Crazy girlfriends / boyfriends aren't crazy. They're abusive. Calling them crazy downplays the seriousness of their actions.

August 1, 2020
42 upvotes

"Crazy" in a relationship context often just means abusive. The only real difference is gender: The same behaviors that we'd say are abusive when a man does it, are often just called "crazy" when a woman does it.

I think it's one of the reasons people have such a hard time admitting that women can be abusive towards men. They can be crazy, sure. But not abusive.

And on top of that, isn't calling a woman crazy just a sexist stereotype? While I do think it's a problematic term (mainly because it marginalizes the mentally ill), a lot of men have had "crazy" girlfriends. And I think we're doing a disservice by not coming out and calling them abusive instead. It helps normalize abusive behaviors and it prevents people who are stuck in those relationships from getting help.

For context, a couple sources about abusive behaviors being viewed differently depending on the gender of the victim or the perpetrator:

Follingstad, D. R., DeHart, D. D., & Green, E. P. (2015). Psychologists’ judgments of psychologically aggressive actions when perpetrated by a husband versus a wife. Perspectives on Verbal and Psychological Abuse, 19(4), 161.
Seager, M., & Barry, J. A. (2019). Cognitive distortion in thinking about gender issues: Gamma bias and the gender distortion matrix. In The Palgrave handbook of male psychology and mental health (pp. 87-104). Palgrave Macmillan, Cham.

https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-3-030-04384-1_5

Sorenson, Susan B.; Taylor, Catherine A. (March 2005). "Female aggression toward male intimate partners: an examination of social norms in a community-based sample". Psychology of Women Quarterly. 29 (1): 78–96. doi:10.1111/j.1471-6402.2005.00170.x.
"I abused a man in public and no one cared".

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/5d33c36d-cd41-4351-97ed-4516962d5c44

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Post Information
Title Crazy girlfriends / boyfriends aren't crazy. They're abusive. Calling them crazy downplays the seriousness of their actions.
Author Oncefa2
Upvotes 42
Comments 42
Date August 1, 2020 12:30 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/crazy-girlfriends-boyfriends-arent-crazy-theyre.720275
https://theredarchive.com/post/720275
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/i1iybo/crazy_girlfriends_boyfriends_arent_crazy_theyre/
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