This doozy of an OP generated over 1000+ comments.
It asked, "Why do (some) women sleep with one guy the day they meet , but waits until commitment with another?"
One woman answered with this:
Circumstances.
That's it, that's literally it.
Did you [the guy] meet on a date, or out on the prowl looking for a lay?
Did the guy express interest in having sex right away (this is a big one)?
Were you drunk (this is a HUGE one)?
It comes down to this for me.
When I think of past "hookups" turned "FWBs," all of them I met at a party or house party or boozy social gathering or dance party or a fun social gathering. Typically these are guys within my social network and not complete strangers. They are usually friends of friends of friends who I've seen out and about at other social gatherings.
I'm not walking around my life bursting to the seams with "lust."
And so, if I happen to indulge in an impulsive lust-filled moment, 9/10 my environment dictated it. Meaning I was at a dance-oriented party where I ended up vibing seductively and rhythmically to the beat of the drum with a guy for a good while which, yeah sure, will likely lead to feeling lusty. OR I was in a tipsy and hyper-social fun environment and without fail I feel lustier when wine and/or shots are involved.
So for the men who are very much confused as to when and where "hookups" happen, are you out doing fun social things????
If you desire to be the "hookup" guy, catch her in a "hookup" environment whilst also being playful and fun. The environment and/or substances do 90% of the heavy lifting here.
If you are going on a "romantic first date" with someone and taking it all seriously, she is going to take it seriously. And "hookups" aren't "serious."
For me personally, "hookups" don't happen after a first date. If I'm on a first date with a man who I'm crushing hardcore on, I want him to be more than a "hookup," so I am not going to encourage anything outside of that. In fact, every man who has pursued me seriously was the one who was intent about the first date ending with a kiss and that's it. Which is really sexy, because I'm left thinking about that kiss and wanting more.
That's also key. Those men knew I was super into the kiss and so didn't feel as though I wasn't sexually interested in them. Context wasn't lost on them.
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S,M] [score hidden] stickied comment (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 16 points17 points18 points (9 children) | Copy Link
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[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
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[–]Anthony-waltzs -3 points-2 points-1 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]AnActualPersonGirthy -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ChibsFilipTelforddMen should not date virgins 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]AreOut 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mayhem977 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (57 children) | Copy Link
[–]Itsametoad 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mustbeaightmisogyny is a relegion and i am its Jesus 15 points16 points17 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]DisturbedBurger 2 points3 points4 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Mustbeaightmisogyny is a relegion and i am its Jesus 3 points4 points5 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]DisturbedBurger 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DisturbedBurger 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mustbeaightmisogyny is a relegion and i am its Jesus 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DisturbedBurger 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Mustbeaightmisogyny is a relegion and i am its Jesus 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Medicine_Adventurous 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PickleLineSimp for Low N-Count women 5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]flapperfemmefataleew gender roles 17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Medicine_Adventurous 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S,M] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Christian_Kong80% Natural Red 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]mc0079Non-Red Pill 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs -1 points0 points1 point (32 children) | Copy Link
[–]Medicine_Adventurous 2 points3 points4 points (23 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs -1 points0 points1 point (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]Medicine_Adventurous 1 point2 points3 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs 1 point2 points3 points (20 children) | Copy Link
[–]Medicine_Adventurous 3 points4 points5 points (19 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs 1 point2 points3 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]Medicine_Adventurous 2 points3 points4 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs 2 points3 points4 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]Itsametoad 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hippiefromolema 0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs -1 points0 points1 point (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]hippiefromolema -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Anthony-waltzs -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]hippiefromolema -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]athrowaway283222blue is my fav color -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Punished-Atlas-BIts time to admit it, i really am a man -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PoliticsIsBroken 12 points13 points14 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 10 points11 points12 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]philomexaMAY FAILURE BE YOUR NOOSE 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]icedhumblepie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet 7 points8 points9 points (13 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 8 points9 points10 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet 4 points5 points6 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]flapperfemmefataleew gender roles 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]flapperfemmefataleew gender roles 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mechanical_elvesused-up fuckboy manwhore 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Healthy-Cheetah9808 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Healthy-Cheetah9808 5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Healthy-Cheetah9808 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mikey152 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 15 points16 points17 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 15 points16 points17 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 11 points12 points13 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]bluehorserunning 2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BigHippo23 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]initilize -1 points0 points1 point (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]peppyperUndecided Pill -1 points0 points1 point (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]peppyperUndecided Pill -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]peppyperUndecided Pill 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 8 points9 points10 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]SmurfESmurfersonStacy’s Post-Wall Mom 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 6 points7 points8 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad 6 points7 points8 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]icedhumblepie 1 point2 points3 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danger3214 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danger3214 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danger3214 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mwait 7 points8 points9 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 3 points4 points5 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]OXOzymandiasBig Sexy 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TwoFirmFeet 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mwait 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sharp_Length_5006 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]kuavi 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jakes1967 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (47 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (9 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 3 points4 points5 points (33 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sharp_Length_5006 5 points6 points7 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sharp_Length_5006 1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sharp_Length_5006 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]philomexaMAY FAILURE BE YOUR NOOSE 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]philomexaMAY FAILURE BE YOUR NOOSE 3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hnug2 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]hnug2 -1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]hnug2 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Tavarshio 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Counter_PropositionObjectivity is hard 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CregSantiago 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DownvoteMe2021[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]afistfulofyen 2 points3 points4 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]DownvoteMe2021[🍰] 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]DownvoteMe2021[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DownvoteMe2021[🍰] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BlackPorcelainDoll🌹 ᴘʀᴏᴘᴇʀᴛʏ ᴏꜰ ᴘᴏʀꜱᴄʜᴇ 🏇 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]moviecooknl 2 points3 points4 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]moviecooknl 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]BigHippo23 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] -2 points-1 points0 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]DisturbedBurger 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 2 points3 points4 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]PositiveCaterpillar7 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] -2 points-1 points0 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] -1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheJim66Red God-Emperor of Slut Country 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]jojo0507 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ThickyJamesRedpilled, evolutionary-psychological Tradcath Man -2 points-1 points0 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point2 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (18 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 7 points8 points9 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]flamingoinghomeIs three lizards in trench coat 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sage_Planter 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AidsVictim -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Danger3214 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FlintbloodPurple Pill Man 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]GridReXXThe "XX" in my name means I'M A WOMAN[S] 1 point2 points3 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link