For this OP let’s assume NAWALT and NAMALT. I don’t feel like qualifying every sentence. Every time I say “women” or “men” just assume I mean “many women/men” or “enough women/men have that’s led to a notable trend or pattern.”
Most people won’t deny the following:
Women have a responsive sexuality. Their libidos aren’t constant. Sex isn’t always or mostly isn’t on her mind. Thus she’s not immediately moved into a lusty state.
Being the penetrated individual is a more physically vulnerable state, and thus being penetrated when not horny is just plain weird feeling. Being licked and slobbered and pumped and felt up when you aren’t in a sexy or lusty state is quite unsettling. Trying to force enthusiasm about the sex when you aren’t horny is harder than rocket science.
All the same, many women engage maintenance or duty sex to keep the relationship strong.
Problem is the more sex like the above she has, the more she associates bad feelings with sex. A negative feedback loop regarding sex. She never gets a chance to experience craving sex. And sex you crave is the sex that’s delicious.
Ladies who have experienced this, what do you do to keep yourself in the mood mentally on a regular basis?
Men, what have you done to ensure she stays not just receptive to sex, but that the sex she does have is sex where’s she’s also turned on?
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For me, and the women I’ve been with it’s always been the mental game that’s important. The build up and looking for areas of opportunities. Don’t try if she’s moody or going through some things. That will set you back light years.
Do make compliments/tease and drop subtle hints when she’s goofy and in a good mood. Build up the tension. Physical contact, subtle or overt. Don’t be afraid to just grab her every once in a while and just kiss her passionately and take her breath away. Walk away and say I just really wanted to do that, because well, you should really want to kiss your woman. Get her feeling all nice and desired. Actually desire her, not just want to fuck her. I mean you can do both, variety is best. But she will sense if all you want to do is just get off. Def don’t do that unless you want to drive her away.
Also, get really good at oral. Like really good to the point where she’s coming to you to ask for it with a sly little grin.
Having your own life together and handling your shit helps too. If you’re a mess she’s gonna look at you like a little boy.
🤷🏻♂️. That’s always been my formula and I’ve always had a ton of sex with my girlfriends. Just keep it random and spontaneous and be fearless. Rejection will always be a part of the game.
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I am super attractive and still go through all of that. You’re actually not going through anything if you’re dating someone who you actually like.
You’re beyond clueless if you think super attractive people just sit there and women throw their vaginas at them for life. And I mean BEYOND clueless. Especially in a relationship where actual feelings are involved.
[–]AtaCome7821"Miraculous! Simply the best!" 1 point2 points3 points (6 children) | Copy Link
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I was speaking within the context of relationships. One was 2 years and the other was 6 years. Both with very active sex lives. I’ve had a few around the 6 month mark which were the same. All others were faster and more about the sex and in that regard were definitely about looks. I got used by women in a decent amount of those
Not a single person is good looking enough to have someone attracted to them nonstop after 6 months to a year when you really get to know them. Even Brad Pitt will face issues after then with the most random of women.
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That’s fantastic and completely irrelevant. You’re talking about something completely different. I’m talking about sex within a long term relationship. Not sampling the pot. I’m happy you’d rather fuck everyone. Good for you. The OP was about maintaining good sex within a LTR.
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K.
Also love how you say you don’t believe I’m very attractive and then end it with saying my descriptive ideas don’t happen unless you’re very attractive. Which one is it?
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Where did you get the idea that she’s throwing active dread at me? Like what? Lol
I enjoy life. I do those things willingly because I’m a happy person. I’m not a miserable fuck. I don’t do them intentionally just to get laid. It comes naturally. I actually like the women I date.
See, you guys try and be something you’re not and then wonder why it backfires. Stop being fake. It’s unsustainable. Half of you try to be hard asses and you’re just not. 98% of you aren’t Alpha. You just convince yourself you are and put up a front. Sorry.
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There is one more issue. Let us say as a man you wait for her to initiate sex... at some point wouldn't she wonder why her man doesn't initiate sex anymore, in the sense "do I not turn him on anymore"? How would one counter this "problem" ?
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I’ve had sex with my gf when I wasn’t in the mood. What is so damn hard about getting pleasure from giving your partner pleasure? I just don’t like the idea of neglecting my partner’s needs. Keep in mind I’m not holding anyone to expectation that I don’t hold myself to
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Pleasurable because like I say, I take pleasure from giving my partner pleasure. You assume there is even penetration, that's not always the case. That's what hands, mouth, and toys are for.
Women need to start thinking about their partners more and if they're not in the mood, get themselves in the mood instead of expecting their partner to always be responsible, especially if their partner is being regularly rejected and neglected. That constant rejection of a partner from not being in the mood does long term damage to relationships.
[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)"[S] 1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]nothatyoucare2 points [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Then get therapy if you feel some type of way that someone sexually desires you on a regular basis. I never felt off-put my partner sexually desired me.
Either way, this is why Lesbian bed death is a thing where as gay men used to have the handkerchief code, grindr, and sex clubs.
[–]GridReXX"Big Bully (ಠ_ಠ)"[S] 1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Iron-Giant169 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Apprehensive_Boat_70 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BrodieDharma -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xFallacyx69 -1 points0 points1 point (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]maximumtwist33 0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]xFallacyx69 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link