Have you actually taken care of a child?

NOTSM · 2020-02-06T22:54:49+00:00

making sure you dont end up with a dysfunctional human

As a whole single mothers do a terrible at this part.

CainPrice · 2020-02-07T00:13:05+00:00

Pathetically easy job. Why do you think nannies, daycare workers, and babysitters aren't millionaires? Why isn't this incredibly difficult and highly-skilled task something that requires extensive degrees and training? Why are the professionals who do this highly difficult job compensated so poorly?

It's almost like childcare is so easy, you can pay a high schooler to feed your kid dinner and put it to bed while you go out on date night with your husband.

SUPPORTING a child is hard. Paying to feed it and clothe it and putting it in a lot of activities so it grows up well-rounded. That is hard. The actual child care? Easy.

This is why women throw a shit-fit over getting a man's support dollars, but don't throw a shit-fit over the man actually being involved in and helping with the child care. Supporting a child is hard. Child care is easy.

Salty-Bastard · 2020-02-07T02:29:40+00:00

Yes, two. No, its not an easy job but it is the most rewarding.

CommanderOfTheDeath · 2020-02-06T23:29:37+00:00

The problem with child support is that the women don't have to prove that they use it for their children. Imo they should have "baby stamps" they can use to buy stuff needed to care for a baby. That's the only way to make sure that the money is actually spend on the baby.

reluctantly_red · 2020-02-06T22:33:03+00:00

No. Why would I take care of someone else's kids?

It's simple. If you can't afford to raise kids, don't have them. I have absolutely 0 sympathy for single moms who get knocked up by a deadbeat. I also have 0 sympathy for women who have to raise children alone because their husband is uninvolved. No one made you choose him to father your child/children.

I also believe child support is a good thing. Someone has to pay for those bastards, so why the fuck should it not be the fucker who sired them.

DangZagnut · 2020-02-06T22:25:07+00:00

When I worked at a summer camp I took care of ages 4–14 for entire summers.

I assume you mean a baby with diapers?

Workaholiconew · 2020-02-06T22:39:35+00:00

12 younger cousins on a day in day out basis and 2 in weekendly basis.

Women in Brazil have to work in order to sustain us, their children, so they leave their children to their parents and grandparents, i.e. my grandma, until around the age of 10. However, de facto, it was me, (the olderst of her grandchildren) and my little bother (the second oldest) to take care of her grandchildren, as she was constantly sick. (My sister would help right at the end, just after grandmother died).

It is not easy, sure, even more when it is more than 4 toddlers at a time. But I don't understand where does all that "children are difficult to care" thing comes from. 1 old woman, and 2 teens could take care of 14 children rather easily, as I had a childhood and teenage years like anybody else. We had free time, but it was an attentive free time. We would play videogames with the bigger children but be wary of the recently born babies, for example.

I however see that the westerners are rather poor parents overall, they do not give limits to their children. Maybe that is where it comes from. I had a spoiled cousin, he was the devil incarnate when he wasn't with me or my brother. It took the death of his father so he would learn to behave. Quite sad indeed.

Tomatoccino · 2020-02-07T02:03:44+00:00

[deleted]

sublimemongrel · 2020-02-06T22:25:29+00:00

I can’t imagine someone say that’s an easy job

But it is in all instances a voluntary one.

reluctantly_red · 2020-02-07T00:24:40+00:00

Of course I have. I have four kids and three grandkids. I was a single dad to the first set for years after their mom checked out.

While raising kids is certainly a high stakes game its actually a pretty easy gig.

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StopTheIncels · 2020-02-06T22:58:31+00:00

I have both babysat, changed diapers, and fed my younger cousins a few days here and there (varying ages 3-10) over the years. Obviously not for long periods of time (>few weeks).

Not to say it is easy, but it's very manageable. I think a lot of women get stressed over being overprotective, and want 'the very best' (in every category) for their child. This is plainly not going to happen, even with one child. Granted some days I have passed out before the kids (they can be exhausting).

Emervila · 2020-02-06T23:02:36+00:00

This is a question for MRAs. Currently they not necessarily complain about a specific amount but mostly about the lack of auditing over such funds. Any good father won't hesitate to pay for anything his loved child needs but how can you be sure all that money will reach its real destiny.

It's concerning for men on child support matters women mostly or vastly look for money only, they don't accept goods or services but exclusively money without any proof on how effectively that money is spent.

Some countries are implementing laws to audit how the mother spends child support and also allowing goods and services to be taken as child support payment but still long way road for many fathers

bann2787 · 2020-02-06T23:08:19+00:00

I baby sat my cousin, but he was round 9 or 10. I've taken care of my kid, she's six now. The first few months were no sleep for sure. Since then, it's only gotten progressively easier. We used reusable diapers to save money, so had my fair share of scraping shit out of diapers. We also used a blender for her baby food. Wife didnt work, didnt waste money on daycare. Got most of her items used, honestly it hasn't been expensive at all to raise her.

Maybe I have the best kid ever, but outside those first few months, it's been easy, going on easier. Though I will say mad props to breastfeeding, that can be really hard and painful. At least it burns mad calories for the mom. Is this what you were looking for OP?

wub1234 · 2020-02-06T23:13:30+00:00

I have spent quite a lot of time with my friend's daughter, who was nine years old when I met her, and is now nearly 11. I taught her to play chess, and I've been coaching her for the past year. I've taken her to play golf, and we play video games together, both new titles and retro games.

yuckyuck13 · 2020-02-06T23:55:49+00:00

Yes, my sister has two kids that I've babysat. Physically draining but fun. They call me Krampus and I love it. Getting paid isn't the point, those who think they should be paid are selfish.

zerofeetpersecond · 2020-02-07T00:36:45+00:00

[deleted]

zerofeetpersecond · 2020-02-07T00:45:20+00:00

I hope OP knows there is a difference between “men” complaining and the complaints of men that WOMEN find attractive. Most men want to be fathers, but women don’t have sex based on fatherly potentially. There isn’t a single motherhood problem because women chase book worms.

zerofeetpersecond · 2020-02-07T00:45:28+00:00

I hope OP knows there is a difference between “men” complaining and the complaints of men that WOMEN find attractive. Most men want to be fathers, but women don’t have sex based on fatherly potential. There isn’t a single motherhood problem because women chase book worms.

rogicar · 2020-02-07T00:58:22+00:00

Yes. My mother runs a daycare and I helped her during summer while in high school. I helped her in every aspect except change diapers. It's the easiest job in the world when I saw it that way.

That being said, I hated it. No, this does not contradict that it's a really easy job.

Wallstreet3 · 2020-02-07T01:20:09+00:00

Done it all. Changed diapers, gave baths, fed them, got them dressed, played with them, entertained them and disciplined them. Dressed their wounds.

Also family caregiver to my mother after her 2nd stroke.

And yes, easy. All of it.

binkerfluid · 2020-02-07T01:58:30+00:00

Yes. We supposedly have 50-50 but I have him the majority of the team in reality. Still have to pay her every month because she makes less than me (even though she is with someone who makes more...who she claims never has money because he is paying child support for multiple kids. But to believe anything she says would be a mistake. He is also supposedly an abusive alcoholic but I know she is abusive herself.). Trying hard not to lose my house at the moment, I will have to get a second job and sacrifice the time I get with my kid.

cxj · 2020-02-07T02:27:38+00:00

Not really no

diffdedbed · 2020-02-07T02:37:45+00:00

My kids are easy jobs.

DaphneDK42 · 2020-02-07T02:50:13+00:00

Yeah. I have kids. You are building a straw man.

Usually, people are not opposed to child support. They are opposed to unreasonable child support (the USA need a maximum cap. like the rest of the civilized world. Around $800/md. or thereabouts), and they are opposed to men being sent to debt prison when unable to pay child support, and they are opposed to having to pay child support for children genetically not their own, and so on.

With regard to state support. Yes, I'm against that on principle - as I am with most other kind of state support. Those money are just taken from some other people, who have nothing to do with the mother or the child. If you can't afford a child. Don't have a child. Do not expect Bob down the road to pay for your child.

Cash50000 · 2020-02-07T03:10:08+00:00

Sort of. I am a volunteer at an educational organization. We organize workshops and lessons for kids 6 to 16 yo, though I've mostly been dealing with the younger ones this past year. I find it very satisfying, as I consider my own education to have been lacking. And so I want the new generation to have it better. It's quite different from a full experience, but I assume a parent-like role for a couple hours. Interestingly, I am one of, I think, four men in that organization. Out of, like, fifty people total. It seems that voluntarily taking care of children is not an idea that occurres to men often.

social_mule · 2020-02-07T03:27:38+00:00

No parenting or daycare but I have babysat my nieces and nephews. Sometimes the come and spend the entire day with me. I enjoy it when they come to visit but I also enjoy it when their parents come to pick them up. It serves a three pronged purpose of (a) spending quality time with them, (b) giving their parents a break and (c) serving as a gentle reminder of why I don't want kids of my own.

win-win-win all around

NockerJoe · 2020-02-07T04:51:14+00:00

I've babysat twice and its fucking aggrivating. But I'm not sure if thats because every kid is a little shithead or the kind of woman who would use me of all people is just a poor parent.

alby333 · 2020-02-07T07:35:11+00:00

Done it it's not difficult

30dirtyfingers · 2020-02-07T09:44:04+00:00

yep, thats why i dont want any. Its not an easy job, but it is somewhat rewarding watching children develop and grow, knowing you played a part in it.

SherbertBacon · 2020-02-07T10:16:45+00:00

Yes. I used to volunteer in child care and did a few summer day camps in high school (back in my church days when I wasn't an atheist). I also dated a single mom for a few months and would often help or even take childcare shifts for her. He was an absolute unit of a little dude, very awesome toddler. It was also very fucking hard, not the work itself (though it could be exhausting), but mostly because there was rarely a moment to fully let your attention or guard down. Constant vigilance, and total silence was often a bad sign. Rewarding as all hell, but hard.

Its interesting that I see guys complain about childsupport, women spending more, and women getting more help from the government.

I think it stems mostly from fear, a worst case scenario where the woman he loves and has chosen to be vulnerable with fucks someone else on the side, takes him to court, and bleeds him dry of all he's worth. Heartbroken and penniless he's left with an embarrassment that cuts through on a primal level. Is it common? Not that I've seen, but for the guy driven by fear or pessimism I can understand it taking shape in the shadows of his mind (this is also my judgmental view on the materialization of red pill beliefs and mindsets)

Eastuss · 2020-02-07T10:54:56+00:00

Yes. I am the main parent of my child, I sacrifice work hours and competitiveness in face of my incel coworker, and I'm the main breadwinner of my home.

The problem is that everything is tied to women's decisions. How much you see your kid and how you have to pay.

Though I'm not against the idea of child support, I'm against the idea of alimony.

PapaPinyun · 2020-02-07T12:44:49+00:00

I always wonder how humans made it when I am around infants and toddlers, bc the impulse to smash or choke them to death is very strong. I don't know if it's bc they already know how to open and use a phone tho, that might be coloring my impression. In my adolescence I cared for my infant and toddler cousin and toddler sister when their mothers went back to work and that was not easy even w many brothers to conscript.

abaxeron · 2020-02-07T12:52:58+00:00

Have you actually taken care of a child?

Yes.

Im not just talking about parenting, Im talking about babysitting and daycare too.

Yes.

Its interesting that I see guys complain about childsupport, women spending more, and women getting more help from the government. It always makes me wonder how many of those guys had to take care of a child.

Yes.

Sacrificing work hours,

Childless women are just as useless in the workforce as "childful" ones. Children constitute just as huge sacrifice of success for men as they are for women (men don't have time or money for additional training, they can't take risks, can't put their savings in risky investments, etc. etc. etc.)

paying for the child to be healthy/happy

This does not make any sense.

paying for when the kid breaks stuff,

What are you talking about. Kids break stuff all the time; this is why we have toys. Specially designed safe and cheap stuff for breaking.

and making sure you dont end up with a dysfunctional human.

Oh yes, you'll need to read a couple books, what a disaster, what a sacrifice.

I can’t imagine someone say that’s an easy job.

Here's Fast Fourier Transform written on C++. This is one of the most commonly used algorithms in the world, written on one of the most commonly used languages. To be allowed anywhere near anything resembling serious programming / digital signal processing, one needs to understand what each line of this code does, how it can be altered, optimized, and changed to get compiled, say, on a platform that only partially supports certain standard libraries and methods.

Here's schematic diagram of an OBSOLETE microwave oven (i.e. modern ovens have diagrams even more complex, containing even more elements).

Here's an ordinary PLC panel. Some of these contacts go to equipment expensive enough that ruining it will get you instantly fired. Others have enough power to instantly kill an average human. They're often located in areas not containing any chairs or heating/ air conditioning.

Here's brief description of hazards among garbage collectors.

Child care IS quite easy job. The only reason so many people are complaining that it's hard is because a) they have no training and no theoretical background; 2) they foolishly believe that magic emanating from their vaginas means that they don't need any training or theoretical background.

Especially since it doesnt truly pay.

It does truly pay. Virtually all jurisdictions worldwide recognize that less-earning parent taking care of children has full legal rights to a share of their more-earning spouse's income. More than that, it's the world's ONLY paid job that has absolutely no standards of quality, except "keep the kid alive and don't injure them deliberately".

Shadow_Of_ · 2020-02-07T13:50:28+00:00

I've never had kids

2020-02-07T15:10:40+00:00

Yes and if I knocked someone up I would take responsibility and be a father to the best of my ability, even though I don't want to be one by choice. That's called "not being a piece of shit".

The complaint is that women use children as a paycheck and then don't properly parent, and children should have both parents present.

WGttDS · 2020-02-07T15:30:41+00:00

I raised my sister while my single mom struggled with mental health issues. Not an easy job, but it was absolutely one of the most rewarding things I've ever done. It may not come with a paycheck but some things are more important.

i_cri_evry_tim · 2020-02-07T16:01:23+00:00

Lmao.

Looking after children is haaaaaaard.

Yeah that’s why we let high schoolers do it.

rus9384 · 2020-02-07T16:02:33+00:00

Yes, I have taken care of my little brother. That has strengthened my childfree attitude.

darkbluexanadu · 2020-02-07T16:57:20+00:00

First of all as a dad i dont "babysit" my children. And to answer the rest of questions YES..all of it. Thats why i have custody of my kids now.

Jip_Jaap_Stam · 2020-02-07T17:12:50+00:00

Looking after normal kids is easy. Disabled ones, not so much. Either way, I'd rather be with my kids than go to work.

sadomasochrist · 2020-02-07T19:49:19+00:00

Yes, it sucks.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2020-02-07T20:08:34+00:00

My parents own a daycare. I've been taking care of children since I was a child.

I can’t imagine someone say that’s an easy job. Especially since it doesnt truly pay.

It's easy.

ifelsedowhile · 2020-02-07T20:27:54+00:00

If women were working full time and men stayed home caring for the kids, feminists would complain that men are privileged because they can stay home and playing with the children instead of having to work.

Redpiller77 · 2020-02-08T05:13:56+00:00

I grew up in a single mother household. She worked 12 hours a day, and my big sister left when she was 18. I was stuck with my younger brother. I basically raised him and myself and took care of the house (I was 12 at the time), and we were poor as fuck. Easy shit, I could have done it even with my hands tied on my back.

couldbemage · 2020-02-08T07:07:23+00:00

Super easy. Raised two by myself for a few years before I met my third wife.

And not a job. Just like cooking my food isn't a job. Doing stuff for other people is a job. Why would anyone expect to get paid taking care of their own kids?

UniqueMotherTrucker · 2020-02-08T14:23:53+00:00

”Babysit”??!?

Taking care of the house and children is cakewalk. Women complained because that's what they do. Complain and find reasons to complain.

My house, spotless. I already raised three to adulthood and just last year, won custody of my son after a 10-year 180k fight. I'm a Sys Admin and can buy my children what they need and want. Don't get me wrong, women have value but they just can't get out of their own way even when it's crucial. The culprit; hormones and emotions. In those two respects, they are inferior and lacking because they allow those hormones and emotions to make decisions that have consequences.

This came out like women bashing and that wasn't the intent. The only intent was to the fallacy that being a homemaker has ANY difficulty or "takes all day" at all.

By the way, it's no a "job". If you're a woman that thinks it is, you're already being melodramatic.

lionhart280 · 2020-02-07T01:19:09+00:00

Its interesting that I see guys complain about childsupport

I would have 0 issue with child support if I had the right to 'abort' my rights as a father before month 3 of the pregnancy.

Basically if I can sign paperwork before month 3 and nope the fuck out and get off the hook for child support, then it's a level playing field.

Currently men have 0 power to cancel fatherhood, which means we literally have 2 options if we dont want to be a father

Option 1. Never ever have sex.

Option 2. Have sex and perpetually run the risk you fuck up and accidently impregnate a woman who decides she suddenly does want to keep the kid.

That's it. Condoms can fail, mistakes can happen, no firm of contraception is bullet proof.

So we either abstain or keep rolling the dice.

Women have the power to abort and I 100% support the right to bodily autonomy.

In return I expect the same right. If women deserve the autonomy of "no wait I dont want this kid", men deserve that right to.

Give men that right and then I think all the complaints of child support will vanish.

MrHerbSherman · 2020-02-06T23:35:19+00:00

In my experience both men and women exaggerate the costs and work required to do anything but women exaggerate costs far more, and are much more likely to deem luxuries necessities

I will consider as an alternative hypothesis that people are mostly just grossly incompetent and wasteful; that would fit my experience just as well tbh

Title	Have you actually taken care of a child?
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	13
Comments	230
Date	February 6, 2020 10:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/f00b4r/have_you_actually_taken_care_of_a_child/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/have-you-actually-taken-care-of-a-child.330919 https://theredarchive.com/post/330919