Yesterday, there was a post on here about a new trend where women are creating facebook groups to dox, defame, and shit talk men. When men pointed out why this concept is problematic and how it could be abused; what transpired was a scintillating display of gaslighting, misinformation, and what-about-isms.

Firstly, I can't help but find the irony in the fact that women get so offended when men point out that most women are generally dating the top ~20% of men or so, while talking about something that only exists precisely because they're all literally dating the same guys.

Most men and a couple of women astutely pointed out the potential issues of a) putting a person's face, name, and who else knows what out there for thousands of people to see online, when they have not consented to that and b) creating a private space where one gender can essentially defame, shit talk, and actively harm the livelihood of the other gender.

The definition of doxing is:

The act of revealing someone's personal information online. Doxxing is a form of online harassment that means publicly exposing someone's real name, address, job, or other identifying data. Doxxing happens without a victim's consent, with the aim of humiliating or bullying a victim

Emphasis on REAL NAME or other IDENTIFYING DATA and without the victim's consent. Some of the information released may technically be accessible publicly, but irregardless of that, legally if doxxing is done with the intent to harass someone, which is what is occurring here at least in some instances, can absolutely result in criminal charges. Go look up the group in your local area. They all have identical rules, and the rules are written in the way as if to protect the group admins/owners from legal liability. They are well aware that what they are doing borders on criminal activity. And they are also aware that the content in their groups violates facebook ToS, which is why this excerpt in their rule exists, instructing users to post any details in the COMMENTS instead of the POST, as when the group is reported posts are primarily the content that will be reviewed. They also emphasize that they will ban for any screenshots, I wonder why?

Don't include even a single remotely negative word or accusation in the post text or post images. Even out of context, as a question, or implied. This includes name calling, assumptions, suspicions, possible defamation, or even words like "fboy”, “ghosted”, or "weird". Have minimal to no detail in the post itself. 10 words max. Be vague like “Any tea?” or “🚩🚩 see comments” then put all of the details in the comments.

Well what about men posting and trash talking women? First of all, didn't we all learn in first grade that two wrongs don't make a right? That's just a what-about-ism. And seldom do men post women in conjunction with their real name and identifiable information, and then proceed to defame them in ways that can harm their personal life and livelihoods. Again, doxxing is a crime with legal ramifications.

Bear in mind that these groups are private, and also allow women to post anonymously. Why is that the case? To avoid defamation. Because let's be honest, if they were public the men being posted would sue the ever living shit out of members for defamation. With that established, hopefully people can stop saying "well you can sue!"; how the hell do you sue an anonymous person in a private place exactly?

Of course, some women claimed that none of what I listed is happening in these groups, and it's exclusively to identify abusers and men who commit SA. But as is often the case, what women say, and actual reality, are two very different things. There is no way to feasibly no way to know how every one of these group is moderated, and beyond that, women and men lie. There's nothing special about either gender that makes them morally better people. People lie for personal gain, and people lie to get back at people they don't like.

West elm caleb essentially lost his career because women lied about him. Amber Heard took advantage of the MeToo movement for financial gain while committing domestic abuse and defrauding a children's hospital out of millions. If you are going to opt for the court of public opinion instead of the court of public law, at the very least, an accusation should be public. Here are two of the comments in the thread that stood out in reference to these groups:

My gf is on one of those pages on fb and I go through it. Its usually a picture of a guy and some quote like "any tea?" "I have a bad feeling does anyone know this guy". And then usually all negatives even if they don't know the guy, "omg girl he just looks like a creep, just block him". Its actually quite rare that the guy is dating multiple girls, they usually just bitch and judge the guy together.

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Funny story: a close friend of mine was posted in the secret group “are we dating the same guy” and is now suing the girl who posted/doxxed him for libel/slander after what she said on the app got him passed over for a job.

There was one more from a woman confirming that the group mostly consists of toxic shit talking but unsurprisingly she deleted it.

We also had women in the thread claiming no man has ever got kicked out of school as a result of false allegations. Which is patently FALSE. Again, people lie and need to be held accountable for the things they say by giving the other person the chance to defend themselves. How can you have any sort of discussion in good faith when the only women being honest are the ones being termed pickmes?

People always talk about how toxic men's spaces are, but women's spaces do shit like advocating for literal gun violence against men and facilitate doxing and defamation, the difference being that women's spaces are allowed to remain up despite their blatant and disgusting ToS violations.