Seems to detail the unequal distribution of sex amongst men and the fact that women are having sex and relationships with a smaller fraction of men while creep-shaming the betas.
TO UNDERLINE HIS theory that sexuality is a construct of human discourse, the philosopher Michel Foucault noted that people talk about sex a lot. “We convince ourselves that we have never said enough on the subject,” he wrote in his (four-volume) “The History of Sexuality”. “It is possible that where sex is concerned, the most long-winded, the most impatient of societies is our own.” After a three-hour discussion of sex and dating with 30 students at Northwestern University, on the rainy shore of Lake Michigan, your columnist felt he knew why. Few fields of human behaviour—and none more important—are so hard to explain.
Lexington’s visit was spurred by the latest evidence that young people in America—as in Japan and some other rich countries—are having much less sex. The portion of Americans aged 18 to 29 who claim to have had no sex for 12 months has more than doubled in a decade—to 23% last year. That is, counter-intuitively, despite the removal of many impediments to sex. Young Americans are less religious and more relaxed about sexual orientation than they have ever been. They are also readier to experiment, in part owing to the deluge of free porn they receive on smartphones. “You have access to the entire body of porn in your rucksacks!” marvelled Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist who runs Northwestern’s renowned “Marriage 101” course, in a subsequent lecture.
Her comment elicited hardly any amusement. Indeed, the most striking thing about the students to Lexington—in effect, a visitor from the 1990s—was how frank and unembarrassable they seemed. They were, despite their shared interest in studying sex at an elite university, a diverse crowd: straight and gay, black and white, outgoing and reserved. About half were from religious families; a couple from migrant ones. Yet all seemed willing to discuss their sexual likes, dislikes and anxieties, including use of porn, body shyness, and the possible role of both in fuelling a millennial obsession with pubic grooming. To the extent that they represented their generation, diffidence about sex is not the problem.
The biggest reasons for the “sex recession” are probably straightforward. Married couples have more sex than singletons and Americans are marrying later. Economic duress is another dampener: it is no coincidence that the slowdown in young Americans’ sex lives began during the great recession. Partly as a result of it, many of them still live with their parents. And the low esteem that poor prospects engender, as the experience of many Japanese tragically attests, can also cause mass celibacy.
The recent vigour of America’s economy might make this seem less relevant—especially among high-achievers like the Northwestern students. Yet it was striking how many mentioned the 2008 recession, including their memories of the distress it caused their parents, as a reason to prioritise their careers, even to the extent of forgoing romance entirely. “We’re not looking to get married any more, so what are we doing?” asked one woman.
But that still does not seem to explain the persistence of America’s sex recession, or its most extreme feature: how concentrated it is among men. Since 2008 there has been almost a threefold rise in the share of men under the age of 30 who claim to be having no sex. At the same time, the portion of sexless women increased by only 8%. A range of possible explanations for the disparity has been suggested, and the students seemed to corroborate several of them. Many felt men’s social skills had been especially eroded by over-reliance on technology. Overindulgence in porn meanwhile offered them an escape route from reality. Yet the most compelling answer, because it contains elements of all that and more, may be signalled by young people’s increasing reluctance to date.
This is often blamed on the “hook-up culture” of college campuses. Yet casual sex and dating coexisted in the 1990s. It is also easy to exaggerate—now as then—how many people are hooking up. Half the Northwestern students said they rarely or never did. Yet they also rattled off reasons not to date which, among the men, who would traditionally take the lead in such encounters, included uncertainty about how they were even managed. Many considered the prospect of chatting someone up in a bar not merely daunting but possibly offensive. “Revealing that your intention in talking to someone is sexual? That’s hairy,” shuddered one man.
The problem seems to be a profound anxiety about what the other party to a potential coupling might want and expect. The heavy stress that all the students laid on the importance of mutually agreeing the basis of any relationship, at every stage of its development, is probably both a cause and effect of this. Dating apps, which around half the students had used, can mitigate it at best. It is likely a response to increased female empowerment, the major change in sexual politics, and therefore further exacerbated by men’s dread of a #MeToo-style harassment charge. In short, young American men with rather poor interpersonal skills currently face a historically confusing mating-game, even as they worry a lot about their careers. No wonder many are opting to stick to their video games.
This is painful. But it does at least suggest that sexual relations are not so much hitting the skids in America as in flux. The forces that govern sexual behaviour are dynamic. Who could have predicted a little over a decade ago, when George W. Bush was splurging on abstinence schemes, that America would soon see a spike in celibacy fuelled by economics, technology, female empowerment and perhaps even casual sex? And that cocktail of circumstances will not last. The economy is strong. The currents in popular culture will shift. And once young Americans become more used to their more equal gender relations, they might re-embrace the degree of ambiguity and risk that romance entails. That is the hope, at least. Meanwhile, they might try putting down their phones, talking face to face a bit more, and even flirting.
[–]darkmoon09104 points105 points106 points (270 children) | Copy Link
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[–]passepar2t13 points14 points15 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]passepar2t8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers23 points24 points25 points (38 children) | Copy Link
[–]binkerfluid8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]blackkindergods7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (30 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers2 points3 points4 points (29 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (26 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers10 points11 points12 points (25 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (22 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers8 points9 points10 points (21 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (14 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers8 points9 points10 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]alilabelle 1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]mylittlemagic2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]mylittlemagic2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]alilabelle 1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]blackkindergods1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackkindergods0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Futureman999 1 points [recovered] (15 children) | Copy Link
[–]NockerJoeKing Hater14 points15 points16 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]we-are-men-with-ven6 points7 points8 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]Futureman999 1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]we-are-men-with-ven2 points3 points4 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Futureman999 1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]we-are-men-with-ven0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ffbtawPurple Pill Man0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]we-are-men-with-ven0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Ithinkthatsthepoint0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]we-are-men-with-ven0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian2 points3 points4 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]DXBrigade0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]kandyapplezincel larping as a thot0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DREADC0RSAIRNo Pill | Just Dead Inside7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xeroedouttwice4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]KazROFL14 points15 points16 points (35 children) | Copy Link
[–]NockerJoeKing Hater22 points23 points24 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]oneprettycoolcat0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]80_20SCIENCE / non-incel incel advocate / NO PILL17 points18 points19 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BothWaysItGoesLibertarian13 points14 points15 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zippo-Cat17 points18 points19 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]NockerJoeKing Hater3 points4 points5 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Futureman999 1 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Ziczor 1 points [recovered] (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]BothWaysItGoesLibertarian15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Kujab2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zippo-Cat3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]The3liGator7 points8 points9 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]The3liGator12 points13 points14 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 14 points15 points16 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]amendment641 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]allweknowisD7 points8 points9 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]The3liGator5 points6 points7 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]allweknowisD2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]The3liGator0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]crackrocksteady7buying gf1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AndemanMan0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]MGTOWKapow2Don't fuckin touch me16 points17 points18 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]jonascf4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Jasontheperson2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Jasontheperson0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mydikishomofobik9 points10 points11 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mydikishomofobik5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackkindergods3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]five_eight4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSuperStink 1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]passepar2t6 points7 points8 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]darkmoon0913 points14 points15 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NockerJoeKing Hater8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rus9384Misanthrope7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ScootsScoots 1 points [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 13 points14 points15 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]atlantic68Purple Shill0 points1 point2 points (15 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]atlantic68Purple Shill0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]angels_fan_rp2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]atlantic68Purple Shill0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]crackrocksteady7buying gf1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]prostate-apostatespectacle beta0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]boomcheese440 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]boomcheese440 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]boomcheese440 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]boomcheese440 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_KoopamanSexually Identifies as a Potato15 points16 points17 points (27 children) | Copy Link
[–]allweknowisD17 points18 points19 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 16 points17 points18 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]atlantic68Purple Shill4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]toysjoeMGTOW11 points12 points13 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Sir_KoopamanSexually Identifies as a Potato7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]atlantic68Purple Shill2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]firewatchersdaughter1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zippo-Cat5 points6 points7 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Nobodykers5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]blackkindergods0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]atlantic68Purple Shill3 points4 points5 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]BirdManBrrrr3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]moroots2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 12 points13 points14 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]cattermelon34ADHD medication is a feminist conspiracy9 points10 points11 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]jackandjill22Red Pill misanthropic, contrarian6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]the_calibre_cat2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RhoubbheIt all ends in fire0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zippo-Cat5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Shadow_Of_Chad-Lite2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]analt223No Pill4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]matrixpush1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]Braziliancel 1 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cxj75% Redpill Core Ideas1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]angels_fan_rp5 points6 points7 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]NockerJoeKing Hater0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cattermelon34ADHD medication is a feminist conspiracy3 points4 points5 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]binkerfluid5 points6 points7 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]boomcheese444 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheSuperStink 1 points [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete1 point2 points3 points (33 children) | Copy Link
[–]Zippo-Cat2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]analt223No Pill2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RoyalAugur924 points5 points6 points (29 children) | Copy Link
[–]J_Milton_JrDon't open 'til doomsday...♥7 points8 points9 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]RoyalAugur926 points7 points8 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]J_Milton_JrDon't open 'til doomsday...♥5 points6 points7 points (8 children) | Copy Link
[–]OfSpock2 points3 points4 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]J_Milton_JrDon't open 'til doomsday...♥1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RoyalAugur920 points1 point2 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]Plopolok4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]yocrappacrappa0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NockerJoeKing Hater8 points9 points10 points (12 children) | Copy Link
[–]says_harsh_thingsRed Pill - Chad4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Million-SunsMarriage is obsolete0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]RoyalAugur920 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]EsauTheRed0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HereWeGoAgainTJ1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]AutoModeratorMarried to Littleknownfacts[M] 0 points1 point2 points (47 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 5 points6 points7 points (11 children) | Copy Link
[–]geyges🐇4 points5 points6 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]geyges🐇0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]geyges🐇0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]crackrocksteady7buying gf1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jax006Wants to bang ~20% of PPD chicks0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RhoubbheIt all ends in fire0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Willow-girlProud 2 B an American farmer0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SkookumTreeRomantic relationships aren't necessary for happiness!0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]er5105oke0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mayth3n0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirNemesismary cucked joseph[S] 0 points1 point2 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]mayth3n0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]SirNemesismary cucked joseph[S] 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]mayth3n0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LillthOfBabylon0 points1 point2 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]czerdec5 points6 points7 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]binkerfluid1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link