For the Redpillers who learned the hard way to watch what women do, not what they say- what was your story of learning the hard way?

sdwdqw65 · 2021-06-06T23:35:21+00:00

For me there was no single event or single story (although there was one in particular that was the most impactful), it was an accumulation of years of experiencing life. When I was a teenager and early 20s I had a thriving social life with a lot of friends and plenty of girl friends too, I dated, partied, hooked up here and there (but def not a chad).

I consistently noticed that my much more morally questionable friends (by morally questionable I mean my friends who did hard drugs, got in trouble with the law, got into stupid fights and drama, crashed cars, would outright demean/put down women “bitches” slut shaming, etc) not only got more attention from women, but the intensity of that attention was stronger too. The women were quicker, more likely, less hesitant to start having sex with those kinds of guys too. Even down to the way in which they looked at them had this more lustful stare, more grabby/physical towards them too compared to my more decent friends with girls.

I even went through a phase in high school where I completely changed my whole persona to attract girls and I pretty much acted like a loud mouthed arrogant stoner dude bro who disrespected women and while I still wasn’t like a chad (had many friends who were willing to act way worse than me and they got more girls) I was far more successful at attracting girls than before. Also like I said, not only did I get more frequent interest but the intensity of the signals of interest were stronger as well (girls were more flirty, sexual, more direct, more willing to go out of there way and hang out/do things for me).

Of course I’m not going to sit here and say this is the only thing I saw. That’s not true, sometimes I would see the decent guys get a girlfriend and beat the bad guys in winning the affection of a woman. In fact this happened to me with a situation between me, my best friend, and a mutual lady friend of ours. In this scenario I was the “bad boy” (cringe to say but you get my point) and my friend was the decent guy. She first picked me and we were FWB for a few months and she started to consider us being in a relationship which I wanted, however she unbeknownst to me was getting closer with my friend and eventually she decided to date/get into a relationship with him instead of me.

But the reason why this story stands out is because of how unordinary it was. It was a counter example to what I typically observed and it took me by surprise when she decided to date him instead of me. This I must say is why I’m unimpressed when I hear people say something along the lines of “Guys just think any guy who gets girls they can’t is a douchebag.” Not remotely true.

The event that most impacted me was when I got into a relationship with a girl I was head over heels for. We had been friends for almost 2 years before we started dating so I felt very fondly of her, very strong romantic and sexual feelings. While we were friends she had told me that she had been raped by her ex boyfriend before (who was a drug dealing high school drop out, and now I’m sure you see where this is going...). Well to cut to the chase we eventually got into a relationship, it lasted 6 months before she dumped me to get back with the ex who raped her. This fucked up my self esteem for a long time that still affects me today and it was also the beginning of my depression and distancing myself from friends/socializing.

The point I’m trying to make is that it wasn’t any single event that made me think that. It was observing the behavior of women over and over and over again for years despite hearing the opposite from women and the larger society, it just felt like outright lying and gaslighting/trust what you hear not what you’ve seen over and over and over again thing.

I must say though before someone else says it, no my douchebag friends were not even the best looking either. I had tall athletic friends who were good men but struggled to get girls interested. My douchebag friends who didn’t look as good/were not tall didn’t have that problem.

sootlord · 2021-06-06T23:19:23+00:00

My ExGF of 4 years cheated on me with a co worker. I caught her, confronted her, and tried to work it out. Even though she still was saying to me "I love you" and sending me cute messages on texts. When we were together she was distant, emotionally charged, and bitchy. Eventually she cheated on me with another coworker.

hobomojo · 2021-06-07T03:20:19+00:00

Idk if I’d consider myself redpiller, but I did have a pretty eye opening experience with how women behave when they don’t think there are any straight guys around to listen. A friend of mine was visiting town with a group (5 people) of his friends and we all stayed at an air BnB for the weekend. My friend and the only other guy in the group are both gay, I am not however. I didn’t try to flirt with anyone in the group, so they must have assumed I was also gay. So when the girls in the group were chatting at one point over that weekend I heard a lot of talk about their past partners that I have never really heard before (like comparing sizes of guy’s/boyfriend’s packages). It was definitely a bit of an interesting experience for me to basically be a fly on the wall for this kind of locker room talk. It makes me chuckle now whenever I hear of people clutching their pearls at guys talking about women, since I now know women do the same thing.

Hoopy223 · 2021-06-07T00:20:37+00:00

Oh hell I got a few

6th grade dance when this girl made a big deal out of dancing with me (asked me to be her date at the school dance) and it turned out to be a prank. She pretended not to know me and danced with all the other guys lmao.

During High School there was a girl I was friends with who dropped me like a hot rock after all the other girls made fun of her for hanging with the “ugliest guy in school”. Then she had sex with a douchebag in some bushes behind auto shop and got pregnant.

Before/During/after College I became a drug addict. Girls were nice to me and dating was no problem whatsoever. Probably half were the “good girls” who had good jobs/nurses/paralegals nice families like I always wanted to date. Some were stripper types they were really sweet but not too smart. Once I got clean I became boring and undateable.

Then I met my ex and fell for everything she said because I’m dumb like that.

Oh my ex was a giant red pill too. Hot, rich family, 29, never married no kids. Talked about how much she wanted to be a mom, how she grew up on a ranch and loved Southern Values/Charm etc. Posted pics on IG holding a puppy in front of a mercedes and got 1000 likes. All her ex boyfriends were jerks or weirdos or stalkers. Tons of red flags but at the time I couldn’t see them because I was lonely and she treated me well at first.

Later on she went psycho like that Amber Heard type stuff. Then when we split up she got back with another ex, had a fight with him and took his dog (the one she always had IG selfies with) to the pound.

truthteller8 · 2021-06-06T22:24:26+00:00

Not a redpiller, but simply hearing what women say they like/desire in a sexual partner versus seeing their eventual partners.

I'll say their men didn't match their words very well, to put it kindly.

Reminds me of a meme I saw recently: "my baby daddy ain't worth shit, but I still allowed him to cum in me raw."

AloneOnTheStrange · 2021-06-07T05:36:47+00:00

Got my life nearly ruined by a crazy bitch. Started getting back on my feet, but realised how hard it was even with relationship experience under my belt.

When I discovered the red pill I started consciously paying attention to the guys girls were actually attracted to. I realised how shallow it all is.

What really got me is how important height is. Plain or even ugly guys were called hot if they're above 6'2.

I realised that calling a guy "fun" or "interesting" is really just a code word for rich and popular. Hobbies only matter if they're expensive. Skills only matter if they make money. Clothes only look as good as they cost.

As I got attractive I started noticing annoying dynamics: Girls totally into me, then forgetting I exist once a more attractive guy enters the room. Little unattrative things about me turning women off like a light switch. Girls keeping me around as plan B, until they score plan A.

The whole experience has left me pretty jaded to say the least.

DetectivePure503 · 2021-06-06T23:04:26+00:00

Being called cute by a single woman has become such a backhanded compliment.

Cute=comfortably unattractive. That means she respects you on a neutral level as a human being, but could never find you sexually attractive. The idea of dating you is laughable and smiled at, it’s cute.

UnwantedFreakShow · 2021-06-07T04:54:49+00:00

It was dark, warm, and humid. There was immense pressure on my cranium, and I writhed against suffocating claustrophobia for hours. Alas, rays of light penetrated my buried existence as I burst through the birth canal, suffering permanent brain damage from the tight squeeze.

That was the first time I ever felt pushed away by a woman and suffered psychological damage from it.

welcometothejl · 2021-06-07T12:01:27+00:00

My ex wife who received a $45,000 divorce settlement, alimony, and child support despite the fact that we share equal time with our daughters, told me, "I want to show the girls I can do it on my own."

PepeThe1AndOnlyPepe · 2021-06-07T00:10:33+00:00

First girlfriend in high school wanted flowers and respect from me in a relationship.

Played the role of the classic lovey BF for a few months, then found a video of her getting double teamed by two football players (one happened to be in a class of mine as well)

Considering the rose tinted glasses I had about having a GF at the time, that broke the lenses haha.

xFallacyx69 · 2021-06-07T12:53:45+00:00

I mean pretty much every interaction… but the most extreme case was an ex of mine who somehow “attracted the wrong guys” (literally all dudes know what this is code for).

As the story goes, she wanted me because I was fun and exciting and hot and would never lay a hand on her. Her soon to be ex husband (I know, I know) was a wife beater and serial life-threatener, so she wanted something safer… at least that’s what she “said”… But that didn’t stop her from breaking up with me to pursue a guy that beat the absolute shit out of her on too many occasions to count. She finally “stood up for herself” (I.e. couldn’t stop the neighbors from calling CPS because she was too immature to spare his daughter the sight of her dad beating the shit out of a woman he claimed to love AGAIN).

Long story short, she still posts self-victimizing text walls about the guy she probably would leave ANY dude for if given the chance, and her new beta cuck is none the wiser. She also reaches out every now and then to send me some racy pics/vids of her trying on sexy underwear because I’ve told her on multiple occasions I’m only interested in being her friend and NEVER anything more. So I have to ignore her for a couple weeks til she reaches out with a non sex related convo starter.

She’s hot AF, so never stick your dick in crazy is so true… but I did and here we are.

Luckily I was not super invested due to early warning signs so no regrets. PLUS, it’s always hilarious to see her with white Knight bait on Facebook.

Im_The_Daiquiri_Man · 2021-06-07T04:58:25+00:00

This should be a fun thread.

I think one of the best examples I've ever heard (though not my story which I have plenty of) was the story of Zoe Q of Gamer gate fame and the "Five Guys" blog post or whatever the dude wrote about her.

Zoe was a major / huge SJW and would apparently brow beat and lecture her beta BF about how "cheating is rape because once you cheat, you are having sex with me on false pretenses" etc.

Fast forward to him discovering she has been banging guy after guy behind his back for most of the relationship while gaslighting and emotionally abusing the guy until he was nearly suicidal.

This was a woman who ostensibly cared about "social justice" and made a virtual career about writing about how bad men are to women etc.

The gamer-gate shit I could care less about as it was just some nerds getting mad about supposedly compromised game reviews, but the actual story of what this woman did was eye opening and sadly, pretty common.

Then of course we have good ole Amber Heard and her "Domestic Violence Ambasador" for the ACLU while simultaneously punching, mutilating and attacking Johnny Depp. Not to mention the taking a shit on his bed thing.

Sad_Top1743 · 2021-06-07T07:03:39+00:00

Watching women of all creeds and backgrounds flock to the same dudes at countless events did it for me

Goodthingstartssmall · 2021-06-07T12:35:27+00:00

Date from your social circle because this way women will learn to know you and they will hint subtle gestures when you can approach them. Cuddling on parties and being invited to go out by said girl apparently weren't qualified and ended up in a slap when i went for the kiss. Only to see that latino immigrant in the club dancing towards her and forcefully kiss without built up and suddenly that girl is soo in love with him because he is so bold.

There are some other light stories but this one was the most eye opening.

Notsonewguy7 · 2021-06-06T22:45:08+00:00

I was stabbed by one girl, cheated on by another, and one girl stole from me.

Pretty disillusioned early on.

reluctantly_red · 2021-06-06T23:35:30+00:00

I don't even know where to start with this one. I have enough women behaving baldly in ways TRP predicts stories to fill a book.

Apprehensive_Boat_70 · 2021-06-07T03:58:16+00:00

Not redpill, but I put the effort that supposedly a high value man puts only to receive dissrespect and no love, and the moment I stopped doing those things, she got all head over heels with me.

TrajanOptimus117 · 2021-06-07T13:46:08+00:00

There wasn't a singular event that served to open my eyes, it was an accumulation of witnessing the incongruity of what women said versus what they actually did.

Once I went to university and stayed in student halls, I saw up close the kind of guys that the girls continuously brought home and slept with, despite these same girls bemoaning these kinds of guys whenever we would drink together and discuss sex and relationships.

And these girls were in all other ways respectable middle class university students, they were normal and nice enough in everyday life, yet on nights out cocky assholes would say the most provocative, outrageous shit to them, and rather than getting annoyed, their eyes would light up and they would giggle like children and get very touchy with the guys.

Being the nice guy rarely worked for me personally, something about it just seems off putting to young women around my age (18-25).

The issue is that I am genuinely am a nice guy, I didn't and don't like all the manipulation and gaslighting I've employed towards women over the years, but at the same time if I'm playing a rigged game then I have to employ the strategies that work, and I don't see how women can get annoyed at this when they're the ones not enforcing their own rules.

My hypothesis is that because young women have effectively infinite SMV, and because most utilise Tinder and other OLD platforms, as well as social media, that they just become so numb to the attention from guys that they can't pick one out of the bunch.

So, an arrogant asshole may be unpleasant, but he is at least memorable, and he does at least stand out, and because real life and online are becoming more and more enmeshed, the fact that this guy sticks out and commands her attention while the hundreds of other guys in her DMs are incapable of doing so, and thus triggers an attraction response in her brain.

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-06-07T12:17:58+00:00

Not rp but I learned about 19 the best way into a woman's pants was to act like you had no desire to get in said pants.

TheChocolateBarsGuy · 2021-06-07T13:28:26+00:00

Okay so for me i didn't learn the hard way but i was actually red pilled already. Because i grew up in a Euro/Middle Eastern household being a masculine man and not taking shit from women is the norm.

The time i realised women lie and do not actually say what they want was in high school. In our friend group there were two assholes me and another guy. The rest of our friends were " nice guys ". Us the assholes got all the women although objectively speaking we weren't the most handsome or tallest of our group + we were the lowest on socioeconomic level in our group.

Something didn't make sense to me since these women claimed to like " nice guys " yet they choose us assholes over them. So i went on the internet and found the red pill. It explained a lot although some of it is made up shit with no basis in reality.

I am just glad i grew up in a household where being a masculine man was the default. Western men need to become masculine again and tell women to shut the fuck up and follow them.

billsull_02842 · 2021-06-07T03:49:47+00:00

they are attracted to players even though they complain about players. women appear to be attracted to sexually abusive men. they are looking for men that will bruise the teats of their virginity-ezekiel 16

VasiliyZaitzev · 2021-06-06T22:35:21+00:00

I watch my parents have what turned out to be a 60+ year marriage. My dad volunteered for combat in WWII, my mum waited for him and he returned in September of 1945 and they were married that winter. He was an introvert and she was an extrovert which, in that combination, typically leads to disaster, but she was really committed to the marriage. So they had a Marriage 1.0 and were very much in crazy, storybook love with each other.

Having seen this, I thought, "I'm going to be GREAT at this!"

Spoiler Alert: I was NOT great at this.

By the time I arrived on the scene, the social contract between men and women had pretty much been broken, although it would, in fact, get worse after that. I was the guy who would get this: "Vaz, this is the best and healthiest relationship I have ever been in! You make me feel like I can do anything! I feel like I'm a prin...oh. Wait. There goes a guy who looks like he HATES women! I'll see you later! Wait for me at 30!"

Spoiler Alert 2: I was NOT going to "wait" for any bitch at 30, after they'd finally fucked every Drug Dealer, Escaped Mental Patient and Outlaw Biker they could get their hands on, and were ready to "settle down" now that their SMV was wilting.

So I went Back To The Lab and went over the Game Film, saw where I went wrong, and decided "Hmm. Rather than piss and moan about how women always go for jerks, I'ma be the jerk that women go for." So I implemented the "Hardline Protocols, According to Uncle Vaz" and now I meet women on their own terms. Sure, I have a couple of horror stories, but I course corrected, once I figured out that what I thought would work wasn't working.

I figured out what pool of girls was going to be into me (hint: those who don't want a man who belongs to a club, but rather want a man with a club that belongs to him), and I learned how to game them until the little slut comes out, and then I do with them what I please - and they wouldn't have it any other way.

If all that "Disney" bullshit was legit, then TRP would be full of posts like: "Grand Romantic Gestures That Will Make Your Girlfriend Swoon." It's not, so what does that tell you?

Gabi1351 · 2021-06-07T13:44:31+00:00

I also heard many stories about "innocent crunch" girls only to go rampant on sexpree usually coming from people who tried to shut down their sexual desire by using religious crap only to bite them in the ass.

OXOzymandias · 2021-06-07T14:50:08+00:00

That women cheat a lot tbh, idk why people think women are more loyal

LookAndAsk · 2021-06-07T19:01:15+00:00

I have some.

- I reconnected with a guy I was friends with in middle school. He had been in the US Navy, then had a stint in prison. He ended up marrying his high school girlfriend and had two kids. He was a loser, lived in a rundown trailer, and rarely had a job. I remember vividly the night he stopped by my workplace to ask me for money. Meanwhile, two different women hit on him while we were talking. I remember thinking "this guy is a 5'8" ex-con with no job, no car, and no money, yet women are all over him." I once had to tell him to stop talking to me about the women he was sleeping with because it just made me feel bad (and I think he knew it...it was the one thing he was better at than me), and yes, the women were physically attractive. He eventually decided to sell drugs and was promptly thrown in prison again.

- A girl I worked with would hang out with me quite a bit at work. I was interested but I had an ethical problem dating someone I worked with (at least in the same department). She would talk to me about her life, including her oldest son that she didn't talk about to anyone and had stopped communicating with her (came as a huge surprise to me but in hindsight should have been a sign). She would invite me out with her kids sometimes, she would literally cry on my shoulder, etc, so I thought I knew her pretty well. We had been working together only about two months when she talked about how some guy in her workout group had messaged her on Facebook, sending her pictures of himself showing off his muscles/body. We had a laugh about it, in a 'check out the audacity of this guy' type of way. She said she was particularly put off by the fact that this guy's girlfriend was in the same group.

Fast forward a few months and she is moving to another job in another company. I had planned to ask her out after she left, but during her last day, she revealed she was seeing someone. Guess who? Yep, about two weeks after he had sent her semi-nude pictures of himself, muscle boy started fucking her and had continued despite having a girlfriend already. That one hurt me pretty bad.

Aftermath: she would call me for help at her new job and I just stopped responding. Felt like I was being used. Muscle boy got in trouble and lost his job...he was a coach at a local high school and was apparently fucking a couple of the girls he coached on the girl's track team. She broke it off with him so she wouldn't lose custody of her own kids.

- At the same job, there was another girl that was very obviously into me. If I walked past her area, she would make a point to call out to me. Even though birthdays were not announced, she somehow knew mine and would make a handmade card each year for me, getting everyone in her department to sign it (even though I knew most of them couldn't give a shit). She would interrupt conversations to talk to me. My boss saw this and offered to talk to her manager, as he thought it was harassment. I didn't mind it though, even though I was living with my then-gf at the time. I thought it was fairly harmless. This girl at one point brought her two girls to work and specifically brought them to meet me. So I was sure this wasn't in my head.

Eventually, I broke up with my girlfriend, and then the situation from my second anecdote above occurred. I was single and some of the women at work were trying to set me up with women they knew. One made the suggestion that I ask out the girl that had the crush on me, as it was apparent to more people than just me that she was into me. I thought she was cute and was open to seeing what might happen. So I asked her out to dinner one day when she stopped me to chat. And she turned me down. Said we should just be friends. I was floored so much that I literally said "are you sure?" Then said ok and went on about my day.

That night, she blocked me on all social media. She also emailed a complaint to her supervisor that implied I had sexually harassed her. When I told this to the women that had suggested I ask her out, they were both shocked and outraged. The complaint didn't go anywhere and she avoided me, comically so, for the rest of my time there.

manfrom-nantucket · 2021-06-08T14:48:14+00:00

Watched my older brother turn from a happy dude with hope for his future to a depressed guy who spends most of his time at work after his wife decided to confess that she had been cheating on and off since the start of their marriage until their second child was born. It was a combination of that and listening to Tom Leykis - the professor was dead on about this.

luliloo · 2021-06-06T22:38:42+00:00

I always date nice guys and then break up with them? 👀

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StiophanOC · 2021-06-07T20:25:30+00:00

Growing up in the church for a non-negligible amount of time, seen many "virtuous church girls" who ended up having pregnancy scandals or I've heard them behind closed doors talking about their sexcapades (and it wasn't some vanilla shit either)

So...what about the men in your church?

InfinityRelia · 2021-06-11T18:15:43+00:00

The first woman I ever fucked was an “innocent” Mulsim women (she wore the hijab but hilariously took it off whenever we hung out in secrcy) who you would never think would give the sloppiest head you could imagine. I was 18 and this is when i first lost my virginity and she was 19.

Most of my early sexual experiences were with “innocent” women who’s words never matched how quickly they dropped their panties for me, nor how society truly thought of them.

I grew up in an area that has a high middle eastern / indian population so i just found out organically that they dont mean more than half the shit they say. It still boggles my mind how the women who gave me the most sexual attention when i waa young are the ones who preach about sexual purity.