I was talking with my maternal uncle about the manosphere and he brought up a good question and point: “What about marrying a friend? Marry someone you like to be around because you like their personality? Unless he’s between 18 and 25, men who obsess over age dont want an equal. They want someone to stroke his ego.”

Then it bothered me when someone wrote this:

"Women's effort into a relationship is similar to the effort that women put into a friendship. I mean, what do they do? They breath? They put clothes on? They pretend like they are interested in what the other person is doing. That's basically how you start a friendship.”

No. How about going beyond to help them with their problems? For example, I drove to the opposite end of the city 2 minutes after finding out my gay friend got kicked out by his homophobic dad. Helping them run errands? Indulging in their interests even though you didnt care for those interests initially? Putting up with their flaws as much they put up with yours? Having get-togethers? Finding awesome gifts for them?

Basically, I feel there’s this notion that guys should put 0 effort in maintaining any of the relationships they obtain, be it friends, families, or lover. Having a “I just need sex and I’m good” mentality is great for No-Strings-Attached situation. It’s a horrible mentality to have for a relationship.

It reminds me of Southpark where Heidi was trying to make the relationship with Cartman work, but he hated it, and he loved how Alexa would only talk when spoken to. However, he would always beg Heidi to come back because he didnt want to be alone. He liked the perks of a relationship, but hated work put into it.