I've been in a psychological state for years. I know why I am the way I am. I'm not homosexual. I know why I feel homosexuality. I went through deep disappointments with girls and I was too emotional in the first place to even have a relationship. I always got rejected and I understand why. I fell in love easily and I overstepped some steps to make someone like me. I focused too much on myself liking them that I forgot that I have to approach them first and get to know them. That seems so simple and obvious now but back then I just didn't care. I was too selfish to focus on that part too impertient to even try. It always seems like it's my fault but I always don't accept that. It can't be my fault. Why do I count girls accountable for the first place and why do I hold ALL girls accountable. Its just so stupid but I keep subconsciously doing it no matter if I know its wrong. I hate them. I hate them so much. Now that I don't have any feelings towards them all I have is needs. I'm too impertient to even try to talk to them. I get bored. I don't want to know anything about your miserable life you little bitch. All I want is to fuck you and get done with it. I see it as I'm doing them a favor by letting me even talk to them. Invite them over? You must be honored. Most girls aren't and it makes me sick how selfish they can be. I know that sounds ironic but I'm so mad I can't even think straight. Literally straight. I find homosexuality as something easy to manage. They seem all so miserable and fragile. Kind of like me but more. Easy way to have pleasure and be done with it. But that desire itself is ironic. You become what you hate. I hate women so I feel like I'm becoming one slowly. I hate every single thing about women. From the way they talk to the way they act to the way they dress to they way the see themselves. All that for something I did wrong in the past. For something that could be avoided. This is something I don't really deserve. Maybe that statement got too far. Im trying to find fairness in something that cant be resolved as it already passed. Nobody knows about what I went through why do they deserve to be mistreated? Even if they did know some would give out their body to me not all. Even if it is my fault. Out of pety.... Girls aren't that bad after all :D