The recent post about "nice guys" got me thinking.

This is a question for RP Men, but anyone can answer. I'm interested in all perspectives.

IMHO every guy I've know who has lamented about being "nice" and not getting the lady was also severely lacking in many things that women find attractive.

For example.

I had a friend in college. Super sweet guy... ^such ^a ^woman ^thing ^to ^say!

Asked us ladies why we found Boys A, B, C attractive when Boys X, Y, Z were all nice?

And our answer to him was as blunt as you can get.

Boys A, B, C were all "cute."

Whereas Boys X, Y, Z could be cute if they had put effort into it, but all dressed like and looked like potato sacks because that is what happens when you don't care about those things. They didn't deem those things as important and everyone who did was "superficial" or "shallow."

I also noticed that Boys X, Y, Z assumed that Boys A, B, C were all "assholes." When really, Boys A, B, C were all super chill and sweet (around us ladies at least). Now perhaps they were jerks to the guys. But the assumption that cute guys are jerks to gals is really overblown and not matching up with what really happens.

TRP Men, do you think that certain "nice guys" underestimated the importance of "appearance" and "presence" and used "being nice" as the "bad guy" because it's easier to blame women than it is to "lift" or "groom" or care about style and how you look?

P.S.:

I'm sure there's one nice guy out there who was good looking and still couldn't find a lady friend because he supplicated so hard he scared Jesus off, but honestly that is rare. A woman appreciates your "niceness" when she finds you attractive.

And no. This is not a post telling men to "supplicate." I pray adults know the difference between some niceness and being a pushover. Same for women who are used for being "too nice."