Can sexlessness be compared to friendlessness?

saladfingers4141 · 2020-04-11T22:22:52+00:00

No, being friendless is a lot worse.

Mimoxs · 2020-04-11T22:25:35+00:00

Friendlessness would be far worse than sexlessness. Human social interaction is a very basic need that all humans need. Children, the elderly, people with sexual function issues, they all need friends and affection but not sex. People who commit suicide due to divorce or breakups don't do it because they're sad about not getting sex, they're sad about losing the person. Our socio-interpersonal relationships are paramount.

goatismycopilot · 2020-04-11T23:41:09+00:00

I would rather be person A but I am female human. Men wanting to have sex with me means men want to have sex. It is not a comment about me or an appraisal since men will have with anybody. If absolutely nobody wants to be your friend something is wrong.

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Barely-moral · 2020-04-11T22:31:34+00:00

I would imagine that being friendless would be worse. Both options are horrible and if I was condemned to live as either one of those things would end up badly for me and probably for other people as well.

Both situations seem similar to me. I would feel more sorry for person A. I don't need to feel sorry for person B. I can hang out with person B and solve the issue. There is no reason to feel sorry about something I can fix.

RandomAttackHelpMe · 2020-04-12T07:18:04+00:00

I've had/have both, it's miserable. I'd say more but it's late. If I had to pick one to be, I think person A tbh. I am not a virgin, but there was a period where I might as well been one. At least there's an emotional connection there and SOMETHING hopefully more fullfilling/deeper.

NockerJoe · 2020-04-11T22:10:56+00:00

Having known dudes in both the A and B category on some level or another B is certainly someone you pity more.

What a lot of people don't realize is if a dude ticks off a few boxes and is willing to dumpster dive he can fuck while his whole life is a trainwreck. Meanwhile if a dude doesn't tick those boxes it's a non starter even if he has a fairly active social life. But women generally don't hang around guy B for long consistently because being around that guy can be draining even if the sex is good.

While most people can tick a few boxes and have some shit going for them outside that I think there's a certain kind of crazy unstable person who ticks all the boxes because they're crazy. I had a roommate who was a barely-medicated at best bipolar and he had a different girl every other week plus a simultaneous LTR. But our apartment at the time had bare floorboards and we rented a basement suite. If I didn't bring in the furniture and shit it would have been an empty box and the moment I left and took it with me he replaced me with a chick who slept right on the bare floorboards as I was moving out.

Eastuss · 2020-04-11T22:27:31+00:00

Friends are a lot easier to get but a lot less rewarding. Friendless men usually are also incels, first step is to be able to socialize with people before flirting them.

1amtheSpoon · 2020-04-11T22:16:17+00:00

I’ve never had a problem getting girls but I’ve never had a real friend. I think of ending it everyday tbh.

1amtheSpoon · 2020-04-11T22:29:16+00:00

Person A is choosing to be sexless, so I would say Person B has it a lot worse.

Troy016 · 2020-04-11T22:52:25+00:00

Not really no

eboy4hire · 2020-04-12T01:11:17+00:00

Feel more sorry for the guy who can't make friends, but for me I feel like that's just a matter of trying. Friends don't have super high standards.

As for your A and B scenario, I feel worse for person A. I was assuming friendless was on a tier lower than virgin and therefore also a virgin. If I was friendless and having sexual offers thrown at me left and right then that would be awesome. Then I'd just have to easily get some friends. I'm not even sure how the fuck one goes about getting sexual offers without having friends.

2020-04-12T02:23:08+00:00

Friendship is forever.

A fuck is over quickly. Dumb animals fuck.

Person B probably has a disordered personality. Sympathy as long as they aren’t hurting anyone but themselves. Person A has something meaningful and hard to come by.

OXOzymandias · 2020-04-12T04:14:57+00:00

I would rather be something in between lmao

Like i dont need extreme social life and extreme sex desire thrown at me.

SpaceBollzz · 2020-04-12T08:07:59+00:00

I'm sexless and friendless.

So which is worse?

I don't know, I'm a very introverted person I don't even feel like I need friends so I'm gonna say sexless is worse.

Plutonic_blue · 2020-04-12T10:06:00+00:00

A can be pretty brutal to be fair. I mean sex is one of humans most basic primal needs. If someone is going without sex for a longtime it will do some mental damage, especially if sex is already a rarity in their life. I feel like a lot of people get the want for sex confused too; it's not about just getting an orgasm, it's about the affection, love, bonding, feelgood chemicals, cuddling, kissing, all that shit.

B would honestly be better off. Sex leads to other things such as relationships and dates. And also they're getting all their basic needs taken care of. Also realistically they would have at least a FEW friends too

jonascf · 2020-04-12T13:22:36+00:00

I would imagine that being sexless is way worse and I don't really see it as comparable to friendlessness. But that might be because I'm an introvert that has trouble establishing and maintaining friendships while sex seems to be kind of easy to get. So I don't really have an idea of what I'm missing out on with the whole friends thing.

Movingforwardtimes · 2020-04-12T14:38:49+00:00

Friendlessness is much worse. That feel of loneliness everyday and night of knowing you’re undesired socially just sucks. Add sexlessness to that and I call that the birth of an incel, there are exceptions though.

Simp_Gulag · 2020-04-13T02:53:58+00:00

I’d rather be person b any day of the week. Including the morning after where yet another girl ghosts you and you have to start all over with someone else.

Simp_Gulag · 2020-04-13T02:54:04+00:00

I’d rather be person b any day of the week. Including the morning after where yet another girl ghosts you and you have to start all over with someone else.

screamifyouredriving · 2020-04-11T22:45:34+00:00

I hate people but I still have a biological desire for sex and dopamine release from it. Technically I guess I'm friends with my partner but aside from that I get all my socializing done online and anonymously. I don't need to worry who I offend.

I do find it interesting that I can get laid as a guy despite having no friends. Rule #1 folks.

stats135 · 2020-04-11T23:35:06+00:00

I've been both sexless and friendless before and from experience, sexlessness is a lot worse. I find the main difference not so much the intensity but the frequency. Friendlessness sucks. But it was possible to ignore it. Yes. I get cripplingly depressed when everyone is hanging out with friends and family during Thanksgiving or Christmas, while I volunteered to work that day cause I have no one to spend it with. But normally without a holiday or life event to trigger it, I don't even notice I havent talked to a friend or even an acquaintance in months.

But with sexlessness I was miserable every single day. I can't ignore it. Biology makes it so that I have a natural urge for sex like feeling hungry or sleepy, but every time it goes unsatisfied. Maybe I can stimulate my other senses or distract myself by go out to hang with some friends. But the moment the gathering ends and I get back to my apartment, the misery of sexlessness comes right back. I was miserable in both cases, but the misery came one or twice a day with sexlessness, while it was one or twice a year with friendlessness.

SkookumTree · 2020-04-11T22:27:23+00:00

Person B...is more miserable. I guess they get the whole spouse and kids and white picket fence or at least a shot at it. But if they're that unpopular...they better hope their partner is good or at least OK at it or they can outsource that learning to their kids.

Person A: worse off, I'd think. I'd rather be Person A than Person B.

SuitableStart · 2020-04-12T05:20:15+00:00

Person A because his friends are most likely fakes anyway. At least with sex you cannot be fake that much.

geyejoe7 · 2020-04-12T05:56:45+00:00

I feel bad for a person that can get sex, but can't keep a friend. That leads to extreme feelings of loneliness, especially because those people don't stick around after sex, making you feel not worthy.

2020-04-11T23:23:52+00:00

B - is the way better scenario.

A - is a life of constant torture and disappointment.

If you don’t make the cut off for sex, you have to live your whole life denied one of the deepest, most fulfilling experiences a human can have. It’s not just about sex, it’s the whole falling in love process. It doesn’t happen if no one wants you.

ThisIsMyAccount135 · 2020-04-12T00:08:32+00:00

As a horny introvert, sexlessness is worse. Usually one or two social situations is enough per week - even sitting with the guys at the lunch table at work is enough for me to be socially satisfied. I actually have a deep connection with the people who are actually my friends.

Sex is a constant biological need for me.

twennysvn · 2020-04-12T05:10:27+00:00

Lets turn this into a metaphor so we can avoid the heated opinions behind sex.

Look at it like this. Suppose you were unable to defecate. No matter how hard you try you just cant take a dump. The urge builds and builds and youre crying in a public stall and its physically painful but you will never be able to push out anything.

Can you compare this feeling to not having friends?

Title	Can sexlessness be compared to friendlessness?
Author	twopeas3296
Upvotes	10
Comments	36
Date	April 11, 2020 10:03 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/fzk3af/can_sexlessness_be_compared_to_friendlessness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/can-sexlessness-be-compared-to-friendlessness.362356 https://theredarchive.com/post/362356