Do you find women on dating apps are markedly different in SMV, or are the women you meet on OLD basically the same women you meet IRL?

Hoopy223 · 2021-09-08T21:54:23+00:00

The women I have dated in “Real Life” never would’ve spoken to me Online because I am not 6ft tall etc. Thats the thing about Tinder etc, the bar is a lot higher for men online.

ghostinthepost · 2021-09-08T22:56:27+00:00

emotional maturity, reliability when it comes to making good decisions, value as a long-term partner or spouse, and in the sense of having their lives together

It's real hard to judge this when most of their profiles just say some combination of

I like traveling
I like the office
I like to laugh/have fun

Of the very few I actually match and have any semblance of a conversation with? They tend to be less mature, less educated, more tatted, and often single moms but again I'm very ugly so the few matches I get are pretty bottom of the barrel.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-09-08T22:57:31+00:00

I've actually seen one or two of the women walking around in public from a dating app. They looked about the same enough to be recognizable, but they were also the lesser attractive ones. I don't think I've ever seen one of the Instagram model-tier women anywhere in public. Could be because they don't look like their pictures IRL or because they just live their lives in places that don't overlap with me.

hardstruck · 2021-09-09T00:18:18+00:00

I haven't used apps in idk how many years, I never expected to get much from it. Girls I matched with were better looking than I expected but trying to actually to meet them in person was more annoying than it really should be. One girl i met at a bar for a drink ended up telling me that she got pregnant with her first kid when she was 13. On the way home from that one I pulled over and deleted the app.

Personally I think the gender ratio of swipe apps is a bit telling. My own philosophy on it is that it's a lot like porn, where the majority of the content is more appealing to men than women which likely means that the women who use it are more sexually masculine. For porn, I've seen data that bisexuals and lesbians tend to use it more, which is why pornhub stats show they like lesbian and gay male porn so much. I'd guess that there's a similar thing going on with tinder girls being more sexually masculine.

-Ivar-TheBoneless · 2021-09-09T05:05:41+00:00

The women on OLD are bottom of the barrel for the most part. Men on OLD usually have to go for women below them in SMV for the most part if they want to get laid. Which is why they are just hookup sites because men don't want them for anything besides just getting it in.

JumboJetz · 2021-09-08T22:17:01+00:00

There’s a lot more freaky weird looking women online than in real life. There’s also far more traps than I see in real life (understandably).

Jakes1967 · 2021-09-08T21:53:33+00:00

Do you find women on dating apps are markedly different in SMV, or are the women you meet on OLD basically the same women you meet IRL?

A female friend of mine, in her mid 40s, let me look through her one OLD. She's a 4 to 5 on a normal day, on the heavier side, but the woman I saw, was an 8, maybe even a 9.

She looked late 20s and everything was on point. She knew how to use makeup, filters and clothing. She looked seriously Smoking Hot.

I've rarely seen someone like that IRL, except at events etc.

helloiamheretohelp · 2021-09-08T22:54:22+00:00

...implying there’s a ‘real life’ where you can actually meet women

NockerJoe · 2021-09-08T21:59:45+00:00

OLD women are generally less attractive, pickier, usually have more red flags, and basically everything else you can think of in my experience.

I think a big part of why is with OLD, less attractive women can have abubdance without needing to develop social skills or having to work on themselves in any real way. With men the competition is so fairce a dude needs to show off all his social media, a decent fashion sense, be well groomed, and still take enough rejection he develops resiliance, and thats basically just the barrier to entry, not finding a lot of success. Meanwhile women just kinda need to be a warm body and an actual human who wants to have an actual date, and not a bot or an eGirl plugging her Insta/Snap/OF and she can at least have some level of interest.

But the flip side, again just in my experience, is once you reach a certain threshold and also develop social skills to a certain level, its easier to just nut up and go for it IRL. Because IRL there aren't six other dudes trying to talk at that moment and you can physically see and hear what you're getting yourself into way more easily than with a heavily edited bio and text conversation that removes the subtlety of actual human speech.

Fudstersecured · 2021-09-08T23:56:01+00:00

In terms of looks, maybe slightly lower on average than women that would be interested in me IRL. In terms of maturity and reliability, some women I’ve matched with seem pretty solid in these areas. But I really don’t have enough data. I’ve met all of my serious partners in person through my social circles

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-09-09T05:58:50+00:00

There's an ocean between women who use dating apps and women who have never used it.

daddysgotanew · 2021-09-09T12:48:19+00:00

They’re all the same. Women are women. No matter what part of the world they come from or where you meet them. Biology is biology. I’ve met a bunch of them. They’re real women that just happen to be using an app

Simple-Craft-9577 · 2021-09-08T21:56:29+00:00

I’ve never had a bad experience. There are all kinds of folks on apps. All about luck in terms of being able to find and connect with the good ones.

KJ1017 · 2021-09-09T00:05:07+00:00

The women I match with on apps are uglier than the ones I tend to meet in person.

But personality wise they’re all pretty much the same.

Smoogs2 · 2021-09-09T00:31:22+00:00

Yes, most of women I met on OLD were there for validation purposes or sexting. It was far more rare that they actually wanted to meet me in person. I feel like the women I “met” IRL wanted to date and meet again much more quickly.

Makes sense as the “first meet” aspect of meeting IRL already happened so there is not that hump to get over or anxiety to overcome…. But also… lots of women OLD to just sext and feel wanted. So I think it’s a combination of both or more factors.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-09-09T02:09:40+00:00

OLD is like a really really expensive used car lot.

Shiny looking used cars that look ALMOST new in the ad.

But, you get there... and the car is burning oil. And the shocks are gone. And the front end is as loose as Mia Khalifa, and there is touch-up paint failing to cover up some serious rust around the wheel wells. And the overpowering scent of air freshener in the car fails to mask the cigarette smoke and... that... other odor...

And then you wonder how far back they turned the odometer.

And this greasy looking guy with black chest hair and too many gold chains comes out of the lot trailer and says "Hello my friend! Let's get you set up, okay! We're going to set you up just right!"

hesipullupjimbo445 · 2021-09-08T23:44:38+00:00

No they’re the same for the most part but the situations they’re in and the way they act are drastically different. On OLD she’s calling the shots but irl she’ll be hanging out of some guys ass trying to cope with the rejection.

NigroqueSimillima · 2021-09-09T03:55:30+00:00

Not really.

I've meet plenty of extremely attractive girls online. Most attractve girls IRL are in realtionships. Most of the girls I date online are doctors, engineers, or other successful careers, but that makes sense as I myself have my shit together.

Artistic_Guest4386 · 2021-09-09T10:33:47+00:00

I work in a gym and a lot of attractive girls are on there, my town is small and the gym is the biggest one here so its basically like real life tinder for me. Its a bit surreal, I have spoken to a good portion of them online only but in real life we barely say a word to eachother.

Most of them look like their pics.

On the other hand, I have seen Tom Cruise in real life, up close, and he has a much bigger nose and looks older and has frightening hooded eyes that you dont really get a sense of on screen.

The camera does things to certain people. Which is why a lot of models look fuckin weird IRL

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-09-09T04:18:36+00:00

Most of the women you find online are overweight, mentally disturbed, single mothers - or some combination of those things. And that's the ones who aren't bots and scam artists.

LowCreddit · 2021-09-08T23:11:04+00:00

I have never done online dating, but watching older women tailor their facebook profiles to not look 30/40/etc is hilarious. One real estate agent who is in her 60s uses a picture from her 30s in marketing material. I laugh so hard whenever I see it.

thegr8profiter · 2021-09-09T04:18:05+00:00

To be honest, why will anyone be dating online. One, lack of your demographic preference in your locality. Two, you are a fucking weirdo noone wants to hang out with. Three, you are trying to hook up without effort. Four, you want to try out the types you have fetish for- this includes extremely small petite women, tall men, big ass, small boobs and big dicks

AutoModerator · 2021-09-08T21:39:26+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-09-08T23:08:38+00:00

About the same give or take, I live in a major city so it's a wide variety of people regardless

ohheyhi99 · 2021-09-09T00:20:57+00:00

I think the women I see on OLD are no less attractive than the ones I see IRL.

chilikettlechips · 2021-09-09T04:09:40+00:00

I travel a lot, different cities or countries and for the phone apps OLD America has the widest range of scores. Way more 3-4s and 8-9s than anything in between. While other countries have more 5-9s.

roman99789 · 2021-09-09T09:14:24+00:00

It depends on the app. I pay for one app and get high quality matches because it has fairly strict rules.

MasterTeacher123 · 2021-09-09T11:41:33+00:00

I get better girls IRL on average than I do online even thigh I have had my share of success online, I met my current GF on hinge for example

All that other stuff honestly is the same

back_in_blyat · 2021-09-09T13:54:42+00:00

Women you meet on OLD are there because they either A) are beautiful wastes of oxygen and are there purely for a dopamine kick via validation and may as well just be bots in practice, or B) are there because they are unable to meet someone IRL. If you are unable to meet someone IRL, there can be valid reasons for that, or there can be some legitimate reg flag reasons for that. The odds are not in your favor with that in mind. The same logic applies to men too, just a decent bit less of the "A" categories up there.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2021-09-09T14:07:51+00:00

Women on dating apps seem to have an inflated sense of their own SMV. On top of that, they all seem to put the exact same shit in their bios.

"I only liked you for your dog"

"The super like was an accident"

"I like tacos"

"Sapiosexual"

"I like the office/parks and rec"

It's like they're all part of the same internet hive mind or something. It's kinda weird.

The problem is that a guy is more likely to meet women like that because of how easily dating apps connect people.

Women IRL seem to be more likely to have a mind of their own and generally have more realistic standards. The problem is that the stars have to be aligned in order for a guy to meet them in a normal/natural way that doesn't feel forced. Lightning will usually strike twice before that happens.

I've found that in real life the chances of a woman liking me are significantly better than online but they almost never speak up about it. So the only way I find out is through someone else 2 years after the fact.

It's crazy to me how online is seems to be such a shit show for guys. Like it's purely "looks, money, status" and "80% of us below average". But I can go out into the real world and see plenty of Joe Schmoes (average in every sense of the word) with decently attractive women. It truly blows my mind and I wish I understood what in the hell is going on.

Insidious-Sid · 2021-09-09T17:58:50+00:00

Reports from the field:

Women online can create photos and avatars that look:

a) 10 years younger

b) 100 pounds lighter

c) 4 SMV points higher

Guys are coming from "would bang" dates saying "Um, no."

Lying is never a good thing ladies. Please stop. Less awkward dates that way yes?

And please stop the "look how far away my feet look" beach pics. Just. Stop.

heyitsjeape · 2021-09-09T18:09:28+00:00

I haven’t used online dating in over 10 years so I don’t know if anything has changed. I don’t think the people online - including myself - were as desirable as people in the world at large. If we were, we probably would not have resorted to online dating.

meme_lords_unite · 2021-09-09T23:26:05+00:00

AWALT

nonedat · 2021-09-10T21:03:55+00:00

Yes. Every time I open a dating app, I'd say about 90% of women's profiles have no bio with a good portion of those just linking to their Instagrams. You're not meant to take dating apps seriously - guys are falling into this trap and it's causing a lot of problems.

TodTheRod01 · 2021-09-10T21:20:02+00:00

I mean they are the same women I see day to day....although I will say i see more fat women online because of where I tend to hangout (fitness/health minded places)

Even when Ive tried to use filters not to see them...short of having weight options...the filters on dating apps are to vague or people are delusional