~ archived since 2018 ~

I don't blame women for my singleness

June 22, 2022
53 upvotes

I got rejected by 7 girls through my life and never once did I blame them, I realized they weren't compatible for me. I blame my singleness on this alienationg and isolating culture we live in. There is no way to meet women in my city, I cannot travel to other cities, broken dating apps, and other things. I wish I can change these things but it's so hard you know. Fine if I am going to be single I would still want romantic books and other forms of media to be there for me. I want to be with friends who are in relationships to make me believe young people can commit, I want to meet people who love romance gener, and people who share same values as me when it comes to romance. This what I really want.

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[–]Mrs_DrgreeWomen Are Right About Islam[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy Link

No incl content

[–]hsvgamer199Purple Pill Man 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't really blame or hate women in my case either. I just blame life in general. Life is inherently unfair. I think a lot of people have a unrealistic worldview where decent people don't end up alone.

I'm curious to see what your viewpoint will be once you reach your 30s like me. Romance seems to be your thing. In my case i focused a lot of my attention to just making money and living comfortably. That's my cope. Hopefully you'll find something.

[–]HazyMemory7 16 points17 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You seem too wholesome to be in this sub man lol. Reading your post, the part about romance in particular, reminds me of my idealistic views on love when I was younger.

I generally don't think any man should blame women for being single. What good does that do? It's more productive to take actionable steps to accomplish and attain the things you want in life. Men's spaces in the manosphere, in the context of dating, place emphasis on two things:

  1. Accepting the world for the way it is and not the way you want it to be.
  2. Becoming the best version of yourself.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I cannot accept the first premise, the world or more specific human society in this era is too cruel. I am not talking about dating I am talking about human cruelty. I want society to change I want to be part of something that can bring about meaningful change.

I am working on it, I am making a manifesto of my beliefs and values. Ever since I was in highschool I wanted to become a saint.

[–]LegaladesgensheuBlue Pill Man 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I want society to change I want to be part of something that can bring about meaningful change.

This too reminds me of my idealistic views when I was younger, lol

[–]RinoaRita 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What era are you thinking is better? I can’t think of an era that was better in terms of not being cruel to each other. People have always been the oppressor or the oppressed. If anything today is a better than the past in terms of safety and having a shot at happiness (barring traumatic things like Ukraine).

Even if we go back to caveman times, before we became a society, it was still a pretty cruel place.

[–]Mirchii 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ever since I was in highschool I wanted to become a saint.

Are you saying you wanna become a politician?

[–]neetykeeno 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

If you want to meet people online who love romance genre then I suggest finding a popular fanfic hetero pairing that you like and reading a whole lot of it, joining whatever online communities are centred round it, then eventually producing fanfic or fanart for that ship. It is a whole lot of fun, and a lot of fans are women. And it will help you understand your own romantic drives and women's romantic drives.

And don't give up the irl search. It is ok to withdraw from it a while to have a rest, but it is too early to give up altogether if you are a deeply romantic person

[–]gardenfan167[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you for your advice! How can I find these online community?

[–]343_peaches_and_teaBiromantic. -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And don't give up the irl search. It is ok to withdraw from it a while to have a rest, but it is too early to give up altogether if you are a deeply romantic person.

If it's not working, why not?

Attempting to date forever with 0 success won't lead to anything positive.

He's 23 so I don't think he should give up just yet.

But there is a point where you have to move on and do something else with your life. You can't chase after women forever.

[–]BluePearl2020 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

See the problem with the help they're trying to give you Is it's "normal people" extrovert advice. But, you're like me not as interested in superficial stuff, bookworm and introvert.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am trying to be a bookworm I used to think I was introvert but I am more comex than that I think.

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[–]PlainTundra 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hope she sees this, bro.

[–]Abstract_KnightExaggeration of misanthropy 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't either, but i think a lot of the problems that people have with incels/femcels come from the lack of social skills and their lack of knowledge about how relationships actually work.

Anyway, i hope this kind of posts ends helping someone.

[–]hemaristhysbe1 points [recovered] (7 children) | Copy Link

I want you to take classes to meet new people. Hang out with coworkers, join hobby groups, sign up for workshops at the park and art center.

Ask your friends over, invite them to run errands, go for hikes, host board game nights and cookouts. Meet up for movies or concerts, hit the farmer’s market early on weekend mornings.

Do all this with the intention of making platonic friends and see what happens as your social circle increases.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I need a job first, I have habit of giving up to quickly like I make events in discord group chat but no one shows up everyone only shows up in other events. I am trying out a new group on discord I hope it works.

[–]cptbeats 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just the fact you use discord to socialize tells me alot. Go join a gym, get a tan, get more confident and i guarantee you after 6months/1 year you will see a drastic change in your social life.

Sitting at home with your discord bros gets you no where in life, its a harsh reality, but its the truth.

[–]sniper1905 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sitting at home with your discord bros gets you no where in life, its a harsh reality, but its the truth.

The fucking truth, but you can change "with your discord bros" with anything.

Sitting at home "playing video games"

Sitting at home "watching TV and Netflix"

Sitting at home "watching content creators on YT and twitch"

Literally sitting at home is a sedation for a lot of people. Nobody thought staying at home all day, every day was healthy even 10 years ago. Crazy how things are nowadays.

[–]cptbeats 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, for me its super obvious why this guy doesent pull chicks, and its honestly scary to me how he doesent know this

[–]cel-shaded 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not OP but i did that for years and still do. I've gained a lot of what i call "light friends" - that is acquaintances which are down to do stuff, but usually with a group. Socializing made me feel better and i enjoyed the activities - from paintball to just hanging out with drinks. I have no problems talking to people, be it man or woman, and can carry myself through deeper conversations.

I can say my social circle has increased. People vaguely like me. I've been described as easygoing, funny and impossible to anger. Did that help meet with dating? No. Unfortunately, single women are rare and those that exist tend to be attracted towards men who are not short, bald(ing) and ugly.

[–]rosesonthefloor 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you have any hobbies, or play any sports? Start by joining a group that relates to your hobbies/interests and start by making friends. Widening your social circle will bring you into contact with more people who may or may not become romantic options.

Getting a job will help too - plenty of people become friends with their coworkers over time.

There are steps you can take to overcome the isolation and alienation of this society. The first step is reaching out. You got this!

[–]gardenfan167[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I am world builder and I like reading books with romance. I like animals and prehistoric animals I usually watch YouTube videos on those. I also like going to reginol parks looking for animals.

I cannot get a job yet I have to learn skills which I am too dysfunctional atm for. I am sure I have a cognitive disorder which makes reading comprehension difficult for me to do. Last time I had coworkers they were awful some where misogynistic perverts who would make me uncomfortable. I did make friends with one coworker but she ghosted me I think which does make me sad.

I am trying I joined a discord group for my area and plan to hold board game event.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you have autism? Learning disability?

What skills and education level do you have? If you feel underskilled, go back to school or vocational training. You should make not being a NEET the #1 priority. If you can't get a job, get more education or training.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have some disorder I suspect autism or ocd but I don't know. I have a bs in cognitive science. I am trying to self learn UX research.

[–]Pseudonian2 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Only seven??

I feel like you could very well have just gotten unlucky with those numbers.

Even the 'chads' can have a dry streak like that, it's all about how much you persevere and don't let the rejections get you down. If you keep failing time and time again then there's something wrong with your approach or how you present yourself.

Regardless, I feel as though you're concluding so much so quickly without just cause.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In my 23 years of life I only asked about 7 girls in total. I don't think anything is wrong with me or my approach I am just not asking the right girls. What do you mean by concluding so much so quickly?

[–]Anti_ThingChristpilled 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can relate. I'm 24 & outside of dating apps I've been rejected by 6 girls. One of them was in a relationship unbeknownst to me at the time. I asked out all but one of them in a 2 year period. For the most part I blame myself, not women as a whole.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't blame myself or women just the unfortunate circumstances we endure

[–]Hungry-Adagio2152 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Because someone who is “cold approaching” women in the street might get rejected by 7 women in one hour. To some extent, it is a numbers game and a big part of success with it is just pushing the numbers up further.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am not meeting women regularly though

[–]The_Meep_Lord -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

People do no blame women for who they are or there nature.

They get pissed at the lies they are told and such.

[–]childish_badda_bingo -5 points-4 points  (21 children) | Copy Link

How old are you? Use paragraph breaks.

Young people cannot commit because of social media and smart phones. Navigate the landscape by being popular and attractive and physically appealing.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 10 points11 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

Why does my age matter to you, you are being hostile for no reason. You could have said "hey mate you could use paragraph breaks to make it look more neat"

[–]hemaristhysbe1 points [recovered] (8 children) | Copy Link

Your post is fine.

[–]gardenfan167[S] 4 points5 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Thank you!

[–]childish_badda_bingo -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Because your age is a reflection of your concerns in life. It’s not meant as in insult and I apologize if it came off that way.

Your unhappiness is only a matter options. You feel like you can’t have romantic relationships in the way you want them or at all? If you had a romantic relationship, would that make you satisfied?

[–]cowfishAreReal 1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Not that it matters for the paragraphs, but I've seen way to many people who are way to young to say they're going to be single forever. The amount of people who never had a partner drastically decreases with age.

[–]gardenfan167[S] -1 points0 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

It doesn't matter if I remain single forever what matters is my culture persisting as long as it can so others in a better future can enjoy a healthy life long relationship

[–]cowfishAreReal -1 points0 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Why do you care about your culture persisting? You know people of lots of different cultures have healthy life long relationships right

[–]beleidigtewurst -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would still want romantic books and other forms of media to be there for me

This does not look like a text written by an honest person of male gender.

[–]Substantial_Video560 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't blame women being attracted to the top 20% of guys. I mean at the end of the day what would you prefer - the child of a god or an acne scarred artisan? That's a quote from 'The Wicker Man'. It sums it up well however. Women want the best and who can blame them.

As a guy if you can't be the best then leave the game and focus on other things in life.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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