CMV: Men see younger men as other men, where women see younger women as little children. This is at the core of many disagreements on PPD.

0DarkFlirty · 2023-04-07T15:30:50+00:00

Hypo agency vs Hyper agency. Everyone sees Men as having more agency regardless of race, creed, orientation, or political views. Tangentially related to male disposability and why you have multiple examples of underage boys having to pay child support. Can't change, won't change, it's ingrained in our DNA. Collect 200 and pass Go.

jellyroll8 · 2023-04-07T16:00:08+00:00

the "age of adulthood" has been increasing in people's minds simply because we live in a cozy first world country. people are allowed to be children for as long as they want now, so there is nothing forcing us to be mature or responsible adults. the idea that one is only an "adult" when they hit their mid 20s is an incredibly recent idea that is only allowed to occur in the first place because people are too comfortable. the reason why this idea is more pronounced with females is because females are just generally seen as more vulnerable and more needing of protection than males

HighlyFlashy · 2023-04-07T16:52:05+00:00

Men definitely do this though but only when they are trying to benefit from it. Usually when an older man is trying to get into a relationship with a younger woman, he compares himself to younger men to try to make himself sound like an appealing option. These are all the things older men have said to me to try to convince me to give them a chance:

-“Guys your age are little boys.”

-“Older men are more mature and don’t play childish games.”

-“We’re more sexually experienced and don’t insert something about stamina or how younger men supposedly don’t focus on a woman’s pleasure here like boys your age.”

-“I can do more for you than the boys your age can”.

Not once has an older man who has approached me recognized younger men as “men”. Only “boys” and “guys”. And I know a bunch of women here can attest to this as most of us have heard these things, even as minors. Men definitely do see younger men as children, but that’s because they know younger men are their competition when it comes to getting with younger women. So yes older men certainly do put down and infantilize younger men. The part that always made me giggle is they’ll talk badly about guys my age and go on and on about their immaturity, but they want to date me. The jokes write themselves.

But in general, from what I see (normal) older people of either gender tend to see younger people as inexperienced or immature without ill intent or personal gain.

SouthBendNewcomer · 2023-04-07T21:15:03+00:00

It's kind of funny to read all of these commenters saying how they don't really think of younger women as children when I have seen so freaking many commenters on age gap relationships in the relationship subs and twoxchromosomes call the dude in the relationship a literal pedophile and get hundreds of upvotes for it.

Flightlessbirbz · 2023-04-07T18:56:40+00:00

I look at younger women and men alike as younger women and men. Meaning that they aren’t children, and yes they have personal agency. But they’re also young, which means less experience and greater vulnerability. Nuance is important here.

And men might say an 18 yr old they want to sleep with is a “grown woman,” but their daughter sure won’t be at that age. Let’s be real.

Oli_love90 · 2023-04-07T17:36:17+00:00

I think women just think back to how they felt when they were younger. We’ve seen the good/bad side of dating older men, additionally a lot of women have also been harassed by older men in some capacity as well. Some women blindly fell for an older guy who was manipulative some relationships worked out well despite skepticism, unfortunately we see the former a lot so it’s healthy to be a little bit wary of those types of dynamics. Its simply feeling protective, like we do friends.

I feel like a lot of women’s social behavior is villanized because there’s a complete lack of understanding in how women interact with each other. Not everything women do is in an effort to be vindictive or patronizing.

princess8inch · 2023-04-07T16:08:51+00:00

no, it's because younger men with older women is rarer than the other one both in media and irl for people to notice, if all women implied 15 year olds were more attractive than 30 year olds(like a signififcant amount of men do) then this would be talked about more irl.

KayRay1994 · 2023-04-07T17:40:00+00:00

this is hilarious cause some men (but many on this sub) tend to infantilize women 9/10 times but when it comes to sleeping with someone much younger its suddenly all about how young women are being infantilized - posts like this are such self reports

Chemical-System-4655 · 2023-04-07T16:26:58+00:00

I think any older person can see how immature and vulnerable a younger person can be because they're just starting out. I don't go out of my way to protect anyone but older women can detect predatory behavior better than a younger woman would because we've been there.

satisfiedmind- · 2023-04-07T17:53:20+00:00

This is about emotional intelligence, emotional maturity and experience. Of course older women don’t see younger women as “little children”. We do see them as very vulnerable where men are concerned, but definitely not like children in all areas of life. Young women can be very competent in all areas of life, might be planning, maybe tech, financially responsible, project managing etc. But in terms of romance they are extremely vulnerable.

First consider how valuable they are sexually. Anything that is highly valuable is very vulnerable to criminal activity. People want a piece of it, and will go about that selfishly. However women of this age are often experiencing strong feelings and sexual desires for the first time, they are very inexperienced. They’re more likely to give a guy the benefit of the doubt, more likely to be a big idealistic and not figured out quite who they are yet. Hormones at that age are so powerful. The woman is more likely to be highly motivated to fuck and not thinking with her frontal cortex. This combination combined contributes to a high amount of violence against women. This is why we are protective of these women.

As we age we see it happen to our friends or it happens to us. We learn the signs, we don’t give as many second chances, we know the feeling of lust will eventually dissipate. We just know a bit more about the world.

Definitely not that as simplistic as seeing these women as children.

AstronautLoveShack · 2023-04-07T15:27:25+00:00

Yes, at age 50 I do see college-aged women as children, relatively speaking. I also see college-aged men as children, relatively speaking. So when a 50-something of either gender tries to engage an 18-year old (of either gender) who is either still in high school or just barely out of it, I'm repulsed. Not sorry.

RatchedAngle · 2023-04-07T17:00:20+00:00

Why don’t men want to protect young men from crazy women?

There are plenty of young men who are paying child support for the next 18 years to batshit crazy women. Young men who have been the victims of paternity fraud, baby trapping, verbal/mental/physical abuse from women. Young men who can’t see their kids because their baby mamas engage in parental alienation.

Why the FUCK wouldn’t men want to protect each other from this fate?

You’re really telling me if you had an 18-year-old brother who was dating an obviously-crazy woman and having sex with her, you wouldn’t step in and try to help him? Prevent him from making a dumb mistake?

If your answer is “no he’s a grown adult I won’t disrespect him by treating him like a child” then I can only conclude you don’t care about other men.

In which case men need to stop whining about things like paternity fraud, baby trapping, parental alienation, etc.

If you won’t even protect each other then there’s no motivation for women to care about your issues.

Early-Christmas-4742 · 2023-04-07T16:45:08+00:00

The core of most disagreements here is this type of black and white thinking.

Younger people are less mature and jave kess experience. That doesn't make them the same as children. It doesn't make them the same as older adults.

grown_folks_talkin · 2023-04-07T20:50:29+00:00

At a societal level we want people to be looks-matching and status-matching. Age gap relationships and passportbroism violate that.

Also, there’s a disgust most have toward a person who sires/bears many children from different parents. This is more likely to happen when men figure out the secret and let nature take over, but women with 5 babydaddys are also shamed. An older man is more likely to have “figured out the secret”. Shame is a method of keeping him in check.

I don’t back these opinions personally.

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-04-07T22:43:13+00:00

This is observation bias based on the type of women who participate here. I actually think the men on PPD have a wider variety of views here whereas the women on PPD seem to all have similar outlooks. This is simply because women in general don’t participate as much on Reddit and the ones who do may be of a particular bent.

Age gaps are not as stigmatized as they seem here on PPD. Part of the problem is that men who want to date their own age are often dating women who are better educated and are on average more accomplished than men of the same age. These men will just date younger women instead. Some women here who are older on PPD see this as men who are deadbeats and may be resentful because they think that these men can re up on young women as they continue to get older rather than eventually settling with someone like themselves who they see as being higher value than these young women.

Men wouldn’t be dating as many younger women as they do now if older women dated more men their age. But statistically women do not like a considerable amount of men their own age and to be fair, that is not the man’s fault typically. So men date younger women because a young partner is still better than no partner. And it’s a lie that men have to just improve themselves to appeal to women their own age. They just don’t a lot of the time.

The irony is that young women are more likely to want a casual relationship so it makes no sense to demonize older men who just want sex with young women. They are seen as exploitative if they are not marrying women who probably aren’t mature enough for marriage. But at the same time a lot of young women naively date older men because they think they are more serious and thus more likely to want a family.

edjohn88 · 2023-04-08T00:52:33+00:00

What cracks me up is how women love to brag that they grow up faster but when 18 year old boys are man enough to bleed in a trench for their safety, what are 18 year old girls expected to do?

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2023-04-08T01:26:40+00:00

I'm 24 and I definitely think of most people 18-20 man or woman not as a child, but definitely considerably more naive. Therefore very susceptible to being taken advantage of. After you've lived with people/away from your parents for 2 years you mature ALOT.

I just feel like 18-20 y/o chicks are off limits. After that do whatever you want.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-07T16:39:35+00:00

I'm near 30 and I see both college-aged men and women as children in the sense that they lack necessary maturity and wisdom to be swimming in the deep end. And yes, I think I should leave both alone and I think both should be let alone to learn by other adults.

I see this as very much like belts in martial arts. Yes, a white belt is a martial artist. That doesn't mean I'd suggest, encourage, recommend, or not entirely criticize or frown upon them having a super fight with a brown belt. Just because someone is allowed and welcomed into a new part of life and society does not mean we treat them as experts or equals. And yes, I would criticize and bluntly call the brown belt a predator if they acted like this was ok, no big deal, and they're basically equals because they're both training martial arts. Sure, but one of you has been training for ten years and one of you just put on the funny pajamas.

And the idea that men look at other very young men like they aren't children in the sense of lacking necessary maturity and wisdom, is probably a great deal of why young men are struggling so much these days. You all leave each other to the wolves and act like having a ball-busting job will teach you everything worth knowing about life. This is insanity. No wonder men are struggling so badly that they have to wait until their late 30s to predate on young women or have an older woman predate upon them.

LordPeppino · 2023-04-07T15:47:00+00:00

I will stop supporting age gap relationship IF we treat younger women as a REAL children with no right to vote, open bank accounts, etc.

It's ridiculous that a 22yo is immature to decide who to fuck... but she is an adult to decide which politician will fuck us all.

gate18 · 2023-04-07T16:04:04+00:00

That's why young men are suffering and young women aren't.

But you don't care about that. No one does. As long as it's not about hating women, no one cares.

If any of them chose to have sex with an older woman, I would assume that they were capable of making that choice. Like many men, I remember working those brutal jobs when I was a young man, and I remember what I was capable of doing at that time

That doesn't mean anything. And, no, you do not remember. Memories aren't reliable. But sure, because you think you can remember, none of those men can dare say they got raped by older women - no, they should just thank their lucky stars.

Women seem to have no such respect for younger women. Plenty of women, including on PPD, will say explicitly that they think of college-aged women as children.

Men don't have respect about young men either. They just use them to score points.

(Ask 100 men over the age of 50 whether they think 20-year-old men are kids -don't ask them leading questions just that, and see what they say. And ask them individually, when alone)

1Here4Bach · 2023-04-07T15:30:04+00:00

Males love being disingenuous and purposefully obtuse. Women don’t see younger women has children. For some reason, males think as soon as a woman turns 18 she gains the maturity, foresight and wisdom of a 45 year old woman. You know good and well that the majority 18 - 22 year olds don’t know shit about the real world. That goes for both males and women. So for an older person to offer them guidance or advice doesn’t mean we see them as children.

You can acknowledge someone is an adult and still know their maturity level and decision making isn’t where it need to be in order for them to lead successful and fulfilling lives.

Common_Passenger_335 · 2023-04-07T19:34:40+00:00

You forget that we also see young men as children. Understanding of the world of 19 yo men is extremely naive and their confidence doesn't help if you try to ration with them. I'm not saying that young people can't be good at things, if they are talented they can easily be experts. But they just simply don't have enough experience to be able to conduct a social analysis and see this in a more nuanced way. So yeah, members of both genders, of every subculture and every sexual orientation are naive in their early twenties. Doesn't mean that their experience are not important, it just means they are going to change their minds a lot in the future.

Maybe women see young people as children because they can recognise the growth they've done themselves.

Chemical-System-4655 · 2023-04-07T22:25:08+00:00

But I thought the higher success rates in relationships are the ones where the couple is closest to their age difference- there's a reason for that

zaph239 · 2023-04-08T09:49:02+00:00

It is much simpler than that, it is pure jealously. Biology gives women massive sexual power in their youth because men are biologically programmed to desire young fertile women. The kick in the teeth, is a women's value in the dating marketplace declines rapidly as she ages.

This causes resentment and bitterness, which is compounded by the lie feminism tells them. That they should get more desirable as they age, that men should want them for their maturity and career success.

Alass sex is driven by biological drives, it is never going to work that way.

Sabrepill · 2023-04-08T18:00:43+00:00

It doesn’t matter how mad anyone gets when there is an age gap or inter-racial relationship, it’s going to happen and there is nothing they can do other than talk shit and make faces.

These types of people are basically haters who project their own narrow morality on to the world, but the world doesn’t care about their opinion.

Do you think 65 year old Mel gibson ever thought to himself: “you know these angry women and low T men on Reddit are correct to be mad that I impregnated a 25 year old. I better end the relationship since I’m 40 years older.”

No, he doesn’t care. These hateful people are left to stew in their own disapproval

That__EST · 2023-04-07T17:40:52+00:00

When I dated an older man as a very early 20 something, my mother and the other women in my family were delighted. They saw me as acting more maturely than my peers and seeking out a man who was ready to settle down.

It was the men in my family who were wary, and my grandfather who I trust very much, who sat me down to ask me why this amazing mid 30s man was single and never married. My grandfather asked me to consider whether this man liked me, or if he liked my youth. And if he liked younger women, would I ever age out of his demographic?

Right now I have a younger cousin who is interested in an older guy. And again I'm seeing the women in my family get excited and see very near future wedding bells, while the older and trusted men in the family are sighing and giving each other side eyes.

I don't think it's women who care as much as the men who love and care for the younger woman in the equation. But if an older man's intentions are good in the relationship, it'll all come out in the wash so I wouldn't worry about it.

gymbronyc718 · 2023-04-07T16:03:32+00:00

I'm going to leave this here which encapsulates how women feel about personal responsibility:

https://imgur.com/a/NpaInvq

Safinated · 2023-04-07T16:30:08+00:00

Nope, we see them as our younger selves

y2kjanelle · 2023-04-07T18:16:01+00:00

Not at all. Women don’t see me as a child, they just give a fuck about other people and like to offer advice. Men don’t care about other people as much and are alot more individualistic so they’ll let anyone walk into a not so great situation OR a situation they should think VERY carefully about without saying anything or even caring.

That’s why men are struggling so much these days in social settings. It’s why when men throw tantrums they isolate themselves to groups and make mantras like “enjoy the decline” getting pleasure out of everyone else suffering.

FUCK THAT. I’d much rather have older women giving me advice, helping me make informed decisions and caring about how my life turns out than to be a man where no one wants to help or give guidance on big life decisions.

And I mention big life decisions because most women don’t really care about young women having sex with older men, they care about young women having intimate, serious relationships with older men.

What is so evil about older mature women who actually understand young women more to speak up when they feel the need to? And I’ve never had an older woman tell me exactly what to do or force me to do anything, they often just share their own experience.

So sincerely, to everyone who shares the OP’s rhetoric,

STAY AWAY FROM YOUNG PEOPLE. It’s clear people with this mindset are the actual infantilizing idiots because they WANT people to be as ignorant and inexperienced as a child with no help. So leave us alone. We’re already wanting to explore and leave the coop and try new things. That’s what a young person does. Having help along the way isn’t a fucking crime.

Not to say there aren’t older women glaring at me sometimes when I wear a sexy outfit out or talk about men in public or something. Of course. Not to say there aren’t older women who would judge young women exploring their sexuality.’

But at least a lot of the time they’re actually wanting to help and give guidance. Beats being left alone to figure everything out.

And don’t snap at me saying I’m some old hag. I just turned 21 (well maybe that’s aging out for some men here) and genuinely appreciate older women giving advice especially since they’re usually right. Older men do not have good intentions with very young women in 99% of cases. That’s a hill I’m ready to die on.

Individual-Fan8787 · 2023-04-07T22:46:28+00:00

i am asian and what i say probably only applies to asian women, but here in asia, as women age their list of demands actually get longer. thus many men go for younger women not because they are looking for a young piece of ass but because the older women are asking for crazy things like "i want $10,000 maintenance per month minimum and a BMW and a house under my SOLE name, not joint name" (asian women name their 'price' up front).

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2023-04-07T16:16:10+00:00

One key difference is men dont get manipulated or tricked to have sex with Men are masters at this they'd do anything to have sex and that includes mabipulating barely legal girls who dont kbow yet about all those manipulations

JNRoberts42 · 2023-04-07T15:51:55+00:00

Older women see younger women as our younger selves, like little sisters.

Older see young men as competition who could kick their asses and steal their bored wives, therefore equal.

Stunning_Thing4208 · 2023-04-07T19:26:37+00:00

This whole agency thing is an online meme.

barkwoofgrowl · 2023-04-07T20:48:05+00:00

This is what you said in response to me saying older people going after someone who has just turned 18 is creepy.

I just wanna point out that plenty of women under 25 view Leonardo Dicaprio as a creep, and view older guys going after a lot younger women as weird. It's not just women over 25.

That being said, there have been many women who dated older guys when they were 18/19 and then years later when they have more life experience realised these guys were creeps. These women don't have a lack of respect for women who are under 25, it's out of concern because 18 year olds do lack life experience and mental maturity. Yes, 18 year olds are legal adults, but it's not like you wake up on your 18th birthday a completely different person to who you were the day before. Would you find the idea of 30 year olds going after 17 year olds weird? Then you should see why lots of people find 30 year olds going after 18 year olds weird even though they are both legal adults.

Men, on the other hand, see younger men as other men.

There are also many men who view school boys who get statutory raped by their female teachers as 'lucky'.

Also, your brain doesn't stop maturing until about 25. That's why people older than 25 view 18 year olds as children, because the majority of 18 year olds aren't as mature as someone who is, let's say, 30. Some 30 year olds have the maturity of 18 year olds, but that is not a flex.

chatterfly · 2023-04-07T23:11:32+00:00

Okay so this statement is so wild and simply... idk ridiculous? Is that the correct adjective? Anyway, it's such a hot take so I assume you have some data to back this up, so please share your sources as I am highly interested in this social phenomenon.

LupeDyCazari · 2023-04-07T23:48:37+00:00

No, it's not really that.

I see younger men as men because they are men.

If a guy is at my height and weight, or taller and heavier regardless of how young or old he is, then I see him as a man, and I see him as a potential threat to my well-being(remember that violence is mostly done by men, even if it's done onto other men) whereas, I have never been physically afraid of a woman before, especially since most of them around me are pretty skinny and short.

I do not believe that women see younger women as being children. What I beleive is that women don't like each other much, and the older a woman gets, the less she likes other women, and especially the less she likes younger women.

For years I have been a guest at several relationship forums, and these relationship forums are mostly populated by the baby boomers, and these relationship forums are moderated by baby boomers, and even by those who are old enough to be the parents of baby boomers, and one thing I noticed is how baby boomers have little patience for younger people.

These people in the golden years of their lives are rude, annoying, aggressive, controlling, and they don't allow freedom of speech.

There's this mod who locks down every thread based on how she feels for the person who started the thread, it's hilarious, and I've seen women in their sixties being catty and emotionally abusive to women who are young enough to be their daughters.

The other day I legit saw a cat fight between a middle-aged woman and a woman in her thirties, with the middle-aged woman calling the younger woman a skank, pretty much, calling her easy and saying that she is wrong and vile for having sex with men she is not married to.

I feel like the boomers wish they could be in their 30s again, and the women in their 30s wish they could be in their early 20s again, because that's at the age most men are fucking simps and will grab their nutsack across a sea of shattered glass, if that gets them noticed by a woman, whereas there's tons of dudes in their 30s who got some, figured it's not the end-all of everything, and just focus on their career, or on themselves, like dudes working part-time and playing video games and all that jazz.

Women in their 30s see women in their 20's as being children. Women in their 40s see women in their 30s as being immature and childish and so on and so forth.

Bro, there's a reason why women don't like women very much and why you see a lot more women who have only men as friends - and I'm not talking about a woman purposedly getting only male friends to gather herself an army of simps - than I see women with only women as friends.

ThanosSnapsSlimJims · 2023-04-07T23:50:38+00:00

I'm a guy. I see anyone under 25 as a child. That's not meant as an insult. They haven't hit their first quarter of life yet. They deserve to get to have their childhood and make their mistakes. I have no problem if people disagree on tha point.

harmonica2 · 2023-04-08T01:08:46+00:00

What about how older men see young women? Do they agree with women that women are little children, compared to young men?

Or do older women see young men as little children as well? I am also a guy and I was able to make decisions on who to date and have sex with before I turned 25.

So does this mean that young men are more capable of consent and sexually mature faster than women do, if people think young women cannot?

Netheral · 2023-04-08T03:52:36+00:00

I think the core of every age gap disagreement on PPD is predicated on the fact that the "gap" isn't clearly defined at any given moment. Like, someone will define it one moment, but then going forward everyone has the best/worst case scenario in mind for their/the other's argument respectively.

And then there's the issue that "age of relationship" isn't defined and some people probably consider that while others are just considering the numbers as if they just entered the relationship.

I don't think a 19 year old dating a 26 is too far out there. But if they've already been dating for 3 years? That's a different story.

I most vehemently disagree with a take someone had in a different thread today, "you want to make it so complicated when in reality it isn't". It is a fairly complicated matter because there are so many factors involved. Like, of course it's simple if you only consider the 50+ year old creeps that are lurking on the sub 20 year olds. But that's not a definite range of what constitutes "age gap" relationships.

Especially when you start considering individual cases. 9 years might seem like a lot between a 20 year old and a 29 year old experience wise, but if that 29 year old has for example either been working through trauma a large part of their adult lives, or just been coasting in some job/s since college, then the difference in life experience might just be the number of cycles they've been through.

There's also the part where "experience" is so often framed as a negative. As if the older party is automatically a predator seeking to use their "greater experience" to prey on the "inexperience" of the younger. Meanwhile most of the meaningful difference in experience between the two will be just... ways to deal with living better... which most would probably consider a positive to have in a partner, right?

begayallday · 2023-04-08T04:27:43+00:00

I’ve been around teenagers. I’ve raised a kid who is now an adult, and I’ve had coworkers who ranged in age from 16-19. There is not much on this planet that is less sexually appealing to me than a teenager. Gender does not matter. It may be legal, depending on age of consent laws where one lives, but that doesn’t make it not totally creepy.

I watched an 18 year old male former coworker of mine tape together four rulers, end to end, and then pretend it was a lightsaber, for godssake. He was a great kid, and I enjoyed working with him, but he was definitely only an adult in a legal sense. Girls of that age generally act more mature, but that doesn’t mean they’re fully functioning adults quite yet. I worry about anyone who is still in their teens dating someone significantly older.

The older the parties are, the less concerning I find it to be. A 35 year old and a 50 year old are not a big deal to me, but an 18 year old with a 33 year old is a totally different story.

Excellent_Badger123 · 2023-04-08T07:14:05+00:00

A 25 year old woman isn’t a child IMO - she’s an adult and certainly should be capable of making her own choices & sexual/partner decisions.

Age gaps only matter to the specific people involved in the relationship - unless it’s a coercive pedophile/rape/incest situation. And I know women who went through this as actual children. Those are tragic stories of outright abuse, not regretful mistakes.

I personally never dated or mated with men who were more than a year younger than me, not now (even if I was single) and not ever in my distant youthful past. The maturity gap was huge but I had agency and a job to support myself fully at age 16.

Different times, different generations, maybe.

metasekvoia · 2023-04-07T16:47:45+00:00

College girls are responsible adults if they choose older men, but they are stupid hoes on their way to used-up roasties if they choose chad?

BigVulvaEnergy · 2023-04-07T16:23:31+00:00

Nah, I see younger men as children, too.

YuekiXC · 2023-04-07T17:21:30+00:00

I remember working those brutal jobs when I was a young man, and I remember what I was capable of doing at that time.

Exactly. I never worked a blue collar job before the military, but those moments when it was just the guys, all tired as fuck, working throughout the day without food sometimes, it's something that most women will never understand

Atomic_Thr0away · 2023-04-07T22:08:05+00:00

Women think it's their job to "protect the infants/vulnerable" from the threats of the world, mainly men.

Jordan Peterson has said that women put people into one of three categories.

Infant
Caregiver of infants
Threat

This becomes more obvious once they have children but it seems to me that even young (early 20's) childless women play this game.

This game gives them immense power because they can switch between hero and victim masks quickly to always avoid being seen at the villain and avoiding accountability at all costs.

The "infant" can be children, but it can be full grown adult women, the elderly, the vulnerable, the disabled, minority groups and the infant doesn't even have to be a person. It can be animals, it can be the environment.

Being a caregiver gives that caregiver power/authority because you can't be responsible for something without having a commensurate measure of authority over it. And women always think other women are the best and default caregivers. This is wild because if you say "ok, women are responsible for the caring and rearing of children" they fucking LOOSE THEIR MINDS. But when free of "expectations/obligation", they naturally take that role.

This power also gives them the "right" to decide who else gets to join in on the caregiving and that person must PROVE themselves to HER to even be allowed in as a sort of quasi 'assistant caregiver'... while she gets to be "head caregiver". She gets to be the 'decider', essentially 'the boss' and she gets to do this without any objective qualifications besides making statements that she "cares".

This also giver her the power to "fire" those that she deems a threat. And she can do this arbitrarily (without cause). You don't even have to be a threat. If you are seen as not providing enough, she'll fire you and act like you're a threat. This allows her to keep you at a distance and can have the effect of making someone try even harder to prove their worthiness to the almighty "Queen Caregiver"

It's really sickening when women do this to other ADULT women. It reduces the target to an infant, without her own agency, all under the guise of "caring and protecting."

And this is usually just based off the "caregivers" thoughts and perceptions of how she would do things.

So yeah, when a woman sees a woman with a man, ANY MAN, she's also calculating the quality of that man. She's never looking for "what's right" (the good stuff). She's only looking for "what's wrong". This makes sense to because she's not involved with that man and she certainly can't experience how the other woman feels about and experiences that man. The target woman can be completely in love with that man, but since the 'caregiver' isn't experiencing that, she feels that the target is being "duped", that she's getting "tricked" and "manipulated" and "isn't thinking right".

The 'caregiver' will be watching this mans behavior for what she might consider a 'problem'. She'll be counting his beers, watching his manners... she's going to be looking for all the things that women SAY they want in a man - at a high level those things are "honesty, generosity, gracefulness, authenticity" - notice, these are all the things that SHE THINKS SHE IS, so then she thinks that gives her the right to be a judge. It doesn't matter if she just got done snorting cocaine off the toilet tank whilst being fucked from behind in the bathroom stall, she still things she's a "good person" with the ability AND RIGHT to judge other people's behavior.

This is yet another reason I can't bring myself to date anymore. Not only do I have to prove myself worthy to her, apparently I have to prove myself to her friends and family and hell, maybe even her Doctor (another caregiver role).

This world is fucking FULL of 'caregiver' junkies. Always running around trying to 'protect' and 'care' about some perceived victim/infant.

This is solipsism. A woman projects her own thoughts, feelings, wants, desires, boundaries, standards and perceptions onto the world. And if people aren't behaving in a manner that she deems acceptable, then they are put in the 'threat' category. Well, when it comes to men, they START in the THREAT category and must 'perform' and prove that he's worthy.

Just like hypergamy, I believe ALL women have this infant, caregiver, threat system to some degree.

If she once dated an older man and felt 'ripped off' she's thinking something like "he's getting the better deal" so that automatically makes the woman the "victim" that's getting the "bad deal." She doesn't have to know anything else about either of them. This is why Leonardo DiCaprio catches so much shit. It all comes from the women that are VERY HEAVILY into the whole infant/caregiver/threat system.

This is why, I think, it's just a whole hell of a lot safer for men to run things. Women will run around looking for the next infant and then seek to eliminate the perceived threat to that infant.

There are some women that can 'catch' themselves and think "this isn't any of my business" but that's like telling themselves "no" and... well, what are your experiences with telling women "no"... And of course this is getting worse because they 'get away' with it.

You're right, other men see other men and we give them respect. We don't start trying to tell other men how to live and behave. No man is going to 'correct' another man on his manners and etiquette, unless he's begging for a punch in the face. Men don't try to 'protect' other men unless asked directly for help. Then, most men will spring into action.

It wasn't women that came up with the constitution of the US. I don't think they could have come up with such ideas about personal freedom AND responsibility. I don't think they could have come up with "life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" because there's too much personal responsibility in real freedom. Most woman naturally lean left in their politics. In other words, women are natural socialists. They want the group to 'share'. And of course, this makes sense if you can't be at or near the top. By being socialist, they think they're voice should be just as important as "everyone else" but that's idea goes right out the window if she achieves more power than others. Now she's glad to have a hierarchy. Now she gets to be the queen hen.

It's women that are nosy. It's women that are the amateur spies. Women love gossip. They act like it's not about social status, they act like they're doing it because they 'care'. It's disgusting.

DicamVeritatem · 2023-04-07T16:10:23+00:00

Corollary - Women feel threatened by younger women, in a way which men are not threatened by younger men.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2023-04-07T21:47:36+00:00

This narrative of the jealous older woman has been potrayed by men in media through all the old disney films. It's really tired.

I wish for once, us women could control our own narrative.

mystery1nc · 2023-04-07T22:17:26+00:00

The way this post is -so close- to the point women are making and yet just misses it entirely is absolutely hilarious.

carlenvirgo · 2023-04-07T23:37:49+00:00

As an older adult woman I see younger women as far more mature than younger men. Men in general aren’t as emotionally intelligent. Young men in general, would rather have sex and use women of all ages, rather than commit.

Older men that chase younger women are looking for ego validation because they are getting older, losing their ability to perform and use their finances as a tool to buy women into sleeping with them as well as using them as a trophy.

Younger men that chase older women are generally more mature than their male counterparts but they too usually are looking for either sex or to use older women for their finances.

The age gap fails for many reasons statistically. Usually it’s based on a relationship built on a mutual understanding to validate, as opposed to true love and actual compatibility.

Basically those who are involved in large age gap relationships are just using each other in some way. There’s more selfish intentions associated with large age gaps too.

SkatemanJohn · 2023-04-07T15:47:01+00:00

We all see young people as childish. Personally I'm a believer in the half your age + 7 rule but if I see a 40 year old woman go for a 20 year dude I don't freak out and here's why. I'm not out of eggs and jealous about it.

Blitted_Master · 2023-04-07T17:41:19+00:00

It’s just shaming and attempting to manipulate basic biology. Common tactics

womandatory · 2023-04-08T06:50:00+00:00

No, we see young women as we saw ourselves at that age. We see them as strong and building independence, but often also being predated upon, abused, and infantilized (by red pill men - “the oldest child in the house”) and we will do anything to protect them from that predation and abuse.

Red pill literally refers to wives and partners as “the oldest child in the house”.

Stop projecting.

waffleznstuff30 · 2023-04-07T16:22:47+00:00

I am 32f

I see college age 18-22 year olds of both genders as kids. We don't share the same life experiences they are only now just experiencing adulthood where I have been in it for a decade we aren't the same. It's not to say I don't respect them they are people but they are young and need to grow and experience life and they are making decisions for themselves. They will have youthful ambitions and big ideas but haven't been hit by the reality and the soullessness of adulthood. Its something that comes with time.

When I look for a partner I want someone who shares the same experience in life. Someone who has been there done that has realistic expectations on things and knows what we are getting into. I'm not going to find that with someone 10 years my junior.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2023-04-07T19:40:59+00:00

Basically, if a woman is under 25, most women will see her as a child who is incapable of making her own decisions.

It's amazing how much lots of women perpetuate blatant sexism and refuse to acknowledge it.

Gleefulpride · 2023-04-07T16:46:16+00:00

I heard that women don’t learn accountability until they lose their looks. So not just according to women but also according to men the women under 25 are children bc of how society treats their youth and beauty and caters to them allowing them to escape accountability.

lolmastr13 · 2023-04-07T20:03:23+00:00

Actually I think it’s that women see sex as inherently degrading by default

Worldly_Piano9526 · 2023-04-07T23:25:42+00:00

Sure, except they aren't children, they are adults, and the women who pretend that adults are children are doing so because they are old, jealous, and trying to destroy the young woman's sexual access taking their man as a spoil of war.

It's not because they are trying to protect anyone, they don't give a fuck about those women, they are trying to get a leg up and desperately fight off the wall for as long as possible as their biological clock runs out.

It's the old lady version of slut shaming. Ruin a woman's reputation and then move in on her man. Of course; the old ladies are also bigger slut shamers than the young ones too... Hmm... I wonder why...

Ironically; this behavior makes them bigger sluts and more like children than the women that they are attacking. Talk about throwing stones in glass houses...

social_mule · 2023-04-07T17:40:34+00:00

Wrong. Men see younger men as competition and women also see younger women as competition.

The difference is despite our male pattern baldness and beer bellies older men can leverage our relative success (relative to less successful younger men) to somewhat even the playing field because younger women are more likely to ooh and ahh over a primary residence without roommates or a restaurant with cloth napkins.

And this bothers older women because in the world of 40-50 somethings this is the bare minimum yet younger, prettier women are impressed by it. They'll never admit this so they mask their outrage as concern for these poor naive grown ass women. It's the same as their faux concern for those poor, downtrodden third world peasant girls who are the receptacles for so much Yankee doodle semen.

Older women are also more successful than younger women but it's much more difficult for a woman to use her success as leverage to the same extent a successful man can which is why no man has ever had a sexual fantasy about Oprah Winfrey or Sandra Day O'Conner.

Cougar and milf fantasies, despite a full on advertisement campaign, are still pretty niche.

xcheshirecatxx · 2023-04-07T20:20:43+00:00

I care less about the age than poverty Poverty leads to decisions that aren't really what we wished for

Title	CMV: Men see younger men as other men, where women see younger women as little children. This is at the core of many disagreements on PPD.
Author	8m3gm60
Upvotes	246
Comments	500
Date	April 7, 2023 3:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12eoqd1/cmv_men_see_younger_men_as_other_men_where_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-men-see-younger-men-as-other-men-where-women.1213799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1213799