The article below discusses two long term relationship studies (I also included links to the published research it's based on that I could find, Gottman has four decades of research on the subject). They found kindness and generosity were key in lasting relationships, and aggression, hostility, and selfishness were common in relationships that didn't last. The way many red pillers describe relationships fits more with the context of the latter, i.e. have perspectives that based on this actual research will result in failed long term relationships. The research findings are pretty much the opposite of what red pillers advocate, to not be kind - "Being mean is the death knell of relationships." Unlike the red pill belief that all humans are manipulative and self focused, it appears that most people in successful long term relationships are kind people, that really care about the needs of their partner, i.e. are not self centered. Being self centered is toxic to long term relationships.
So, if you are red pill and you care about long term relationships what are you thoughts on the article and the research results it discusses? Do you advocate frequently meeting the bids/needs of your partner, i.e. kindness? What's the difference between a bid and a shit test, in your mind? What's the difference between acting calm (when inside you are not) and holding frame? Do you agree it's bad to be self centered if you want to maintain a relationship?
http://www.businessinsider.com/lasting-relationships-rely-on-2-traits-2014-11
full text of referenced studies -
http://www.johngottman.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Long-term-marriage-age-gender-and-satisfaction..pdf
http://www.johngottman.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/Emotional-behavior-in-long-term-marriage.pdf
http://www.johngottman.net/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/The-influence-of-age-and-gender-on-affect-physiology-and-their-interrelations-A-study-of-long-term-marriages.pdf
http://pni.osumc.edu/KG%20Publications%20(pdf)/109.pdf
[–]purplethrows18 points19 points20 points (103 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that14 points15 points16 points (50 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points8 points8 points | Copy Link
[–]dejourPurple Pill Man2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that1 point2 points3 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]ExpendableOneNeither0 points1 point2 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ExpendableOneNeither0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that-1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]ExpendableOneNeither2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar4 points5 points6 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that7 points8 points9 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar2 points3 points4 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]autowikibot2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that2 points3 points4 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points3 points3 points | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points0 points0 points | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points0 points0 points | Copy Link
[–]fiat_lux_Red Pillar1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]RedPillDadRustled Jimmies0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]purplethrows4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]We_Are_LegionAutumn Red2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Pointless_Endeavors0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that-5 points-4 points-3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirNemesistitties not tithe0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirNemesistitties not tithe0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXit be like that0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GuildedCasketNot RP, occasional circle jerk participant2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 3 points4 points5 points (50 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 17 points18 points19 points (44 children) | Copy Link
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 4 points5 points6 points (43 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (37 children) | Copy Link
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 1 point2 points3 points (36 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (35 children) | Copy Link
[–]cuittlerಠ_ಠ6 points7 points8 points (34 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (33 children) | Copy Link
[–]cuittlerಠ_ಠ6 points7 points8 points (32 children) | Copy Link
[–]roe_Purple Pill Man0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]roe_Purple Pill Man0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kerberos-4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kerberos-4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Kerberos-1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]justskatedude0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirNemesistitties not tithe1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]roe_Purple Pill Man3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]myfatbrokethewallNon-Red Pill-1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]nomdplumeFormer Alpha0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]myfatbrokethewallNon-Red Pill0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points-2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]taiboworksrational idealism > toxic egoism[S] 2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]dejourPurple Pill Man1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]nomdplumeFormer Alpha0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]dejourPurple Pill Man0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link