Do men lose attraction to their partners over time?

Superannuatedpunk · 2022-08-21T11:45:34+00:00

This is a simple question with a complicated answer. I'll do my best to be brief.

Background - I'm now in my mid 40s, and I've been with my wife for over 20 years.

My sexuality is very different to what it was 20 years ago. What I'm attracted to, and how I express that attraction are unrecognisable between the two - they might as well be from different planets. But that's true of pretty much every aspect of my character.

For guys my age - and older - who remain in love with their partners, it's because that love grows along with the relationship. My wife is not the woman I fell in love with at 23. But I'm not the man I was at 23 either. Both of these facts are very much to the better.

As horrifying as I'm sure it'll seem to some dudes on here - your tastes and drives will change. To a man in his 40s, much as a girl in her early 20s might be nice to look at, there's nothing deeply appealing about her. But a certain glance or smile from the woman you love - who you trust and esteem above all others - is a very different story.

hyperlinktoZelda_v2 · 2022-08-21T12:20:19+00:00

So I work in a kitchen with young women from 18 or 23 year old and I do not find any of them attractive. Sure some have a cute face, but like how your daughter would. Even if I was single, I wouldn't go for any of them. The maturity ain't there and I'm not interested being daddy mentor.

As for losing attraction to my partner, I don't really buy it. I've been with my girl since high school. We've had the fortune of watching each other grow up. It wasn't and isn't a jarring process. Watching someone age in real time is like watching the sun move across the sky. You don't really notice the change, because it's subtle. You just see the same old face, but in different positions in life.

With that said, the change is obvious when you look back on old pictures. In our case we went from dorky looking teenagers to less dorky looking adults. I say age did us well. It also helped that we took care of our bodies, but still.

Aging is inevitable and I won't pretend I don't notice the gray, but I'm a glass half full guy. The way I see it, I've had the honor to witness the growth of a cute teenage girl into the beautiful grown ass woman she is today. I would not trade that for all the young piece of ass in the world.

Barely-moral · 2022-08-21T10:43:37+00:00

Also I do not buy into the idea of "wife goggles" where guys see their aging wives in the goggles of what their wives looked like when they were younger.

Well then why ask the question in the first place if you are not going to accept the answer?

This just doesn't make sense, everyone has eyes and you would have to be having a psychotic episode to see what's not there.

It's not that I am blind and unable to see reality. I can recognize the way time changed the way my partner looks but I have to make an active effort to do so. My default state is seeing her as if she was at her best.

Of course If a man love's his wife he will see her in a loving less judgmental light but not to the extent he still views her as hot as what she used to be.

Well a man can still see her as hot as what she used to be even if he is well aware that she is not.

You don't need to buy it. It is true. It's like a god I don't believe in installed a fairness system inside my libido so I remain attracted to a woman that deserves it.

Valuable-Marzipan761 · 2022-08-21T12:43:08+00:00

Probably in some cases. If you're constantly beating your meat to women in their 20's while you and your wife hit 50, you're going to struggle to still find her attractive. If you just accept the aging process there's no reason attraction should fade.

SmilesRHere · 2022-08-21T20:38:57+00:00

Not all men, probably not even the majority of men. Many of us actually prefer a woman to a girl.

I’ve been with my wife 16 years, she’s still the most beautiful and sexiest woman alive.

Unlike the cave dwelling incel virgins and the red pill misogynistic inferiority complexed “men children” who believe women hit a wall in their 20s, real men know how to appreciate women of all ages.

carlenvirgo · 2022-08-21T12:53:07+00:00

Just because they are physically attracted to younger women doesn’t mean that number 1# a younger woman would actually want them and number 2# that all men would leave their wife for a girl their daughters age if the opportunity arises.

In fact, many men don’t prefer younger. There’s a large group of younger men that actually prefer older women. Sometimes maturity is a factor.

As most people mature, the physicality becomes less important. If we are talking about shallow, stunted, ego driven or vain individuals, than they may leave a spouse for someone younger if the opportunity arises.

Let’s be clear that money plays a huge role in why a younger person would want an older person. Most of the time the younger women is using him for the money and will seek younger men for sex partners while married to the older man.

The divorce rate is high with huge age gap couples.. If a man reaches 50s and has erection issues, he’s not going to be able to satisfy a younger woman that may be in 30s.

So sure, he may satisfy her financial needs but likely won’t be able to keep up with her sexual needs.

Men can want whatever they want but most of the time the older guy isn’t going to get a younger woman.

Gravel_Roads · 2022-08-21T10:19:11+00:00

"Men" as a demographic, no. Humans as a species tend to have a social saturation point that, when over-loaded, will make the stimulation they get from someone eventually stop feeling good and starts to just chafe.

Sometimes, this just means you need a little time to yourself. Sometimes, this means the "honeymoon" is over and the relationship has hit its natural shelf life.

This is not gendered behavior. You see it with roommates, friends, coworkers, romantic relationships. Hell, even bands break up.

Lisavela · 2022-08-21T17:15:47+00:00

Everyone likes young beautiful people but that doesn’t mean that they won’t find their partner attractive because they have aged

wtknight · 2022-08-21T14:48:32+00:00

I think that the biggest confusion is that women seem to assume that men are "picky" like they are when it comes to looks.

Men don't have pickiness. They have "preferences". They prefer how a woman looks in her early 20s, but a guy in his 40s will also find attractive things about women in their 40s, including hopefully his wife/partner who is around the same age.

I can't speak to how a guy might be in his 60s when his wife is also in her 60s, but I imagine that it's something similar.

But sure, men have wandering eyes, too, and like to look at younger women. That doesn't mean that they are ever going to pursue things with them because, a.) most of the time it's not realistic that he could attract them and b.) he hopefully loves and respects his wife/partner too much to actually do this or perhaps to even think about this.

ReferenceImpossible2 · 2022-08-21T11:54:29+00:00

Lol milf porn is still a pretty common search parameter for a reason. Also titties only grow larger with time 😫

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-08-21T10:30:28+00:00

Do men lose attraction to their partners over time?

If the love is still there, then in my experience no they don't lose attraction.

That's not saying they won't find a hot young 23 year old to be gorgeous, but they're married not buried.

Clean_Mastodon5285 · 2022-08-21T10:38:57+00:00

If she gains too much weight, ages poorly, or has a shitty attitude yes

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-08-21T14:51:39+00:00

This is a stupid question. Women aren't more physically attracted to aging men either so this is just your spin on 'man bad'

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-08-21T13:05:06+00:00

Wife googles aren’t supposed to “make sense” people need to stop trying action like love and lust are logical conclusions to mathematical formulas.

You fall in love, you body wants her forever.

chickenfriedsteakdin · 2022-08-21T10:42:53+00:00

Fat is unattractive. 50% adult obesity kills sexual drive. Birth rates in free fall.

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Hoopy223 · 2022-08-21T14:12:45+00:00

Of course you can but if you have a strong relationship the getting older/fatter stuff won’t matter quite as much as people say it does.

Fun_Push7168 · 2022-08-21T10:33:30+00:00

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/may/20/the-perfect-partner-how-age-affects-what-men-and-women-find-attractive

That should explain this fairly adequately.

This is exactly why we can enjoy a calendar full of 23 yo women even if we really don't want to date one. At some point you just mainly enjoy looking.

If it was a single scenario purely about sex, yeah I'm sure we'd all bang a much younger woman. We just wouldn't really want much else from them.

RedditorSafeSpace · 2022-08-21T17:11:38+00:00

Do people get old and gain weight?

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-21T13:50:35+00:00

I dont understand male sexuality and relationship thinking. Also guys on here seem to worry so much for being "settled for" yet they go on to claim they are most attracted to 20 year old's, doesn't that mean every man would be settling in a long term relationship?

It does. And when there is choice... look at how Musk, Bezos and even Gates are behaving.

Also check how Weinstein's official wife (!!!) looked like. He still wanted to bang others.

parahacker · 2022-08-21T14:42:31+00:00

Also I do not buy into the idea of "wife goggles"

Well that's where you go wrong then. Because it's really a thing.

supershotmd · 2022-08-21T18:32:46+00:00

You seem to think that men, who have been happily married for years, are like the alien in Predator (1987) who stalks around and computer-analyzes the hottest targets.

But I assure you we do form very strong emotional bonds. And cold sexual attraction can be replaced with a deeper, more comfortable, familiarity and appreciation. Yes, it's not exactly the same thing, but in some ways its even better. And better aligned to what people want in older age. But it takes time and there needs to have been a sexual attraction in the beginning. You're not going to fall in love with an older lady at the start.

(BTW I assume most women are the same about men.)

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-21T12:23:26+00:00

I think some people are not able to attract people their age, regardless if they’re looking good or not. Dating someone who’s younger gives them a chance to at least date someone who’s standard might not be as high yet. Once they realise, the guy will be out begging again

SnowHatesWome · 2022-08-21T13:48:04+00:00

Sexual maybe yes, emotional no

dxtos · 2022-08-21T20:53:56+00:00

It's on both partners to work on themselves to maintain the attraction - physically and mentally.

Meaning, there's no excuse either person can let themselves go - work on what you can control (i.e. not aging) and not straying too far from what made you attractive in the first place.

EnteFetz · 2022-08-21T11:37:15+00:00

Most women don't age well and yes they are less physically attractive in their late 30ies than they were in their early 20ies.

But also men almost always settle for what they can get, not what they want. Men don't have an attraction threshold. Men are attracted to the best they can get. It does not matter how low that is.

Do men simply lose interest in their partner over time but just stay with them because their lives are so intertwined?

Many men probably do.

Do men secretly want to be having sex with their 18 year old daughters friends instead of their wife?

Absolutely. Have you seen the movie "American beauty"? It's a quite accurate depiction of male sexual fantasies.

"wife goggles" where guys see their aging wives in the goggles of what their wives looked like when they were younger.

It does not makes sense to you, but I am sure that "wife goggles" effect is true. Men remember how how she was and keep that image in their head when they get intimate with her. You can always turn off the lights when having sex and just immagine she is still as hot as ever.

TodTheRod01 · 2022-08-21T16:18:25+00:00

By the time you've been together 10yrs its not just physical.
Men meet women wanting them to not change, women meet men wanting to change them...often times the opposite happens. Guys dont change, women do aka they usually pack on pounds

HazyMemory7 · 2022-08-21T16:43:39+00:00

I think this mostly occurs when women put on a lot of weight. Barring pregnancy and recovery from it.

jackedsoon · 2022-08-21T10:44:43+00:00

No, but some men might not reassure their pregnant or old spouses that theyre still attractive making women feel like their husbands arent attracted to them anymore.

Crafty_Letter_1719 · 2022-08-21T17:45:09+00:00

Gender is not really relevant to this question. Both Men and Woman can and probably will lose sexual attraction to their partner over time because that’s just the nature of getting older and being in a monogamous relationship.

Human beings are novelty seeking animals it. Why do so many relationships start off great but soon fizzle out? It’s not because people suddenly see their partners true colours and decide they are completely incompatible. It’s because the novelty of that person has worn off and you crave something new. The reality is human beings are not designed to be sexually monogamous. It completely goes against our animal nature. As such it’s little wonder your sexual attraction for your long term partner( regardless of how objectively attractive they are) will diminish over time. It’s completely natural.

However there is a big difference between sexual attraction and loving somebody. People in successful long term monogamous relationships have built their partnership on a lot more than simple sexual attraction. This is certainly not to say sex and sexual attraction is not hugely important within a successful long term relationship but just that after a certain length of time it is not the be all and end all for couples that are generally happy together.

Euphemia006 · 2022-08-21T21:29:41+00:00

Some men can lose attraction for their women over time, the same way some women can lose attraction for their men over time.

It is a bit childish to believe that women are not interested in their men look. Women do not marry personality.

FrivolousMood · 2022-08-21T11:59:31+00:00

Speaking for myself (but also the handful of close male friends who have shared such info) this is my answer. So long as a wife / partner remains sexually enthusiastic for her husband, AND does not gain a bunch of weight, his attraction for her will likewise be strong. True that men generally would find a beautiful young woman to be … beautiful. But that does NOT mean any loss of attraction for an (older) spouse / long term partner (again IF she stays active and interested in him sexually AND doesn’t get fat).

CentralAdmin · 2022-08-21T15:33:54+00:00

The biggest issue is that wives pick up too much weight over the years. Men are forgiving and do enjoy women's curves. But women are often willingly blind to their weight as they age.

They blame giving birth despite many moms able to lose the weight afterwards.

They blame men for being shallow and not loving them despite not taking care of themselves, but they wouldn't be happy with their men picking up too much weight either.

Many of the women who complain about being dead bedroomed have probably also picked up too much weight.

Clinical Psychologist Bettina Arndt wrote a book on why women go off sex and she also ran some interesting social experiments. She asked married men and women to keep diaries of their sex lives. What she discovered was that while it was easy for women to just write the men off as lustful pests, the men's diaries showed a deep desire for their partners. These were couples who were married for years or decades.

Picture a couple in their 40s and 50s. They are past their prime and probably overweight. And still husbands would try to initiate intimacy. They really do want their partners and are hurt by their declining sex life. They feel unloved and lonely inside of a marriage.

These men were not looking to younger, thinner, prettier women for love and sex. They still wanted their wives. A man may appreciate a nice ass walking by but he isn't necessarily going to date her (unless he is a cheating asshole). What he wants is for his wife to enjoy sex with him.

Love isn't going to fade because he is aware there are more attractive women about. Maybe in a woman's mind the availability of higher status, taller, richer men means she loses interest in her current partner. But men don't work that way, generally speaking.

Ohms2North · 2022-08-21T22:40:09+00:00

Just don't get fat and you'll be fine

Impressive_Sport_975 · 2022-08-21T23:50:51+00:00

For me Yes if she is not an 7 out of 10 I will lose attraction over time.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-08-21T12:48:58+00:00

The wife goggles thing happens out of having regular sex. The male brain isn't a naive optimist, if it's getting regular sex from one woman it's not going to end that to chase the scant opportunity with another woman when realistically it knows it won't get regular sex there. Such thoughts are to depressing, so the brain finds it much easier to focus on the wife.

SuperCrazy07 · 2022-08-21T17:03:51+00:00

As a guy in his 40s…

Yes, most guys lose some attraction.

Yes, your lives become intertwined. It can be hard to leave.

No, I’m not interested in relationships with 20 year olds (this is a crazy misconception on PPD). To me college students would be completely off limits. 22-27 at most a fling. Anything else is setting myself up to lose half my shit. Or be cheated on constantly. I know many successful men in their 40s and zero who want a serious ltr with a 20 yo girl (ONS maybe).

Wife goggles happen to unattractive men that can’t fuck anyone else so they overlook the flaws of their sole source of pussy.

If you actually marry a worthwhile woman, there is a net positive trade off between her being less hot and having someone valuable in your life. If not, you go cry about it in dead bedrooms (or here). Or leave.

In my mind, marriage benefits the person who brings less, but not nothing, to the table.

This is a bit harsh, but I wouldn’t go on a first date with my wife if we met for the first time today. The opposite is clearly not true.

But given our shared history, she does add value, combined with high transaction costs of divorce, it doesn’t make sense to leave (unless a guy wants to spin plates forever). Otherwise you’re in the same spot in a few years.

abaxeron · 2022-08-21T11:29:54+00:00

Do men lose attraction to their partners over time?

Technically yes, since we lose attraction to everyone over time. Once you pass the age of 30, sex just stops taking so much place on the totempole of priorities.

guys on here seem to worry so much for being "settled for" yet they go on to claim they are most attracted to 20 year old's, doesn't that mean every man would be settling in a long term relationship?

Briffault's law:

"The female, not the male, determines all the conditions of the animal family. Where the female can derive no benefit from association with the male, no such association takes place.”

Corollary 1:

"Past benefits provided by the male do not provide for continued or future association."

Men are simple creatures. We love our stomachs full and our balls empty. And we're capable of appreciating sacrifices made for us in the past. If a woman gave birth to my child, no matter how much it changed her appearance, in some sense, it automatically puts her above every of 3.5 billion other women in the world. Even if it happened 40 years ago.

On the other hand, as one wonderful person has put it years ago, "hypergamy does not care. It does not care that you absorbed her student debt, got her out of prison, and helped raising her child from another man".

The reason men are attracted to youth is because in women, youth is tied to fertility, way more strongly than in men. If a woman has spent her fertility on my genes, staying with her is the opposite of settling.

SilentFroggy · 2022-08-21T12:03:25+00:00

If she spent her youth with me and not with other men, then I don’t care how bad she ages. I would possibly lose attraction to her but not loyalty.

2022-08-21T16:51:19+00:00

Yes. I've loved women before but I will never be as attracted to a woman after I've been inside her as I was beforehand

It's that simple.

New pussy will always be more enticing in that regard. Many might not pick it for other reasons but yeah

badsign12 · 2022-08-21T16:51:58+00:00

First, I've never seen a more clear example of hypocritical projection than men claiming that women love conditionally and men love unconditionally, except when the bitch gets fat or passes 30. I mean, come the fuck on, guys.

On topic, men and women lose some attraction to their partners in most cases. The song you first heard 25 years ago doesn't grab you the way it did then. Our nervous systems and our emotional systems acclimate, whether to a song or a friend or a lover. So even if we stay exactly the same, some of that tingle diminishes.

It helps if both partners know this and make an effort to keep some novelty in their relationship. It helps if they deal with their own aging well. It helps if they accept that young pretty things, male or female, are nice to look at and will catch their eye and their partner's eye from time to time. This is all a challenge, but not herculean. It's really just living on purpose and accepting some inevitable realities.

If you do most of this, sometimes something happens. The way an old song will hit you, not with that fresh excitement of a novel experience, but with a quieter but deeper sense of connection. The song touches memories of how it felt then, but more importantly it reminds you of who you were and how intensely you felt and how passionately you believed.

Wife goggles or husband goggles don't change the way you see your partner so much as change the way you see yourself. And not deceptively. That younger, recklessly impassioned man or woman is still there begging to come out and play, if only for an hour or a day before needing to rest a bit. But he or she is there.

Waiting. For a sign that it's time to feel what we felt when we first heard that song.

Edit: spelling

LouisdeRouvroy · 2022-08-21T15:54:11+00:00

I dont understand male sexuality and relationship thinking.

There's a sub titled "don't put your dick in it".

Men's sex drive is about putting his dick in a woman. Which woman? Well, the woman who accepts him.

You're confused because women need to first be attracted to a man to have sex with but men don't need to be attracted to have sex.

So men can differentiate between women who they find most attractive (basically 22 years old throughout men's lives are considered most attractive), and women who they can have sex with (basically almost all women who are willing).

So at 50, you're okay with sticking your dick in a 50 years old woman or in a 25. At 25, maybe you won't go for the 50 one.

Basically, men playing field expand while they age. Women's are narrow from start to finish.

Now, about having sex with your 50 years old wife. Of course, a single man will definitely opt for the 25 vs. the 50. But if you're married, it might be not be the case because of habit, of comfort, she knows how to please, etc.

But still, any husband would take their wife at 25 rather than at 50 from a purely sexual attraction point of view.

edjohn88 · 2022-08-21T14:43:53+00:00

This is why I don’t believe any “lifelong” relationship is possible without a woman involved who is either bisexual or completely comfortable with an open approach.

Of course we look at mid twenties from the perspective of sexual preference initially, but if she is mature for her age, then she has more going for her than any attractive but mature woman does. The only advantage the LTR woman has is we men do develop parallel love for her (the mental and emotional parts) besides the physical.

So in the end, we value long lasting friendship and dare I say romance, but as long as we have balls we will have a strong desire to have new sexual experiences, preferably with women in their prime. Most men simply can’t manage this complexity or can’t even attract new high value women, so no one notices that men desire it. Also many men are so comfortable in their complacency they parrot the feminine mantra that they’re “happily married”, “in love”, whatever sounds warm and fuzZy and conceals the fact that they never lose the visceral desire for youth and virility.

A high value man can afford to demand this type of compromise, however, because he brings enough value to both the older women who have stuck by him and the younger women he plays (or they play) with. It is rare to see this work, but if you take masculinity and femininity to their ultimate form, its the only real balance between male and female imperatives. Men want to be prolific and sure of their paternity, women want to be attached to the highest value man who will take care of them (at least emotionally in this day and age).

I’m still unsure if the ideal is 3-4 people actually living together, or a 2 person marriage with flexibility… but it certainly isn’t 2 people fucking only each other from age 25 or whatever until death.

gobblegoobleoneofus · 2022-08-21T17:04:10+00:00

yes around 6 months is when I am not as excited about them. I need variety

Illustrious-Dirt2576 · 2022-08-21T12:28:25+00:00

My boss has been with his wife for 25 years and he still only loves her.

Sure he looks at other women but he still has a lot of lust for his own wife.

He never cheated and he just is not that guy to cheat.

I come from a broken home and I cheated many times even though I know it´s wrong.

It´s possible but a lot of men are just not programmed this way, they prefer sleeping around or maybe even an open relationship.

Women also need to realize that a lot of modern women don´t have any clue how to keep a man interested for that period of time.

shadowofdoubt13 · 2022-08-21T21:17:49+00:00

_revelationary · 2022-08-21T10:27:15+00:00

Probably. I’ve heard the term “wife goggles” on here and that makes me feel better. It’s this idea that in long term relationships men still have this idealized image in their brains of the younger woman they married, which makes them stay attracted to their SO. I’m not sure I buy it. I see myself getting less objectively attractive even though I take care of myself, so I am betting he sees it too. He still acts like he’s attracted though. For context, I’m 32 and we’ve been together 12 years.

I’m a therapist so I talk to a lot of people. Men also get less objectively physically attractive with age. There’s an assumption if they have status or money they can still be high value. But I talk to lots of women who feel less attracted to their spouses. I also talk to lots of women who feel they’ve “let themselves go” and their husbands aren’t attracted.

Since in a long term relationship both parties are going to age, the relationship — even the sexual part — needs to be built on more than just physical passion and good communication is essential. And knowing that to stay in love long-term requires effort and give/take from both parties.

Unexpected-bug · 2022-08-21T20:15:47+00:00

Yes. And it is directly associated with the Coolidge effect, it has biological basis. You may want to read: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coolidge_effect

meattornado52 · 2022-08-21T20:29:03+00:00

The Coolidge effect is a thing, but it turns out if you view the human experience as more than a bunch of meatbags eating, crapping, and fucking, you can see how endlessly chasing lust doesn’t bring you or society prosperity. I’m sure happily-married men with teenage daughters have that fleeting thought, but they understand that their union with their wife is more important than feeding that desire. Even a lot of atheists will still espouse Christian virtues.

Makaveli676 · 2022-08-21T20:50:43+00:00

There are studies that show that men of all different ages find 20-21 year old women most attractive whereas women find men of all different ages attractive. But this definitely isn’t a fairytale where women’s charm stays evergreen, it definitely does fade with time. There’s always exceptions to the rules, but most men lose attraction to their partner’s beauty over time. Many older men I’ve discussed with say the same, but they try to remain devoted to their partners despite the fact.

boomershack · 2022-08-21T22:32:18+00:00

If both Man and Woman are holding up their end of the deal in the Marriage and the man happens to be a Good Mature Man, no he will not lose attraction to his partner over time.

He will understand the sacrifices needed to make for Love to work while being graceful and respectful about it.

Now if your man is immature and only cares about superficial things....

Do men lose attraction to their partners over time?

yes. Many guys tend to be very shallow when it comes to attraction and their partners. "Post nut clarity" is one thing but, from what I've been told, "post nut 20 years into a relationship" is a whole nother ball game.

Depends on the guy.

HuckleberryThis2012 · 2022-08-22T01:09:21+00:00

No and yes. There is a point of repetition where the hotness or newness of someone wears off. But that’s is supplemented by our feelings for you. When a guy loses attraction it’s usually based on things of a similar nature: lack of effort from one or both sides in the couple of keeping the spark going. Did you stop doing the sexual stuff you used to after things got serious or after marriage? Do you treat sex as a “let’s get it over with” thing? Maybe he did the same and that’s why that attraction went away. But it’s not a guaranteed to happen thing, and can be avoided easily by putting effort into keeping the sex life alive.

Da_Famous_Anus · 2022-08-22T03:56:15+00:00

It can happen. It doesn't always happen.

Think about it.

Do women lose their attraction to their partners over time?

RRBeachFG2 · 2022-08-22T04:06:04+00:00

Men attach to ppl like women don’t, that’s why they would die for u, so u have like 10 years to make a man love you forever; it’s on u.

EasternToe3824 · 2022-08-22T04:15:31+00:00

Where are these comments of going after 20somethings? They are a minority at best, I‘d say.

The attraction I had for a woman that went through thick and thin with me is based on more than the physical, I dare say that might be the norm, even for red pill guys.

xiaxing · 2022-08-22T04:22:15+00:00

I think men lose attraction but what really matters is holding on to the reason you fell in love in the first place and invent new ways to regenerate that feeling so it doesn’t fade away, try new things, new adventures

bootzandboyz · 2022-08-22T04:42:08+00:00

This isn't completely related, but men who prefer ladies in their twenties (18 to about 23) prefer them because it's easier to groom young ladies into what they want.

Not all men, but I'm sure there's a small percentage of men who lose attraction to their wife because they lose control of them and/or their wife gains more independence later in life.
The attraction is not necessarily based on the woman's physical looks but based more on control.

metakepone · 2022-08-22T04:53:23+00:00

It starts to not matter as you get over 30 and start to realize that its not always about the size of tits but about the compatibility of brainwaves.

rubberseatbelt · 2022-08-22T06:00:52+00:00

Quite simply, it depends.

Peacesquad · 2022-08-22T07:25:11+00:00

Most do lmao

GarthbrooksXV · 2022-08-22T08:59:20+00:00

A mature man values a woman who he can enjoy spending his life with. Looks matter less the older he gets.

Your observations on this sub of male preferences are 1) Subjective, not the person's actual response to interacting with a naive 19 yr old girl who loves dick but otherwise has nothing to share with the older person 2) The preferences of incels who have very little if any relationship experience to shape their preferences. Their preferences default to what arouses them most.

2022-08-22T09:56:29+00:00

Im 29 and going through this situation. Attraction has decreased but my respect and appreciation to what she does has increased. I think it varies from person to person

2022-08-22T13:53:01+00:00

NO they don’t. Honestly I would say that men have a stricter code when it comes to “duty”. A man will grind himself to dust providing for a family with zero appreciation. Then his wife divorces him and takes half of everything for being to busy with work all the time.

BCEXP · 2022-08-22T16:08:58+00:00

I dont understand male sexuality and relationship thinking.

Because men and women are different

2022-08-24T08:35:11+00:00

Great question. I would never want to date a guy that's only interested in much younger women as it indicates they are very superficial, immature and have the wrong values for long-term commitment.

When looking for a life partner you have to accept them aging and a guy obsessed with younger women is a poor risk. He likely won't find you attractive once you age (thus cheat or dump you), more likely to be immature for his cohort of peers (can be a redflag he won't ever grow up and stop partying for example) and is likely very superficial in valuing looks of character for instance.

Davegvg · 2022-09-18T15:06:30+00:00

Depends.

I become less attracted to women I dont get along with over time no matter how beautiful they might have been or still are.

IF the relationship is good they get more beautiful and attractive to me.

When I look at my wife I see the same woman I saw 20 years ago and because our relationship is great - its even better. Im more in love than I was when we married.

Title	Do men lose attraction to their partners over time?
Author	Trishlikefish2
Upvotes	114
Comments	227
Date	August 21, 2022 10:12 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-men-lose-attraction-to-their-partners-over-time.1128606 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128606
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wtw3pq/do_men_lose_attraction_to_their_partners_over_time/