They say the guy MUST provide for the family - yes he does

But they don't talk about this:

If a woman consistently refuses to spend the night with her husband in his bed, then she forfeits her rights to maintenance and also her share of her husband’s time [in the case of a plural marriage], because maintenance is a right given in return for intimacy. Such a woman is considered to be naashiz (defiant, rebellious, disobedient). Al-Bahooti said: Nushooz (defiance, rebellion) means when a wife does not let her husband be intimate with her or she responds to him unwillingly as if she finds it too much when he calls her, and she only responds reluctantly. 

In the phrase “if a man calls his wife to his bed,” the word “bed” is obviously a metaphor for intercourse. Metaphors are used in the Qur’aan and Sunnah to refer to things about which people usually feel shy. Does this apply only to the nighttime, or does it include daytime too?

The answer may be found in a hadeeth narrated by Muslim: “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, there is no man who calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, but the One Who is above the heavens [i.e. Allaah] will be angry with her, until he (her husband) is pleased with her.” Ibn Khuzaymah and Ibn Hibbaan report a hadeeth narrated by Jaabir:

“There are three whose prayers will not be accepted and none of whose good deeds will ascend to heaven: a runaway slave, until he returns to his master; a drunken man until he becomes sober; and a woman with whom her husband is angry, until he is pleased with her.” These are general terms, which include both night and day.

Also they NEVER talk about this:

Muhammad SAW said "If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands. By the One in Whose hand is the soul of Muhammad, no woman can fulfil her duty towards Allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband. If he asks her (for intimacy) even if she is on her camel saddle, she should not refuse.”