Childfree women - do you split the bill on a date?

sabiinvesting · 2022-05-14T08:25:02+00:00

In my younger days, I paid more often than the guys that I went out on dates with, because I was often the one with more money. I think it is nice for someone with more money to be a bit more generous, but that is generosity, and should not be expected of the person. I dumped the guy if he got entitled to such generosity. The norm should be taking turns or splitting.

So apparently, some women think men paying is an indicator of interest. I think spending money is such a lazy way to show interest, and is not the best indicator. If that’s the sign that some women look for, I feel a little bad for those women as they might not have experienced better signs of interest or have the skills to notice better ones.

bluestjuice · 2022-05-14T11:51:55+00:00

I don’t think women who expect the man to pay on a date are doing so as a specific effort to gauge how successful they would be as a provider. It’s a metric of acculturation, relational dynamics, interest, and other compatibility issues, if anything.

Personally I prefer splitting the bill, and I’ve never gone into a relationship looking for a provider, but I don’t think childfree status has anything to do with it.

YoviQ · 2022-05-14T12:17:22+00:00

Lol, I don't expect anyone to pay for me, but plenty of the men I've been on dates with will happily offer, even go so far as to get offended if I choose to pay for my share. So who am I to argue?

Kaleidoscopiquant · 2022-05-14T12:05:21+00:00

I swear you guys are all martians lol.

SignalThanks6766 · 2022-05-14T08:16:15+00:00

I have split the bill on every single date except one I’ve been on. And the only reason he paid for that was because we were running late and it would have taken too much time to buy our £8 cinema ticket separately. In the UK, a man will typically buy the first drink if you’re in a bar, then you buy the second and so on. It’s called “rounds” and is pretty common.

feedmepizzaplease99 · 2022-05-14T11:53:12+00:00

What a disingenuous take.

And buying someone lunch doesn’t equal a provider. If you don’t want to spend any money on a woman you are dating then don’t, but you can’t force her to accept that of other men will.

Lysa_Bell · 2022-05-14T11:00:48+00:00

Im childfree and in a relationship. I still feel uncomfortable when my bf pays for things or makes me gifts and we are together for 4 years. I don't want him for money or something. I pay my own bills. If I ask him out to do something I pay for it. If we decide to do something together we split. If he asks me out to do something he wants to pay for it. I don't need a man to pay for me. If I can't afford something I'm not gonna do it. I would never expect someone to pay for me. That's not what a relationship is for for me.

TheMedsPeds · 2022-05-14T13:27:27+00:00

Lol what? What a strange question. You think men pay for dates solely because maybe one day that man will provide for a woman who will have his kids?

As for me, I’m fine with splitting the bill. I used to be fine with paying all together but stopped doing that after getting fed up dating dead beats. Now if you can’t afford a damn coffee, go find someone else. I’m not paying any grown man’s bills who just doesn’t have the capacity to hold a job.

goatismycopilot · 2022-05-14T13:30:11+00:00

So you are saying women who want children should always insist the man pay for the date?

RealNiceLady · 2022-05-14T08:56:26+00:00

It doesn't make sense for you to think a woman would not want a provider or to be cared for just because she is child free.

roseybombosey · 2022-05-14T11:06:20+00:00

i pay for the whole dinner i like giving stuff it’s my love language

Siukslinis_acc · 2022-05-14T11:18:19+00:00

If i would date, then i would pay for my orders (and not 50/50 as one would pay more than they ordered if the other orders a more expensive item) unless stated otherwise.

TermAggravating8043 · 2022-05-14T09:04:04+00:00

I don’t see how being childfree comes into this? During the dating stage your looking fir someone your compatible with, not someone that can fight off bears Everyone should be 50/50

Catherine772023 · 2022-05-14T12:58:47+00:00

gofigure62 · 2022-05-14T15:08:24+00:00

Most men I've gone on dates with find it highly offensive when I attempt to pay the bill or split the bill.

It never goes over well and the men assume that I'm assuming that they can't pay or that I'm not interested and don't want another date.

Last time I told the waitress that I'd pay on the date and the told me that I "wasn't getting rid of him that easily" and paid for it instead.

All of gender norms that men complain about in this sub are a preference for most men IRL. I have never had a man accept my offer to pay or me trying to pay with grace, it never goes over well and is never well received.

Cupcakelover1985 · 2022-05-14T22:32:49+00:00

They expect men to pay because it’s fun for them and they like it.

WasteTimeGetPaid42 · 2022-05-14T08:36:12+00:00

What does it have to do with been child free.... Honestly as a guy I offer to pay and most of the time we split because she says no to me paying all

shadowkittn · 2022-05-14T12:12:05+00:00

Whoever invites pays. Once we in a relationship, I don't mind taking turns. Anytime I invite a friend to lunch/dinner, I pay. And then the next time, she pays.

Its amazing how this works when you genuinely care about someone. No one is sitting there with a calculator at the end of the night🙄

Comprehensive_Bed314 · 2022-05-14T08:07:54+00:00

I haven’t dated anyone. If I dated a guy, I would expect that I’d pay for my food at a restaurant or half the bill if we share. It would be a fun surprise if he paid for everything himself.

honeydewmelonz · 2022-05-14T12:58:24+00:00

Why should it be like that in theory? Men like to pay on dates. Most are still traditional when it comes to dating and/or they say they were just raised like that. I just don’t see why I would pay on a date when I’m with a man who asked me out. I don’t think that a man would invite me out in a romantic way if he didn’t have me covered, that sounds embarrassing for him.

Ambitious_Physics141 · 2022-05-15T21:44:30+00:00

I’m not sexually attracted to cheap men Because other men will meet my standards if you don’t I like a proper courtship

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GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-05-14T11:15:23+00:00

i never went on a "Date" before sex in my life and dont care about money

avoriure · 2022-05-14T13:32:13+00:00

i’ve been on a lot of dates and i’ve never been asked or expected to pay. i always offer but most of the guys always insist on paying. there was only one time where a guy went to pay for my movie ticket and i told him i had it, and he just said okay and let me pay for it. but other than that, all of the guys seemed very enthusiastic to pay for everything no matter how expensive the date was. i think it’s attractive, but if a guy doesn’t wanna pay for the entire date then it’s not necessarily a negative either unless his attitude about how the bill would be paid seemed off.

Novadina · 2022-05-14T13:42:50+00:00

I preferred to split the bill or take turns paying, and it had nothing at all to do with being childfree. When I was dating, I was on the fence about wanting kids, I just wasn’t sure yet if I wanted them or not. But I only wanted egalitarian relationships, so I always preferred to pay everything equally and do chores equally, etc.

Ilarva · 2022-05-14T13:43:34+00:00

because it’s a social NORM still. these days, i feel like dating doesn’t have much to do with biology but rather with social conducts and constructs

YouAskedIt · 2022-05-14T14:20:33+00:00

I had split the bill in both relationships.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-05-14T14:25:30+00:00

No, I pay for us both. Because paying bills on the basis of providing for future children you'll potentially never have is silly.

Littlebirdddy · 2022-05-14T15:23:46+00:00

I never had a man ask me to split the bill on the first date or the second or even third… usually when we start dating regularly we either split or they pay the full amount or I pay for something else down the line I.e movie tickets .etc. I mean it’s just not an issue with who pays when you respect and care for the person. Now if I wanted children, I would expect a man to provide while I raise the kids and take care of the household. That’s my preference. My bf and I don’t plan on having children or even moving in with each other lol we want to own condos in the same building, so mostly everything is 50/50. He tends to buy all my entertainment though, I tend to express my gratitude by buying him coffees and sweets

Ruben_the_Fish · 2022-05-14T18:17:59+00:00

We go back and forth with who buys what. No one really cares.

Willow-girl · 2022-05-15T05:31:25+00:00

The person who issues the invitation should pick up the tab. When I was single, that usually meant a man would ask me out and pay for the date. If things went well, by around the third date I'd invite him over for a home-cooked meal and seduce him.

Vyrnoa · 2022-05-15T18:01:46+00:00

I usually pay. The whole bill.

Title	Childfree women - do you split the bill on a date?
Author	AntiFeminismAU
Upvotes	0
Comments	64
Date	May 14, 2022 7:56 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/upcfan/childfree_women_do_you_split_the_bill_on_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/childfree-women-do-you-split-the-bill-on-a-date.1114283 https://theredarchive.com/post/1114283