How do large age gaps work?

1Here4Bach · 2021-06-03T02:59:30+00:00

They usually don’t work. That’s the thing. A five year age gap is 18% higher rate of divorce than a 1 year age difference. 10 year gap? 39% more likely. 20 years? 95% more likely.

ArtNo6372 · 2021-06-03T06:46:49+00:00

honestly they usually dont, not to mention its gross lol. I dont understand why people are like "ew pedo" when they see 15-18 but dont bat an eye at 18-40 as if people are suddenly magically fully mature at 18

milkyymochii · 2021-06-03T03:48:22+00:00

They don’t work and they usually come riddled with problems and weirdness.

Males who approach very young women are creepy losers. I remember a few years ago I was freshly 18 and STILL in high school when my male coworker who was in his 40s asked if I’d be down to go on a date & netflix & chill. I’m in my early 20s now and nothing has changed, these types of dudes are still raging creepy losers.

Cataclysma324 · 2021-06-03T05:41:12+00:00

Where is my 35 year old mommy gf then? They're supposed to have the same smv as me

couldbemage · 2021-06-03T03:45:37+00:00

It's really strange how people in this sub focus age gaps in old age so much. 40 and 20 is weird and frowned on in our society, but 40 and 60 isn't, except here. 20 year olds are all at similar stages of health, but that isn't true at 40. Plenty of 40 year olds are in the final decline, while others are in their prime still.

The problems are on the young end, not the old end.

I'm thinking of my dad, doing great at 80 with a 60 year old girlfriend, and she's the one with the heart attack.

NarniaFox · 2021-06-03T04:09:26+00:00

They tend not to work.

Age affects everything. Tastes, goals, health, views on the world, energy levels etc. I guess a lot of couples with a much older man have "fatherly" dynamic - she's his "little girl" (sorry, typing that makes me cringe myself), he provides for her, "teaches" her, makes her life nice and easy. Is it sustainable when she gets to her 40s or 50s while he's well in his 60s or even 70s already? He becomes and looks like a grandad and sooner or later he will require her help and care.

I've read the post from a woman in such relationships. She was around 40s when her husband was 60ish and developed some health issues. She couldn't do what she wanted to do - travel, do lots of hiking, do some active sport together, because her life was turning around her partner and his health. He needed a special diet, taking pills on time, not being stressed or overworked etc. And she loved him, but she was suffering from this lifestyle of a granny when she was too young for it. So she advised harshly against this kind of relationships and pushed their daughters to date guys of their age, not to repeat her mistakes.

cowfishAreReal · 2021-06-03T04:02:43+00:00

Statistically they have a lower sucess rate. Some of them still work though

Progterrebethia · 2021-06-03T04:48:15+00:00

I'm in a LTR (coming up on the 4th year) with a girl who is 6 years younger than me (we are both in our twenties). It's working out.....so far....

Orange_Paisley · 2021-06-03T03:02:21+00:00

My sister married a man twice her age and they are still together 20 years later so I guess it can work? Mr. Paisley is 7 years older than me and the most obvious difference is the disparity in music taste though, so what do I know?

gimpgirl555 · 2021-06-03T07:32:10+00:00

Lets say a 40 years old guy marries a 20 years old. In 20 years, he will be 60 and she will be 40. 40 years old do not usually have the same energy as 60 years olds. Why would a 40 years old woman stay with grandpa when she could fuck men her own age? She will cheat. And this is the real reason why age gaps have a big divorce rate.

The kind of guy who marries a 20 year younger woman, will usually not stay with that woman once she hits 40. He will trade her in for another 20 year old.

There are guys out there who sleep around into their 70s.

move_to_alaska · 2021-06-03T03:04:57+00:00

Idk but does anyone else find it depressingly predictable that a "blue pill male" flair uses an example where a male is a creepy sexual exploiter, fails to attract his woman and then gets cucked?

Like if I was to say to OP "how come you didn't use an example of a 60 year old woman getting cheated on by her 40 year old husband" he'd probably be like "the genders don't matter it could happen to a woman too" ... but that's not the point. The point is the emotional catharsis bluepilled people get when they think of creepy, predatory MALES getting their comeuppance, in keeping with the just world fallacy.

They just love thinking about situations where men (other than themselves) are creepy assholes, and get punished by being deprived of sex or getting cucked. It's like their favorite pasttime. I can't be the only who notices this, yeah?

philomexa · 2021-06-03T03:36:44+00:00

My parents had a 25 year age gap, very happy and loving marriage. They were both tradcon catholic immigrants that greatly valued education, plus they loved/liked/enjoyed each other so it worked. My dad was also very healthy and took excellent care of himself so he could keep up with younger wife and child. Age didn't come for him until his late eighties, and by then my mom was winding down into retirement and grandmotherhood while I was already an established adult.

Anyway I know my parents marriage was exceedingly rare, and I wouldn't count on the average person successfully replicating their dynamic.

SaBahRub · 2021-06-03T03:51:09+00:00

Early widowhood, duh

reluctantly_red · 2021-06-03T07:17:04+00:00

40 years old do not usually have the same energy as 60 years olds.

As people age their health and energy levels diverge. Most 20-year-olds are fairly healthy and active. By 40 the health and activity level of many people has greatly declined. These sickly low-energy people will be even more so at 60. However, a significant portion of 40-year-olds are still high-energy and healthy. Most of these folks are still healthy and high-energy at 60.

NoBank8496 · 2021-06-03T07:18:01+00:00

20 year age gap = hypergamious relationship where divorce is the end goal

Zcuzz · 2021-06-03T05:08:23+00:00

I'm in the opposite scenario. Gf is 49, I'm 36.

Works great for us both. She can't have kids, i don't want them. She supports herself, she has expendable income, as do I.

We live apart, we have our own lives. We get together on the weekends to fuck and do our mutual hobbies together. Sometimes she goes to see her family and I'll go kick it with my friends.

She's post wall but still pretty hot. Her hypergamy is betting on my potential, while we satisfy each other sexually and I don't have to worry about her suddenly deciding she wants to "find herself" and toss our relationship aside to fuck a bunch of random strangers.

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-06-03T02:55:20+00:00

As long as the money or whatever attracted the woman in the first place stays there, the woman will too. Usually how it goes.

-Azwel- · 2021-06-03T04:32:18+00:00

Yep, the one thing I'm missing in my life is a 46 year old lady.

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-06-03T03:13:07+00:00

Well when you're talkin about that large of an age Gap, you know it's going to catch up eventually, which is why I don't advise marriage. But if you're a guy and you have the resources and options when you're in your forties, you have fun with them but don't do a lifetime commitment, and I know a lot of people have a lot of envy and love to play dick police when it comes to him but Leonardo DiCaprio does it the right way, I'm 35 right now and my girlfriend is 22, how long will we last? Who knows but we have fun with each other now which is what matters

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2021-06-03T03:17:50+00:00

I have no idea, actually.

My ex has been involved with a guy 16 years older than her for at least 15 years now. My guess is it’s because they never spend enough time around each other to allow familiarity to breed contempt.

mightfloat · 2021-06-03T03:58:08+00:00

Because he has money and she gets to live a secure life.

k995 · 2021-06-03T07:53:41+00:00

They can work, but any relationship is "work" and adding things like this just makes that harder.

nemma88 · 2021-06-03T10:40:36+00:00

They can work if they're not predatory.

Creep men
Gold diggers
The Hypogamous Brancher
Arranged Marriages
Organic

Are all mentioned, basically 4 and 5 are the best outcome options and 1-3 won't stick, some are more predatory than others and some say in the Gold diggers can be mutual exchange (Sugar babies) 'not work' and no hard feelings from it.

Haljeit · 2021-06-03T10:45:08+00:00

What doesn’t have a big divorce rate? 60 year old men can be in Much better shape than twenty year olds depending on the person. Depends. Look at Johnny depp, Tom cruise, brad Pitt are old people. Jack lalane could swim two miles at 70 while towing 70 people in 70 boats with hands and feet tied. I’ve seen on YouTube a 70 year old vet whoop the ass of a 20 something year old on a public bus. So to answer the topic question, large age gaps work by the individuals involved being the exception to the stereotype.

mindsanitizer · 2021-06-03T10:47:08+00:00

Large age gaps (say 10 years) are a good way to counteract how many women completely lose sexual function after Menopause. If the guy turns 60 by the time the woman turns 50, they will basically be on the same page (or at least will have had 10 more years of a sex life).

M4sterDis4ster · 2021-06-03T10:50:23+00:00

It really depends I think.

10 years younger girl than me is 18 year old highschooler. Maybe she looks good, but in reality, would we really have anything in common ? I wouldnt want to date highschooler for multiple reasons. She has no life experience, no political opinion outside of popular media outlets, she most likely never worked and she most likely never had any kind of obligation outside of washing the dishes or vaccuuming her room. As much as she could be intelligent, we wouldnt have anything in common. I think 10 years age gap here is what shows creepy men and insecure women with bad family relationships.

Then again, if I were 40 and lets say my girlfriend 30, the difference is a lot less noticable in many ways and this case scenario wouldnt really be a creepy guy looking at insecure woman.

I always dated younger women, but that was usually on average 4 year gap. That is also my experience among most of the couples I know, they are within 5 years age gap on average.

To me it even looks like that is the gap which is preferable by both sexes.

ArtNo6372 · 2021-06-03T11:38:53+00:00

They don't

xXx_FireHydrants_xXx · 2021-06-03T12:24:10+00:00

My parents had a roughly 25 year age gap, they stayed together until my father passed away. They had a seemingly normal relationship or at least what they showed me. However the age gap did become a problem eventually, although my father's experience with things was as asset for the family his declining overall health and slowing down with age was something that we all had to work around. As far as I know my mother never cheated, she was heavily focused on my sister and I so never bothered with those things. She is a born and raised Cuban woman, she never went off island until my father took her out. I can assume western women would not value their children enough and would just cheat for the pleasure.

rickmackdaddy · 2021-06-03T04:17:58+00:00

Why would a guy be interested in a woman his own age? Why would a woman not want an older man?

Women mature faster then men. Want to be at the same maturity level?
Men’s sexual market value peaks around 40, women’s around 24. You want to be at the same market stage?
Men are still expected to be the earner is most relationships, why wouldn’t a woman want a more solid earner?

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NTRollin · 2021-06-03T06:08:58+00:00

Why would a 40 years old woman stay with grandpa when she could fuck men her own age?

This is a nonsensical question. What's BETTER about 40 year old man than a 60 year old one? Men can fuck well into their 80s

passepar2t · 2021-06-03T06:34:15+00:00

They tend to be brief affairs.

Title	How do large age gaps work?
Author	TheBestRebirth
Upvotes	10
Comments	132
Date	June 3, 2021 2:53 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/nr375w/how_do_large_age_gaps_work/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-large-age-gaps-work.773060 https://theredarchive.com/post/773060