then when she complains say, "I learned it from watching you, OK?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUXb7do9C-w

Helps if she's seen this ad I guess....

JayMeadows · 2021-11-06T18:32:11+00:00

So... typical woman?

Idk, my mom talks shit too sometimes. I just ignore her. It's a pointless argument. I'll be wrong, no matter how right I am in regards to her.

LittleThinket · 2021-11-06T22:54:41+00:00

You shouldn't fight fire but fire but damn if I were in your shoes I would say "and one day the women in this family will stop their whining and non stop nagging,"

Bara-enthusiast · 2021-11-06T23:15:11+00:00

Make similar remarks about women anyway.

Of she questions it just say you learned from her example

Nevek_Green · 2021-11-07T06:47:15+00:00

No one at my house does this because they know I won't tolerate it. Implement the 180 method on your mother until she publicly apologies each time she wants to pull this.

rahsoft · 2021-11-07T22:09:26+00:00

then simply reply " what is stopping you going through the door and living life on your own?"

its simply immaturity( probably emotional immaturity)

had an ex who used to blame everyone for her failures and never accept responsibility for her own behaviour

Title	Whenever my mom is angry at me or my dad she makes very crude remarkes.
Author	anonymous_636282638
Upvotes	282
Comments	40
Date	November 6, 2021 10:00 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/qnx767/whenever_my_mom_is_angry_at_me_or_my_dad_she/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/whenever-my-mom-is-angry-at-me-or-my-dad-she-makes.1085627 https://theredarchive.com/post/1085627