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Being blatant honest WITH LTR when I'm low/depressed?

July 17, 2019
6 upvotes

M27 here. So, I've never had much success with girls, and in my first ltr at 21 I got cheated. This made me feel much much pain, it was one of the worst moments of my life.

Several years go by, and I find out r/seduction, and start getting good results with girls, and also started expanded friendships. One of the things that struck me the most was about the concept of being honest and vulnerable. This way I would be truthful to myself and would be willing to piss or not be liked by people. The book Models, of Mark Mason helped with this.

After a few months of good results, I found a nice girl, and she had everything I hoped for. I committed to my philosophy, and some times I even cried with her because of my overall stress, as I was finishing college, had problems at work and several other stuff. She was always understanding, and after our talks I would always feel a lot better, since I had someone to talk to. I was happy to be 100% real, even with my shortcomings.

At this stage, I still had high self steem from the results I got with girls, and still bounded a lot with my friends.. After 4 months, I mostly see my GF, and my overall happiness and self steem is low. I think this is happening because she's the only source of validation I have right now, since I stopped seeing friends, stopped working hard in my career, etc. I'm really low, I'm were fighting for ridiculous stuff, mostly because I can't control my shit anymore. Thing that is bothering me the most(which I didn't tell her because would lower my SMV a lot) is when she hang out with friends and I can't go (because of work or other stuff).. I'm afraid she may cheat me. In the beginning of the LTR I didn't care at all, because I was also meeting friends and whatever, I was high smv and I knew it that if she cheated or whatever, I was completly fine as I could get other girls easily.

So, from a purple pill perspective, should I tell her I'm jealous or should I just stop seeing her so much and work on myself? Should I make her commit to not going with friends alone and other beta shit? I don't want to put bullshit stuff into the LTR, and still want to be myself. But the time I told my old LTR that I was jealous, I think she felt how low SMV I was and used this to cheat me. I'm afraid this will happen too, but maybe this girl is special and will help me?

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[–]Maybelowsmvman-repellant21 points22 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You already know what you're doing wrong. OF COURSE, you'd be bloody depressed if you have nothing to do with your life except cling on another human being. GO find your mission, focus on your work, see your friends, make new friends, engage in hobbies, GET OUT THERE MORE.

Don't build resentment. But really, don't tell her this either. Fuck, most people would hate being told not to go out with friends alone. Though of course, if she's seeing male friends one-on-one, then you shouldve made that limit clearer from the start

[–]Cho_Assmilk 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

This bitch knows what's up. Stop being such a little fag OP

[–]ForeverInYou 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You both right, I'm sobbing for nothing.

[–]Cho_AssmilkArrogant RP S.O.B.-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're sobbing cause you're a weak mother fucker. Go over to r/marriedredpill and harden the fuck up

[–]CuriousOptimisticNo Pill8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to work on yourself. You need to go out and see your friends and get your own life without her. She cannot help you with this, no matter how special she is, because this is about YOU.

It isn't about whether you tell her or not, but what you say.

"I'm feeling low, comfort me and stay with me and don't go out with your friends.". Aw hell no.

"I realized I've been feeling low lately because I haven't been seeing my friends as much. So I made plans with Joe and Dan on Tuesday." Cool. The difference is that you have to make it clear that you know what the issue is and are taking steps to take care of yourself.

[–]Orange_PaisleyOrange pill is best pill7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You may have depression. If you have stopped seeing friends, enjoying hobbies, stopped focusing on work - you need to work on this. Meds, counseling, whatever it takes. It is not fair to your girlfriend to make her your only outlet for validation and self esteem. Join a gym or something, talk to a therapist, make some friends. What you are doing is not healthy for anyone and it's your girlfriend's job to support you, not to fix you. Good luck and I hope you find what you need to be happy.

[–]DXBrigade4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pill aren't necessary to answer your question. You just need a life outside your girlfriend. Go find friends and a careeer.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No you shouldn't put limits on her because you're depressed, if you try that you might as well just end it now, it'll be uglier otherwise.

Or you could go to therapy and keep trying with her. Focusing on your shit doesn't mean bailing on your relationship, or it doesn't have to.

[–]praisethesun799Not actually a fag 😉4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Self pity and depression is incredibly unattractive , generally speaking. That's why you should talk to a shrink , because attraction is irrelevant to a therapist, and important to your lover . People in general don't like being seen as a lifeboat

[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

men should only express jealousy when it makes sense. "Im jealous and nervous when you hang out with your friends" is relationship killer stuff. its not hot. its not even sensible

[–]rpsheepdogSuprisingly Reasonable4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think this is happening because she's the only source of validation I have right now

This is your problem. It's not that you shouldn't have a good time with your LTR, but it is extremely draining to handle ones own problems and somebody else's problems at the same time.

should I tell her I'm jealous or should I just stop seeing her so much and work on myself? Should I make her commit to not going with friends alone and other beta shit?

You're going to get varying answers on this.

My persepective: At the end of the day, you shouldn't really be doing any kind of self improvement just to keep her. You do self improvement for you (hence the self part). If you're doing shit for her it's just signing a covert contract and when she doesn't recognize what you're doing its just going to make you more pissed. The thing is, as your life improves you will be better to be around in general.

I wouldn't tell her I was jealous.

[–]wotsittoyou2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

See a shrink. No shit there's reasons why we on the lefty/blue/feelings type side of things tell people that. You can get it all out there, put it all in words, work a few things out without having to clutch at the people round you like you are a drowning man and are going to take them to the bottom with you. You can also preserve that theraputic relationship no matter what happens with your other relationships... so you don't get completely flung back on your arse if the girlfriend decides to call it a day. I'm not saying don't tell her anything about how you feel just jeez, if what you've got is above the paygrade of girlfriend of a mere 4 months who no doubt still wants a bit of fun in he life from her relationship, and above the paygrade of any old friends you decide to recontact, then see a shrink ffs.

[–]wtffellificationWe all love women2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

its good that you are acknowledging your fears and dare to be vulnerable more

but you need to inquire more... what would change if you told her you’re depressed? what would it help with? and most of all, what would be the incentive to tell her this?

because i bet youre telling yourself “i am honest and that’s why i feel the need to tell her”. thats okay but. are you being honest with yourself?

are you genuinely looking for a solution or just someone to support your sense of victimhood?

[–]ForeverInYouPurple Pill Man, leaning to red[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice question. I think you're right, I posted here because I was sad and wanting to vent. It was easier than to act. Thanks, I'm making some changes right now

[–]ScootsScoots 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Its very common for a dude to get a gf then get lazy. It sneaks up on

Get back on course. Work on your career. Start seeing friends.

You're low because you are a man in a state of inaction. We aren't happy sitting on the couch watching reality tv all day like women are. We need clearly set goals to accomplish.

I wouldn't tell your girl you're jealous. I would get un-jealous by fixing my situation.

side note

If you're low because of circumstances that's one thing.

If you think you MIGHT have legititmate depression go talk to a therapist or someone qualified and find out.

[–]ForeverInYouPurple Pill Man, leaning to red[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, nice words that I agree with. Yesterdary I saw a very big friend of mine and it was awesome

[–]sadomasochristnAWALT = Not red pilled4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just search Reddit on this. Even the most liberal blue pills admit this is a recipe for failure. They'll even come up with their own rebranding and reasons why, but the take away is the same.

Suffer in silence.

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[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

lets everyone stop talking about our feelings entirely

[–]Texastentialismshe's got a tattoo and two pet snakes1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

But how will we bond?!

D:

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Didn't you claim empathy was a ploy by communists to make Americans look bad?

Also, weren't you diagnosed with sociopathy?

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Didn't you claim empathy was a ploy by communists to make Americans look bad?

no, i said it was invented by communist/leftist academics to promote communism

Also, weren't you diagnosed with sociopathy?

i never said that, i dont know why xenmas made that up

i do score high on all those tests though. "Sociopathy" is a meaningless matristic-values promoting shaming word that describes a certain personality type

[–]NockerJoeKing Hater1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean no offense but the replies themselves probably tell more than anything I'd respond with.

[–]Atlas_B_Shruggin✡️🐈✡️ the purring jew-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you haven't demonstrated any higher value that would make it possible for you to offend me

[–]WestsideMoonWalkerNot a Negative Creep0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Less feelings, more cats. Cats bring cuddles and joy, and a cultivated mass that makes them snuggly and warm.

[–]ForeverInYouPurple Pill Man, leaning to red[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you all for your comments people. Of course I knew the answer.... Sometimes I need a push, thank you

[–]Xemnas810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This place is awful for depressed men buddy. If you can't separate the personal from the political you're gonna have a hard time...

[–]Barneysparky0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Are you telling me that getting sex didn't end your depression? I think you've latched onto a girl who is also depressed. What happened to her old life?

She's not a bad person, you guys need to learn how to do your own stuff now. If she doesn't have hobbies then she need to get some.

This really isn't abnormal in young couples. I had a 2 year Love In when I got married at 16. For the first year we only left the apartment to score a gram of pot. It happens, but it's not very healthy.

[–]ForeverInYouPurple Pill Man, leaning to red[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She likes me a lot and it's not doing her stuff too much. In part cause she want to be a good girlfriend, but I stimulate her to do her stuff. I'll work on my own time so she can be more free with hers, thanks mate

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Push her away and construct a false reality of anime, videogames, internet “socializing”, mpd tulpa imaginary girlfriend wives. Trust me, its 100% more spiritually fulfilling than trying to be honest and have meaningful relationships with other human beings. Lean into the depression.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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