Feminist Redditor:
In any case, while I work my way through your references; let me ask you something.
What would it take for someone to convince you that you were mistaken? To be honest, I have a high threshold to be convinced that something intuitive and firmly established is wrong. I don’t think it’s unfair for someone with extraordinary claims to need extraordinary evidence.
But what about you? What would convince you? I only ask because I get the sense you cannot be convinced. That you have an emotional attachment to what you’ve claimed. I think it’s an important question to ask oneself about any belief. And I think it’s a good time for you to ask it of yourself.
This is how I see it. Rape, as in forcible rape, is predominately male on female. But the clear cut case of rape by a man with a knife hiding in the bushes is also EXTREMELY rare. (At least in the USA and most other western countries.) However, in academic circles, women advocates have been pushing for looser and looser definitions of rape. Force and the threat of force have been removed from the equation. In fact, #metoo has gone a step further and any kind of AZIZ ANSARI white/red wine malfeasance is still painted with the broad "rape" brush.
My counter point is, and I believe that the CDC NISVS survey backs me up on this, (and possibly a few other small surveys,) if you remove force or threat of force from the equation, women violate consent approximately as often as men.
So I think what has happened, is that in their anti-rape advocacy, feminists have been "hoisted by their own petard." If we define rape as any violation of consent in a sexual context, you will find, (if you bother to look, ) that women violate consent quite often. Nearly as often, or possibly even more than, men.
This may be anecdotal, but many many men have had the experience of being groped or grinded upon by a very drunk woman. While the men may even find the experience pleasurable, that alone does not make it consensual.
There is a systemic cultural bias at work. Men can't be raped. Think about that. Female perpetration of sexual assault is not considered rape in many jurisdictions. Many women, feminists even, either consciously or unconsciously believe that an erection EQUALS consent.
Rape is where the hyperagency of men crosses the hypoagency of women. The classic example is the two awkward, virgin college freshmen who get drunk together, lose their inhibitions, and end up having sex. The man, (or boy,) is seen as having agency, of being absolutely responsible for his sexuality and held to account. The woman, (or girl,) is seen as succumbing to social pressure, of having no sexual agency, and there are underlying cultural assumptions that women don't even like sex.
So in the situation of the two drunk freshmen, it is the boy who is the rapist and the girl who is raped. That is, if the girl chooses to define it that way. If she decides she enjoyed the experience, they will likely become a couple and date for an extended period. If she decides the experience was unpleasant or shameful or regretful, she may call it rape and get him kicked off campus permanently with very little due process and no cross examination. In the current meta she has all the power. Nobody believes the boy if he cries rape because it contradicts the cultural stereotype. Neither is the boy culturally programmed to expect to be raped.
One example of a boy accusing a girl of sexual assault and having it turned around on him: https://528eb445-a8da-4017-b16c-84de0c71c3f0.filesusr.com/ugd/ea7b71_16c1692eab8844218afdb2b419622827.pdf
IF the boy even understands that A.) It is possible for him to be raped. B.) His erection doesn't imply consent, and that just because he enjoyed the sex doesn't mean that it was consensual, he still has a million cultural barriers to telling his friends that he was raped, let alone an authority figure or the police.
In the current meta, women have all the power to define consent, and men have none. And all I am trying to say is that women can set the line of consent as strict or as loose as they want. BUT THEY HAVE TO FOLLOW THEIR OWN RULES.
In my experience, women are often blind to their own violations of consent. IF there is an epidemic of unreported sexual assault, as feminists claim, it is men who are the most likely to not report their female perpetrators.
We know that men under report and we know that there is systemic cultural bias and we know that to this day in many modern western countries, women cannot rape in the legal sense.
And then you want to show me a bunch of statistics about rape from surveys created by feminist anti-rape advocates to prove that men are rarely raped by women? When, in many of these surveys, men are not even included or asked about their experience, do you see how the systemic cultural bias is self perpetuating?
Feminist Redditor:
You didn’t answer my question. [What would convince you?]
1.) If you could show me that all my research is wrong or fallacious, then I might be convinced.
2.) If you could prove to me that there isn't decades of discrimination and prejudice against men in rape advocacy research, I might be convinced.
3.) If you can tell me why for years feminists have deliberately used bad, misleading statistics (one in 4 women on campus will be SEXUALLY ASSAULTED, only 2 % of rape accusations are false,) to back up their claims of a rape culture, then I might be convinced.
4.) If you can tell me why feminists have denied and covered up multiple studies going back to the 1970s that domestic violence is a two way street between men and women and not a violence against women issue, then maybe I would reconsider my position. (Including the Harvard study that shows 70% of non reciprocal domestic violence is female on male.)
5.) If you can show me evidence that there isn't widespread systemic discrimination in our court system against men, and widespread systemic favor given to women, then maybe I would change my mind.
But truth is a two-edged sword... What would I have to do to convince you that you are wrong?
6.) If you can prove that to me that women don't have more rights, (and fewer responsibilities,) than men throughout Western civilization, maybe I'd change my mind.
The extraordinary claim here is that all throughout human history a patriarchy has existed that has favored all men over all women- what could possibly change your mind that this radical, unfalsifiable hypothesis- Patriarchy theory- is not true?
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Did that feminsit redditor ever reply?
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