Has anyone not been catcalled in public?

JohannesClimaco · 2020-05-16T21:20:18+00:00

I literally used to know a girl who was obese and ugly af. One day she ran into my house crying. (we were about 15 back then) I asked her "why are you crying," and she said that some man with a motorcycle called her "little star" and started following her. This was the first time it happened to her that's why she reacted so strongly. The rest of us who are not obese have been getting cat-called since we were 13 so we are used to it. It's still annoying but at least we don't burst out crying.

So yes, all women have been cat-called, except for very ugly women who lie in sheltered neighborhoods maybe.

Rahim556 · 2020-05-16T22:22:03+00:00

I saw the most RIDICULOUS cat call yesterday. This group of 3 young girls got out the car to go in a store. They were anywhere from 16 - 20. One was HOT and dressed in very tight clothes. As they walk by, this old, fat, broke, homeless, bum guy in a wheelchair says "Yeah!!" And they pass by, giggling that they were getting attention or whatever. Then he continues with another "Yeah!!" And then a "Come bounce on my dick!" And proceeded to wait at the front for them to come back out. I left so I don't know what happened after. But it was super disrespectful and cringeworthy. I was thinking, you're a fat, ugly old, broke, bum, who's in a wheelchair, on what planet would this young hottie want to "bounce on your dick?" Like seriously, what fucking planet are you from??

cateml · 2020-05-16T22:29:13+00:00

My opinion is all cat calling is done by like 1% of men. The average guy just wouldn't.

I agree with this part (maybe more than 1%, but a minority).

the whole idea of putting women on a pedestal and chasing like a SIMP loser

I mentioned something on here about catcalling the other day, and the rational TRPers tried to call out on how it was just that I got offended when men I saw as below me were interested.

But genuine thesis statement I'm going to lay out there because of the content of the OP:
Catcalling isn't desperate SIMPing. Catcalling isn't asking a woman out. Catcalling is a sexual enjoyment act for the catcaller in and of itself.

Let's say a woman is walking on a pavement, going from A to B, whatever. And a man catcalls her. He knows this isn't going to lead to her fucking him - how many times has a man shouting a catcall from a moving vehicle that barely slows down or off a building site actually ended in sex? So why?
You guys keep saying "So it must work sometimes, or why would they do it?". Thats almost naive enough to be cute.

Because he wants her attention. Just for a second. Let's say he comments on her breasts. Now, he is interacting with a woman, and they're both thinking about her breasts. And she has them, and he wants them, they're both aware of both those things. She is being made to think about how he is imagining touching her breasts, and he is watching her think about that. She'll likely keep her gaze at the pavement and walk on, not come and talk or give him her number. But that doesn't matter - he made her think about him touching her breasts, and he liked that she is thinking about that.

That isn't a bug - thats the feature.

I remember one time... I don't want to get too personal, but lets just say I was walking towards a thing that was a frightening big deal. I felt very vulnerable, in general, because of that. And some guy rolled down his car window and commented on my ass. Then just drove off. It made me feel like absolute shit. And if you don't understand why... I worry about your capacity for empathy.

A man clocked me walking there, and thought "You know what'd feel nice? If I could make this random woman realise I'm thinking about her ass. Because then we're thinking about her ass together, and that is a part of sex."
It doesn't matter that I probably don't want that. In fact it maybe matters more, in the sense that his interest in my ass stopped me in my tracks - I had to stop thinking about what I was doing or thinking or feeling, and recognise that his feelings about my ass were more important. And if I walk off all cute and blustered... "mmmm", right?
I just, in a moment when I already felt scared of the world, had my innocent random experience as a human animal walking down a pavement turned into an awareness that I was a catwalk for some dude's sex kicks. It was one of many, they started when I was about 14. And I'm not a knockdown looker by any means - I know that a man thinking I'm worthy of being made to feel like shit isn't a compliment, so I don't consider it as such.
I don't have to have a gorgeous body. He isn't interested in a gorgeous body. He is interested in my attention.

That man was a shit-head. Don't be a shit-head. If you want to compliment women nicely and they're not in the mood so they give you a dirty glare - please recognise that isn't the same thing.

JungPaoChicken · 2020-05-16T21:50:59+00:00

Almost everyday whenever I'm out, I've gotten used to it sadly... I just turn the volume up and ignore them. It just gets bad when they start to approach you, follow you and won't take no for an answer.

It's usually the same routine too, they talk about how amazing you look or some outlandish "Let me fuck you." When you say no then it becomes "You're an ugly whore anyways."

PlainISeeYou · 2020-05-16T22:16:47+00:00

I've been catcalled, followed and harassed, and even threatened when I didn't respond in a way they like, and I'm like a six. So it's definitely not only hot girls who experience it.

extensile · 2020-05-16T22:22:04+00:00

Even when I was more of a mysogynostic conservative I thought cat-calling was completely unacceptable. There are a few exceptions to this I can think of (drunk men and women flirting loudly, both parties love it) but generally it's almost always horrible for the woman and embarrassing for the man.

gypsyyymoonss · 2020-05-16T21:31:06+00:00

Women are weaker so of course you’re not gonna be threatened by a catcall. Imagine being a women being catcalled by men who are stronger and dangerous

mellainadiba · 2020-05-17T02:56:51+00:00

who the f888lk is downvoting this thread? Which moid or foid?

wesborlandisagod5 · 2020-05-17T16:50:53+00:00

It all depends on location and culture.

I think women should never be cat called

Sid_Insidious · 2020-05-16T21:49:43+00:00

Male.

Never been catcalled I don't think... I've been "hit on" and "flirted with" and have gotten bedroom eyes, etc. but never "catcalled" on the street.

I don't catcall. No "Hey darling!" or "Hey baby!" or "Smile more!" because that to me is just too creepy.

I have smiled at women, to see if I get a warm genuine smile or that "here's your pursed lips now go away smile". I've struck up conversations with a "Hi" or a "Hey".

I actually have zero problem approaching women in public and can read situations (and reactions) pretty well. Humor lets me get away with murder, I think.

But I just figure women have somewhere to go or something to buy and don't need every guy commenting to them or approaching them.

Oh, BTW, I RARELY see this street harassment thing go on, if it all. I remember ONE KID about 40 years ago did that greasy "HEY GIRL, SMILE MORE!" thing. Who the fuck invented that or told young men it would somehow be effective? Is it some strange compliment where she is beautiful so she should be smiling? Turns out it's the creepiest thing you can say to another human being.

wtknight · 2020-05-17T00:18:09+00:00

I've been catcalled by (presumably) gay guys before. I've never been catcalled by women.

Barneysparky · 2020-05-17T01:50:19+00:00

When I was 12 I had a 14-year-old neighbour. We live by a 4 Lane street with a divider. That summer we had contests where we'd walk down either side of the street in our normal t-shirts sneakers and jeans and see how many cat-calls, whistles and honks we got. Neither of us was allowed to wear makeup or wear revelling clothing etc, just in case your thought strayed to we dressed in a way to provoke attention.

Yes, we were immature messed up kids with a weird-ass game that we would play for an hour or so at a time. 1980, it was normal for us to get into the double digits in one or more categories.

It just was back then. If you were a construction worker in 1980 you probably felt obliged to whistle at every woman.

I thought it was fun until I understood what it meant.

squidhandss · 2020-05-20T08:41:54+00:00

Growing up ugly, I never worried about getting harassed or catcalled. I didn’t believe ugly girls like myself had to deal with objectification and creeps until I was 18. When I started to use public transit frequently, I had a man stare at me and follow me on three different lines, asking me to drink with him. I had men ask if I had a boyfriend and tell me I’m “hot”. I even had one extremely drunk guy give me $50 because I “have some nice strong legs HAAAaahaaAA”. When I was on a walk around my neighborhood, an old truck was driving in circles around every block I passed and followed me home. Granted, these were all men old enough to be my dad, very drunk, and very creepy. But in my area, I realized ugly girls can definitely get catcalled and objectified too.

Likunfanele · 2020-05-16T21:27:53+00:00

Hell I'm a guy but a long time ago when I wasn't old and my hair wasn't salt and peppered, back when I was ridiculously skinny and loved showing it off with tight clothes, and rocking long hair like some kind of hippy faggot, I've been cat called. Guys have cat called my wife while she was with me.

I've never heard a story of it working but I imagine their have been dumb teenage girls it's worked on.

iamsojellyofu · 2020-05-16T22:54:03+00:00

I feel like I'm one of the few women that have never been catcalled in public. It should make me happy but it also makes me question why does it not happen to me.

JohannesClimaco · 2020-05-17T01:05:57+00:00

I’ve traveled and lived around the world and I rarely have received harassment. Maybe the worst city I’ve been to was St Louis or Santiago, Chile. For whatever reason it doesn’t happen to me and no one can explain why. I don’t have resting bitch face and I don’t look threatening whatsoever

NarniaFox · 2020-05-17T02:27:11+00:00

I'm from Russia and exactly the catcalling like shouting some has shit to bypassers isn't really common. It happens from time to time though.

I was whistled to a few times, heard some sexual comments about myself and groped in a public transport 3-4 times. Last time I made a scene and a guy got hit by other women and they threw him out off bus.

I was harassed too, but I think it wasn't catcalling or groping. Like I had to run from guys who discussed loudly how they'd fuck me and started trying to make me talk to them, once a guy tried to pull me into his car, another time a guy was writing me how he wanted to kidnap me... Not a pleasant experience, but nothing really bad had happened.

skystar86 · 2020-05-17T02:47:06+00:00

Usually you get cat called a lot in your teens and earlier 20s. You don't get it in your later 20s and later.

Peacheslikeyou · 2020-05-17T11:46:16+00:00

I've been catcalled in the past but thank god it doesn't happen often.

I just don't think it's really the Uk culture (Unless drunk)

bionix90 · 2020-05-17T20:18:47+00:00

As a guy, I've never been cat called and I've never seen it happen to anyone. I've also never heard of anyone I know that has ever been cat called.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-05-18T12:15:44+00:00

I got catcalled multiple times where I grew up. Since moving it's happened once & that was at a street festival where everyone was drunk. I think it's just more acceptable in some areas.

PlainISeeYou · 2020-05-18T13:49:34+00:00

I’ve never experienced any male attention in public. With the exception of a couple times during a year I managed to get thin- dudes checking out ahead of me in the supermarket smiled and said how’s it goin.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-05-26T16:10:39+00:00

All the time, mostly because of my freakishly big boobs. I dress extremely conservatively as I fkn hate being stared at. But still I've been followed home, filmed, groped & shouted at in the street which is extremely embarrassing when out with family or friends. I'm not particularly attractive, I'd say average looking. I think any woman who looks half fuckable has been catcalled.

ItsCalled_A_USB_line · 2020-05-16T21:39:24+00:00

As a man who is around average looking ive been catcalled by women a handful of times. Though I feel like they were probably doing it mostly as a joke to be funny in a car full of other girls. But I guess most male catcallers probably have similar motivation.

Ive been given unsolicited nudes before by women, but they were in the context of "getting to know each other". Unsolicited because I hadnt turned any conversation with them sexual before and hadnt asked for nudes. Ive also recieved unsolicited nudes once from a gay man and another time from a trans "woman".

Ive been nonconsentually groped by older women in my early teens.

Me personally, I have catcalled before. I only do it to young women who I at least have a vague sexual interest in. I dont do it to make them feel good, I actually want them to feel objectified and even afraid. It feels fun to me.

gunbusterxl · 2020-05-16T23:05:23+00:00

I'm a guy, and I get catcalled as well. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen. Last time was about a couple weeks ago when I was picking up some Dominoes after work. It's not a pleasant feeling at all, and I imagine it must be even worse for women.

I think people who do it don't even think about why they're doing it, or how they make people feel. They just do it because they want to, and don't expect a positive response. None of the women who have catcalled me looked like they were about to ask for my number. They were just enjoying themselves at my expense. I'm pretty sure men that catcall are the same way.

AutoModerator · 2020-05-16T21:12:09+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Slyfer_Seven · 2020-05-16T22:00:50+00:00

Define a catcall... I remember when I used to go snowboarding a lot, if I was on the chair lift and saw a couple of chicks below sometimes I'd yell out "hey cutie, wait for me I'll be right there" or the equivalent, I'd yell all sorts of things at people though just because it was funny (obnoxious looking back, but 20yro me was out of control) to do. I'd be lying if I said they were never there waiting though, it would lead to a some light conversation and maybe we'd go on a run or two, but nothing serious ever developed from it. Good way to pregame for the evening's debauchery though...

I've been catcalled before, it's a little disarming, but hey it feeds the ego, so bring it on. No where near as frequently as women though, everyone knows they got the crown on that one by a long shot

diffdedbed · 2020-05-16T22:50:47+00:00

My wife is a thin blonde and she's been catcalled a few times, all by black men. Take what you will from that. I recall a feminist trying to do a "men suck" video about cat calling in the city and almost every one doing it was a minority, also most weren't' that bad just trying to get her attention.

Its a cultural thing, maybe some parts of the world is culturally acceptable for the men to do it, but in the midwest of the US its not part of white culture, it is most definitely part of black culture.

What this means is mileage will vary quite a bit on this one. Its like asking someone from rural Kansas vrs downtown Chicago if they have been mugged or know someone mugged.

vicistvic · 2020-05-16T23:06:23+00:00

A woman slapped her buttock to obtain my attention. She had a grin which stretched from one ear to the other. I found it hilarious and refrained from laughing out loud.

Arriving home one day, a neighbour catcalled me but I was unimpressed because she was not amusing.

SeemedGood · 2020-05-17T01:48:26+00:00

Man.

Get “catcalled” a handful of times/yr, almost exclusively by white women who look 25 - 50 and progressive. I use the quotation marks because I define it as publicly announced compliments from strangers that range from flirtatiously tinged to overtly sexual.

Will get groped or otherwise “inappropriately” touched by women once or twice a year (not including bars) by the same demo.

Never done it myself.

Title	Has anyone not been catcalled in public?
Author	mellainadiba
Upvotes	9
Comments	132
Date	May 16, 2020 9:12 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gl2hca/has_anyone_not_been_catcalled_in_public/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/has-anyone-not-been-catcalled-in-public.665230 https://theredarchive.com/post/665230