Do you women go through similar struggles like men go through?

KikiYuyu · 2022-09-22T20:01:40+00:00

I don't get rejected because I simply do not even try. It feels hopeless so I don't bother.

I fear all the time that I will die alone. I'm 30 and I've never even been kissed.

The guy I had a crush on (who I thought I was at least friends) with forgot my name while introducing me to his girlfriend.

I get jealous, but not over romantic things, mostly over talent and achievements.

Katelyn89 · 2022-09-22T17:59:04+00:00

I think a lot of men romanticize the female experience to an insanely unhealthy degree, and think most women are experiencing what the top .5% of gorgeous, skinny, beautiful, popular, wealthy women are experiencing because that's what they see on social media. Regular, normal, or even unattractive women are just people: we pay bills, go on crappy dates, get ghosted, feel like an imposter in the workplace, have crushes on guys who don't know we exist... like, that's just life stuff.

Being a woman isn't all flowers and endless dating options and rainbows and kittens.

_revelationary · 2022-09-22T18:42:59+00:00

I met my husband when I was in college, but early on in college I experienced those things. I had some HUGE crushes that were unrequited — one guy was a friend and I told him, but he was pursuing a different girl. I was cheated on by the next guy I dated, so yes, jealousy came up.

I noticed that the times I was more hyper-focused on dating and finding a relationship, the less happy I was. When I was focusing more on my classes, my friends, other goals, I ended up not feeling so desperate. And I really just lucked out in starting to date the guy I ultimately married when I was just 20 years old…I’m sure if I was single longer it would’ve been harder for me, because I’m someone who always wanted to get married and be a mom.

Yeah, I think men have it harder than women in certain ways. But I think some of their experiences are universal and women go through this stuff too.

learn2earn89 · 2022-09-22T18:04:50+00:00

Yes dude. My family worries about me sometimes due to all of that.

tinasnow-poty · 2022-09-22T19:40:52+00:00

Of course we do. On online dating guys stop replying mid convo, make lukewarm plans, flake often. I’ve had many crushes that didn’t materialise. I feel inferior to lots of girls my age who already have grad jobs and know what they want to do when I don’t. I have existential dread for lunch. The girls on tiktok have such perfect bodies, I use the app for gym fuel. You’ve just got to rise above it. Focus on what you do that makes you feel good. I’m the same age as you, there’s hope for the future yet

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-22T17:48:53+00:00

Yes to all. They're normal human experiences. Women aren't immune to, like, life.

wintergreen233 · 2022-09-22T17:41:38+00:00

Absolutely. I spent my entire teens and 20s struggling with literally all of those things. Rejection, fear of it, guys who I was interested in not liking me back, feeling totally inferior to other women, feeling like I must just be hideous and unlovable. Literally every thing you mentioned, yeah I went through it, hard.

I am happy to say it got much better after that, though.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-09-22T17:41:53+00:00

Yes, all those things can happen to women. It can be especially bad if the rejection is happening within a relationship (cheating, withdrawing, etc). Nobody’s life is perfect and without struggles.

dottywine · 2022-09-22T19:30:00+00:00

We fear rejection, we do get rejected but we are not attempting as often as boys are, definitely women fear never finding true romance - that’s a big one. Yes, women get friendzoned, made to feel inferior to other women…

I mean everything you’re describing is just part of being a human being. Also the smarter you are, the more you struggle with these things and I saw a study that says it hits smart women even harder.

I don’t know how young guys don’t see women as humans. I don’t get it. Even if you’re prawn addicted or see women in general as the object of your desire, surely you can comprehend we are human beings…

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-22T21:00:51+00:00

I think we have similar challenges, but additional ones too....

For example, I don't think men understand just how Judged, endlessly endlessly Judged, women are. And in a way that women simply can't "win".

Not a virgin on your wedding day - slut. Wont put out on a first date - prude and using a man to get your dinner paid for

Not married and no kids after 25 - washed up old hag. Marriage and kids before youre 25 - irresponsible young mother

Not wearing make up - you've let yourself go. Wearing make up - slut

Got a good job - man hating & career obsessed. Not got a good job - gold digging bum

Whatever you do, youre screwed

ruboyuri · 2022-09-22T21:39:54+00:00

No, women have no struggles. It’s all easy, we make no effort, are never dissatisfied. La, la, la, piles of money show up, there’s never any physical risk, people bow down to us as we walk by, etc

risdeveau · 2022-09-22T17:30:47+00:00

Guess you don’t realize that Wimmin B Human

greedyleopard42 · 2022-09-22T21:03:18+00:00

not so much dating hardships anymore because i’m in a long term relationship, but i used to a LOT. for the longest time i wasnt a girl that guys were interested in. i got rejected plenty for sure.

not much insecurity in the intellect department, but i suspect if i didn’t get ridiculous praise from teachers when i was young i would have. if i wasn’t seen as a prodigy, i bet i would have felt insanely insecure- most people i know are insecure about their intelligence at least to a degree. it’s a very human experience, and sometimes i wish my head wasn’t blown up so much in that aspect because i really don’t think i always see myself in the right light. i guess that’s it’s own insecurity

17milestoempty · 2022-09-22T17:51:37+00:00

I’ve never been rejected, but I also don’t approach men & have never had a crush on a man who didn’t already express interest in me. I have a very reactionary dating style.

I’m a very competitive woman and do often feel inferior to other women who are smarter, more experienced, or more skilled in certain areas. I’m a lot more dominant around men/male clients than I am around powerful female peers.

I experience jealousy, but not often. More envy, I guess.

greedyleopard42 · 2022-09-22T21:10:30+00:00

op you seem like a nice person who genuinely wants to learn. what are you doing on this sub lmaoo

ffandyy · 2022-09-22T20:05:38+00:00

Of course they do

localmicrodosechamp · 2022-09-22T21:33:51+00:00

i am pretty sure i will never have a good relationship with men because so few men are wholesome that i am sure they have their pick of women and i'm not a top woman nor do i want to spend my life trying to get/stay on top. I don't think any of my exes would say a guy wouldn't be lucky to be with me because I do try really hard in relationships and have some solid things to offer outside of that, but it's a numbers thing.

to be clear by wholesome i mean he doesn't watch porn and is interested in being his authentic self and pursuing a loving longterm partnership with me where we build a life together.

Bekiala · 2022-09-22T20:22:46+00:00

I think women struggle as much as men but they struggle in such a hugely Hugely HUGELY different way than men. This difference is why it is so difficult for men and women to understand each other.

The struggles you list are what men struggle with. Women struggle with different issues.

BasicallyYogurt · 2022-09-22T17:59:58+00:00

Yes, but not in the area of dating. If a young woman has dating issues in the current era, they must be either terribly ugly or extremely unpleasant to be around.

bunnakay · 2022-09-22T17:35:46+00:00

Of course... they just rarely have to do with dating.

darkvalleys · 2022-09-22T20:57:37+00:00

Yes, but all you care about is that we can get sex any time we want

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Stop_Maximum · 2022-09-22T18:46:27+00:00

Some women and men can go through the same thing. I’ve never dated during high school. I didn’t start dating until when I was 21. I am 23 now. I got reject even without opening up to some people (in my teens). I got rejected even when I opened up to people. I didn’t get many rejections but I didn’t like many people in my life (probably 5/6 since high school). What I’ve realised is that I didn’t mind being rejected, like at all. I think when I like someone, it’s not really about wanting to be in a relationship, but more of wanting to get it off my chest. So no I don’t fear rejection. I don’t fear not finding romance, I am actually aspiring to enjoy it although I want to travel more 😭. Never been friendzone apart from this one time, but I didn’t like the guy. He thought I did maybe, although it was weird cause we were not close like that.

I started dating when I was 21, and in that same year I decided it wasn’t for me. Would love to know if anyone can beat that record 🤣

Never felt inferior to smart women, but I’ve been called one eh eh. I think it’s not right to be jealous about others, you should always be happy so that when it’s your turn it comes back 10x more. I am glad to see people being happy.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2022-09-22T18:56:22+00:00

I don’t know about all women but me no

I have had different struggles

EmeraldsFaure · 2022-09-22T20:23:39+00:00

My struggle is having attraction for a certain niche of guys. I have a paradoxical personality, it’s difficult to find a man who shares similar personality traits. As a result, I tend to go for men whose personality traits are only partially compatible with my own.

My last relationship was with a highly intelligent, witty guy. We matched and connected on an intellectual level, but not on other qualities. I function on almost equal parts logic/ rationality and sensitivity/ feelings. Being in love with someone who lacked sensitivity to feelings was emotionally draining for me. On occasions where tenderness or vulnerability on his part shone through, he would quickly default to his emotionally detached self.

That’s been my struggle, being attracted to men who are successful, intelligent yet emotionally detached. I in turn seem to also attract this type of men. Philosophically I have good insights on relationships in general, but have been unsuccessful in applying said insights to my own relationships.

Weshnon · 2022-09-22T20:41:46+00:00

No, I don't endure this at all since I left my teens. Late teens onwards offered much more potent existential dread than "who is smarter than me", 'he doesn't wanna date me whyyyy', or "I'm jealous of this cunt who gets all the chads".

baiser_vole · 2022-09-22T21:50:45+00:00

My experience as a reasonably attractive relationship oriented woman I think has some similarities with beta bux' concerns. The difference is that I was mostly given my looks and my reproductive organs, and beta bux worked to achieve financial success. Yes, the effort required was different, but the concerns are not too different imo. We both desire to be respected and loved for who we are.

I have a somewhat extreme personality and is usually hit or miss with people. I would say that it is more often than not a miss. Anyway, there are so many guys who approached me with romantic interest only because of my looks while wanting me to be someone else. Does he actually love me if he wants me to someone else and constantly tries to change me into someone I'm not? No, he is only in love with the way I look, and even if he doesn't necessarily try to change me, he still isn't in love with who I am inside. The Beta Bux concern is somewhat similar in a way, because BB are concerned they would only be appreciated for the money they have.

I think being an attractive woman is still better though. I'm sure I have gotten rejected for my personality, and there were guys who took no interest in me due to my personality. I don't fear rejection anymore though. I do get a bit stressed out about never finding the right person (I have even been told to maybe move by multiple people due to my beliefs). But yeah. I am not in the worst position at all, no I don't think that. I have it fairly good, but I still have the concerns I do.

IceMysterious4265 · 2022-09-23T02:29:16+00:00

Not really

erunzzz · 2022-09-23T02:58:38+00:00

Yes for sure, I’m in college and I’m worried that I’m never going to meet anyone. I hear everyone saying that women have it “so easy”, but as a woman myself, that is so false. I’ve never been hit on or asked out, I’ve received virtually zero male attention throughout my life. I’m about average looking but guys simply aren’t interested in me. I’m worried that I’ll never find a husband who loves me and is attracted to me. I have one ex boyfriend who left me because of my looks, and guys called me ugly behind my back in high school. Women don’t have it easy unless they are in the top 5-10% or so. My closest friend has been rejected by many guys and my other close friends have never been in relationships. It’s not as easy for women as society makes it seem.

Rhubarb_Fair · 2022-09-23T21:30:23+00:00

Think about what men go through, then add this:

https://youtu.be/fZPabO7fY-U

I cant say it any better

jjema · 2022-09-24T04:49:59+00:00

Im a woman and have never experienced these fears and realize that im quite privledged in that aspect.

With the exception of jealousy. I definitely get jealous. Working on that one.

Ok_Brilliant_4935 · 2022-09-24T19:57:50+00:00

24 virgin kissless female here. Yes i feel this way often. I'm a little chubby and not very physically attractive . The few men who showed interest in me were only interested for sex , which made my self esteem worse. And no i have never chased after top 10 % men. And this point in have become too cynical and want to remain celibate forever.

lalelu2727 · 2022-09-26T13:48:11+00:00

I can only speak for myself: yes I do get rejected quite often bc I actually only do OD and that doesn’t really go well. Yes I am often worrying about never finding someone who will love me and I am at a point where I see myself as unlovable and questioning what is wrong with me. I have a very low selfworth and there is a lot of days where I hate myself deeply. The thing just is that I know that’s my problem, it’s no one else’s fault and I have to work on myself bc no one and no relationship will safe me. And why do you even think men and women are so different? Women are humans, we have emotions too, we are insecure, doubting, questioning ourselves, asking ourselves big existential questions. Why in gods hell is that even difficult for you to imagine?

Annual_Werewolf_5448 · 2022-10-08T23:10:54+00:00

Yea of course. I’m short, chubby, have brown skin and my face is weird looking. When I go to college I’m surrounded by all these girls who look 100 times better than me with flat stomachs and pretty faces, ofc I get insecure. I don’t even try to go after guys cuz ik they wouldn’t find me attractive 😂 plus my personality just sucks in general. I’ve been friendzoned many times too.

Title	Do you women go through similar struggles like men go through?
Author	roseonyxa
Upvotes	31
Comments	221
Date	September 22, 2022 5:21 PM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	/r/PurplePillDebate
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-you-women-go-through-similar-struggles-like-men.1132080 https://theredarchive.com/post/1132080
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xl7gpp/do_you_women_go_through_similar_struggles_like/