Being sociable, being personable, being charismatic, and belonging to higher status social circles boosts an otherwise average dudes’s SMV -- is that an accepted observation?

TheJim66 · 2019-05-21T23:27:17+00:00

Obviously . However incels aren't entirely wrong.There is a level of ugly that no matter how awesome your personality ,it will take an amazing amount of effort to get laid and/or love.Likewise there is a level of hotness where you can be the most socially retarded idiot bum and still get laid and fangirls.

What you mention will help however it misses the point.The things that will raise a man's SMV are looks ,status ,money and GAME.All of these matter to every girl ,they only differ in which of these they emphasize.The first three are fairly obvious I think and if I had to summarize game I would say :

Act like you are being swarmed by other women

Act like you don't need her.

SkookumTree · 2019-05-22T01:23:57+00:00

It boosts the SMV and RMV of humans. I’ve seen fucking burn victims described as pretty for that reason! She was dignified as hell.

sublimemongrel · 2019-05-21T23:15:28+00:00

RMV YAH, SMV hardly.

throwawayhouseissue1 · 2019-05-21T23:34:16+00:00

I've been on PPD for years and so I've exchanged photos with a enough self-proclaimed "incels" and "average chumps" -- the overwhelming majority of them aren't ugly. It's glaringly obvious to me the reason they suffer is because they lack the qualities in my title, but let them tell it, it's because "they don't look like Chad."

I think it's also worth noting that much of these positive personality characteristics are not in one's control. Sure you can put yourself out there and you can try, but at the end of the day some people just aren't good with people. Anxieties, tics, bad luck string of negative interactions, whatever it is it's not so simple to just go be some other, more socially acceptable person.

Humans have the ability to observe and reflect on natural selection in action, but I think continue to suffer from overestimating the ability of people to change and evolve, especially when having to account for all the obligations and vagaries of everyday life.

Yes some people can and do change and evolve, but consider whether the ones that change had less to overcome than the ones that couldn't. Not all restraints/obstacles are created equal, just as all people aren't created equal.

It is what it is.

MarioStaresSternly · 2019-05-22T02:58:14+00:00

We are the most social of organisms. Makes sense to me. Chimps are the same way.

blackedoutfast · 2019-05-22T00:48:52+00:00

I have been around, and known dudes who were charismatic, funny, the life of all the parties, confident enough to go up to any girl in a bar, club, or wherever, while being average looking or below and it didn’t do a damn thing for their SMV and getting them casual sex.

If personality really mattered, then there would plenty of average dudes getting regular casual sex, and 80/20 wouldn’t be a thing. Honestly the average man has about 7 partners, and in that maybe one hookup.

blackedoutfast · 2019-05-22T02:59:16+00:00

yeah i agree 100%. being socially competent, outgoing, charismatic and being in high value social circles can have a huge effect on a man's SMV/RMV. unless a guy is at the extreme far top or bottom 1% of looks, all that social stuff is going to have a much greater influence than his looks on how well he does with women.

all these blackpills and incels are just so socially retarded that they don't understand how important all that stuff is. they see a handsome Chad doing well with women and assume it's his looks. when really it's because Chad is extremely socially competent and confident.

this is especially true when you're going after hotter girls. good looking guys with zero social skills can coast along and get with fat/ugly girls based on their looks alone. but the hotties won't tolerate awkwardness no matter how good a guy looks.

if i had to choose between being an extremely charismatic ugly dude or a good looking but awkward social retard, i absolutely would choose to be socially gifted.

passepar2t · 2019-05-22T02:04:39+00:00

Yes.

the_calibre_cat · 2019-05-22T05:29:39+00:00

Sure.

These things won't do it without a minimum looks threshold, though, and better looks dramatically reduce the necessity of these traits.

[deleted] · 2019-05-22T08:25:20+00:00

Incels aren't masculine, that's one of the reasons they suffer. They are twinkies or fatties. They also lack social skills, experience etc but that's something which comes after you leave the house.

And it is the reason OP is correct, personality is 100 things and those things, combined, matter much more than your genetics alone.

So no incel will be a chad, ok, let's get this out of the way since it is not important anymore.

What incel can become is an average man. What an average man can become is above average man. And this is how it should be done.

I will never be an astronaut, too old, but I can easily become a pilot and fly private jets even in my age.

[deleted] · 2019-05-22T11:48:40+00:00

Agree completely. Charisma rules all. Access to drugs don't hurt either.

As long as you are at least average, a high level of charisma will get you access to pussy.

GridReXX · 2019-05-22T17:57:42+00:00

I know a lot of men within the manosphere lean "black pill" in that they believe the sole reason they are suffering with the ladies is how they look

You oversimplify black pill idealogy. It's about a general sense of futility and hopelessness, not about specific causes. Some people are hopelessly ugly, others have mental illnesses or crippling shyness, some are on the spectrum, some are just... wired to be kind of effeminate and uninteresting to women (I'm talking about your average geeky dnd player who is average or even decent looking, but awkward and exclusively has hobbies like coding or gaming that dry pussies up like the sahara).

Where that fits into your current thread is that for some men, this sort of "cool" "happening" "keen" "hip" or whatever term you kids use, activity is either impossible, or inconceivable to them. Impossible because of mental issues, extreme introversion or some other handicap, or inconceivable because they just hate society too much to ever participate in it without being murderously pissed off the entire time (I fit into this latter group).

I think part of the blackpill is a sort of underlying rage that women do not accept you for who you are. In a way, if you think about it, going Redpill is cucking out. It's conforming to the desires of women rather than demanding they conform to yours. I think the blackpill crowd would be happier if they could pillage and enslave women and remain themselves without needing to care what women think... but of course that's not possible in this age.

You know how there is fat acceptance for women? Because some percentage of fat women think society should change, and not them... the blackpill is similar, but for personalities instead of body type. They want who they are to become accepted and successful, not to have to change.

In short, even if some incel or omega guys could theoretically improve themselves and get pussy, not all of them will want to, some would actually prefer - from a moral and philosophical standpoint - to be extremely angry at women and society instead. It makes ME feel good, that's for sure.

throwawayhouseissue1 · 2019-05-22T00:01:54+00:00

I know a number of (outwardly and "on paper") attractive guys, but they are too socially awkward or insecure to chat with a woman. I manage anywhere from 13-17 people a night at work and I have tried to set up some decent guys with some decent girls I have met. But the guys (not the girls) are always like, "nah, she is too pretty."'

"Nah, I don't think she would like me."

"What would a girl like that see in me?"

He gave up before he even tried, and this was a guy who is 37, 6'4, good looking, educated, owns a house, has a dog, his own car, and is an all around socially pleasant guy.

My dudes, why are you so insecure? Who hurt you? How do I help you find some confidence?

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2019-05-21T23:26:02+00:00

As an anecdotal counterpoint, the "frat bros" I knew IRL were generally in decent shape. I can only think of a handful of dudes I'd call overweight in the 100ish in my chapter. Lots of intramural sports and hitting the gym before the nearly daily drinking festivities.

But yes I agree personality, confidence, and social proof are all important.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-05-21T23:36:41+00:00

The average man’s personality and lifestyle can be described as a basic bro. He’s somewhat outgoing but not particularly funny or particularly charismatic. He’s not autistic but not the center of attention either.

Basic bro likes the local sports team. Go local team! Enjoys playing 2k or some normie video game. Goes to a sports bar to watch team play with his bros. The “average” guy/girl is what we call a basic bro/basic bitch.

oneprettycoolcat · 2019-05-21T23:27:20+00:00

I've been on PPD for years and so I've exchanged photos with a enough self-proclaimed "incels" and "average chumps" -- the overwhelming majority of them aren't ugly.

You don't have to be objectively ugly as a man to be unattractive to women. You just have to be uglier than your competition, and competition is fierce in the age of Tinder when she has 24x7 access to hot guys.

Mystery_Tragic · 2019-05-22T02:07:30+00:00

Yes, that makes sense. Charisma seems such to be an underrated commodity with such men who are obsessed by looks. Probably because you can control how you look, but charisma is something you can't change. You either have it or you don't.

TheLongerCon · 2019-05-22T02:52:27+00:00

I agree that alot of male sexual attractiveness is behavioural, however your blind spot is that you don't compete with the average man in America, you compete with the average man where you live.

Most above average men tend to cluster in a few metropolitan areas, so while being 6' 80k guy with a decent personality might look good on paper, if you're in LA/NY/Chicago that's nothing special at all.

[deleted] · 2019-05-22T09:45:58+00:00

Man, tldr.

I won’t lie. It’s easier when people help boost your confidence early on. Most people don’t look that bad but when someone is above average, there’s a constant barrage of validation.

GridReXX · 2019-05-22T15:33:32+00:00

SMV as in sexual attractiveness / fuckability?

Higher status social circles are totally irrelevant unless the girl wants to try to fuck her way into a relationship with him.

Sociable/personable? Hardly any impact on SMV unless the guy is OBNOXIOUS to begin with.

Charismatic? Might help a bit but won't make him fuck girls in leagues higher than him.

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Title	Being sociable, being personable, being charismatic, and belonging to higher status social circles boosts an otherwise average dudes’s SMV -- is that an accepted observation?
Author	GridReXX
Upvotes	12
Comments	220
Date	May 21, 2019 11:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/brhb81/being_sociable_being_personable_being_charismatic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/being-sociable-being-personable-being-charismatic.255668 https://theredarchive.com/post/255668