Being a short guy is not the dating handicap its made out to be.

ohheyhi99 · 2022-10-04T01:37:04+00:00

If you have everything else in order, like a strong personality and good looks, height is less important.

Most people don’t have both and many don’t even have one.

So it’s not like short men are doomed, but they have less room to fuck up than other guys do.

Plus, if you’re a young man today, you will probably see a lot of hate for short guys online, and that can hurt a guy’s confidence.

Capable-Resolve-2001 · 2022-10-04T00:47:28+00:00

Younger guys make a big deal about it because the obsession with height, at least to the degree that we see it now, didn't exist 15 years ago. I'm 35, and I've watched height become the feature that it is in real time. When I was in college, I never heard anyone talk about height. Now, that's all they talk about. Men's insecurities here didn't just fall out of the clear blue sky.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-10-04T04:07:52+00:00

Your personal anecdote is not really a very compelling argument. At 5'4 a lot of women will disqualify you solely based on your height.

Personality (insecurity, being an ass) on the other hand is the single biggest handicap for most guys when it comes to dating.

Being an ass is a handicap? Feels like we're living in two different worlds.

JoeRMD77 · 2022-10-04T00:18:14+00:00

Being short is a real handicap if you don't have leverage elsewhere and it gets worse the shorter you get. I know guys that do very well in dating and have/do date beautiful Women while being like 5'5. However they are a combination of Handsome facially, great personality (not necessarily good guys, some are legit thugs, but their personalities sexually excite women), good social skills, and a lot of effort on their part.

I also know guys that are 6'4 with great faces and never had to do 1/1000 the shit the short guys I know have had to do. Or have to put up with. My 5'3 extremely funny extremely social friend who also happened to have a really ugly face could not bust a single move at all. Seen this guy just get straight laughed at. It is what it is.

Also your location and culture you're interacting with matters. A lot.

bison5595 · 2022-10-04T00:15:26+00:00

I’m 6’1 so this isn’t my area, but your personal experience doesn’t mean much. It’s more about the numbers. We don’t know the tactics, your status, financial or ethnicity. We don’t have any receipts, just a random comment on a forum

Liberated_Asexual · 2022-10-04T02:51:41+00:00

Oh look, another boomer telling everyone else that because it wasn't so bad in their generation, you just need to pull yourself up by your boot straps! Might want to brush up on your spelling as well!

Would-Be-Superhero · 2022-10-04T07:55:15+00:00

I see your anecdotal examples and raise you scientific counter-examples: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1avnTEyavg

https://news.yahoo.com/short-kings-rise-grind-study-225908780.html

fizeekfriday · 2022-10-04T00:11:06+00:00

Anecdotes dont mean much. Taller equals better. Just like would you rather be balding or full head of hair. Same thing. Obviously you can make do with what u got if u have other things going on. But the more positive traits you have, the better off you are

prizefighterstudent · 2022-10-04T02:04:15+00:00

older short guy

Yeah, we'll pass on your advice.

The rules of the game have changed, with height becoming a significant factor in the West over the past ten years. Dudes who dated in the 90's and 00's have very little to offer this generation, as can be seen from the plethora of oldheads running the manosphere these days (eg. Richard Cooper). Being short isn't a death sentence, but it certainly is if you're average or ugly -- which most men happen to be.

FjbhBoy · 2022-10-04T02:31:54+00:00

I’m 5’6 and bald and I do fine with dating/sex

HeroinAndHeartbreak · 2022-10-04T00:19:39+00:00

I'm 5'6" and have matched with enough women who have "6ft or taller 😜" in their bio to know that women will not care about height if you're still attractive and charming. Would I have more success if I was 6'2"? Yes. Am I more successful with women than the vast majority of men despite being short? Also yes.

jasonology09 · 2022-10-04T08:14:29+00:00

It only matters when you're talking about avenues like online dating where all intangibles are not accounted for, and thus, are considered equal.

If you ask a hundred women; "All else being equal, would you prefer a guy who's 5'2" or 6'2"? A hundred women (or damn near close to it) will pick the taller guy. You could replace the heights in that scenario with any other tangible. Eg, salary, handsome-ness, fitness, social status, fame, etc. and you'd get the same result. Women have preference for men with better tangible qualities.

But like I always say, dating and attraction have and still do exist outside of the online dating world, where a man's intangibles, like personality, confidence, charisma, humor, etc. So a short guy, while at a disadvantage at the start, still has a good shot in real life if he has good intangibles. The good news is that while most tangibles can't be or are extremely difficult to change, intangible qualities are more flexible and can be improved much more easily.

Is it fair? No. But almost nothing in life is ever fair. That's just the reality of dating and female preference(s). The sooner you get over it, and get to work improving your intangible qualities, the sooner you'll see that there is success to be had out there.

ngofilter · 2022-10-04T05:04:57+00:00

I feel like if you're kind of mid in the looks department but you're 6ft then that does help boosts you. Height does have its advantages in the dating pool but it's not a total handicap if you're a short king. I know plenty of pretty girls who go for short guys. As long as you got the charm/personality/humor or attractive/present yourself nicely, then I think a lot girls won't care too much about the height.

trail22 · 2022-10-04T05:40:58+00:00

I didnt think being short was a big Idea. I figured if I worked hard it woudl all be alright. But when try your best to be the best version of yourself and still fail, you realize that its more about things you cant control then things you can.

The world will show you the truth. I dont know yoru truth but I know mine. and I know I tried harder and longer then you did before you got a first date.

Not that I think people like to believe that there are people who worked harder and are as smart as you but had much worse outcomes.

Decent_Foundation_62 · 2022-10-04T06:43:40+00:00

You can only have so many 'handicaps'

Be short? OK.

Be short, but also poor and fat?

Be short, but also poor, fat, severely depressed and alcoholic?

WideAwake550 · 2022-10-04T23:20:08+00:00

So, in other words, a shorter than average guy has to work harder than an illegal alien from Guatemala just to appeal to the same women that a tall guy can attract by doing the bare minimum?

I already knew this but it ironically proves the point. Short men can do well with women, sometimes extremely well. But they'll never get away with doing the bare minimum to attract women due to how strong the bias is against them in the modern age.

Hefty-Wolverine3675 · 2022-10-04T02:25:21+00:00

You had a point until you mentioned celebrities

Film2021 · 2022-10-04T02:58:20+00:00

Tell yourself whatever you want to make yourself feel better but statistics don’t lie. Women LOVE taller men.

Short men are, on average, very undesirable.

Embarrassed-Tune9038 · 2022-10-04T03:08:45+00:00

Being tall gets you noticed

carlenvirgo · 2022-10-04T00:28:15+00:00

I personally don’t think height matters in guys only to very tall girls. I’m only 5’1 so everyone is taller than me.

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Spiritual_Age_4992 · 2022-10-04T09:49:16+00:00

Anecdotes = bullshit.

Show me some facts & statistics

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-04T14:46:01+00:00

Shorter men often have really remarkably handsome faces. It just depends on what floats an Individual woman’s boat more.

Bruce_Hale · 2022-10-05T16:21:02+00:00

This is the common kind of tomfoolery that we get around here and so this must be repeated: You won't even get past her filter if you're short.

Every time someone talks about personality, etc. it's always pointless because those short men will never get the opportunity to date a woman like that and have her exposed to his wonderful personality.

IcarusKiki · 2022-10-04T03:04:29+00:00

most height queens are fugly little insecure goblins

ComfortableHairy1402 · 2022-10-04T16:25:57+00:00

I'm short (5'5), and only moderately attractive but I take care of myself and I'm comfortable in my own skin. I never had too much trouble dating but I didn't normally use dating apps (ladies tend to filter out shorter men) and I have been turned down by women specifically because I'm short (they would literally say I was really cool but too short) and that's fine becuase people can want what they want.

I love my short Gimli lookin ass and I'm happy with myself because I do what I need to be fulfilled in life. Having that attitude was the best thing that happened to my love life because, regardless of what you hear, women do like guys who are fulfilled with their lives, take care of themselves, and are kind and respectful.

So I agree with OP. Us short guys need to stop listening to all the noise and do what helps us live fulfilled lives because it's generally way more attractive. If a lady doesn't like you romantically because of your height don't worry about it. Eventually some one will see how fulfilled your life is and want to be a part of ruining it. 🙃

abaxeron · 2022-10-04T11:57:30+00:00

I'm fairly tall guy (if I remember right, exactly 6ft in freedom numbers). Around a month ago, I rode an elevator at a workplace with a bunch of women from another department, and a REALLY tall fella, probably a full head taller than me, squeezed himself in right before the doors closed. Two women - probably married, young but adult specialists in their field going to their respective workplaces - looked up at him and started giggling hysterically.

Personality might play a bigger part, but when your sheer physical presence makes women lose control over their faces, it's a pretty nice foot in the door to have.

Your biggest hindrance is your negative attitude and total lack of understanding women.

Just World Fallacy. Positive attitude and significant effort to understand women is a baseline that almost every man starts at. What you see here is mostly men after 10+ years of exposure.

LiftSushiDallas · 2022-10-04T02:25:44+00:00

100% in agreement with this. My man is shorter than me and I also like short men who are confident and funny (in addition to being facially attractive and lifting). Obviously height is something many women care about, but there are a lot of women who DO like shorter men.

pokemin49 · 2022-10-04T02:10:05+00:00

I do believe of all the things the manosphere complains about, height is overrated. I see below average height men with attractive women quite often. I'm talking 5ft7 and up though. Below that and it starts to get dire I'm sure.

I believe race and antisocial personalities are much bigger obstacles than height.

Steakman1 · 2022-10-04T02:20:03+00:00

Like any crutch about yourself it can be made up for in other areas. But if you’re a 2/10 in some aspect then that means you gotta be a 9/10 in another. Which in most cases is much easier said than done whether it be personality, status, or whatever. With height it seems like you’re basically either a 1/10 or 10/10.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-10-04T06:44:59+00:00

I agree with this, I think blaming dating failures on being short is easier than saying you pretty much suck. People don’t take into consideration that your mind plays a big role in everything. Some people are pretty much lost and have a lot of anger/negative mindset. I don’t think anyone would fight to be with someone who’s like that especially when you might affect their lives with that negativity. There are people that care about height, but there are people that care about personality more.

Apprehensive_Cut_146 · 2022-10-04T10:12:26+00:00

Short men are not going to get the most desirable on the market, they might get an average or slightly bellow average woman.

Its ironic, even they have a good face and a good financial situation, being short makes them average.

poppy_blu · 2022-10-04T02:04:03+00:00

They need a crutch.

No one says it isn’t a lot harder for a short man. But they use it as excuse to not even try.

TonytheNetworker · 2022-10-04T03:26:50+00:00

This sounds like a cope. I’ve noticed girls have gotten a lot taller. Most women I see are like 5’6 or 5’7. Unfortunately those girls aren’t checking for guys their own height, they want 4 inches taller at least. Most short girls are demanding tall guys as well. Then, you have girls who will say that they want to wear their heels so they don’t tower over their man. You say personality matters but I disagree. What good is your personality if there’s a 90% chance a girl will reject you simply off your height?

crystal-castles1 · 2022-10-04T06:52:52+00:00

Yeah, the guys here are bitter and lack understanding women... and they go like spreading bullshit around saying that women will only date men who are like super tall, 6 ft. But the truth is,

2022-10-04T01:59:55+00:00

Get called an oompa loompa or something like that enough times for being 5 foot 8, and yes you're convinced it's real. You're anecdotal experience is not the same as everyone else's, but frankly anecdotal experience is useless when it comes to sociological phenomena. You say women don't give a shit about height, I counter with the fact that the average height women filtered for on Bumble when it was an available feature was 6 foot 6. 90% of women are pursuing 6% of men, they think 94% of us our worthless, and in my case it's over something I had no control over.

2022-10-04T09:12:09+00:00

It matters in situations where women can afford to be picky about height. OLD is probably the best example.

2022-10-04T13:40:25+00:00

Matters more or less , Depending on what community you’re dating in

NorthernTaste · 2022-10-04T15:05:34+00:00

It’s a handicap and partial barrier, not a total barrier

foxbirch · 2022-10-04T18:06:08+00:00

Anecdotes.

Too much evidence to the contrary

Antonija_Blagorodna · 2022-10-06T02:46:25+00:00

Survivorship Bias.

Height matters.

Title	Being a short guy is not the dating handicap its made out to be.
Author	LVZpackerd
Upvotes	23
Comments	233
Date	October 4, 2022 12:08 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xuzsig/being_a_short_guy_is_not_the_dating_handicap_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-a-short-guy-is-not-the-dating-handicap-its.1135193 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135193