Do you consider engaged/married men more attractive?

WayOutWest19 · 2020-07-01T06:19:13+00:00

Haha that was actually the plot of 30 Rock episode. Can’t say I’ve ever found a guy attractive because he’s taken, but it makes sense that when you’re happy and confident, people respond positively.

HappilyMrs · 2020-07-01T07:07:43+00:00

Not because hes married/engaged. Hrs more likely to be married or engaged because he's attractive, rather than the other way round.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2020-07-01T07:19:54+00:00

Nope. But I do have a thing - weird attraction - for divorced men (that don't hate women and were non-abusive....) and maintained good sportsmanship. They've gained a realistic outlook while demonstrating they can endure hardship until the very end with a woman.

phlegmdawg · 2020-07-01T08:07:45+00:00

Nah. The two things have no connection in my mind.

quokkita · 2020-07-01T07:16:01+00:00

depends how he treats his partner. if he seems like a good fiance or husband, then sure he would seem more attractive. but i think the characteristics that made him a good partner probably made him attractive regardless of relationship status. soooo, no.

for whatever it's worth, here's what's more likely happening with getting more attention: yes, dressing better and confidence is helping you. but even more than that, people are attracted to people who don't _want_ anything from them. goes for men and for women. you're probably giving off less of a vibe of wanting women's approval, and counterintuitively, that's what makes you more likely to get their approval.

think about the interacting with a sales person. you know the ones who believe in their product and don't work on commission? it shows. and the ones who are desperate for you to buy and will pressure you to do so? it also shows.

but i could be wrong ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

2020-07-01T07:16:01+00:00

Not really. I have some kind of a blockage, I just can't think of married men or men with girlfriends as attractive. It always made me feel embarrassed and awkward to even consider something like that.

Same with teachers. I had some really objectively attractive young teachers at my University that were almost my age. But I just couldn't consider them hot, because that made me feel weird.

AutoModerator · 2020-07-01T06:03:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

NarniaFox · 2020-07-01T09:09:15+00:00

From my experience it's a correlation and not causation. Guys who are "taken" tend to be better in some way than the ones who are single. But that's just my experience. I know a few guys and if they weren't attractive to me when they were single, they are still non-attractive when they get LTRs. The opposite works too, the guys who looked like a great company continue to look like that when they got relationships.

Edit: but I guess there are people who get attracted specifically to "the taken". Both men and women. My husband got more attention from girls in our university when we started dating. Plus, it turned out that some girls had "plans" on him and I got nasty messages from them.

rosmaskinen · 2020-07-01T15:34:13+00:00

No. It's important for me to act according to my values and practice sisterhood by respecting relationships and other women enough to not hit on taken men. Of course it can be a bummer to hit it off with someone who turns out to be taken, but pursuing anyway is something I would find morally repulsive.

GennyX · 2020-07-01T08:27:01+00:00

misiepatysie · 2020-07-01T09:35:48+00:00

No. Him being good for a different women than I, says absolutely zero about how good of a mach he would be for me.

87AudreyHorne · 2020-07-01T10:42:10+00:00

No! Not even out of the respect for the relationship or whatnot (if I wanted to sleep with a married guy I'd see it as his betrayal and not mine), but it simply doesn't add anything to the guy and I will definitely not show any interest first. but I don't get involved in people's marriages, I get that sometimes things are complicated.

And fathers become almost asexual beings for me.

SaBahRub · 2020-07-01T15:36:58+00:00

Not more attractive, just less likely to perv on you openly

2020-07-01T18:56:52+00:00

When I was single, not at all. It's like those guys are invisible to me. However, my husband told me that when we got married and started wearing his ring to work he started getting hit on ALL of the time!

AggravatingTartlet · 2020-07-01T23:31:50+00:00

No. They are not more or less attractive.

Married men do attract women who are looking for NSA sex though and those who get a thrill out of the whole idea of sneaking around with a married man.

If you've physically improved since getting engaged, there's your answer.

Peacheslikeyou · 2020-07-02T00:12:45+00:00

No? That's just weird, he's taken.

kwalden2 · 2020-07-01T07:01:48+00:00

One word: No. Relationship status is just a matter of happenstance as far as I'm concerned. That's on just a pure level of "initial attraction."

On a deeper level of having interest in actually getting with the guy?? No, it makes him less attractive. Nobody wants to play second fiddle, be an exit affair, or be a rebound.

Willow-girl · 2020-07-01T11:36:04+00:00

Engaged/married men generally don't reek of desperation.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-01T06:25:43+00:00

[removed]

Pola_Lita · 2020-07-01T06:42:38+00:00

A happy man is always most attractive plus when he's very close with a woman he's more likely to seek her advice in clothing style and quality, haircuts, facial hair, etc.

And love is a nice feeling even if you don't know exactly why you're feeling it from that person. New fathers give off that sensation to me, too.

VexingTetrimino · 2020-07-01T07:03:45+00:00

nope. i usually see that taken men are painfully complacent.

moosecakies · 2020-07-01T07:31:24+00:00

It’s not because ‘you’ve managed to get a woman to marry you ‘ ... it’s because it’s assumed you’re loyal, not commitmaphobic , likely not broke , probably better dressed and groomed , perhaps helpful to your significant other in person , or even in pictures going on ‘trips ‘ and ‘vacations’ together which looks romantic to other women and makes them very envious of that lifestyle . Since many men don’t treat their women well or appreciate them when a women sees another woman have this it automatically catches her eye.

All of that and you could just be VERY good looking 💁🏻‍♀️

If however, a married or engaged man hit on me I would be repulsed and disgusted. I’m certain if they would do to them they would do to me. But not all women feel this way , they’re naive and competitive. Don’t feel special just because you get more attention. It’s your significant other that’s likely making others envious.

Source - a woman that has been envious when I see a good looking engaged/married man seemingly ‘in love’ with another woman doting on her and taking her on nice trips while guys on bumble want casual sex and ‘coffee dates’ . No thank you .

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-07-01T08:52:10+00:00

They are more attractive. Looking at married man I would assume he is (more likely) more responsible, committed, as he chooses one woman instead of fucking around. He is capable of pair bounding and probably has healthier personality compare to singles. In business I would trust married more, especially if his marriage is good and lasts.

RottingAway90 · 2020-07-01T10:11:33+00:00

Sadly yes lol

SpanishTimbrado · 2020-07-01T08:32:52+00:00

unlimited-kuudere · 2020-07-01T08:59:08+00:00

All this pills be toxic

1reason_thats_me · 2020-07-01T09:06:55+00:00

Ohhh, it definitely because you made changes lol.

iamsojellyofu · 2020-07-01T10:41:38+00:00

No. It’s about the same.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-07-01T14:09:31+00:00

[removed]

GGMcThroway · 2020-07-01T15:33:21+00:00

Nah. But I think it's easier to get to know guys when you don't have have to worry about them taking your being nice as an open invitation to start aggressively pursuing you while ignoring your boundaries. That could make it easier to get a crush.

Also guys with female partners are already pre-vetted, in a way.

rubbooyuri · 2020-07-01T15:35:13+00:00

No, just safer. Still gotta be on your guard, despite the extra vetting

Mimoxs · 2020-07-01T16:12:11+00:00

No, kind of the opposite, it feels like "used goods"

If it's just a dating relationship, it's ehhhh, but married feels weird. Also even if it's not the case I just can't picture a married man as not old. Married people feel old

SiaSara · 2020-07-01T20:48:33+00:00

No I get put off when a guy is taken

gaylord_creator · 2020-07-01T21:32:27+00:00

I never have before but Ive had two guys admit to me they found me less attractive because I was single and not married. They both had a fetish for being a bull. They said that it wasn't exciting to get involved with me because there was no one to steal me from. I'm not even making this shit up, this really happened. And I liked one of the guys.

2020-07-01T22:35:31+00:00

less attractive. i picture the husband memes where hes laying on the couch while the woman is doing childcare/home labor.

goatismycopilot · 2020-07-02T11:33:33+00:00

No. Some men who have been married a long time tend to get sloppy an unconcerned by their appearance. Many long term married couples check out and look sloppy together.

slavicgypsygirl · 2020-07-02T22:07:12+00:00

I dont bc my attraction to men is always physical

Vaca_Sagrada · 2020-07-02T22:33:24+00:00

The answers to this topic highlight why we will never be able to frikin get a good answer to a man-woman dynamics question coming from a woman, because they think with their emotional brain.

The evidence is incontrovertible that women find married men more attractive, yet 99% of answers here come from moral giants who find themselves lightyears above the mere thought of thinking sexually about a married guy.

When, god forbid, such a thought is even entertained, the cascade of rationalizations is an even greater event to witness:

· He seems safer: yeah right, George from Accounting seemed quite the adventurous daredevil rascal before he got married.

· He demonstrated being responsible: yeah right, George from Accounting used to come to work high on cocaine until the literal day before he became a married man.

My God living on an estrogen-filled body must be a nightmare.

Asbelowsoaboveme · 2020-07-03T16:50:52+00:00

Yeah, if I’m already attracted to him. It means there’s something to him, he has something going for him that other women can see, he’s commitment minded, he’s more likely to be safe, and taken men also have a lack of thirst and desperation which is very attractive.

A taken guy is much more attractive than a single guy who might be a non committal fuck boy with a porn addiction and a crappy job. A guy who has already been vetted is a safer bet for being boyfriend material.

I’d never poach another woman’s boyfriend, though. Because I have morals, and because a man who’s prepared to branch swing FOR you will branch swing ON you.

TheGhostProofBlanket · 2020-07-05T15:15:10+00:00

Yes, I always see an attractive guy and then DRATS. a ring on the finger. I think its cause all the attractive guys get swooped up.

FlavFal · 2020-07-01T11:11:53+00:00

I see them as less attractive.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-07-01T14:19:30+00:00

No most definitely not in general, if someone is attractive they're also attractive when in a relationship. The fact they managed to get one is hardly a plus point in today's day n age.

Also I would never go for someone who's taken, it's called not being a scumbag. I know what it's like to be cheated on and it's no fun.

_mwk · 2020-07-01T21:01:51+00:00

Yes. The ring looks good.

ItsTheHardCockLife · 2020-07-01T06:22:23+00:00

No, I consider individuals that care about foolish traditions and social labels to be the opposite of attractive.

Is it because of the changes I've made to myself, or is it because married/engaged men are more attractive?

Maybe both, maybe one, maybe neither and some other factor?

Title	Do you consider engaged/married men more attractive?
Author	geyejoe7
Upvotes	23
Comments	104
Date	July 1, 2020 6:03 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hj4myb/do_you_consider_engagedmarried_men_more_attractive/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-consider-engagedmarried-men-more-attractive.702623 https://theredarchive.com/post/702623