Do you want to be the “ pretty “one in your relationships ?

nemporisso · 2021-02-08T19:03:36+00:00

I have to be. I wouldn't reject someone because of it though.

Flightlessbirbz · 2021-02-08T20:34:10+00:00

For the most part, men do not engage in long-term relationships with women who are less physically attractive than they are. So if a man I judge to be more attractive than me shows any kind of interest, my suspicions are already raised.

So that means the answer is “yes,” but it’s not primarily due to wanting to “be the pretty one.” I just don’t trust a more attractive man’s intentions because I know most men want the best looking woman they can get but will mess around with less attractive women in the meantime. Putting a lot of time and energy into looks (not just staying clean and presentable) often correlates with a guy being more narcissistic I’ve found, too.

PlanetSquare · 2021-02-08T20:00:18+00:00

I don't care if they are "the pretty one" as long as they don't treat me bad because I'm below them or something.

I don't care if I'm "the pretty one" as long as they aren't constantly trying to neg me or put me down, taking their own insecurities out on me.

MiaMouseyK · 2021-02-08T20:19:14+00:00

As a lesbian, I am constantly asking myself questions like this. I like being feminine, and I also have a preference for other feminine WLW. I only have come out in quaritine, so I have no dating experience, but when on dating apps like bumble, and I see a women who is much more attractive than me, I often think to myself, "do I want to be with her, or do I want to be her?" The answer for me, is both. I yearn for that conventional attractiveness for myself, I want to be confident that I am pretty. But I also want a partner who is confident that they are pretty.

Honestly, I think for me I wouldn't care all that much if I am not the 'pretty one' in the relationship, so long as I am self assured in my body. I find that so long as I love my body, my face, and my partner is fine with my looks, I can feel like I'm a pretty person without having the be 'the pretty one'.

Self love is something learned and worked on, at least for me. Constantly comparing my physical worth to another person, nevermind my partner, is just asking for a dump truck of feelings of insecurities. The beauty of each individual person should be appreciated on it's own, not being compared to everyone else.

Ideally, yeah, I'd love to be the pretty one in the relationship, but if I'm thinking along those lines, even if I actually am the pretty one, I am mentally putting my partner down when they're not asking to be compared, and I just think that's too mean of me to do.

Kinda a mushy hippy Love-yourself-and-love-everyone kind of view, but that's my opinion on the matter :/

huhuhuhuh11 · 2021-02-08T23:01:05+00:00

My perception of highly attractive men has been warped by media, society, shows, etc.

Shows like King of Queens, George Lopez, Proud Family, etc, ALL feature an average/unattractive male lead with a hot wife. I see this pairing so frequent in shows/movies.

Stereotypes and cultural memes that a lot of ugly/average men spout as truth about hot men also plays a role. Hot men are jerks, average/ugly guys are nice. Hot men are misogynistic meatheads and lacking intellect. Average/ugly guys are not misogynistic (lol) and are smart.

You see this shit for so long from such a young age you can't help but think hot men are just dumb jock assholes who will use you. Experience tells me most attractive men are not like this at all, most are solid dudes. Experience also tells me that unattractive men are usually not as wholesome, nice, funny, and intelligent as they like to believe themselves to be.

relish5k · 2021-02-08T19:38:53+00:00

Yes I like to be the pretty one. I would feel that way even if I was with a woman tho.

I would not go for a guy who was not my looksmatch, I wouldn't want people looking at us and going "aaaaw what a great guy, he must not be shallow at all if he is with someone like her" that said, I have a pretty high opinion of myself so I am just essentially describing male models.

IcarusKiki · 2021-02-09T00:26:54+00:00

I wanna be a pretty power couple. I wouldn’t want people to think my man is settling for me and that he can do better tho so yeah I don’t go for men more attractive than me. Plus men who are more attractive than me are usually much higher status than me anyways so the relationship would be hella unbalanced.

SmurfESmurferson · 2021-02-08T19:05:17+00:00

I don’t want to compete with a man over looks, how bizarre. I’m a woman - even a good looking man isn’t going to look anywhere in the vicinity of similar to me

What I do not want, though, is a guy prissier than me. Don’t be the guy who cares more about accessories, or spends more time getting ready

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-02-08T19:06:49+00:00

Doesn't make a difference to me.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-02-08T21:25:29+00:00

I am not into pretty boys, and none of them are prettier than me, by virtue of the fact that I am a pretty woman and that's just how that goes.

So basically no. If a "super hunk" mega conventionally attractive dude is into me I tend to be cautious but I've never thought it was a trick or anything. It happens sometimes. I tend to go for weirder looking dudes but I like the canonical "ripped, nice face" look too. Looking too groomed is not attractive to me, neither is being androgynously "pretty." I'm not attracted to women or feminine traits and that includes a pretty face or looking like you'll spend 2 hours in the bathroom getting ready to go out.

alwaysonalongtrip · 2021-02-08T23:06:08+00:00

It has nothing to do with how pretty I am. It has to do with attractive men having more options. Do I trust any man enough to date? Definitely not a hot one!

(I don't date men I don't find attractive, but there's a difference between what I find attractive and "conventionally hot")

marylerw · 2021-02-08T23:08:42+00:00

it changes a lot, sometimes i feel like my bf is way too attractive for me, other days i will feel like the “hot” one. i’m just happy to be with someone who loves me for me, on my ugly or pretty days.

miseryqueen69 · 2021-02-08T19:52:24+00:00

i’m quite an ugly woman so if an attractive man wanted to pursue a relationship with me, i’d be flattered lol.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-02-08T20:34:17+00:00

I do not assess/compare my biological appearance that often. You can turn just as many heads with a nice loud heel, confident walk, good teeth, a feminine sway and sharp/powerful outfit.

So long as my partner is a slick-dressing mother fucker with any kind style we're all good here. Hideous or not. Styles distracts from the face if you're hideous.

You must learn to finesse some other way when you aren't born-genetically blessed. 10/10s be damned. These people are shells.

ScruffleMcDufflebag · 2021-02-08T22:52:42+00:00

Insecurity is a son of a bitch!

Suffering with insecurity myself, and being an ugly one in general, for me, what you described is not what I'm "worried" about. I am going to be ugly no matter what, with or without him... of course, unless I change things about myself.

(My physical ugliness stems from my weight gain, bad skin, lack of upkeeping seemingly impossible beauty standards seen in today's celebrities and instagrammers, and of course my dgaf "Walmart Chic" persona, etc, etc. These superficial issues are fixable, but definitely expensive to do so...so "why bother" right? Maybe I will "luck out" and find that one good guy to love me for me. /s Yada, yada.)

Anyways, what I would be worried about in this instance you described is him leaving me for a better looking girl. I already know I am ugly, because of my everlasting, damning insecurity.

This is tough when dealing with insecurity. The person doesn't even have to be attractive for me to question these things. I have a habit to sabotage and self destruct. Shielding my walls to prevent crumbling, before anyone has the chance to see an unarmed, vulnerable soul, condemning any chance I have at something genuine. I have to do my best to work through these fears, very few times being successful, and it's usually never for long....

Keeping yourself grounded is key and reminding yourself not to rush to overthinking things. Easier said than done!

It is also very easy to rush to the flustered, toxic assumption, "He will never find someone like me." Usually this is said/thought of to protect ourselves from heartbreak, from our own self sabotage and victimized mentality. I've been good, as of recently, to halt these sorts of toxic thoughts, and really look at myself, and my flaws.

The truth is, there are many "good" and "bad" people out there. They come in all shapes and sizes and looks. There are beautiful men and women out there who have just as beautiful personalities and souls. There are beautiful people out there with the darkest of hearts and who have obtained a broken soul in the process. Others who are just plain evil and sadistic, and many who are somewhere in between just finding their way. The same goes for unattractive people and average looking folks, of course! There is no such thing as one specific group being a certain way and we need to remind ourselves to stop stereotyping others, in order to convince ourselves that we are better--or worse--in some way. We have to keep ourselves grounded and realize, we/they do not belong on a pedalstal; although yes, we are all unique in some way...and that's honestly a path to beating our insecurity. You can then go back to basics, find the pure soul you used to be, and work through yourself and your flaws...finding a center.

I am slowly breaking down my walls and realizing I might not be a "nice girl" after all, but that doesn't mean I'm bad. It does make me broken though. I need to pick up the pieces and put them together, so I can see the full picture. I've let the stereotype of "S/he's ugly, s/he's an outcast, s/he's been through a lot, so s/he must be a good person," taint my mind for so long. It has become a scapegoat for so many of us. I kept thinking in black and white, when there are so many shades in between and it's made me become tainted in more ways than one. I am slowly realizing the way I can find myself and cleanse myself from this toxic, programmed thinking is to come back down to earth and ground myself, so I can realize my flaws and tackle them. Looking at yourself as others would is the best way to break free from the insecurity. I have all these physical flaws, and my internal overthinking flaws are making it worse. Ground yourself, Susannah! Ground yourself.

Pretty girls with even prettier personalities exist. If I let my insecurities and darkness control me, I have become the dark soul I thought I wasn't.

Sorry, got a little lost in my thoughts there...

sublimemongrel · 2021-02-08T22:53:05+00:00

I’ve always been the “”pretty one” in my relationships but it’s just because the guys I’ve been super into weren’t “Chad” or whatever you want to call them

Unhappy-Apple222 · 2021-02-08T23:05:10+00:00

Look at that show 90 day fiance, where old ladies date foreign 20 or 30 yr old men.Some women want the arm candy just as much as some men, but I'd say, it's as long as the man himself is treating the lady like she's the best woman in the world.Otherwise there's too much Insecurity it ends in disaster.

Also see Hugh Jackman and his 13 yr older wife, or Jason Mamoa and his older wife. On paper they might look less good looking to us compared to those men,but these men seem to absolutely adore and worship these ladies, so that's why I think it works. I'd also say only when a woman thinks she'll never get that kind of adoration from better looking men that she goes for the uglies with other good/useful/sexy qualities.😊

qponmlk · 2021-02-08T23:44:52+00:00

Absolutely. They have to be just a smidge uglier. Unfortunately I’m aging so bad and I’m picky so not many options. I was hotter in my early twenties...meh.

death_by_1000_cats · 2021-02-08T19:32:59+00:00

I don't really compare the guy's hotness to my own, I compare my hotness to the hotness of other girls he's dated or is capable of getting. Which I guess in a roundabout way is comparing his hotness to mine, since hotter guys can get hotter girls.

If a guy severely out of my league -- that is, good-looking enough to get hotter girls than me -- hits on me I assume he is dumpster diving for sex. I would reject him not out of fear of being "the ugly one" but out of fear of being used/cheated on.

I will also second what Smurfy said about wanting to be the more prissy one in the relationship, which is what it means to me if I say I want to be the pretty one. I think my husband and I are pretty evenly matched in that we're both about average for our respective sexes, but I'm "prettier" than him in that I'm higher maintenance and do more primping. In this case it's not a matter of me being insecure or wanting to be the more attractive partner (which I don't think I am), it's because I find prissiness/primping in men gay and gross.

funlightmandarin · 2021-02-08T19:07:13+00:00

Can't we both be beautiful in our own ways?

My partner is very conventionally attractive, whilst I'll never be a statuesque blonde with a flat stomach with abs. He clearly finds me attractive despite not being the beauty ideal of the country. It doesn't make me insecure that he's handsome, it makes me proud that he chooses me proudly.

That said, he's not gonna be femininely attractive, he'll be masculine attractive. If he manages to spend more time putting together outfits and getting ready (and I don't use alot of time myself), I'll find that kinda unattractive tbh.

madhunnybee · 2021-02-08T19:41:45+00:00

Gee, I couldn't care less. Being pretty is a good thing and dating someone pretty is also a good thing.

AppleLightSauce · 2021-02-08T19:52:03+00:00

I prefer partners on my same level of attractiveness.

rft24 · 2021-02-08T19:57:06+00:00

i haven’t cared to really compare my beauty to anyone else’s since i was like 16, so it doesn’t matter much to me. idk, maybe it’s because, at some point in the last 4 years, i finally accepted that i’m considered conventionally attractive. i’ve had guys approach me and i’ve dated guys who i thought were exceptionally attractive (like 8 or above, even a couple 10s), and i didn’t feel insecure at all. it definitely helps that they seem to enjoy telling me how beautiful they think i am lol. i also never felt “better than” any of the average looking (and a couple below average) guys i’ve dated, it didn’t matter who was “prettier” because i still found them attractive enough to entertain them.

i know i look good, so why focus on who looks better? i’m always going to see myself as the most beautiful person in my mind, and a very attractive guy probably thinks the same about himself; so who cares? i think everyone should feel that way about themselves. everyone should feel they are beautiful, even if you know realistically that there are plenty of people out there considered “more beautiful” than you.

what i mean is you should hold the opinion that you think you’re “more beautiful”, while also understanding that this is an opinion that doesn’t (or shouldn’t) hold true for anyone but you; and that other people will hold differing opinions on how beautiful you are/how beautiful you are in comparison to someone else. i understand that there are people who’d think i’m butt ugly and people who’d think i’m average, and those opinions are valid. that doesn’t change that i still think i’m beautiful and there are others who think so too, and those opinion are also valid.

my bf is quite handsome; there are people who’d think he’s more attractive, as there are people who’d think i’m more attractive. opinions on who and what is beautiful will always differ, so it doesn’t matter who is “more beautiful” because there is no unanimous consensus on who is “more beautiful.”

some people in this sector of the internet seem to be too focused on the scientific side of beauty and will tell you beauty is not subjective. just because there is a science behind beauty, that this must mean that beauty is not subjective and people aren’t going to have differing opinions on what is beautiful; yet we see all the time that this isn’t true. no amount of science will change that i don’t think rihanna is nearly as beautiful as so many people seem to think she is. no amount of science will change that i think beyoncé is a 10 while my best friend thinks she’s a 7. it just is what it is. beauty is both subjective and objective, it doesn’t have to be one or the other.

i think i’d only feel some insecurity if he had wider hips or a fatter ass than me, but i also find those traits unattractive on a man so insecurity isn’t the sole reason i‘d reject him. i don’t think feeling insecure alone is a good enough reason to reject someone.

2021-02-08T20:05:00+00:00

In all of my relationships I never really considered who was prettier. I just thought they were pretty in my eyes

Attractive guys in the eyes of society might get a lot of stares but none of that matters unless they prove to me that they would cheat on me in a heartbeat. Cross intimidating disloyal men off the potential husband list

I won't be with a man who flirts back/entertains other women and openly disrespects me as it causes me much anxiety. If a relationship doesn't add to my tranquility and happiness I don't want it. A man that doesn't love me by my description of love is no man for me.

I'd argue getting a hot guy is better as he is tested time and time again of his loyalty in public. His level of attractiveness has never been a dealbreaker for me but it is a great way to know a guys character

*In short* I don't care about their level of attractiveness in the eyes of society but I do care if they prove to me that their moral compass allows cheating which very attractive guys have more opportunities to do when so many women wink at him. More opportunities to cheat equals more opportunities to know their character

vial_of_music · 2021-02-08T20:47:11+00:00

my boyfriend is def the prettier one lol

PreparationWorried33 · 2021-02-08T22:00:08+00:00

Back when I first started dating. When I would date men I always liked to be the better looking one. I’d want to be the better looking one by a wide margin. It was mostly because of insecurity, once I got over my insecurity I wasn’t so concerned with it.

Learningtolove2021 · 2021-02-08T22:10:18+00:00

I would not date a man who I thought was "out of my league." I'd be too insecure that he'd find someone more attractive and never be able to relax in the relationship.

2021-02-08T23:54:38+00:00

If you rate people from 1 - 10, people tend to be most happy dating someone one point above them. They have gotten a good deal looks wise, but their partner isn't so attractive they are afraid of being broken up with or cheated on. However looks aren't everything and a billionaire who is a 3 may feel very comfortable dating women who are 9s.

ivy176 · 2021-02-09T01:10:38+00:00

My husband is better looking than me, but we are in a similar bracket because I'm younger and can polish up ok. If people looked at us like we were totally mismatched then I'd feel quite bad about it. But if he's a bit better looking then I'm not going to focus on it, what we have together is the important thing. Plus we all get old and die so looks are always going to be a heartbreaking thing to place high value on.

aquariuskitty_ · 2021-02-09T03:03:54+00:00

Lol wait- doesn’t this contradict TRP theory that women only want men in the top 20%?

And no, I wouldn’t not date someone bc they’re more attractive than me. Where do y’all come up with this stuff??

Demasii · 2021-02-08T19:46:19+00:00

My hubby was definitely the pretty one in the relationship.

The first time at the mall together, he pointed out that many women were giving me dirty looks for no reason and he didn't understand why. The only reason I can determine was that he and I didn't lookmatch at the time.

We do now that he gained 40 pounds lol

I say it's 50/50 on whether a woman wants a man better or worser looking than her. Depends on her self-esteem.

cloudsongs_ · 2021-02-08T20:28:34+00:00

Not at all! I'm not competing with or jealous of my boyfriend for his looks!! Sounds like you might be describing really insecure women? But otherwise, I have never heard that

ItWasBrokenAlready · 2021-02-08T20:57:34+00:00

I can be the prettier one, as in face & body. Probably being with a male model would make me a bit insecure.

However, as opposed to other commenters here, I don't want to be extremely more 'prissy'. He'd better be quite elegant and even a bit of a dandy. I'm usually overdressed a bit, going out with a guy that looks like a slob would be more of a downer than not-6'2-chad.

_mwk · 2021-02-08T20:57:52+00:00

of course I want to be the pretty one, i want to be the beautiful one of us

that doesn't mean i want an ugly guy, I want to be the pretty one in a feminine way, im okay with the guy being the pretty one in a masculine way

to illustrate: ruby rose is very pretty in a masculine way, kpop boys are pretty in a feminine way, zac effron is pretty in a masculine way

Bastayaporfa · 2021-02-08T21:00:06+00:00

I'd definitely want to be similar in looks or more attractive

rivetcitymayor · 2021-02-08T21:29:04+00:00

I wanted someone close enough to me in looks range that self-care and effort can bring us roughly equal. That's pretty much what I got. Idk about average men being able to get GORGEOUS women, but there are a lot of good women out there. Just see if both parties are interested. Be pursuing the women who interest you, and they will say yes if you can get her. I think people usually date near their own range. If you ONLY like Stacies, you're going to have a bad time. Don't delude yourself into thinking I could get into Chad's pants either. Trust me, that wasn't ever happening. Life is what it is. Sorry about you. I personally am so heterosexual that I liked a lot of available men, not just Chad. Porn will mess up your views, so maybe avoid that, too.

DandyDoge5 · 2021-02-09T03:05:00+00:00

Honestly why should people be judging the visual dynamic of two people. If two people with differing attractiveness wanna be together who am I to say whether one is the pretty one or the ugly one in the relationship. And if a woman or man really thinks that they should be the pretty or better looking one in the relationship, they should get their priorities checked.

2021-02-10T08:29:32+00:00

I feel like a lot of women just don’t know how attractive they are. Among my friends we all talk about rejecting very hot men or not taking them seriously because they take advantage of their looks and sleep around. I’ve never known a hot man to not be a player or cheater if he was married.

Men prettier than me, when I was still dating, were male models. I rejected them or smashed and trashed them. Not because I wasn‘t the pretty one, but because they were sluts or empty headed, or had annoying quirks.

Since I date in my age range, within a few years on either side, once I hit my 30s men just really started looking like old cheese to me so finding someone better looking wasn’t an issue I had to deal with.

Mimoxs · 2021-02-08T19:37:36+00:00

Yes, I would not date someone I felt was more attractive than me.

801735 · 2021-02-08T19:10:47+00:00

I’ve heard women can get insecure if they are dating someone who’s more conventionally attractive or beautiful than they are.

Not a question for me, but unless lesbian coupling is talked about, us, guys, we're not beautiful, we're handsome.

justaskinthequestion · 2021-02-08T19:15:12+00:00

This is an issue with overweight women. A lot of women don't want to date a man that is skinnier than them.

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WeAreMoreThanUs · 2021-02-08T19:52:48+00:00

I would rather be the uglier one. Less pressure.

extrachromozomes · 2021-02-08T19:59:59+00:00

I only date ugly guys, hot guys make me nervous

AngelWeyesDelRey · 2021-02-08T20:07:41+00:00

Yes.

MissJeje · 2021-02-08T20:28:27+00:00

As a woman that takes great pride in her appearance, I definitely prefer to be the ‘pretty’ one in the relationship.

nokidneys · 2021-02-08T20:59:15+00:00

i don’t necessarily have to be prettier then them, but i definitely think i choose guys with more unconventional features as a subconscious choice to even out the parts i think i lack. but i do only go for people whos features complement mine per se, i like being in a couple where it looks like we just “go together”.

wtknight · 2021-02-08T21:10:13+00:00

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wtknight · 2021-02-08T21:36:02+00:00

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aliyah_200018 · 2021-02-08T21:58:28+00:00

This is really bizarre. My boyfriend and I are both very conventionally attractive, both tall, fit, pretty, etc. I never get insecure about how attractive he is and vice versa.

However when i was single it was common for men to approach me only for me to be told my level of attractiveness is intimidating/im out of their league/i would never settle which funnily enough resulted in hurting my self esteem. i think its more prominent among men being intimidated by attractive women rather than the other way around.

wtknight · 2021-02-08T21:59:25+00:00

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thelajestic · 2021-02-08T23:21:22+00:00

Ehh. Maybe. My ex was definitely prettier than me and that didn't bother me so much as he was always so much better put together, always took loads of time on his appearance and hair etc so I always felt a bit scruffy 😅 whereas my current partner is hot but not done up so I feel like we're more stylistically matched.

LongETH · 2021-02-09T00:16:45+00:00

Interesting 🧐

Nation_of_Two · 2021-02-09T02:14:37+00:00

In every single LTR I have ever had, I was the "pretty one" by a long mile. Until the current SO who is the love of my life, and we are evenly matched. Most of the time women simply cannot find blindingly attractive men to date and go for a guy who makes her laugh.

athrowaway283222 · 2021-02-09T05:08:22+00:00

No, I don't care if he's compatible with me. A man who's that, and attractive would be a dream. It would hurt my self esteem if people were asking what he's doing with me, but I wouldn't really care if he loved me and didn't believe that way about me. I don't have to be the pretty one, because I wouldn't be with a man who I'm not attracted to. If he is less good looking than me but I'm attracted to him, and again, he has similar or compatible beliefs, morals, future plans, interests (or willing to support mine and vice versa), etc. + loves me, I'm fine.

Basically, I'd prefer good looking, but idc if he's more or less good looking than me, as long as he's attractive to me, suitable to me, and loves me; as far as outside opinions, I don't care what others say as long as he doesn't believe those things (if others said he was too good looking for me, OR that I was too pretty for him; none of that should matter, and if it does matter to him, I won't be in the relationship).

mountainofjoy · 2021-02-09T05:15:34+00:00

No no no no no!!! I have always wanted a HOTTIE don’t care if he’s hotter than me at all. I’m decently attractive so it’s not like I’ma hunchback woman looking for a male supermodel.

I’ve always thought my husband was way more attractive than me and I tell him this regularly. I think when I make an effort with my appearance and don’t do the hobo thing (that’s me on a regular basis) were pretty evenly matched attractiveness-wise, but I’ve never been insecure about if he’s more attractive than me or not.

87AudreyHorne · 2021-02-09T07:59:18+00:00

Its a must

Kizka · 2021-02-09T10:01:53+00:00

Never thought about it. I went after men I was attracted to, if they wanted to be with me that meant for me that they find me attractive in return. Never thought about "who is prettier?". Especially in a hetero relationship it's a moot point anyway. What I find attractive in a man I don't find attractive in a woman and vice versa.

iamsojellyofu · 2021-02-09T10:38:24+00:00

I like feeling pretty, so yes.

sunologie · 2021-02-09T11:39:21+00:00

Personally I don’t care but there aren’t many men more attractive to me.

rivetcitymayor · 2021-02-09T11:46:27+00:00

No offence but I find most men uglier than women. Generally the male face and phisique does not turn me on as much as women do. Women's bodies are beautiful and gentle in most cases while men are some sort straight line, whether they're fat or thin. I doubt I will be the pretty one since God did not give me much in breasts, ass or pretty face and my great intelligence is pretty useless since I lack emotional intelligence and only have empathy. I wouldn't reject a pretty guy but many people would wonder what he sees in me to like me. From mine perdpective some women really like attention more than others. Having a pretty guy near you may make you feel jealous or like he would cheat, at least this is the vibe I get from girls who have a boyfriend. I am not striving to look for a hot or a pretty guy since I know I won't get one. As long as my future boyfriend is not a toxic narcissist and does not hit me, gaslight me and insult me or stalk me or throw things at me, I would pretty much date him

SmokeFrosting · 2021-02-09T11:53:58+00:00

I think i do like being the more attractive one. I bet I use it as a fallback too. "at least i'm the more attractive one, so I could leave at any time etc. etc.". It's an interesting idea and i've never really thought about it.

lilbootiehugewaist · 2021-02-09T13:44:12+00:00

Right now I’m (29F) dating a 9/10 (30M) who I’ll admit is a bit better looking than me, and it’s heaven. Ladies if you haven’t tried it I’d recommend it. Screw insecurities, life is short and if you get the chance to date a gorgeous man then take it. Feeling your breath leave you every time he just leans against a wall or looks into your eyes is ridiculous and worth it.

Average guys get attractive women bc women are socialized to pursue personality and depth (security) and men are socialized to be shallow. That’s it. Break the mold, date up!

day00m · 2021-02-09T15:48:51+00:00

after i read this i realised that im doing this all the time, i think im dating someone who's "below" me because of my insecurities and then questioning myself why i cant get the handsome guys? wow what a shallow person i am

Lovemybighair · 2021-02-10T04:26:26+00:00

Absolutely. Looks are not that important for my partner. As long as he can clean up nice. But I believe for woman, being the pretty one gives you an advantage. If that wasn't the case men wouldn't spend all that money on a trophy that brings nothing to the table but looks. Personally I really love being loved but I also love to see a look of admiration and desire in my partners eyes when they look my way.

Superfluous_Toast · 2021-02-10T14:58:09+00:00

I honestly don't care one way or the other. Even if people do find us mismatched in some way, I've never met a single person rude enough to bring it up.

ariesv123 · 2021-02-10T23:05:51+00:00

Yes, that’s my answer. I want to be treated as the feminine counterpart and being pretty makes me feel feminine

canyoustopthat · 2021-02-12T03:57:21+00:00

I have no idea whether I’m considered by outsiders as the attractive one in my relationship or not (because my boyfriend thinks I am but I think he is), all I know is that I’m obsessed with looking at how pretty he is. Like will legit just stare at him sometimes and wonder how he’s mine.

Diamond-Breath · 2021-02-18T21:58:46+00:00

My boyfriend is very handsome and I regard myself pretty highly too. I think he’s perfect in a masculine sense and viceversa.

Link_Emotional · 2021-03-15T02:17:26+00:00

Yes!!!!!!! I have to be the pretty one if not I think they are a little to feminine for me.

profstarship · 2021-02-08T20:11:11+00:00

No i dont want to be the pretty one. And I appreciate a girl who does. This is why girls like "dad bods" cause they feel like their guy wont find another partner. This to me is the pinnacle of male privilege and I embrace and accept it gladly.

Title	Do you want to be the “ pretty “one in your relationships ?
Author	rivetcitymayor
Upvotes	167
Comments	310
Date	February 8, 2021 7:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/lfiz6l/do_you_want_to_be_the_pretty_one_in_your/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-want-to-be-the-pretty-one-in-your.740373 https://theredarchive.com/post/740373