CMV: dual-income couples should split the expenses 50/50

[deleted] · 2017-12-18T04:50:04+00:00

Sounds like a super fun way to be married 🙄

i_have_a_semicolon · 2017-12-18T04:36:57+00:00

If the income was so disportionate that she would be unable to afford the life style he wants, he needs to pay the difference

[deleted] · 2017-12-18T07:24:00+00:00

As long as both agree, there are no rules to what should be done or shouldn't be done. Two adults can make all kinds of arrangements. 50/50 or 20/80 or 1/99 whatever

[deleted] · 2017-12-18T07:30:40+00:00

When my ex lived with me she paid her share of the bills.

Stop being a simp who treats women like children who can't pay fucking bills! Some of you fake reds piss me off with that shit

haikufun · 2017-12-18T04:58:33+00:00

My wife shouldn't be able to freeload off my income while she pursues her low-paying self-actualizing career.

You could find an ambitious woman with bigger paycheck instead of splitting 50/50 with your "poor" person. What's the point?

wracky272 · 2017-12-18T13:46:14+00:00

If you want to buy your way out of chores, pay for a maid.

Am I the only person on the planet that doesn't see chores as that big of a deal? We have washing machines, dishwashers, vacuum cleaners, lawn mowers, snow blowers. The modern household isn't a full-time job like it used to be.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-12-18T10:10:16+00:00

How do you calculate how chores correspond to monitary value? How much is clean laundry worth? Are healthy meals worth more than Mac and cheese? Does reading a bed time story to your kid count as much as baby sitting (cheap) or tutoring (expensive)?

You sound like a feminist. Nice lofty ideals, but no way to practically implement without uprooting a bunch of people's happy lives.

storffish · 2017-12-18T12:59:43+00:00

if you want to keep all your money why would you get married and have kids?

SirNemesis · 2017-12-18T04:31:50+00:00

I thought this is what most people already did.

OfSpock · 2017-12-18T06:21:52+00:00

I assume that the man is picking up his 50% of the household chores. They often don't.

DemonConsulting · 2017-12-18T08:44:02+00:00

You can set whatever standards you like for your relationship but your proposal only works if you are willing to lower your own standard of living to what your hypothetical wife can afford. If “enjoying the fruits of your hard earned money“ involves living in an expensive house, going on vacations, owning the latest tech etc, you'll have to live apart and do all the other fun stuff on your own (in which case nice “marriage“ lol) since she obviously can't afford that on her sallary.

I'm guessing from the tone of your post that you aren't really interested in marriage anyway but I really cannot see this working out unless she comes from money or you make major compromises on your own standard of living.

You might be better off just casualy dating or finding someone who makes the same amount of money as you do...

So to CYV: Your personal standards can be as above, they will just require compromising your standard of living quite a bit. As for what other dual income couples should be doing I think is no one's business but their's. If a guy wants to spend his money on buying a house to live in with his wife and children, I don't see anything wrong with it. It's his choice, he could also stay single and spend it on hookers or donate it all to charity while living like a monk. Same goes for the woman - she can spend her money on what she wants and both should figure out what they want to do as a couple or split up if their goals don't align.

SirNemesis · 2017-12-18T04:53:35+00:00

fair

lol

Eastuss · 2017-12-18T08:34:25+00:00

My wife and I were 50/50 until we had a baby, now our implications in the expanses are proportionate to our earnings. To me it's only fair, she earned nothing for 10 month because of the baby and for a long time she'll have to work less, her career opportunities are frozen also.

But sadly, the fact I earn more for less work is badly seen, I'm not seen as valuable for just the fact I earn more, no, that is used against me, since I earn more by working less, I am supposed to participate equally in everything, despite my time being technically more valuable.

Dubslav_von_Chekem · 2017-12-18T22:21:50+00:00

Suppose the man takes home 350k and the woman 50k, and they have household expenditures of 100k plus savings of 200k.

How will that work out?

If you feel this is unrealistic, scale the numbers down proportionately.

SecSlab · 2017-12-18T21:51:38+00:00

Nope, not if you’re married. Marriage isn’t about making sure the other person pays 50%. You’re a team. You pool your money together and save as much as possible for the betterment of the FAMILY. Each partner gets a set amount of “fun money”.

You were telling me that $300 a month isn’t much for hair. If a man requires me to pay $300 a month on my hair, he better not expect me to pay $300 a month of my own money while he saves $300 a month.

despisedlove2 · Mon Dec 18 13:18:01 2017 UTC

ITT, feminists discover that they don't like equality so much after all.

[deleted] · 2017-12-18T13:56:46+00:00

there's that pesky should again

sublimemongrel · 2017-12-18T14:58:09+00:00

I don’t want a husband who quid pro quos everything like that, but if that’s what you want to do that’s your prerogative. I don’t know how you expect your view changed, this sounds like a preference rooted in your values. My values are a bit different.

GridReXX · 2017-12-18T16:22:34+00:00

Depends. If the person making disproportionately more wants to live a certain quality of life but, they married someone who makes disproportionately less.. well they shouldn’t expect 50/50 or they shouldn’t have married that person or they should be okay with the lifestyle the lower earner can afford.

[deleted] · 2017-12-18T17:15:23+00:00

My parents were dual income with my Mother making less than my Father despite her working longer hours. They both tried to help out around the house and they both spent money on their hobbies. My Mother often handled finances, and her skills in doing so helped in the time he was laid off for years. They simply pooled their money together and attempted to cooperate and help each other out. If any of their hobbies got excessive, they'd scold the other and make compromise. If your marriage is at the get go some kind of 'this side of the fence and your side of the fence' you're setting yourself up for a bad time. Just pray nothing happens to your income--which over the course of marriage and a lifetime is highly likely to happen.

ayovita · 2017-12-18T05:12:28+00:00

So tell her to get a better job, as a matter of fact show her this post.

AstuteBlackMan · 2017-12-18T06:45:28+00:00

If I'm a man and I make 100,000 and she makes 40,000 it's not fair to split. But if we both make relatively the same give or take 30-40k it's fine.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-12-18T07:10:33+00:00

Single-income couples should split 50/50. Why would you let someone else enjoy your lifestyle?

newName543456 · 2017-12-18T08:59:33+00:00

They should split the way both can agree on, whether it's equal or not.

Entropy-7 · 2017-12-18T10:09:00+00:00

There are a few views on this. Yes, one is to keep your finances basically separate and contribute 50/50 to general expenses. The other is to pool resources and contibute pro rata. That is, if you make $100k and she makes $50k then you cover 2/3rds and she covers 1/3.

The more interesting question is what to do with what is left over.

It is hard wired into women to choose lower paying jobs that are more fulfilling. It is hard wired into men to max out their earnings to provide for their wife and kids even if the job sucks.

Not sure how many LTRs the OP has been in; not sure how many more he will have is he stick to his guns on this.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-12-18T10:26:37+00:00

The second issue with this is you say she should go out an find a better paying job like they grow on goddamn trees. My SO is a medical specialist, I can't even think of a job with my bachelor's degree that would even put me in the same tax bracket as him. And if such a job did exist, what, am I just gonna walk in there like "hey can you hire so things between my boyfriend and I are more fair?"

FrontierPsycho · 2017-12-18T12:47:10+00:00

In my household (even though we're not married, because we don't want to at this point), we share groceries etc about 50/50 (I pay a bit more because I consume more expensive stuff, like meat), but I make a non negligible amount more money, so we split the rent according to our salary ratio.

That mainly comes from both of us agreeing that me making more money is more the result of patriarchal norms, and the inequities of capitalism, rather than me deserving that much more or working that much harder.

Luna4x0 · 2017-12-18T14:52:28+00:00

The most efficient and fair method would be to split expenses based on income percentage. Dual-income household members may have disproportionate salaries, it wouldn't be right to split bills strictly 50/50.

You can also divide expenses by "wants."

Example: I want cable-tv and internet, my partner only cares for internet. Recognizing he's paying other bills in full I decide to claim the Cable-Internet bill myself, along with other expenses, to reach an equitable bill sharing state.

SlimLovin · 2017-12-18T17:08:46+00:00

she wants to have a career instead of doing all the housework, cooking, and childrearing and stuff.

If your wife is doing all the housework, cooking, and childrearing, I have some bad news about the 50/50 split of responsibility in your household. I also have some bad news about the longevity of your relationship in the 21st century.

quicklogaccount · 2017-12-18T17:10:33+00:00

I tend to agree but you'll see a lot of couple's welfare limited by a low earner's capacity (most likely the woman since women are more prone to marry wealthier men) and a lot of couples that can't quite share hobbies.
In practice a policy such as this one disregards hypergamy, you'll have something inherent to the (female) human nature conflicting to social standards. You'd probably make dual income couples an impossible thing.

Orange_Paisley · 2017-12-18T18:59:01+00:00

That's how our relationship is. We both work, we both split the bills, we pay our own phone and car expenses, and we take turns buying the groceries.

eliechallita · 2017-12-18T19:10:54+00:00

I think that it really depends on relative incomes and lifestyle expectations.

If both partners make a similar amount and want a similarly expensive lifestyle, then split it 50/50.

If one partner makes much more than the other but they want a similarly expensive lifestyle and the richer partner is fine with contributing the lion's share, then they should split it in whatever way feels fair to both of them.

My only issue comes in when two partners have unequal income and the richer partner is feeling forced or pressured to support a lifestyle that they don't want. That person should GTFO as soon as possible: Not only is their partner freeloading off of them, that partner is also treating them with a lack of respect and fairness.

crackrocksteady7 · 2017-12-18T04:37:12+00:00

Protip: in an ltr (obviously doesn't work if you're dumb enough to get married) pay 100% of rent or the mortgage so you always have the option of kicking her out in a hurry 👍

It's covering your ass framed as generosity

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Title	CMV: dual-income couples should split the expenses 50/50
Author	SirNemesis
Upvotes	6
Comments	175
Date	December 18, 2017 4:30 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/7kiy2q/cmv_dualincome_couples_should_split_the_expenses/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-dual-income-couples-should-split-the-expenses.264451 https://theredarchive.com/post/264451