CMV: If legal, age doesn’t matter

purplish_possum · 2022-10-04T19:48:41+00:00

The age of consent in Canada is 16 (when I was young it was 14). That doesn't mean the vast majority of Canadian society won't think a 50-year-old guy dating a 17-year-old girl isn't creepy AF. It just means he won't go to jail.

_revelationary · 2022-10-04T17:04:24+00:00

I don’t care about age gaps, BUT men on here will cite divorce statistics all the time (eg, the more sexual partners the woman has had, the more likely you’ll be to get a divorce oh no!!)

Large age gaps are also strongly associated with divorce. So I think consistency is important. Don’t say one risk factor for failed relationships is important and then ignore another because it’s convenient.

That being said, as long as nobody is being abused or taken advantage of, just be with who you want to be with.

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-10-04T18:43:07+00:00

I didn’t realize that the only thing stopping so many men from sleeping with minors is if it’s legal or not 💀💀💀💀

m0rbidowl · 2022-10-04T19:37:38+00:00

I dated a 39 year old when I was 20. Should anyone have called the cops? No. But I was too young to see how insanely unattractive it was that he was severely underemployed, lived in a basement, drank heavily, and a bunch of other red flags that I have since learned are actually red flags. I think he sought me out because I wasn't experienced enough in dating to know how much he sucked for his age and how little of his shit he had together. If he were to date someone age-appropriate, she would expect him to have clean towels and basic budgeting skills. So yeah, in that way, if not necessarily predatory, it's exploitive and weird and immature and I will side-eye a guy for purposely seeking out much younger women because it says more about his maturity and character than some guys want to admit.

LadyofTheGreyPath · 2022-10-04T19:29:39+00:00

I will admit I did find it really weird at 18 when guys who were 45 or 50 would hit on me. Yes, we're adults but at the same time why me...? I had fuck all in common with men that age and 9-years later I still have nothing in common with them. I still don't get the argument behind age gaps and, but I see why some people can see it as skeevy because some of those guys were indeed skeevy. Most I don't think they're skeevy they're really interested in the person despite the age gap.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-04T18:32:44+00:00

There is a difference between legal and ethical. I look askance at people like Leo DiCaprio. I don't think he's terrible but it's fucking weird.

For me I'm of the mind that if someone nears thirty they should be dating people whose brains are fully developed (age 25), but obviously it's not my decision to make.

But again, there is a difference between what is legal and what is ethical. And of course SOME of those May/December relationships work out really well.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-04T16:47:24+00:00

I dated a 30 year old when I was 40 for about 6 months and we absolutely broke up because of the age difference. Sure it was legal, but we couldn't relate to each other. YMMV.

PronKing10 · 2022-10-04T17:28:47+00:00

For starters, most of the dudes getting all worked up defending the age gap aren't going to get that opportunity so why get so defensive about something you'll never even do? I think it'd be a lot better if they just said "I'm going for someone younger than me because they're attractive and won't see my red flags. Having things in common or being at the same place in our lives don't matter because I only care about this person's looks and inexperience, mainly because I'm not confident in my own".

Have you talked with a 20 year old lately? Do you want to bar hop and talk about tik toks?

Acaciduh · 2022-10-04T16:18:58+00:00

As long as it’s legal and consensual it really doesn’t matter. I think most people will side eye a 40 year old with a 20 year old because you are at widely different points in your lives but it’s your relationship and who gives a shit what others think. It’s probably not the best for longevity though as many studies have shown wide age gaps have one of the highest divorce rates but again if that’s a risk you’re willing to take it’s your life 🤷🏻‍♀️

KayRay1994 · 2022-10-04T19:29:56+00:00

I mean being at different stages of life kinda matters a lot - the difference between a 20 and 30 year old (on average) is that the 30 year old is far more likely to be their own established human being than the 20 year old - and here is the better question, why is the arbitrary age of 18 considered adulthood? at 18 you haven’t experienced life, and at 20 you’ve barley experienced it (if you wanna call going to university ‘experiencing life’) - at 20 your brain isn’t fully developed, you’re still a very mailable person and you’re still easy to be fooled - the idea of age gaps isn’t the issue here, it’s what stage of life the person is at - and while sometimes you’ll have a 20 year old who’s experienced far more than their peers and are far wiser, this isn’t the norm

BaiKingu · 2022-10-04T17:46:10+00:00

Just because it’s legal doesn’t mean it’s completely fine either.

I don’t think 30+ dating 19 year olds should be illegal, but I do think those people need to step back and consider for a second the mental state a 19 year old is likely to be in.

I dated a 33 year old man as a 19 year old. I think it was fine in theory, but he treated me very questionably at several points and in my opinion IF you are going to date someone who is so far behind in experience and maturity to you, it’s your obligation to atleast treat that person fairly.

Unfortunately lots of people abuse the fact that someone very young doesn’t know any better or lacks the experience to navigate the relationship, to basically just do whatever they want with said person.

I don’t think that deserves jail time, but I do think that makes you a creep/scum bag.

bsmith440 · 2022-10-04T20:43:48+00:00

I use to have this thought process regarding this subject. I didn't care if it was some 18yo and 30yo. Until I was 27 and actually met and had a conversation with an 18yo. They are incredibly young and unwise. They aren't stupid just naive. She was attractive but if I slept with her it would be like sleeping with a child, it felt very wrong.

Another point I wouldn't recommend large age gaps. I'm currently 28 my wife is 24. Just 4 years difference in our age and I can tell the difference on occasion. Trust me age and experience is a big way of how people operate and look at the world. I can only imagine what a 10 year age gap relationship would look like. I think almost no matter the age 18/28, 20/30, 30/40, even 40/50 would result in some relationship friction.

I'm not saying you can't, I'm just saying you shouldn't.

risdeveau · 2022-10-04T16:18:55+00:00

Sorry, the majority of us are dumb in our early 20s, and probably also in our late 80s

We will judge those who try and get something from people at that age

Lyzard96 · 2022-10-04T16:29:45+00:00

People are allowed to have their own opinions. A 30 year old dating a 20 year old isn't the issue though. The issue is men saying at say, 47 (around Leo Dicaprio's age) they won't date anyone over 25 because they think she's going to have only down syndrome babies if she gets pregnant for the rest of her premenopause years while they're still perfectly fertile(not true). I'm not saying it should be illegal, but I am allowed to say it's not only weird and creepy, but also kinda stupid, ignorant, and shallow. Just my opinion.

mackenzie013_02 · 2022-10-04T16:35:52+00:00

lmao imagine behaving like you’re 20 when you’re in your 30s 🤦🏻‍♀️😂

Sure, people should be and are able to do whatever they want (nobody is preventing you from dating legal adults). I dated a guy who was 30 when I was 19, in retrospective it was a huge disaster - so yeah I’ll share my learnings (like any other). It’s up to you to do what you want with it tho. 🤷🏻‍♀️

indaknffr · 2022-10-04T20:05:58+00:00

i'm convinced some people just heard the term "infantilizing" once and went with it.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-04T19:31:54+00:00

18 is a completely arbitrary age, most people under about 21-23 are actually pretty childish. Brain isn’t fully developed till about 25. So being honest about that isn’t infantilizing them. No, I’m not saying making the legal age of consent 25 or even 21. But we must realize as a society that extra caution is needed with people under 25 and especially 18-21. We honestly don’t treat people in this in-between age group like real adults for the most part, despite legally being adults. So to then say they can date a 30 yr old with no issue? Doesn’t seem right.

Cat_Lover259 · 2022-10-04T19:01:14+00:00

I’m 21 and can’t imagine dating someone who is 31. But that’s just my personal preference though. If you’re into older partners then that’s your thing but just remember you might have different opinions on things or things you won’t have in common at all. My bf is 23 and honestly there are things we just don’t have in common at all and there’s only a two year age difference…

riceweight · 2022-10-04T20:39:29+00:00

Hot take: 20 year old men should be ready and willing and mature enough to be in an adult relationship with children and a wife.

Uncomfortable with that?

Then 20 year old women should not be in adult relationships with 30 year old men getting ready to get pregnant and have kids.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-10-04T16:32:17+00:00

age does matter though. date whoever you want, truly, but to say age doesn’t matter at all is a bit disingenuous.

it’s probably actually beneficial to recognize that someone is at a different stage than you if you’re engaging in an age gap relationship beyond just hooking up.

i have known people to date someone much younger or older and then be “surprised” by the differences. like, oh, you’re disappointed your 19 year old lover is a bit immature and not established? you’re shocked that your much older beau is a more structured homebody than your college age peers? wow.

Temporary-Drawing212 · 2022-10-04T18:54:27+00:00

Why do you guys want to debate a topic that is unlikely to even happen? You all are getting defensive over something that will never apply to your life. Suck it up most average people side eye age gap relationships. The only time people don't give a f when it's rich and well known men.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-10-04T18:48:14+00:00

In the UK the age of consent is 16. A 16 year old dating a 30yo is disgusting whether or not it's legal. That's still a child.

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2022-10-04T21:51:00+00:00

The only people who complain about age gaps are those who have very few options to begin with.

2022-10-04T23:11:43+00:00

Women are just mad their 30 - 40 year old ass can't compete with young cooter, that's all.

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-04T16:52:22+00:00

It’s not illegal, but it’s still gross imo. If a dude outside of my comfortable age range hits on me, I’m going to bark at him 🤷‍♀️

sh3t0r · 2022-10-04T21:14:44+00:00

What about 14 and 41?

2022-10-04T21:34:23+00:00

Huge age gaps aren't going to be common people want to be with someone around their own age. The few that do though idc I guess but it's important to examine why you are into that person is is much younger or older than you, it could stem from mental illness or social conditioning.

Pilling_it · 2022-10-04T21:44:13+00:00

I feel like that's an issue when the person go after younger partners as a preference, because at some point you would find much younger people insufferable.

However, on a case to case basis I feel the odds a specific occurence working is fine. It's mostly a red flag when paired with other stuff, not on it's own.

2022-10-04T21:52:21+00:00

I think it matters when it’s a) a pattern. Like a person continuously dating much older or younger. That indicates that there maybe is a fetishisation. Or b) if it’s grooming, meaning the the older person was already in touch when the younger person was still a minor

ruboyuri · 2022-10-04T22:15:50+00:00

Sure it does. We all have life experiences

ToberOct · 2022-10-05T02:17:32+00:00

Ok, the legal age is now 3.

"Wait no no, I meant 18!"

Ok, then explain why 18 is ok without using the circular logic "it's legal, you're an adult." Explain why it should be legal, why it should be considered an adult, why any adult can have sex with any other adult.

techr0nin · 2022-10-05T03:42:22+00:00

I think there’s nothing creepy about two people genuinely in love, regardless of age. However it is creepy when one person reduce the other person to a single trait due to some sort of fetishism, and look to date them solely because they fit that trait. This could be age, but also things like race, hair color, or whatever, in a manner that goes beyond just personal preference.

Dungold · 2022-10-05T16:28:13+00:00

I'm 24 years old dating a man who is 48 and I literally couldn't be happier rn

redditcleanslate · 2022-10-05T22:11:30+00:00

Well, what if you're a 35 year old woman and those 20 year old girls are dating the 35 year old men you want to date?

Seems to matter a lot then.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-10-04T16:35:05+00:00

Of course it matters. If there's there's significant age gap, you're way less likely to met abd way less likely to be into each other if you do meet, as well as ramping up your risks for problems such as abuse. It's not like we'd all go around dating old people if only society accepted it, most don't want to in the first place. Of course there are many differences if you date someone three or ten years older - the younger one is more likely to have the same current goals, to be able to relate to your interests abd where you're at in life, to lead a compatible lifestyle and not to be a weird fetishist who wants you because they think you'll expire past 25. Big age gap relationships should be allowed, of course, but we should also be allowed to say they're inadvisable, which they are, and most people don't want them, which they don't.

george__whorewell · 2022-10-04T21:09:58+00:00

Older people who date people who are right at/just past the age of consent are gross. I know that it's legal, but we all know that they would be going a lot younger if they were allowed. Your brain isn't fully formed until about 25, so most 20-year-olds are actually quite childish compared to 30-year-olds. A 23-year-old and a 20-year-old being in a relationship is MUCH different than a 20-year-old dating a 30-year-old. In my opinion, the older you get, the less gross larger age gaps become. This is due more to maturity and where you are in life than actual age.

Hungry-Adagio2152 · 2022-10-04T19:18:40+00:00

As long as the younger party is 18, who cares.

Some people are 40 and act like immature imbeciles while some people at 20 are much more mature than most people older than them. If the relationship works, it works and it isn’t anyone else’s business. If it doesn’t work, I’m sure the two folks involved will figure that out soon enough. As if all relationships between people the same age work out, or don’t fail because “people are at different places in their lives”…

GloryToChadlantis · 2022-10-04T23:00:55+00:00

If legal age didn't matter I would still hole to my age standards required to date.

It's about maturity and life experience also

AngelCrumb · 2022-10-04T23:08:41+00:00

.They’re infantilizing an adult and suggesting they know what’s best for them more Han they know what’s best for them.

Believe it or not OP, the brain isn't finished developing at 18. It's still in major development up until 23-25.

bootyhunter69420 · 2022-10-05T01:41:11+00:00

I just don't get it when people act like older dudes use Jedi mind tricks to get young girls to date them. Younger women go after older men because they think they are too mature for guys their age or they want the older dude to spend money on them

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-10-05T05:12:59+00:00

Age of consent is honestly arbitrary. One should evaluate the ability to have a consensual relationship. I’d say a 30 v 20, there is significant power difference and it’s not right

NOTSM · 2022-10-04T16:31:30+00:00

Being in different life stages can pose challenges. While I don't view a 30 year old dating a 20 year as "predatory" there are real practical differences in their life stages

The 20 year hasn't graduated college and should be looking to keep their options open professionally, which means being open to moving, not thinking about kids and starting to build a strong financial base. While I'd expect the 30 year old to be more stable and looking to settle down.

BeepBeepYeah7789 · 2022-10-04T16:46:28+00:00

When the younger person in a relationship is of legal age (and able to fully consent or not consent), there's no statutory rape, pedophilia or grooming going on.

However, a significant age gap COULD matter in other ways within the context of that relationship.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2022-10-04T21:42:58+00:00

The same guy who complains about this stuff will get pissed off when it's their barely 18 son or daughter dating some 50 year old who tells them to skip college and live with them. Or get pissed off if a nurse gets "together" with their senile old dad at the nursing home and starts draining his savings.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2022-10-04T16:53:22+00:00

Let's see if this opinion passes the "literally any other scenario that involves adult choices" sniff test.

People who complain about pineapple on pizza are doing one of 2 things

They’re infantilizing an adult and suggesting they know what’s best for them more Han [sic] they know what’s best for them.

Or they’re projecting their own insecurities into someone else’s love for pineapple on pizza

Oo the sniff test failed. Better luck next time.

Zookinni · 2022-10-04T22:03:15+00:00

The truth is you know there's an agenda for the older partner in a huge age gap relationship. Also, what do you mean by if legal? Why use 20/30 as an example instead of 20/10?

vogel777 · 2022-10-04T20:46:08+00:00

It does matter the older person will be exploitation the younger. Brain development isn't complete until 25. 30 and 25 is OK, 30 and 20 isn't. But kero telling yourself your all good to exploit very young people to gey yourself off, I think it's pathetic.

cuteTroublexo · 2022-10-04T17:42:57+00:00

I'm 27 and my bf is 38. I've only gotten hate from men, who see him on my story/posts, they attack him like "ew he's old". Even though he treats me really good and I'm happy, nah let's insult him because we're jealous.

The same way that older women attack other women for having an older bf.

I'm sure some relationships seem questionable.. like say a 25 yr old man dating a 57 yr old woman, my first thought would be "money", because a geriatric woman is not fertile and can't provide much, other than money, to a young man. Or mommy issues? Lol. Everything can be criticized, though.

My bf said a lot of women his age aren't hot or good looking, or have kids and are looking for a stepfather ASAP. He has kids and he gets that, but he'd rather take his time to develop something real, not be rushed into anything, and ofcourse a hot gf is preferred by all men.

Peacesquad · 2022-10-04T20:32:52+00:00

I like 18-24 year olds. Fertile women that are coachable and not a headache are very attractive

PM_Happy_Puppy_Pics · 2022-10-04T16:27:28+00:00

I think age does matter because by around 30, if women want children, they have to have everything lined up. That's a lot of pressure that men simply don't have. But that's only for making babies, if you're dating then yeah who cares, adults be adults, but no one is going to say that the 19 year old dating a 37 year old guy is on equal terms for a relationship, but for dating or whatever, who cares?

nemma88 · 2022-10-04T20:23:17+00:00

Would you really have no side eyes to give a 20yo guy dating a 30yo woman? I mean it does seem to be becoming more common and women have become more open to dating younger men, and men more open to dating older women in the last decade.

You can live with people giving you the side eye, its no big deal really. It occurs because its a surface level mismatch of perceived value, and while people continue to congratulate the elder party... Well they're right, right? One has exceeded their value.

If we believe one has exceeded their value, the other must be getting a bad deal.

You might say they’re in different places in their lives but so is everyone so who cares?

You might say they can’t relate but again you can apply that to anyone.

I'd think someone who was planning for the long haul and who didn't consider this to be naïve.

Of course navigating a different age of people is something to be aware of, you can't just say the same about anyone else because anyone in your own age cohort is more likely to be in the same place and more likely to be relatable. We group generations because they generally have similar views, cultures, popular activities, political/religious beliefs or otherwise within those groups. You probably don't like much of the same media or entertainment. Maybe different class of restaurants. There's more likely a larger gap in financials due to seniority of position, one more likely already has assets and the other does not (okay, less relevant with millennials), they like different cars and brands - probably stick with the ones that were popular when they were young adults. The younger party might want children and the older party might not want to / be able to or keep up.

Many of these things become less of an issue the older the youngest party is (and a lot of that is just energy and health tbh, you get older and your body starts bitch slapping you regardless of how in shape you are), this is probably why on the scale of longevity 40yo with 50yo is much more likely to go the distance than 20yo with 30yo.

Age gap relationships are fine as long as people don't disregard these things, you can't navigate the hurdles if you have your head in the clouds.

I'm fine infantizing an adult who isn't reasoning like an adult tbh. I mean most young adults are not worldly because it requires experience.

[Edit; prompted to look up the definition and

treat (someone) as a child or in a way which denies their maturity in age or experience.

Yeah... doesn't seem relevant as most advise is directed at young people without experience in the matter. Even the definition thinks age matters!]

Otherwise, I don't think anyone/a significant portion is saying they shouldn't be allowed to date, though they are judged.

antariusz · 2022-10-04T20:24:20+00:00

Newsflash for you: If you don't think adults don't think they know what is best for other adults and want to control other people's lives, then you slept through the past 2 years, authoritarian dictators (karens) abound. Go back to sleep.

trekkietln · 2022-10-05T09:22:01+00:00

All I can speak from is experience. I'm 39, my girlfriend is 20. We've been together for a year and when we first started dating she told me she specifically seeks out older men because she has always been longing for affection from an older man to make up for not receiving any love or affection from her father, who has been absent from her life ever since she was 3 years old. I love my girlfriend very much. I can say with certainty that she is the only woman that I have ever truly loved. And I very much enjoy being able to be that older male figure in her life who gives her that love and affection that she never had from her dad. Some people don't understand that. Some people think it's crazy weird. Her mother absolutely hates me. Which I find ironic because she (the mother) has a horrendous history when it comes to dating. She is almost always picked losers from what I understand. And now her daughter is happy and she can't stand that just because the man that her daughter loves (me) happens to be almost 20 years older and provides her with a fatherly love that she never got growing up, thanks to her mother choosing to have her with a man who is a piece of garbage that abandoned his own child. My girlfriend and I have a pretty good relationship. It's not perfect. No relationship ever is. But she seems genuinely happy with me. And I'm very happy with her. Our sex life is really good. I'm helping her financially through school so that she can become a nurse, that's always been her dream. So I think it all just depends on an individual case by case basis. You can't generalize about relationship with a big age Gap. Statistics do not apply to every single person for circumstance.

darkvalleys · 2022-10-04T16:39:15+00:00

It does, it’s just not of legal importance

ElectricBugs · 2022-10-05T06:23:42+00:00

Age does matter as it is an indicator of potential abuse/manipulation between the parties. If age doesn't matter than why don't men start fucking women heir age or dating the older women? Most men prefer women who are in their late teens or up to mid 20s. The only time men seem to want women who are older is if they are young and want an experienced woman. So stop pretending that age doesn't matter. It does. Of course it does.

thetacobitch · 2022-10-05T17:59:28+00:00

I think this stems from society not genuinely seeing 18 or 20 year olds as adults. And honestly I kind of agree. 18 year olds dating 40 year olds? It feels wrong. It’s not infantilizing anyone. It’s recognizing that they’re a teenager and their brain won’t be fully developed for years.

The decision making part of your brain isn’t done developing until around 25. Making people under that age more vulnerable to manipulation and abuse. Mix that with an almost certain power or financial imbalance in the relationship, and it’s just in general not a great scenario.

Once you’re older, I think it changes. My friend is 26 dating a 35 year old. We make small jokes here and these but no one thinks it’s creepy.

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ToberOct · 2022-10-04T19:33:51+00:00

Its 100% fine for any 18+ relationship as long as its not a toxic relationship.

gyxkid · 2022-10-04T21:08:39+00:00

Being humanistic is to see an individual instead of judging them by their age, race etc.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-10-04T21:37:48+00:00

not saying anything about how much it matters but it IS different between 20- 30 and 20-23

Danielwols · 2022-10-05T03:51:03+00:00

Even if it is legal it's awkward at least and downright creepy at most depending on how big the age gap is for example: a 20 year old and a 30 year old awkward but no real problem, a 20 year old and 40/50 years old is creepy because the 20 year old could be their child

2022-10-05T04:27:29+00:00

My ex and I are 16 years apart. I can assure you we were at different stages and levels in life. When we got together I just 18 was a senior in high school and he was well 34. I mean yeah we got along and had similar interest, but looking back that’s pretty weird. The fact he lived his life and was where he needed to be at and I barely even started mine was crazy to think about. I was still getting grounded for talking back, and he was sitting in his home paying off his mortgage. We last just about five years and then it became to much. I’m not going to bash him nor do I feel like it, but coming from a 23 year old female dating older men feels like dating a dad at time. My current boyfriend is five years older than me, and I feel like I can relate more to him and able to build a life with him. He has a career that’s awesome, but isn’t settling for what he already has.

gamerlololdude · 2022-10-05T04:34:27+00:00

If there was sufficient sex ed to ensure people of any age are only having consensual sex then you ideas would be valid but there is horrible sex ed around the world. People still do not understand consent and sexual and reproductive health

AshyTheVillain · 2022-10-05T08:55:58+00:00

I was 19 when a 39 year old asked me out. I thought I was able to handle myself and he seemed lovely so why not? I came from an age gap relationship.

Heres what happened. I left him because of all sorts of issues within the relationship including several allegations of SA or sexual harrasment coming out against him.

I was stalked and harrassed online and in person for 6 months. If it hadn't been for me having experienced stalking and abuse before I wouldn't have known what to do and I certainly wouldn't be around to talk about it.

I spoke up about this on my professional page which got lots of views and caught local media attention. Since then several victims came forward one of which was 17 talking about similar behaviour to what I experienced.

I was legally an adult, the 17 year old is legally imancipated here in the UK.

My own father was older than my mother's parents and guess what? He beat my mum when she got pregnant and still dates extremely young women.

Sure you can say age doesn't matter till the cows come home, but that doesn't acknowledge that older people going after people a decade younger than them when those younger people are <25 is predatory. They are going after someone with much less experience on purpose.

I was never groomed, but I was certainly manipulated which can happen to any adult. But there is definitely a pattern of older people going after rounder people and it's not a coincidence.

It is so RARE for an age gap relationship like that to go well. Its not infantilising someone to say, hey someone who goes after another person with less experience is certainly odd and frowned upon.

People at 20 still don't have fully developed brains and that does impact how relationships go. An 18 year old is an adult but they are a young adult. I was considered 'mature' by family and friends and I still fell into a trap like that.

I'm currently dating a 23 year old. The experiences between my current bf and my ex is completely and I can relate to my current partner much more. There is better communication and overall we get on better because there are more similarities and we get to explore the world together and build our own new experiences.

Final_Philosopher663 · 2022-10-05T11:33:10+00:00

For the comments saying about countries with age of consent <16 I am truly astonished. Kids below 16 years of age are not able to consent. This stems from their brains ( i believe frontal lobe) not being mature enough to handle such decisions and there have been studies about that. Even if the child gives consent it shouldn't matter in the court.

2022-10-05T15:04:31+00:00

My grandparents had an age difference of 8 years. They were married 21/29 respectively. My mother is 10 years the senior of her partner and I’m 6 year older than my partner. If you look at people in the public eye however you see much larger age gaps. A lot of celebrities have an older/younger spouse or partner that if they were just everyday people would have a finger pointed at them. It’s portrayed as something desirable in some cases but wrong in other (Tommy Lee 60 & Brittany Furlan 36 for example) to an end my friends joke and quote parks and rec that the golden rule is half your age plus seven.

dottywine · 2022-10-05T17:13:57+00:00

They're an adult on paper, but not by how they actually live their life. It's the idea that someone wants the most naive person they can legally be with that's gross.

LWJ748 · 2022-10-06T14:21:22+00:00

I'm married to a woman my own age so I'm not an advocate of age gap dating. That said some of the commenters putting people that find an 18 year old attractive into the same category as someone that diddles a toddler is disgusting. You're helping lesson stigmas we need in society to protect actual children.

Banestar66 · 2022-10-06T23:10:16+00:00

Would disagree it doesn’t matter but I find it so weird how disgusted older women are by younger men even as they admit to having dated older when they were younger.

dmttao · 2022-10-09T14:00:47+00:00

Honestly, I was highly suspicious on men dating much younger women (23yo and younger) - until I unexpectedly/unwittingly connected with young men when I was in my 30s.

Not saying age gaps are nothing to worry about — the suspicion is probably functional and it’s good to be protective of vulnerable people and keep an eye out.

But I was surprised to find as a woman in her 30s that I could be attracted to much younger men. Bit disturbing at first and certainly something I was hesitant about, but it made me a lot less judgmental about age gaps in general. (Though I do think anybody who finds themselves unable to connect with anybody unless there’s a huge age gap should explore why. I do think that’s something well worth exploring psychologically - and not cos “uR a CReEP” and it’s wrong. But because you’ll be able to connect with people better if you explore the issue.)

Title	CMV: If legal, age doesn’t matter
Author	FutureBannedAccount2
Upvotes	58
Comments	454
Date	October 4, 2022 4:08 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xvj2f2/cmv_if_legal_age_doesnt_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-if-legal-age-doesnt-matter.1135115 https://theredarchive.com/post/1135115