Women’s bonding to men, as well as women’s femininity and heterosexuality, are paradoxical responses to men’s violence against women. Like captors who need to kill or at least wound a few hostages in order to get what they want, men terrorize women in order to get what they want: women’s continued sexual, emotional, domestic, and reproductive services. Like hostages who work to placate their captors lest those captors kill them, women work to please men, and from this response springs women’s femininity.


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