Since the manosphere is full of emotionally retarded spergies, it is my responsibility as a stable and compassionate genius to help them navigate the terrifying world of modern dating. Below some examples of shit tests brought to you by the bible of closeted homosexuals and betabucks aspiring Alphas, Chateau Heartiste, and how to interpret them:

“Are you a player?”

Translation: "Should I worry about STDs?"

“How may girls have you been with?”

Translation: "You look like I need to get myself checked after the first round."

“I don’t like you”

Translation: "No, I fucking don't."

“You’re not the jealous type, are you?”

Translation: "You look like a wife beater stalker."

“That [X] you’re wearing is ridiculous!”

Translation: "Dude, you look gay."

“Are you gay?”

Translation: "For real, dude, you look like a faggot."

“Give me your number instead.”

Translation: "I don't want you to call me, do you understand?"

“I don’t give out my number.”

Translation: "I already told you I don't want your calls, now fuck off!"

“Does this work on other girls?”

Translation: "Your pick-up strategy is lame. Now fuck off."

“Stop staring at me.”

Translation: "Fuck off, creepo!"

“I have a boyfriend.”

Translation: "Fuck off."

“You’re not my type.”

Translation: "Fuck off."

This post might be difficult to understand, but I'll do my best to explain to you like you're five as many times as you need it because I'm very compassionate and sympathize with your struggles.