Being boring, uninteresting, not having a lot of things to talk about, not having hobbies, etc can be a bigger turn off than being ugly.

Tactical_INTJ · 2022-08-18T18:13:45+00:00

When it comes to dating I disagree. Boring good looking people always have other boring people. If you aren't good looking, being interesting and not good looking is gonna result in "Let's just be friends. You're so great, the attraction just isn't there. I don't feel the spark."

chalkandapples · 2022-08-18T17:47:50+00:00

I don't think most people have to work so hard to be interesting, a lot of people really don't do much. Trips, adventures, and cool hobbies are fun to talk about, but is it really that interesting that I visited a waterfall? Or even if I did skydiving. I think most people are interesting solely from the virtue of them living a whole other life than you, and also being interesting isn't really what we eventually fall in love with.

What you need to connect with people are compatibility and time, and although being more interesting gives you more substance and definitely helps, I think most of it is just buying more time and conversation topics with another person. A very extroverted person that can talk for hours can do nothing interesting but still talk long enough and be engaging enough to connect with someone that does a lot of stuff but can't manage to stretch the conversation for that long.

Historical-System972 · 2022-08-18T21:02:59+00:00

If you're attractive, you'll come off as interesting even if you're a complete clod. It's called the halo effect, look it up.

python834 · 2022-08-18T19:13:08+00:00

Lol no.

You can be the most boring person, but if you are hot, none of that shit matters.

Anybody can pickup a new hobby, but not everybody can be hot.

2022-08-18T21:05:34+00:00

You greatly overestimate how much women care about your hobbies or interests

Anykindofland · 2022-08-18T18:04:17+00:00

you are boring

You are boring because you are not hot enough to be interesting

you have no hobbies so you don't have something to talk about yourself.

You don't have hobbies that interest somebody else.

most interesting or rewarding topics to talk about are experiences, like trips with friends, unique experiences like when you visited a waterfall, or you did skidiving, etc.

Because it shows that you have the money to afford to travel and do all those things.

Kronbopulus · 2022-08-18T20:41:37+00:00

Hmm 50 percent correct. Can’t be a weirdo boring shut in BUT… being “ interesting” and charismatic will only get you so far as well. The Asian English foodie guy that threw himself off a building was well known and well liked. He was considered an interesting guy. People had nothing but good to say about him. However the poor guy just wasn’t attractive and was extremely lonely. Things didn’t end well for him. I like to use him as an example because he’s not the typical entitled scumbag incel villain that Reddit loves to portray people as. He was just an ugly guy and that’s sad.

Peacesquad · 2022-08-18T19:00:54+00:00

I see women have all these nitpicks and demands and standards but what does the average woman bring to a man? How do you add value to a man’s life and make him feel at peace when you’re with him?

Substantial_Video560 · 2022-08-18T20:14:27+00:00

From experience I find most people nowadays aren't particulary interesting to talk too. Many don't have hobbies or interests beyond talking about reality TV shows, soaps and celebrities.

When I compare them to myself with all my hobbies and interests I find them boring. However since I'm not an atttactive guy it doesn't make much difference really.

chattanoogacat · 2022-08-18T22:08:43+00:00

Trips with friends, unique experiences like when you visited a waterfall, or you did skidiving, etc

Funny you say this, I actually think all of these things are boring. It's actually why I opted out the dating game. Too many people think talking about the countries they visited and "activities" they participated in make them an interesting person. But all it's revealing is that they have a job and some disposable income.

It's crazy, even topics that are boring af ; like talking about all the tattoos you have , has potential to be interesting, but you find out there wasn't any hidden meaning/reasoning, It’s just random shit , "yeah, i like dragons and skeletons so I got tatted"

To go even further, when people talk about the things you mentioned, they are usually A (mostly men) that do it as a flex to signal they have money or B (mostly women) to signal that they like to travel and do expensive things. They're not even trying to be interesting. It's mostly a bullshit game.

I'd rather hear how someone overcame homelessness, developed crazy lifehacks, learned from a failed business idea, unique perspectives on religon/sexuality/politics, beat depression etc. Hell, even listening to these incels and psychologically damaged housewives argue on ppd all day is more interesting than the shit you're on about.

people like what the op is talking about oversaturate the dating market.

warramite · 2022-08-18T18:46:19+00:00

How far away from the minimum looks threshold the guy is determines how much "being" interesting can save him...

No poor troll isnt gonna win through personality on OLD.. A Chad who doesn't talk and beats her is more valuable than a troll who puts in all the effort

Hence why simps don't get anywhere with women, they're too "low value" so they'll never get a chance to begin with. She already decided "Over my dead body"

Emotional connection is more valuable than being interesting, that develops through frequent interactions or simply exposure.. thats how people develop "crushes"

ruboyuri · 2022-08-18T19:08:28+00:00

I’ve been offended by way, way more men than I’ve been bored or physically repulsed by. Also, I am a boring person with few hobbies, so I don’t want someone who is going to make me feel inadequate or guilty for holding them back or being unable to reciprocate

lifesuckswannadie · 2022-08-18T19:54:19+00:00

If you look good women don't care about any of that

2022-08-18T19:02:40+00:00

Some people just have a wait of convincing people that their life and experience matters. My friend isn't a great storyteller and says the same generic shit all the time but his extroversion shines through and he manages to get attention. Other people could do the most interesting things and then just compartmentalise it . It's not that they didn't love or care about what they did they just don't have that same ability to make things seem "epic". It's interesting and I'm genuinely curious as to why some people have this mundane ability and others don't.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-08-18T18:26:10+00:00

Everyone I know who is short fat ugly AND loved is because they are the butt of the joke.

2022-08-18T18:02:57+00:00

I’m both. 36 yr old workaholic that isn’t really passionate about anything, if I did not talk about my job I would not talk at all. Hard to find like minded people.

keepin2002 · 2022-08-18T18:26:01+00:00

agreed, it’s like being kicked out after being invited

I would be more saddened if people found me boring

childish_badda_bingo · 2022-08-18T18:48:09+00:00

Because as we all know one must be a dancing monkey to find love.

I’m of the opinion many people are boring but don’t want to be with other boring people.

Pacman124 · 2022-08-18T20:31:34+00:00

You can have a lot of things to talk about, but if there's no one willing to listen, you might as well keep it to yourself. The same goes for hobbies. I have petty niche hobbies (even though I do some simpler stuff on the side like hiking etc.). For me to captivate a woman with at least one of the hobbies, she has to 1) share at least one of the hobbies or have some general knowledge about them so we can have a discussion, 2) be willing to talk about it with me or 3) she doesn't share any of the hobbies but is somehow interested to know more about it and I just don't think that being somewhat below average looking will have no negative effect on the latter.

The first 2 points might result in a platonic relationship and here again, what might shift it to something romantic/sexual is... your looks.

She'd rather learn more about breakdancing from a handsome dude rather than from a short bald man. While she'll admire the handsome dude for being so passionate about his hobby, she will essentially just focus on the content the short bald man is telling rather than on him.

And this is the best-case scenario where you, as an ugly man, had the privilege to have a woman give you some of her attention.

I've seen foreign men that were attractive and couldn't align 2 words properly pick up women and we're talking about grad school students, not some low-value women

mistressusa · 2022-08-18T22:43:20+00:00

Nah, the most interesting conversations always start with a show/movie and lead to discussions of personal philosophy/values/ambitions/etc. just general understanding of the world. You don't need to spend money on rare hobbies or go on adventurous trips to be interesting. Just Netflix.

sarkington · 2022-08-18T17:58:02+00:00

Being too offensive, insensitive or selfish is way more common than being too boring, in my experience

A1Dilettante · 2022-08-18T18:22:15+00:00

You know talking about the places you been gets boring after awhile too. I can't tell you how many trips to the grand canyon or fucking Mexico I've listened to. It's always the same of descriptions and stories. "It was unlike anything I ever experienced." "It was so eye opening." "Such a great vacation." Like yeah and so was Cheryl's.

I think it comes down to people being terrible story tellers or going to conventional tourist attractions honestly. I'll take a poorly told tale about your trip through Detroit's hood over another vacation to Europe any day.

AelfredRex · 2022-08-18T19:04:22+00:00

No, "interesting" doesn't do much. You can have climbed Everest or herded kangaroo, but if she's just listening to you blather on and on about your interesting life, she'll be looking for the nearest exit.

The word you're looking for is "engaging", where you can hold an interesting conversation on any topic and she wants to participate.

jonascf · 2022-08-18T21:41:45+00:00

Definitely true. I compensate for my ugliness by having things to say and that works very well.

BasicallyYogurt · 2022-08-19T11:19:29+00:00

Or maybe, we follow the science. And the science says women find hot guys more interesting, even if they aren't.

thegabster2000 · 2022-08-19T16:57:53+00:00

It depends on the person on what they are willing to put up with. I have been on dates with hot guys who didn't like doing anything, were dumb or were just plain boring. My longest relationships were with people who were normal looking but interesting people that I was able to connect with, smart and actually liked doing things. I met plenty of couples who were considered attractive or not attractive, boring or not boring. Someone is going to find you desirable.

ahaeood · 2022-08-18T18:23:57+00:00

In general, looks open doors but what you can offer in a relationship will determine if you’ll live a lonely existence or not !!! If you’re lazy, ugly, incompetent and boring, what are you offering to your partner?

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melody_of_ · 2022-08-18T19:56:17+00:00

If your attractive enough they will find you interesting.

Heres my strategy. Pic up a few hobbies that are flashy/interesting enough to pique interest in women.

Consume media. On how to persuade people and utilize psychological means to make people like you and feel engaged.

The goal is to simulate an idealized well rounded masculine everyman type. Make the conversation all about her and whatever she likes /wants to talk about while maintaining frame and throwing in the occasional interesting tidbit about yourself.

Try to generate attraction like this. Do this over and over again, especially with women you arent attracted too so it feels lower stakes. Gauge reactions scan body language break it down to a science then run the numbers game without making people feel like your running the numbers. Experiment and dont be afraid to take risks and say whatever spontainious things come to mind.

Detach your emotions from the process and just focus on improvement and how to get the type results you are looking for.

You'll never meet most of the women you speak too while learning these skills and you might find something that works really well over and over again. Treat courting women like a job that requires lots of field practice and then put in the fucking work.

Eventually you'll meet a woman you really hit it off with and you'll be able to strike a balance between this learned methodology and carefully and skillfully interjecting your actual authentic self into it. But that comes last.

GarbageZestyclose698 · 2022-08-18T21:29:17+00:00

If the point of all those traits are to be invited to parties and having a lot of friends, then just say that. Is it possible for someone to have all those traits and not be invited to parties? I think so but what do I know since I don’t get invited to parties lol

attendquoi · 2022-08-19T00:37:51+00:00

I don't think it's either/or. It's both/and

2022-08-19T01:09:17+00:00

You mean that which constitutes a personality? Well fuck, get this Chad Chad Nobel prize

2022-08-19T06:02:10+00:00

Being boring, uninteresting, not having a lot of things to talk about, not having hobbies, etc

This describes 99% of the dudes who blame "women these days" for their involuntary celibacy.

2022-08-19T07:17:26+00:00

What is this about hobbies? And what if she is great listener who asjmks few but insightful questions ?

Hefty-Wolverine3675 · 2022-08-19T14:38:33+00:00

If you are ugly it is hard to get your foot in the door though

HazyMemory7 · 2022-08-19T20:17:54+00:00

How what you say is perceived has more to do with how attractive you are than what you actually say.

2022-08-21T03:24:59+00:00

I am a "boring" introverted guy who matches with other "boring" introverted women on dating apps. Similarity attracts.

Title	Being boring, uninteresting, not having a lot of things to talk about, not having hobbies, etc can be a bigger turn off than being ugly.
Author	NationalistGoy
Upvotes	30
Comments	70
Date	August 18, 2022 5:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wrpnck/being_boring_uninteresting_not_having_a_lot_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-boring-uninteresting-not-having-a-lot-of.1128938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128938