Dating After 30 - The Dating Flip - Does It Exist?

andrejusilva123 · 2022-08-27T16:24:51+00:00

Any woman any time has options it's up to her if she likes them (most do not but sill settle for things like money and comfort). For men the largest sexless demographic is between ages 18-24

Acaciduh · 2022-08-27T15:36:01+00:00

I personally haven’t seen a woman’s options for relationships go down that much until after 40 if she takes care of herself and doesn’t have kids. And even after then she still will have options just not as many but I’ve never seen it down to literally nothing. This notion that women are used up and done by 30 is just crazy to me and not what I’ve seen IRL. Most people are getting married and having kids at 30 give or take a few years and the most successful marriages are from that age range married to a similar age range with similar backgrounds. Most woman aren’t trying to get married or have kids at 20.

fake7272 · 2022-08-27T16:39:20+00:00

Men will always want more sex then women, so no it never "flips". However, if you are a fit guy, it is expected that you will have more money and better social skills once you are in your 30s and dating "should" be easier

KirthWGersen · 2022-08-27T15:33:19+00:00

Things definitely do get better, in all manner of ways, for men who have their lives sorted as they get older.

The only men who don't experience this are those that started on a high, being successful with women in their teens, but failing to learn the social and work skills they need to be successful in later life; and those who started low and never made any effort to improve.

ashpr0ulx · 2022-08-27T15:54:45+00:00

i’m a woman and i actually started finding my best dating options in my late 20s, early 30s. it‘s much easier for me to find good men who really know what they want than it was in my early and mid 20s when everyone is still figuring shit out and sowing their wild oats.

purplish_possum · 2022-08-27T15:39:52+00:00

TRP's "it gets better" trope is 90% bullshit:

The vast majority of men do not peak in their 30s. They peaked in their 20s (or even late teens) just like women. An ordinary 75 or 80K job isn't going to compensate for expanding waistlines and receeding hairlines.
Working on one's self for the most part only slows/delays inevitable decline.
Women in their 30s still have men lining up. Unless a woman is truly unfortunate or stupid the wall doesn't hit until at least their mid-40s.

90% of guys who struggled with dating in their 20s will continue to struggle in their 30s and 40s. The promised golden age will at best entail sorting through used-up gold diggers.

Guys who were successful dating in their teens and 20s may or may not continue to be so. Lots of guys flame out. They get fat. They end up in jail or prison. They never economically launch (often related to ending up in jail or prison). If they do find an economic niche it's likely uninspiring (that 75 or 80K paycheck won't drop many panties).

To summarize: Unattractive guys are likely to remain so. Attractive guys can fuck up life. There are many more ways to lose than there are to win. Some guys were dealt hands that make winning almost impossible.

Meatheadliftbrah · 2022-08-27T16:05:41+00:00

No, women have it easier in regards to dating / sex at every stage of their life. Believing anything else is a cope (if you are a man).

trail22 · 2022-08-27T16:35:46+00:00

The only time I have seen women who are in shape complain about dating is after 50.

midwesternMD · 2022-08-27T15:44:54+00:00

I’m a man in my mid-30s.

I would say that the “flip” doesn’t exist. Certainly not the way you’ve portrayed. You only need to look to the datingover30 sub to see what a shitshow it is.

Arguably, my perspective is skewed. I didn’t really date around in my 20s. I met my ex in college, pre-tinder, and married her. So maybe I don’t know how shitty dating could have been. And now, after dating the past few yrs in my 30s, I’ve had a few casual/situationships, some flings, and some one night stands. But nothing resembling what I’d call a relationship. To me, that’s been interesting, but overall unsatisfying. To some men on here, that might sound awesome. To others, it might sound pathetic.

What I can tell you is that I have been working on my fitness, my career is solid, my friends are great, and my hobbies are interesting. The proportion of women who are merely attractive and not single mothers seems vanishingly small. But that’s who I’m looking for. If the narrative of a dating flip is true, as you describe it, I would expect that I would have women bashing down my front door in hopes of locking down a guy like me. But that isn’t my reality.

Maybe I’m too picky. Maybe I’m too short. Maybe I’m too fat. Maybe I’m too not-white. Who the hell knows. None of that should matter if women in their 30s were desperate in droves. I think “the wall” is true for desirable men thinking about women, but it is merely a revenge fantasy for the majority of men who aspire to be desirable but will never amount to it.

daisydaisydaisy12 · 2022-08-27T16:28:23+00:00

Financial prime in his 30s? Who could be so dumb to believe this? I make 5 times what i made at 30. Are you all really this dumb believing this crap?

2manyltrnmoths · 2022-08-27T15:56:16+00:00

It hasn’t been true in my own life, for personal factors pertaining to me that I understand. I have more interest, from more men and higher quality men, now at 40 than I did at any previous age.

To be fair, I don’t think that’s a universal experience for women; I think it has to do with me and situations specific to me. (Also, there is likely a factor that a being woman my age who is fit and doesn’t have kids is in an advantage when dating men in my broad age range.) Definitely the overall pool of men who want to date at my age is smaller, but it’s still more people than I can date as one person anyway so it’s not a big deal.

But as far as the OP goes, I don’t think this scenario is necessarily universally true for men or women. But mostly I think it has to do with how well you take care of yourself.

AcanthocephalaNew947 · 2022-08-27T15:35:43+00:00

Here’s the think it’s takes a very specific male mindset( a red pill for example) to think at 30 he needs a 20 year old. It’s just incredibly niche and not at all the ‘norm’ I mean statistically speaking age gaps are like what? 2 to 3 years? Hell just go to a mall, you see young women with young men. You see larger age gaped couple but again it’s not the norm.

So ‘post wall’ women date men their age just fine. I mean I do. The dating worlds not all sunshine and lollipops and I’m not bombarded with thousand of men trying to court me but to be fair I didn’t have that in my 20’s either.

Post wall is revenge fantasy and fear tactics. “ better marry me now while I suck because I won’t want you when I’m awesome!”

SwaySh0t · 2022-08-27T17:33:05+00:00

Since men typically want quantity over quality, within this context, it does get better. The quality seems to slowly wane every passing year. More neurotic women with baggage or children.

WilliamWyattD · 2022-08-28T08:58:07+00:00

Not necessarily.

The Wall is about the shape of a woman's SMV curve. It compares her SMV to itself, and never to men's.

Men may have better SMV relative to their lifetime avg SMV in their 30s than women, but that doesn't mean men ever have better SMV than a comparable woman. That depends on a lot of other factors.

ImAGhostOooooooo · 2022-08-27T16:09:13+00:00

Well I guess I'm just an ugly hag at my ancient age of 29 🤣. I think this is completely untrue, I look just as good now as I did when I was 22. I plan to take care of myself and look good well into my 50s. Look at Jennifer Anniston, GORGEOUS! Plenty of people age well. You don't just turn wrinkly and fat once you're 30 🤣 it's just things guy say to fetishize younger women and not date someone in their age group. Men get denied by women in their age group for various reasons, so they make up reasons to not try to find someone their age and chase after someone younger and less mature.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2022-08-28T00:17:41+00:00

Idk. I have been with men in their thirties and I am not 30 yet.

I got a lot of materialistic stuff out of them, but I didn't ask for it and I don't like fatherly figures and tones.

My dad was the best man and husband on the planet, a big extrovert that loved to party into his 60's before he drank himself dead straight into a tree. Mom hasn't been with anyone since. It leaves an impression. I am taking her to find a boy toy in Rio.

shreyastalpade · 2022-08-27T18:44:05+00:00

It's all a cope.

carlenvirgo · 2022-08-27T19:47:48+00:00

I started dating at 40 after a long marriage that failed and I had lots of options.. I’m not sure where those numbers came from. In fact, I was hotter at 40 than I was 30. I was fit at 40 with a great body. At 30 I was fat because I gave birth. I was insecure and I wasn’t at my best. I think people have a huge misconception of reality.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-08-27T16:42:00+00:00

I met my husband in my early 30s after getting out of a long term relationship, I had a lot of options, my age wasn’t a problem

jonreynolds1999 · 2022-08-27T15:11:12+00:00

For now yes this is a thing

I feel like when the zoomer generation reaches that age though it might be different from what current statistics say about male and female celibacy

AutumnTop · 2022-08-27T16:22:35+00:00

I have not. On the male side of the ledger, "winners" and "losers" seem to be sort of baked into a man by age 25 or so. Obviously, that's not always the case, but typically it is. At least in my experience.

Dagenius1 · 2022-08-27T18:41:09+00:00

Like most things on this forum, there’s some truth to it but it may be overstated by the “opposing side” if you will.

Women don’t shrivel up and die at 31. Men who reach a point of financial stability become more in demand when they reach that.

I do believe attention and options change for both due to that age/success rating. I know some beautiful 35 year old women who will admit that they definitely don’t get hit on as much as they did at 25. I also know some dudes who are average looking 35 year olds that get a surprising amount of attention, to them, now that they have hit a few key financial or success milestones.

As always be your best self and let the chips fall where they may

Head-Language-2977 · 2022-08-27T18:49:03+00:00

(41M) The “wall” definitely does not happen before 40. If you define the “flip” is the age where men gain the upper hand in dating, that unfortunately does not happen before 40 either. Although I believe a lot of women settle, I believe women settle because they’re at a point in their lives when they’re ready to trade fun men for safe men for stability, not because they have zero options (like when a man settles) as is suggested by this “wall” concept.

The consolation for men is the balance of power definitely becomes more balanced the older you get. I’m not trying to offend anyone here, but thin women will always control their own destiny… and by a long shot.

CoffinEluder · 2022-08-27T16:58:04+00:00

dating has gotten better for me in my 30s because a lot of women think they are running out of time to secure a husband and have kids so it has been easier for the most part.

2022-08-27T19:38:13+00:00

Uh oh... here we go... this is COMPLETLY JUST MY OPINION, but I think I've read enough of these to understand that most of these posts don't care what a certain demographic really thinks, rather tries to detract/dodge/derail/virtue signal via exceptions to the AVERAGE. And it also seems as though any "not nice" preference for a certain demographic is openly shamed while the other segment of a demographic is "brave and empowered" when doing the same... (sorry ministry of truth, I have not labeled those demographics so that I could be nice and not get axed for being a you know what)

Like with a lot of RP stuff, nothing is "ALL" and no exception to the rule makes the rule.

It really depends, I don't think everyone has the same experience and I don't listen to what people say anymore I watch what they do. Most men I've met date more later and have more options because they are finally able to afford to start a family. What woman wants a guy who works at the gas station at 18 when at the same age shes been making that bartender/OF money/gets flown out/has access to sugar daddies and has more access to college scholarships geared towards them??? I MEAN WHY SHOULD SHE SETTLE YOU MISOGEENIST???? MOST of the women I run into in my circles have had trouble past 30 dating, none of my guy friends/coworkers/family/acquaintances will stay with a girl over 29 (although they do hook up with them) and they are all 30 - 55, none of them have trouble marrying/dating. I should remind them that they are terrible people for that.

I don't talk about this anymore because a certain demographic doesn't like the truth and the truth is that most men have a preference for younger women and 6 million of those American young women are on Seeking Arrangements "entertaining" those "gross" old men. But that certain demographic is also the least dated/married past a certain age that I won't say because that is mean and I would rather not piss off the ministry of truth.

If only there were some sort of app that we could reference the data for to see how this works out in real life....

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/

https://www.scarymommy.com/dating-apps-age-study

https://www.businessinsider.com/dataclysm-shows-men-are-attracted-to-women-in-their-20s-2014-10

https://www.datingscout.com/seeking-arrangement/review

https://www.knowledgeformen.com/undercover-sugar-daddy-on-seekingarrangement/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20U.S.%20Census,6%2C700%2C000%20are%20on%20Seeking%20Arrangement.

https://www.businessinsider.com/millennials-are-attracted-to-significantly-older-people-2018-5#:\~:text=Nearly%20a%20third%20of%20women,famous%20couples%20following%20the%20trend.

Capable-Resolve-2001 · 2022-08-27T16:09:24+00:00

It does not flip. Women are always more sexually valuable than men, no matter the age.

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-08-27T19:34:54+00:00

The dating flip is true to a certain extent for men who have worked on themselves financially and physically. But remember that 70% of the population is obese or overweight and many men are underemployed and the average guy isn't earning that much. It is true that women in their 20s have the easiest time dating, but many women in their 30s enjoy great dating lives. These are only generalizations and there are a ton of exceptions. I don't see any evidence this flip so so extreme that men in their 30s actually do significantly better in dating than women do, instead I just see the female advantage being reduced.

InfoVariety-8842 · 2022-08-27T16:41:02+00:00

People are predictably shitting on this idea as I expected. I can offer my own experience as a divorced late 30’s man with kids. I have a stable lifestyle and am not overweight or bald. I feel like I have more options than I ever did in my life. I’ve had more variety and quality of sex partners than college. Not ONS, but short flings or relationships mostly. Maybe I could do more ONS or LTR…it may be due to the vibe I put out. I’ve had to dump or ghost more women than at any other stage in my life. At some point, most of the women complain about all the losers they had to deal with. I’ve heard once they turn 40 there’s a big drop off in likes, even if they’re hot/youthful.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2022-08-27T19:21:40+00:00

As with most things there is a bit of nuance to this.

It’s true that most Woman( in the eyes of most Men) peak in there early twenties when it comes to raw sexual desirability. There is lots of debate on forums like this but the data is very clear. Men find Woman in there late teens/early 20’s most physically attractive.

Woman tend to find Men in their late twenties/early thirties most attractive. This is not only because of increased earning potential( which plays almost no role in a Woman’s sexual desirability) but also because this is when Men generally reach their athletic peak. It’s no coincidence that most elite level male athletes retire just after this point.

So Men and Woman then do hit their peak level of desirability at different ages-and probably by as much as a decade.

However this is all academic because it doesn’t actually mean much in real terms. Most Men are not going from geek at 20 to hunk at 30. Likewise most Woman are not going from beauty Queen at 20 to to ham-beast at 30. You’re average 30 year Woman will still have a 100 times more dating options than your average 30 year old man. There hasn’t been some magical switcharoo in terms of sexual market place value. All it means is that hers will certainly have dropped somewhat since her early 20’a and his will likely have increased somewhat since his early 20’s. Often times this means they end up meeting in the middle. She “settles” for somebody she wouldn’t have considered in her twenties. And he “settles” for somebody that isn’t anywhere near as attractive as she was 10 years ago but is at least now obtainable. Everybody’s a winner-or loser-depending on how you look at it.

MAGA-Latino · 2022-08-27T15:19:49+00:00

Yes it does but I find it's mostly just options for easy sex from 30+ year old left over women that you don't want for a relationship. After 30 and your accomplished it's really offensive that 30 y/o women are trying to get with you. Like you didn't work this hard or come this far just to get with a post wall female.

catniagara · 2022-08-27T19:32:46+00:00

Women reach our sexual peak in our 30s. Men reach their sexual peak in their 20’s. I don’t know who “they” are, but they’re hormonally inaccurate.

I didn’t even lose my virginity until my 20s. During my 20s there weren’t many options. Most guys regardless of looks just wanted to have a lot of sex with anyone who would touch them. I’m not someone who gets comfortable with people that easily.

I suspect they’re not either. The goal isn’t to sleep with me but to make me uncomfortable. When a girl does say yes, they are always surprised and say horrible things about her later.

I always saw people fighting at bars and clubs which scared me about all the hormones and drama even more. I was 29 when I met my SO. We’ve been on and off and I dated other people twice. Those guys sucked. So I feel lucky with him even those he’s not ideal. He’s physically attractive but I would want someone with a better work ethic who is nicer and cleans more. Like the men in my family.

I don’t have any friends, male or female, who found it harder to date after 30. Most found it easier. The older my parents get the more they get hit on. My mom especially because she has so many assets. But she’s stopped dating because my dad died (stepdad, my bio dad is alive).

The older people aren’t dating a lot but they’re in LTR’s lasting 20 years or more.

IMHO dating less is usually a symptom of not having to date much. Other than that I feel sorry for men because I think they watch too many movies and stuff telling them they’re supposed to want/get significantly younger women. And I guess some women too. A lot of people wouldn’t want what they had if they could get it. The reality isn’t as “sexy” as porn/Hollywood tries to make it seem.

Pantone711 · 2022-08-28T00:07:06+00:00

This presumes that every woman dated around and had sex in her 20's. I am not sure why young women who were brought up strictly religious never seem to figure in these scenarios. I was a virgin till I was 32 because I was brought up in a very strict sect but did not marry in that sect. It's not easy to leave this kind of sect. I was shunned for 8 years by my family. Anyway there is no shortage of women in their 20's who were raised religious and may leave that religion, often around age 30, when they finally get ready to take the plunge--and it's a huge life change. Often it means leaving their family and all their friends and being shunned.

Yes I got lots of attention in my 20's but I couldn't and/or didn't date the guys because I was "supposed" to marry in that sect. For various reasons I didn't. So I hit my 30's as a virgin with very little dating experience. There are plenty of young women raised like that but they never figure in these discussions because these women aren't desired because they aren't socially prestigious. I can attest that many of them are gorgeous. Just very sheltered. A lot of them stay in the sect they were raised in but some leave, arriving in their 30's with no experience.

Ok_Razzmatazz_1751 · 2022-08-28T01:10:05+00:00

So this post is really only for top tier men and the rest float through life aimlessly wishing they had done better...

Gundam_net · 2022-08-28T04:00:10+00:00

It does. I'm 28 nearing 29 and for the first time in my life hot 20 year olds check me out and flirt with me. I have never in my life had so many options, ever. And I'm basically a hobo. If I was making 6 figures, oh boy. Look out. I'd probably be drowning is p*ssy. 🤷🏻‍♂️ 🤣

It must be what it's like to be a teenage girl. When I was a teen nobody even glanced twice in my direction, except for when I was 19. I was looking good then. But that was a one time/fluke occurrence.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-08-28T04:20:07+00:00

Personally? No.

I am in my 30’s, had a kid, don’t wear my ring usually (public perceives me as single i guess, but not sure if that even matters) and am asked out or hit on quite a bit.

My mom got remarried at 58. My step dad chased Her hard… like years.

Btw, he makes good money and is a total silver fox

2022-08-28T11:12:52+00:00

M31, If anything it seems that all the hot cool girls are in LTRs already, sad I missed the first wave lol

Coolio_Street_Racer · 2022-08-28T14:32:48+00:00

Only if you become desirable. If you are undesirable in your 20s it will be the same thing on your 30s.

Dismal-Reading2512 · 2022-08-29T01:42:23+00:00

The biggest issue is that A LOT of people have a goal to be married by 30 if they can. The dating pool gets a lot smaller by 30 and options will be very limited by 35. Most people who want to be married will do it by 35. A lot of educated people marry in early 30s.

If you take care of yourself, there’s no reason you should look old in your 30s. It depends on so many individual factors. If you smoke and do hard drugs then yeah you probably won’t look so great haha. I’ve seen women and men who look incredible even after 40 but they have good lifestyle habits. Not even taking into account things like education, race, height, weight, and etc. The correct answer is it just depends.

Digedag · 2022-08-27T15:09:48+00:00

A man reaches his physical [...] prime in his 30s

lol no.

iamatwork24 · 2022-08-27T19:11:53+00:00

I’ve always been far more attracted to girls in theirs 30s and 40s than girls on their 20s. While the bodies of the 20 yr olds are incredibly hot, they just look so young I can’t really get turned on by it. Not my cup of tea. Hence why I’ve always dated older women. Experience in life is sexy

daniellederek · 2022-08-27T22:11:42+00:00

When I was single mid 30s hone owner , employed, cars paid for its was like having a target on my back for women with baby rabies and the late 30s ones with a toddler in tow already. It definitely exists.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-08-27T15:12:09+00:00

Yes, the reason women in their 30s moan and whine is because they no longer have infinite options

RandomRedditGuy322 · 2022-08-27T15:39:20+00:00

Men who have made at least a little something out of themselves will have much more variety in choosing the left over reject women, divorcees, and single mothers looking for a meal ticket yes.

So does dating become easier for a man? Yes. Does it get better? No. Because the quality of women you can now more easily attract nosedives exponentially, and it only gets worse as they get older.

Id reccomend to keep growing your resources and try to get a sugar relationship with a woman in her 20s once you are older. That will be a quality woman that you can easily date.

sarkington · 2022-08-27T15:59:02+00:00

The goods are odd, and also more desperate/family oriented

jackedclown_1 · 2022-08-27T20:15:46+00:00

It's not that women lose value. In my experience, it's just that men get bolder, more confident and financially successful as they age making them more attractive to a broader pool of women

prettymuchredpilled · 2022-08-27T18:01:55+00:00

Only if the man actually works on himself. From age 20 to 30 is usually when men's careers and social skills start to really blossom (provided he's done the work). You could technically say the same for women, but as we all know a woman's career and social skills has very little to do with her attractiveness. Women can stay physically attractive well into their thirties, but this takes work so thus their looks usually have declined harshly by the age of 30.

neostoic · 2022-08-27T17:10:26+00:00

No, men don't generally reach their prime in their 30s. Male attractiveness peaks at around 25 and then declines from there.

I'm currently in my mid 30s. My dating pool has definitively shrunk from 10 years ago. I can still date women in their mid 20s but it already gets awkward with someone younger than say 23. And there's definitively a generation gap when it comes to conversing with younger people and for them you're just old and uncool. I usually have one or more women my age orbiting me in some friend group, whom I could easily date, but those women are usually unattractive and have unrealistic expectations, so I avoid them like the plague.

As for women, a woman can still be attractive even in her mid 30s, but generally such women wouldn't stay on the market for long. The more average women tend to struggle, since even the more average men(like me) would rather compete for someone younger, than settle down with them.

NotARussianBot1984 · 2022-08-27T21:28:46+00:00

Your last point disproves everything. Are you saying a >30 yr obese girl struggles to date? Ya. A fit >30 girl wins over others sure.

I fail to see your point?

There's more single women under 40 than young single men in most USA cities. So ya dating favours them. Saying otherwise is either cope or a Chad's opinion. Truthfully, unless a man makes enough money for a sugar baby, he's not seeing a flipped dating market in USA.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-08-27T16:57:19+00:00

For men absolutely, unless you're just born with crazy good genetics, we're all technically in our physical prime and our late teens to early twenties but in terms of when a guy can exercise his most options it is in that late 20s to 30s if he didn't fuck up too much in his twenties, I lucked and had good timing and crafty illegality (allegedly) into a lot of my financial success I'm not going to lie but it is what it is

Now I was a really good baseball player in high school and Junior College combined with being a short but not bad looking guy so I never really struggled with women like that but even I know in order to have the wife that I do now there had to be some successful building going on on my end

For women, yes the options do change a little bit if a guy is in that 25 to 35 range and ticks all the boxes, there's no reason why he shouldn't aim to get the best for himself and if he feels that woman is in that >25 range, go for it, I did lol

Fit-Faithlessness149 · 2022-08-27T17:17:19+00:00

In general men will never have as many options as women. It's probably not fair to compare the two genders but rather to compare their desirability based upon their ages. A man in his prime in his mid thirties earning a good living and being at his maximum in terms of health and handsomeness still will not be able to compare against a woman in her 20s. However I do believe there's some truth that the man will have more options available to him in his mid-30s compared to his early twenties. Also the woman will have far less options in her mid thirties compared to her early twenties.

infinitofluxo · 2022-08-27T17:44:55+00:00

Dating over thirty in my city, with people of the same social level, is far from being "time to settle down". It feels like it was moved to the forties territory now.

Specially because many women don't want kids or are open to the possibility of not having them, others are open to adoption.

It is true that men after 30 are more valuable in the market, but in my experience it doesn't last long, at forty you are already too old for most girls in their 20s and even some in their 30s. It is not rare to see older women with younger men too, at this age. A 45f will happily take a 37m. We didn't wait that much to be with older women. We missed the young ones when we are young and now have to settle for older women or women that look older than us?

Sure-Vermicelli4369 · 2022-08-27T16:09:48+00:00

I mean I think it's true to an extent, as women largely start settling down when they hit 30.

I'm willing to bet that in the current climate, there are lots of decent looking and earning single 30s men that haven't had any success by virtue of being awkward/shy. Meaning women in their 30s will have the option to be selective when finding a partner.

On the other hand, for men, your options at 30 are largely toxic women not suitable for relationships, single mothers and divorcees.

As an early 30s man, I do find myself receiving more attention from women than I did in my 20s. Could just be I was oblivious to it before, dunno.

CommieRedEyes · 2022-08-27T19:11:39+00:00

Lol no. It’s complete bull shit

Sea_Particular_9086 · 2022-08-27T22:55:59+00:00

This whole thread is hilarious, saying a 30+ year old man is gross to 20+ years old. When on dating apps the age gap rule is -7/+7. Plenty of celebs date well beyond that gap rule granted they’re celebs. Also with how generics work some men and women they age gracefully and look 10 years younger then their age.

Sounds like a bunch of older women bitter and angry for some reason. The older the women gets the higher the percentage of failed pregnancy if that is what she wants. Lola Jones is a prime example of the treatment of IVF she has to do.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with a 35 year old dating a 27 year old. I bet if some of yall in this thread ask your parents their age gap im sure there is some age gap between them.

FatPam007 · 2022-08-28T03:47:17+00:00

Lol most men have a receding hairline by the time they're 30, or alopecia in general.

Men's physical prime is 23 years old... From there everything goes bad... At least 60% of men start balding. I wish we found the cure of it though.

Every other 30 year old average man I know is balding. It's sad.

Most women don't have alopecia, even though it's not as uncommon anymore.

But women because of great hair and makeup and all of that, look great in their 30s. Even in their 40s.

Have you seen the Prime Minister of Finland? Damn she's 36 year old. She's hot as hell.

Where do you see men like that at her age? You don't.

Aromatic_Shop9033 · 2022-08-27T23:31:58+00:00

I've found it to be true.

I was much less successful or attracted fewer women in my 20s, than now in my late 30s-onward.

I'm talking to a 20 year old now because she's traditional, not divorced, not promiscuous, and wants a family.

Women my age are mostly hateful and have tons of baggage they demand I carry...and most are single moms or can't/don't want children.

YMMV.

AutoModerator · 2022-08-27T15:05:35+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Dramatic-Emu-1196 · 2022-08-27T15:47:49+00:00

It’s obviously true with that set of specifications. Most can’t step outside the hypergamy filter to admit this, and have an axe to grind

szclimber · 2022-08-27T16:27:17+00:00

I would say no. Women still have more options as they age compared to men. Yes it is less than in their 20s but it is still more options than they can possibly explore.

Rube-And-Tug · 2022-08-27T16:32:13+00:00

Nah not really

A woman who’s about equivalent to a man in terms of attractiveness and lifestyle before their 20s is still going to have more options in her 30s

Obviously if she gains 50 lbs and has a platoon of baby daddies or whatever she’s not going to have as many options, but you could say the same thing about her male equivalent

HildemaroLaughs · 2022-08-27T16:43:53+00:00

If you don't do anything with your life, of course the flip doesn't exist. It will get worse.

Women in their 20s here say they're repulsed by men on their 30s... Sure! Trust what they say, trust what put you into the friendzone since you were a teen.

They're just thinking about the losers, the nice guys, the men they don't give a fuck no matter their age. And, of course, they won't say anything that goes against their own benefit. The wall is hard to see.

I have enough friends in their mid 30s to believe that things will get better. You won't have a harem of young woman, that's bullshit, but life will be more enjoyable after years of hard work.

social_mule · 2022-08-27T17:31:26+00:00

Nobody has ever said a man reaches his physical and financial prime in his 30s. A man reaches his physical prime from late teens to early 20s and his prime earning years are in his 50s. Did you take the average of those two age ranges to arrive at his 30s?

gorilla_blanco · 2022-08-27T17:43:37+00:00

High quality women are always worth their weight in gold and will alway command the best of the best. Unfortunately these women sometimes think they are worth their weight in platinum and will price themselves out of their own dating market and wait to long to pick a guy which in reality is no concern for most men bc they weren’t really measuring up anyway… It’s just sad to see a beautiful girl waste her youth and not collect her prize assuming nobody truly wants to be alone but unfortunately there might be somethings/habits that the top tier men were able to spot as red flags 🚩 that made them pass for a reason nobody wants to talk about that though.

Guys who have some financial stability and extra resources + experience in life start cleaning up with younger women and low value women bc they finally have enough tools to compete. Problem is low value women are recreational use only so there aren’t any quality relationships pairing off really happening it’s just our turn to have fun.

Things that slow down for men in their 30s… energy, freedom (real responsibilities mean you can’t just chase ass), bad habits need to be addressed or they start to catch up (can’t be a total drunk and being doing coke with whores all night without serious health/legal/financial problems).

So yes guys clearly get more options after 30…. They aren’t magically quality options, but at least they are options… even though they themselves might not be the best option themselves they are usually better on paper than they were at 20 with the accumulation of additional resources, career path, leadership, and experience gives more confidence as well.

Ohmaygahh · 2022-08-27T17:51:28+00:00

As a man who was traumatically unsuccessful in my teens and 20s, then found some success and even more in my 40s,

It's night and day.

From what I observed about women, it depends. If they remain fit and pretty, they have no real wall. Sure after 40+ the options become fewer and less quality generally, but that may suit them since they are professionally retiring from having great sex with the tinder/bumble/hinge/pilates/yoga bangs but men after a certain age quietly give up about that. They are generally less interested in passion and lust, the game becomes about companionship.

In my speculation, men who think like that is bullshit because most of their lower libido is their shit eating and lifestyle. But it suits many women who are less interested in sex as a whole just fine so maybe it evens out?

hunterred43 · 2022-08-27T18:44:32+00:00

It's true. Some people were successful their whole life. It's funny now watching these used to be hot chicks hit the wall. Dudes walk past them. They get called on the bs they used to get away with when they were hot. It flips.

2022-08-27T18:54:24+00:00

Best video on it.

https://youtu.be/iq2RKTwyZg8

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-27T19:01:00+00:00

A man reaches his physical and financial prime in his 30s.

I think men reach our physical prime at roughly 27. Financial prime is probably never cos we get richer the older we get.

2022-08-27T19:38:16+00:00

So younger women do want older men with money, I don't understand why this is debatable. A problem is older single women almost always have a kid making them nonviable as far as relationships go.

Ghost_Hound · 2022-08-27T19:50:12+00:00

Speaking for myself, I was very successful in dating and getting laid in highschool and college (mostly because I was a musician and in a subculture that gave me a woman-rich environment that favored creative types). After college I did okay but from age 28-30 I had a period where I got very little success in dating. Currently, at 34, I'm doing very well for myself since I am not only back to doing music but I am in the process of getting in very good shape and making more money due to self-employment.

For my personal experience, it's been true that things improved for me as I've grown into my 30s. Although, if I'm being honest, I frame the fact that I am subculturally-inclined as a big factor in my success. If I was more of a normie things like being slightly shorter than average might fuck me over and things like my aesthetic fashion choices or artistic inclinations may not take me as far as they have and do.

Dismal-Reading2512 · 2022-08-27T19:55:47+00:00

Women over 30 with no kids start going into overdrive with clock ticking to get preggo. Some will drastically lower standards just to shack up with a tall guy. Seen it first hand multiple times

Extremiditty · 2022-08-27T19:57:35+00:00

I hope not. I’m a woman who for sure won’t be married by 30. Would suck if I have to choose between settling for someone I’m not crazy about and being alone.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-08-27T22:09:33+00:00

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/

The chart on age and desirability should answer your question.

At least in OLD the flip would be about 50 This is where the disparity between women and men as far as how responsive people are to them is equal and opposite the disparity at age 20.

The wall could be 30, that's where they slide under men's lifetime peak . Could be 34, this is where they are equal with their peers. Could be 40, this is where they for the first time get an equal amount of responsiveness that a 20 yr old man does.

All depends on how you look at it. Bear in mind this is how well they do with people they match with and message, not overall interest......women smash men in that category at any age.

This also shows that yeah , women 20-34 are all being responsive above their age category....or they couldn't have the numbers available to fill in and boost their success so high.

I could answer for in my personal life....but I promise I am an extreme outlier and have felt very little in the way of any age limitations ever.....I guess I can say now women within 5 years of my age require less effort for more reward. (40)

SoIlikeMangos · 2022-08-27T22:51:09+00:00

I don't get this idea of being obsessed with women peaking in their early 20s. Okay, you marry the hottest 25 year old. She's gonna turn 30, 40 & red pillers think she has hit the wall. You wanna toss her into trsh now???

2022-08-27T23:03:13+00:00

My grandma is old and fat and still has men chasing her. I plan to take care of my body and skin and am not too concerned. At 21, I have tried dating older men and they suck.

Effective_Elk_4719 · 2022-08-27T23:05:25+00:00

Yes, absolutely true. The tables turned right around 30 when I got my first house and my making decent money & was in peak physical shape. Just hit the gym, get your money up in your 20s and max your looks/personality. Went from dating 5-6s to 7-8s. Need some status and more money to get the 9-10s and to keep em.

2022-08-27T23:58:20+00:00

I’m in my forties, run a few miles a day, lift, do martial arts, a, in top 3% in income. My SO is the same age doesn’t exercise, has gained weight, but is still very pretty. She could easily get more guys than I could get girls. I do believe however that I could get higher quality and into a better long term relationship, even if it is due to beta bucks. At the end I would rather be alone for awhile. I’ve been in relationships my whole life except a few years and want to be responsible for just me for awhile.

Ramzabeo · 2022-08-28T00:18:10+00:00

TLDR - This generation has made both men and women worse in the dating game, its a losers game for both parties.

Honestly as a married man who met his wife in late teens, before hook up culture and apps, i really think the dating game is a losers game for BOTH parties.

As a woman you run a huge risk by giving your heart out to someone, you can easily go from having a great career, being in your sexual prime (20-30s) having tons of freedom and options only to have it ruined by a man, regardless if you vet him or not, he can always lie to you, tell you everything you want to hear, impregnate you, and then run off (which happens a lot sadly) and then bam, your life is suddenly upside down and you joined one of the poorest demographics in the us.

For men to be with a post tinder era woman is a huge risk, getting hit on feels good, now i can only imagine the dopamine from getting dozens of matches whenever you go on a tinder spree, i bet it’s intoxicating. This is a very hard thing to let go of im sure, you can risk a ton of things as a man by getting into a marriage in this era, from losing your house and money, to not being able to see your children…just because she felt like going back to tinder.

I think this is where all these problems are rooted tbh, video games, the economy and easy access to sex has made men of this generation a hell of a lot less responsible then past generations, you no longer need to commit to get what you want, its bad for women.

Hook up culture, feminism and the general yas queen attitude has made woman more promiscuos, which is not a bad thing really, but it does make it harder to settle down when you can go from having all the attention you want to just being with 1 man.

Prestigious-Law-4059 · 2022-08-28T00:51:48+00:00

Women will definitely realise at the age of 30+ that their days of being an ‘independent women’ are dwindling. And now they would like to settle down with a man, however it will be too late because most men don’t want a women who’s been through the ringer and got all that trauma. They’d rather just not deal with it. So I do agree that men are in their prime, because they are the ones who choose who gets married not the women.

No_Reflection_798 · 2022-08-28T05:07:16+00:00

It's highly situational. Of all the possible scenarios, this is route is definitely one of them. But, I definitely do not think it's a majority. Maybe a plurality, at best.

You will always have the guy who just plain gave up by the time he hits 40. You will always have the delusional woman who is still trying to buy her way into a relationship with a man, with her body, into her 40s. You will always have the man that goes for the mousy woman who is shy, but looks young at any age. You will always have the woman who couldn't care less about that kind of stuff in a man.

I also think that people tend to want relationships with people close to their own age. Sure, there is that graph showing how men - no matter their own age - will always prefer a 22 year-old. I think the emphasis is on *prefer*, though.

When it comes down to it, I think there is always a bit of an ick-factor for both sexes when the age disparity starts to grow. Of all of the couples that I know, I think the one with the largest age difference is ten years. But, their relationship does not at all resemble that stereotypical scenario above.

A 24 year-old woman dating a 34 year-old man who she met at the gym, while they were both working on themselves? Yuck. Really, I think those two types of people are shallow, and pretty much deserve each other.

Will a woman lose options as she ages? Yes and no. She will always find someone who will have sex with her. But, if her standards were ridiculous when she was in her 20s - or her priorities were ridiculous - there is no way that they got any more rational when she reaches her 40s.

In my experience, reality is more varied hues of the stereotypical situation that you describe above. My experience with men and women after 30? Men are exhausted from the trifling nature of women by that point, and women are getting more and more frustrated that it's taking so long for their perfect partner to come around.

Throw in some past trauma in there, and you have men and women both suspicious and angry with each other.

Det_Steve_Sloan · 2022-08-28T08:34:49+00:00

What surprised me is the number of old women who started chasing me as well. I get younger girls (20s) and older women easier than women in their 30s, who are generally more angry, regretful at being impregnated while drunk in their 20s and demanding.

I've aged quite well too and don't have kids. I have money, but every woman who has chased me has been oblivious to this.

Disclaimer, I used to model and work out a lot.

wejaow · 2022-08-28T11:13:07+00:00

I think that’s only for white ppl because they don’t use moisturizer or sun screen properly and age horribly. People of color tend to look better in their 30s than their 20s regardless of gender

AreOut · 2022-08-28T17:57:55+00:00

it does, but it doesnt happen exactly at 30, its individual

drawmatoman · 2022-08-28T19:37:42+00:00

Sort of. The interest from women increases, but the bigger issue is eventually dealing with one's own lack of willingness to date and repeat the process of meeting new people.

H8beingmale · 2022-08-29T03:16:52+00:00

a long heated debate

FlyV89 · 2022-08-30T03:39:45+00:00

It does. May be it's not like the redpillers make it to be, and of course you don't have countless hot women sliding into your DM with pussy picks (honestly, an average 20 years old girl will recieve more picks of vaginas in a day than an average man will in a life span) but the effect for a man is pretty noticeable.

If you rent your own place by the 30's and have a car, a normal car, or even a bike, you will see the difference. On the other hand, if you were a slob with no job and a shitty social life in your middle twenties, and you get to thirties and turn out to be a late bloomer, then you may well think you are at the fucking top of the food chain.

It's also a matter of personality. It's not fair you know, but men have to go through a process of development in order for women to find them "intresting". Some dudes find that inner "thing" early on and have success with girls in like their teens or something, but most dudes in their 20's honestly don't know how to talk to women, not even mentioning growing a pair to introduce themselves to girls without stutter half sentences and stumbling with their own words.

When you are 30 (hopefully) you feel more confident, more developed, you feel you have what it takes. You may have acomplished something, may be you already became good at some stuff you are pasionate about, you learn to feel better in your own skin, have time to develop a style, you know... You become more of you, whatever that shit means, and women learn to love you. It's not that you stand over other men more than you shine because you are different to others, and lots of women will find that different very enticing.

In a sense, you also learn to look women kinda... Down. I know it sounds bad but it is what it is...

Like, you realize you are a fucking MAN. Dude, somewhere inside you you have a genetic combination of aleles and acid shit that makes you, phenotipically, the dominant sex of the dominant specie of the fucking planet. I know I know, there is some Chad out there who's better than you at getting women, I know, but hell, you're still good at something he probably isn't...

And even then YOU'RE STILL A MAN. When you realize this you care two flying fucks what women think of you, the same way a wolf doesn't care what sheeps think of him.

Oh am I too short? Still I'm 2 inches taller than you and I don't need high heels womanlet. My dick is too small? At least I have a dick.

You know, things like that.

No offense to women thou, I thanks God you have vaginas and your tits are awesome, and you have those incredibly beautiful eyes, hairs and your smiles, oh Lord and your laughs are just pure music...

But I love having a dick, feels awesome.

Going back to the topic, yes I've seen it happen with all my male friends, like half of them were irredemable lonely virgins when we were like 20-25, and by the time we were 28-29 they all had nice and good looking girlfriends and wives, mostly younger.

I've never had problems gettin with girls, and I admit I got better with age (yes, gym does makes you look better, but it takes YEARS to build enough libs of muscle to look good, specially when you are 6.3', so there is that too... Men need time to improve physically) and I tell you, my chances have skyrocketed in the last years, and not only with women my age but even younger. A lot younger.

It's not complicated really, but women date older men. I'm not talking about huge age brackets here, and may be women don't like to admit it neither, but when most dudes have 18-25 years old girls their age are foolinh around with men like 3-6 years older, and we cannot date underage women for obvious reassons so we spend our young years being quite lonely.

Also... Not a nice thing to do, but women start to... Well, kinda panic when they hit their late twenties. They start looking for "Mr. Right" very hard, they "don't have time for games" and all that jazz, so they will start to take a more stright aproach in dating, they will make moves on you... You know.

Couple all that and with a little effort and some good luck, your chances with women can improve dramatically.

It's a said thing, but the options you get when you are 30 are the options the younger dudes in their 20's are lacking. Don't feel bad anyways, an older dude screwed your half orange so you may well do the same to some poor younger sucker. Such is life.

What you do with those options thou, is up to you.

I've met these late bloomers who dated around a not, found out their "soulmate" and got married, and I've also met those guys who seem to be stuck in the fuckboy/player phase and want to make up for the time lost.

Nothing wrong with that, but for God's sake if some woman give you a shot down the road be honest with both of you. No need to be a jerk just to "get even"...

Yes. I've met those men too. That's not right.

Point by point:

Yes, you will likely have more options than you had when younger
No, women never run out of options. The thing is that with age, the options they get are less and less attractive to them. If women were like men, they would be banging hot 20 something dudes in their late thirties to their middle forties without any effort, but they are women, not men. By their 30's women want commitment, not casual sex, and if they were to have casual sex they would have it ideally with men their age or a bit older. It doesn't help that men tend to date younger, and the good looking men a lot younger, so that's why every 30 something dude no matter how ugly he is will still have a shot with a woman at some point.
Yes, women will, eventually, settle DOWN, as most men do. In my experience, some women do "settle" too, I mean the bad way, and resent that and their partners for having to settle and yada yada, yes, there are women like that out there. BUT, I kid you not dude, in this day and age there are LOTS of single women out there who haven't had a true, mesningful relationship for decades bro. The more you talk to women, the more girls you met, the more you realize they are desperate for some love, I swear sometimes it hurts to hear some of my girl friends and female relatives and coworkers talk about not finding a man to conect with, crying about men hitting and quitin, ghosting, cheating, treating them poorly... IDK, may be it's like redpillers say, that they brought this to themselves, that they make bad choices, whatever, but if dudes have an ounce of humanity left then we should feel at least some empathy towards them. I tell you, these women would love the first bump lowlife who come across and has a kind or romantic gesture. Some bars are really low out there indeed.

zimzim1010 · 2022-12-27T06:44:13+00:00

30/f here. I didn't date much in my 20s because I was trying to get my career off the ground. I also didn't sleep around and focused more on myself and friendships. So dating/sex wise, my 20s were pretty dull.

Now that I'm in the early 30s era, I've noticed I get hit on way more than I ever did in my 20s. Part of this is because I have the income and time now to get great skin/hair care products, high end make up, laser removal, gym memberships, ect. I look a lot more put together and stylish than I did a few years ago.

A bigger part of this is because when guys want to settle down in their 30s and realize that unless they look like Brad Pitt, not a lot of 20 year olds want to date them. Plus, dating someone a lot younger than you isn't what it's cracked up to be. They will start looking at people their own age for a serious relationship and realize what women already knew--that the dating pool is small and sucks the older you get.

So man or woman, if you a) aren't divorced b) don't have kids c) are in good shape and take care of yourself d) have hobbies and friends e) have a good income/job f) don't have crazy ex's, by the time you're in your 30s, you're a HUGE catch. People realize this and want to get close to you with an urgency that wasn't there when you were in your 20s and everyone thought they had all the time in the world.

I got a fiancé shortly into my 30s and even he admitted he wanted to get to know me because unlike a lot of single people our age, I seemed happy, stable, took care of myself, and had no kids/ex's/etc. That becomes rarer as time goes on and becomes more valuable.

Don't worry so much about the numbers. Just take care of yourself physically and mentally and you'll be surprised how far ahead of the game you come out. Stable people who wait will attract the people with the same priorities, so just be social, put yourself out there, and don't sweat time. We can control our habits, but not always the quality of people we bump into sometimes so just remember to worry about yourself.

Title	Dating After 30 - The Dating Flip - Does It Exist?
Author	theorangesmile
Upvotes	84
Comments	390
Date	August 27, 2022 3:05 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wz53ew/dating_after_30_the_dating_flip_does_it_exist/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-after-30-the-dating-flip-does-it-exist.1129091 https://theredarchive.com/post/1129091