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Guys on here are jealous of women

August 20, 2022
16 upvotes

I think it has become clear that males are jealous of the female capacity to get sex and males have therefore become obsessed with n counts.

I think the guys obsessing over n counts are extremely insecure. Its unhealthy to be thinking about how big the girls last sexual partners dick was, or whether she done anal with him or how good he was in bed. You can say its "biology" as much as you want but we are not monkeys and their is such thing as paternity and std tests.

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[–]Mrs_DrgreeWomen Are Right About Islam[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link

Removed for low effort

[–]keepin2002 20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

it’s funny how women are allowed to have whatever standard/preference they want to have but when men do the same we are insecure or as this post claims jealous.

Just so you know OP women judge men’s sexual history as well when choosing a partner

No woman wants a partner addicted to e-Thots/porn or someone who has been with prostitutes in the past.

[–]mib732 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This comment needs to be upvoted, although I think possibly it’s not “women” as a category but certain type of woman that seems entitled as you described.

[–]Rubber-duck7203 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just so you know OP women judge men’s sexual history as well when choosing a partner

noooo that's just the built-in misogyny sniffer that all women have somehow.

[–]Raspskallion_Pancak3Love is Blind 14 points15 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

Some guy on another post had the best answer to this question. The truth is it doesn't matter the reason. It's most likely some post-hoc rationalization anyway, and it's a double standard that's going to exist long after we're dead.

I always thought it was because I grew up in a strict religious context that I thought promiscuous women were less than; but I've come to doubt that. Men of all backgrounds seem to converge on this line of thinking.

Even in the most progressive countries surveyed, the men on average are more concerned than the women about their partner's sexual past.

If you had to find the most empirically validated reason it's probably related to sexual jealousy as an adaptive strategy. Finding any signs of promiscuity as a sign of infidelity and what have you.

Yes you can say we have ways to verify paternity but that's not sufficient to stop all of us from feeling this way. We know that logically, calorie-dense sugary foods will kill us but that doesn't stop us from indulging those instincts. Just look at all the fat people around you - indulging in their biological instincts.

[–]That__ESTPurple Pill Woman 8 points9 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I don't even disagree with your comment. But I will say this:.

Just look at all the fat people around you - indulging in their biological instincts.

And nobody likes it. If they themselves could change, most of them would. People would prefer to not date fat people in the big picture and the diet and exercise community is huge. We don't just shrug off fat people. We would prefer they get with the program and change.

For me, I don't understand the whole N count thing because I work very very hard on keeping myself in a mindframe where other people aren't in control of my mindset. I don't want to meet the perfect person who wants to be with me and then be unable to get over some aspect of their past that involves consensual sexual activity. I subscribe to a belief that the only thing that I want to bother me is what I do. Like I can be bothered by me possibly offending someone. I'm going to go out of my way to apologize to them and right my wrong and not offend them again. But other people's actions? They're just on their own life path. I just personally try to shrug stuff off that doesn't actually affect me. I could get hung up on a lot. But I'm just going to get hung up on things that personally I can control. If I were to have rejected a High N girl, it would be because of other things first. Especially in this day of std tests and treatment, and Paternity testing.

[–]Raspskallion_Pancak3Love is Blind 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What a coincidence. I was just thinking about you! Well I was thinking about that conversation you and I had about men's sexual jealousy way back.

Yes I agree that we should get with the times. We have contraceptions, STD panels, and paternity tests. Guys should work to contextualize the beliefs they hold about women and sex.

I think your attitude shows a lot of maturity and self-efficacy. I think the newer generations are doing a lot to de-emphasize the whole puritanism aspect surrounding sex. If there will be anyone internalizing new messages, it's gonna be them.

That being said, I know I personally am not strong enough to contain my jealousy. That's why I've always had the policy of never asking and never knowing about anyone's past. I do it to protect myself mainly.

I remember with my last girlfriend, her ex was an acquaintance of mine so I didn't have the privilege of knowing nothing. I once had an intrusive thought of him being inside of her, and my body was washed over with a feeling of disgust. I couldn't look her in the eyes the entire day. It's not her fault. And a big insight I've developed recently was that it's not my fault either. Emotionally charged ideations come and go. It wasn't a sign that I lacked self-awareness or self-assurance. Ideations like that are just there. I loved her so I always wanted to prevent any situation I consciously or unconsciously felt that way.

[–]That__ESTPurple Pill Woman 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for thinking of me! And thank you for writing this all out. It's a lot to think about and I appreciate men's honesty on this sub even when I can't fully wrap my head around it. That's what makes us different from each other!

But I believe you. And I think these knee jerk feelings are valid. I wonder how we can work with this to make things better for both genders?

[–]Raspskallion_Pancak3Love is Blind 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wonder how we can work with this to make things better for both genders?

I think you're already doing it. I appreciate your comment because it means a lot to be heard and to be taken at face value. It will remind me in the future to try to do the same for understanding feelings that aren't directly accessible from experience :)

[–]Spiritual_Age_4992 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Just look at all the fat people around you - indulging in their biological instincts.

And nobody likes it. If they themselves could change, most of them would. People would prefer to not date fat people in the big picture and the diet and exercise community is huge. We don't just shrug off fat people. We would prefer they get with the program and change.

You're right.

& you know what else is mindlessly indulging in your biological instincts at the risk of lifelong STDs, death & pregnancies?

Being the town bicycle.

I'm sure all the sluts would prefer to not engage in promiscuous sex & have healthy fulfilling relationships instead only if they had therapy as you put it.

You seem to disrespect fat people.

It's understandable because they have low self control, low self discipline & self destructive tendencies.

Sluts are the same.

Edit: I think that's the best comeback I've ever written on this subreddit.

[–]overandunderX 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

But the issue is, nothing you just just said is unique to women. Men have the same risks in being the town pogo stick. Men are showing the same lack of self control when they attempt to fuck everything with a vagina.

[–]Spiritual_Age_4992 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure.

[–]That__ESTPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I never said if only they had therapy.

I'm gonna say something possibly unpopular but I do think some "sluts" have a few screws loose. Which is why I even say that there are some High N women I wouldn't give the time of day to and it would have nothing to do with their N count.

How do we consider a High N woman though? Even in the threads where we talk about it, people can't see to agree on what is High N.

Your comeback is pretty great, but you and I aren't really arguing and your comeback just proves my point: we don't say "oh it's just biological" when there are new contracts in place. The fat person would probably love to free themselves to not be fat. Not sure what the slut would do as many of them are just kind of...reckless people to begin with. But the man worried about High N (which I don't even know what you consider to be High N) would want to change his thinking too.

If promiscuity is seen as infidelity, then don't worry about it. The justifications in the cheaters head are as varied as the cheaters themselves. Most people have sex with a handful of folks before they settle down in marriage. And some people would consider an N of 2 to be High N. So yes absolutely, free yourself from the shackles of worrying about N counts and infidelity in this world where we can test for STDs and paternity test children. And that's not to say just go hog wild and overlook red flags, but if you're breaking up with a girl or avoiding her....don't let it be because of her N count.

[–]Spiritual_Age_4992 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your comeback is pretty great, but you and I aren't really arguing and your comeback just proves

Hey don't take it personally. I was just so happy with the wit of it that I turned it more into an argument than a discussion - which is what it should be - a discussion.

If promiscuity is seen as infidelity, then don't worry about it.

I would say promiscuity is more of a future indicator of infidelity. & when it comes to LTRs it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

[–]_revelationary 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, I think this is important. Our brains have the animalistic part, those “base instincts,” but we also have the prefrontal cortex and language abilities and the ability to connect to higher goals and values. There are instinctual things we’ll feel and experience and it can helpful to know where those things come from and also recognize we don’t have to give in.

Or if we do give in because it benefits us for some reason in the moment, also being aware that there might be consequences, I guess.

[–]That__ESTPurple Pill Woman 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just often think to myself: this person is expecting too much out of me like I don't have my own life that I've lived in the past. If you like me and we click, don't go pain shopping. Nor should I go pain shopping.

[–]dekadoka 4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Teaching women to not be promiscuous made total sense before the invention of birth control. The "bullying" aspect (calling them names and treating them poorly) is just traditional female on female toxicity which men have played only a small part in.

[–]Major-Panda522 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

No no. Men were the ones who put bullying and name calling in place. Who do you think did the stoning or honor killings? Women who picked up name calling were just pick-mes in the survival mode. Women don't care how many men other women sleep with. It tells nothing about her morals

[–]dekadoka 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Necessity put the bullying and name calling in place, but women continued it after birth control. If being promiscuous meant unwanted and uncared for children today, women would still be strongly discouraged from being promiscuous. Daughters have always primarily learned their morals from mothers, not fathers. Think about how much time the average man spent with children compared with the average woman, historically. Children are highly impressionable, and learn right from wrong from their parents but especially from their mothers.

[–]Major-Panda522 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

And? Patriarchy was in charge of how society operated so women had to comply. Women did name calling because in order to survive you had to appeal to men and be on their good side so they had to join in. I completely don't care who my friends/coworkers/neighbors sleep with, we will go have a drink and talk and laugh about it. I've seen my friends OF accounts. I don't feel any sort of disgust. Men, on the other hand, won't call you a slut openly but then judge you on your body count. This sub is one example of it. It's the men, not women, who care about sluttiness

[–]TermAggravating8043 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the right response.

Of course men are just jealous, they have no right to be, but they are just human and everyone gets jealous about stuff they can’t get but others can’t.

I’m jealous of people with loads of money. I’m not wealthy and wasn’t born with it either. But I also didn’t work hard enough at school and don’t like working hard in general so I’ve got no on else to blame but myself.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit 9 points10 points  (32 children) | Copy Link

Have you ever considered that a man could be completely secure with himself and not want a high n partner to be the mother of his child and his long term partner?

HVM aren't lining up to marry prostitutes.

[–]poppy_blumonogamous slut apparently 5 points6 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

It is very obvious to anyone not caught up in incel thinking that a LOT of men on this sub are envious of women. They constantly say their lives would be easier and they wouldn’t be so lonely and depressed if they were women. If they were women they wouldn’t have to approach. If they were women they could find some man to support them. If they were women every one would love them unconditionally (I just got done responding to a guy who said exactly this).

OP is not wrong about that part.

Plus you also have to question a man who adopts an if I can’t have it (casual sex) I’ll demonize everyone who is getting it. That’s not very mature.

And when you (generic) sit here and call a 27 yo woman who has had 4 sexual partners a mentally ill slut, normies are gonna laugh at and dismiss you. That’s what people are reacting to.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit 0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy Link

I got plenty of casual sex lol. None of this applies to me.

It still doesn't make high n women more valuable to me. If anything, I'm more valuable to women because of it. It gives me more options due to women's pre-selection and I can afford to be pickier with my long term mate choice.

[–]poppy_blumonogamous slut apparently 1 point2 points  (24 children) | Copy Link

I got plenty of casual sex lol. None of this applies to me.

I said generic you. Quit taking it personally.

It still doesn't make high n women more valuable to me. If anything, I'm more valuable to women because of it. It gives me more options due to women's pre-selection and I can afford to be pickier with my long term mate choice.

Men don’t get to decide what’s valuable to women. Women will not want you for the things that are important to you.

[–]SmarmyPapsmearsMarried but likes to talk shit 1 point2 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Either way, if I have a selection of similarly attractive women interested in me, I'm going to favor the lowest n one for a LTR. That's how this works.

Me having options weeds out high n women.

[–]dekadoka 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don't really care about the sexual aspect, but I think the median woman has had a better life than the median man for most of history. If anything, it has probably gotten worse for the median woman since a bunch of rich white men convinced her to go to work so they could lower wages due to increased supply of labor. That, and the fact that society is strongly encouraging women to constantly take drugs which have been proven to cause negative psychological effects and even mental illness.

[–]poppy_blumonogamous slut apparently 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is a perfect example of what I mean.

I’ll put it this way. Every men here start screeching about WaW and female privilege i ask if they’d switch with me, a black woman.

Unsurprisingly none have ever said yes.

[–]dekadoka 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think race and gender are two separate issues. I think racism is just evil, but there are some conversations worth having about gender.

[–]mib732 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. I have no idea what this OP is talking about; some men like myself would like to be in a relationship that leads to marriage/kids. I am not jealous of women because of their n count; far from it. The reason being: since I am a man, I am not jealous of woman because if I had to guess our experiences/goals are different are possibly different.

[–]RegalMonkey 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bingo Jimmy. Girls with high n counts are literally Motels to me. I’ll stay for the night but not a day longer.

[–]KirthWGersen 6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It is easier for women to sex than men; it is easier for men to get relationships than women.

It is easier for a woman to find a man to share his resources with him; it is easier for a man to attract a mate with his money.

It is a easier for a woman to have a baby; it is easier for a man to walk away.

Women find dating easier when they are younger; men find it easier when they mature.

Women enjoy sex more; men want sex more.

For every advantage one sex has, there is an opposing advantage the other sex has. It is only natural we are jealous of one another. Each finds it easier to get what the other tends to want more; and harder to get what the other tends to want less.

It is nature's balance.

But if people want to happy, they should simply focus on creating a life they love; not cry into their pillows envying all the lovely options someone else somewhere else has but doesn't want.

[–]Spiritual_Age_4992 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It's not balance when there's an 80/20 principle.

[–]KirthWGersen -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If only 20 percent of men had sex and relationships, the world outside your window would be a very different place.

[–]Spiritual_Age_4992 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

20% of men havs 80% of the sex.

[–]coolcpplearner 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

it is easier for men to get relationships than women.

No it's definitely not. Women can get into relationships far more easily than men.

[–]ReferenceImpossible2 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

100% true. Men only see relationships as a continuing access to sex contract, which again, is what women are in control of.

[–]KirthWGersen 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh, it definitely is. Based on the number of women who have turned me down for sex because I didn't want a relationship.

My experience is that every woman who has sex with me wants a relationship of some sort as a possibility, at least. Men don't generally feel that way.

[–]coolcpplearner 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're experience is an exception, not the rule.

[–]undefeated911 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Women enjoy sex more” cap

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Nope, I don’t wanna be bringing some women home to my parents that has had multiple guys inside of her, leaving trails of precum. No thanks.

[–]NewWayNowPurple Pill Man 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Not just pre-cum. Full-on loads of glistening cum.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmaooo I’m gonna go and vomit now

[–]overandunderX 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Where are these trails of precum? And why not actual cum? How are your parents going to know how many men have been inside her?

[–]NewWayNowPurple Pill Man 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They’ll hear it dripping.

[–]Puzzleheaded_Bet7294 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Both. It’s pretty obvious tbh. Most women end up fessing up in one form or another eventually

[–]Rubber-duck7203 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahh the daily "men shouldn't have any sort of standards" post.

[–]Remarkable_Sort_1706 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the most low effort post I have ever seen in my life.

[–]KombuchaEnema 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I feel like this is equivalent to saying:

Women are jealous of men because men are treated like kings for having sex (whereas women are treated as sluts).

I guarantee most women would take issue with “jealousy” as a concept in these arguments.

Let’s be real: if a man wants a paternity test he is demonized by women. There are women who would divorce their husbands for getting a paternity test. So let’s not act as though that’s a viable option for most men who want a stable household.

If a man can’t ask for a paternity test (most women are horribly offended by it), then his only other option is to look at her history.

A lot of women do sleep around and then settle for guys who are “stable.” I’ve seen in happen with female friends. It happened with my own mother. Men don’t want that.

Also, as a final point: the people you choose to sleep with are indicative of your character. If a man sleeps with trashy women, I assume he himself is trashy. If a man has only ever slept with high-quality women, then I feel more comfortable adding myself to that group of women he’s slept with. Make sense?

I think men feel the same way.

[–]TripsOverCrabs 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If a man can’t ask for a paternity test (most women are horribly offended by it), then his only other option is to look at her history.

I mean... Wouldn't you be pissed if your wife randomly accused you of cheating? Demanding a paternity test is the same as saying "I don't trust you, you must've cheated behind my back". Imo that would only be a reasonable request if there's already a lot of suspicious stuff going on, and in that case the relationship is doomed anyway.

[–]Hefty-Wolverine3675 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m not jealous of a lady every man has had a piece of. I just want someone with similar sexual experience.

[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm jealous that women can experience multiple orgasms, a bunch of different orgasms and are basically orgasm machines. We, men, are like....plop or squirt and we are pretty much done for the night unless we happen to be in a good shape and extremely horny.

[–]Raspskallion_Pancak3Love is Blind 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

They need to be in the right headspace to do that though. A lot of things have to lead up to it, and the guy has to know what he's doing.

Running my hands along her waist or feeling her breath on my skin is enough to get me hard. I bet most women are envious about how easy to excite we are.

[–]CocoBabeNYC 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's true. It's also something men don't understand about women. The wind can blow a certain way and we get hard. For them to get aroused so much more is needed.

[–]ReferenceImpossible2 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Seems like one sex is more high maintenance than the other in this department

[–]CocoBabeNYC 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You want low maintannce sex go fuck men.

[–]Spiritual_Age_49921 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

but we are not monkeys and their is such thing as paternity and std tests.

The latest low brain celled hot take.

[–]deznue 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’d say men treat women with high body count as they would treat a prostitute and if women don’t like that then they should not act like one… meaning men will only use them for sex but not wife them up or commit to them.

[–]smarmycheesesandwich 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Grass is greener.

Women get sex but typically want a relationship. Men get relationships but want NSA sex.

Guys here need to realize that’s a powerful place. Relationships have always been infinitely better than random sex. They don’t listen and wanna chase Tinder thots. 🤷🏾‍♂️

[–]ReferenceImpossible2 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sex frequency in relationships dwindle over time, almost exclusively due to women. The smaller length of time that you know someone, the more likely you’ll have an increased sexual frequency with that person.

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[–]OrdinaryFarmerBurgundy Pill Man 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yikeronies sweetie! If you don't want to be with a hoe, it's because you're insecure and have small dick energy!

[–]poppy_blumonogamous slut apparently 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ironic Freudian slip there

[–]AdditionalPrice7336 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No. We are monkeys. Our choices are severly determined by our in inherited biology. Having said that, yes - to be aggressively vocal about "Town bikes" is more or less perhaps not a good chap.

[–]Barely-moralRed leaning purple-seal. Diagnosed ASPD 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ok. I am about to make a generalization. Exceptions exist.

Maybe it is not about sex.

Maybe it is about the fact that you don't know a single man that was not raised or currently lives in a state of emotional/affection based malnutrition if not flat out starvation. You don't know a single man that is not desperate for affection. It is the norm. You would not notice it. Most men don't notice it. The fish does not think about the water it is in.

A man can remember that one single compliment he got from a random grandma 10 years ago as one of the most comforting moments of his entire life. That is how bad the issue is.

Most men don't even think about it so don't know it. Some men know it but know it is not going to change so they have learn to live with it.

But it is not a good thing. And even if it is something you have learn to live with in a functional way it is going to manifest in some way. Being jealous of women is one way.

[–]reignoferror00 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Until paternity tests become mandatory after every birth there is no point in saying "their (sp) is such thing"

I have many flaws but I'm not one of the guys obsessing over n counts. The only time I would care is indirectly - when by her having that lifestyle for a long length of time has affected her ability to have a somewhat healthy relationship.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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