I think women see male sexuality as inherently predatory especially any situation where a woman wants sex more than the man. This is the true source of a lot of “power dynamics” discourse.

FlyV89 · 2022-10-17T00:15:18+00:00

Women have a problem with "power imbalance" only when they are not in the recieving end of the benefits of such power, this is, enjoying a relationship with a man who's "above them" or profiting somehow from him/his power.

Women who are the most vocal about this power imbalance are, funnily enough, those who see this kind of relationships from the outside, as third (and unnecesary opinionated) individuals.

The groupie banging the rockstar, the trad wife married to a CEO, the average girl punching above her league and fucking a 10/10 in a non-monogamous, non-commited "situation", the 21 years old working class girl dating a +35 good looking, experienced and well off man, the 19 years old college girl "suggaring" from a 61 years old rich man... These women never complain about "power imbalance", such thing doesn't even exist on their dictionary, and when presented with solid evidence by their more "educated", "empowered" sisters that they are living daily situations heavily skewed to a male abussive and mysoginistic frame, they would probably jump into the square to defend these power dynamics, acussing other women of being lonely bitter and jealous ugly old hags.

Sometimes, down the road, some woman may regret some of the stuff she has done in the past, and specially if things go south and turn her life into something she wasn't really expecting she may come to the realization that, even if she wasn't abused or taken advantage of, she would have done things diferently. Absolutely. It can happen. It happen to all of us actually, men and women. Oh that feeling of "I was stupid back then, I wish I had more experience". Such is life.

But in the mean time, no.

Women absolutely enjoy power imbalances in a relationship. They just go on rants about this when they are not in such relationships.

On the other hand, yes, it's possible for a woman to feel "used", "discarded", "lead on" by men, and those feelings can easily turn into anger. And when a person is angry, revenge can become a very attractive fantasy.

This doesn't mean that the man abused the woman however, but it's absolutely possible that issues like this could arise by the mere effect of some power dynamics at play.

Basically, all relationships are transactional to a point, wether we like it or not.

Even here in the PPD and other "male spheres", power dynamics and it's extents are discussed ad infinium, often resulting in debates about how "top notch men" can get sexual access to women without offering anything more than just sex, and I believe this hold some truth.

The higher a man goes on the socioeconomic and cultural ladder, the less people, and this includes both men and women, demand from him. We don't even meassure these men the same set of rules we use when it comes to judging other average people. Our morals and ethics don't seem to apply to these men, and we sometimes make exceptions to excuse some really messed up behaviours from them.

I've seen even women saying some men couldn't have raped some girl who claimed to be a victim of abuse because "they were handsome men" and had "thousands of women throwing at them". "She absolutely wanted this, and only acussed him of rape because he rejected her after". Don't tell me you haven't seen that. We all did.

And the same way Kobey Bryan doesn't need to pay to have a nice dinner at an expensive Hollywood restaurant, the same way Leo Messi doesn't need to pay for vacations and tours around the world, the same way Christiano Ronaldo doesn't need to pay for the best clothes of the most famous and expensive fashion brands around the world (because these men are so famous, rich, loved and admired that even wealthy men would handle them their stuff for free, just to get a picture with them) the same way good looking, well off and acomplished men don't need to give women anything in return for their sex.

When presented with the opportunity of bedding a top man, most women will take it without asking for anything in return. They know the chances of him staying around are slim to none existant, but they are going to take their shots anyway. It's that or just letting the oportunity fly away.

And with the understanding that this man is an exceptional man it comes also the understanding that a woman can't demand anything from him. If she doesn't sleep with him, he's just going to move to the next woman quickly.

The woman is left with the feeling of "what do I do now? I sleep with him without asking for anything more, I play my cards and hope he commits to me? Or I let this pass and just move on with my very average life?"

Tik tok tik tok, time's running. "Ok I'm doing him. Cross fingers". And there she goes.

Can you blame her? Absolutely not.

If you were given a free lotery ticket, would you throw it to garbage just because your chances of winning the lotery are small as fuck? I don't think so.

This is the hook up culture in a nutshell. And yeah, it's a problem for men who are not at the top, but also for women who get played all the time.

But this doesn't mean that those men are "abusing" women or lying to them in any way, shape or form.

Edit: thanks for the award bro.

Laytheblameonluck · 2022-10-16T21:00:59+00:00

There's two excuses women provide for their casual sex:

It was the man's fault, or
It's none of your business.

We only ever hear of bad situations of women having groupie sex because otherwise we are told it's none of our business.

NockerJoe · 2022-10-16T20:16:39+00:00

Every so often tiktok goes nuts trying to shame high profile entertainers for this shit and it never, ever catches on. I remember back when Dan Avidan had a whole controversy that went nowhere but the whole thing took several days before people realized all he did was have conesensual sex with a woman in her 20's he met in passing when she wss 18, when it was initially presented as some sort of grooming situation.

Honestly I don't really see what the issue is. If you wanna fuck a rockstar or a DJ or whatever thats your perogative provided you're an adult. End of story. Most of the arguments against this are very obviously implying the only "good" form of sex involves monogamy through two socially approved partners and thats a bad road to go down.

I have zero desire to be a rockstar or celebrity and I genuinley don't care what they do under normal circumstances unless it impacts me. But I see a disturbing level of similarity between tiktok neopuritans and the kind of parents groups and church groups that tried to get popular music banned from radios and magazine racks in ages past. Performers have no obligation to be wholesome for you and their obligations to their fans begin and end with the law and their contracts, full stop, end of story.

hungrychick404 · 2022-10-16T18:35:21+00:00

Considering the number who have been straight-up caught with underaged fans (rip Blood on the Dancefloor, I actually liked them growing up) I think that's the most sinister part.

How different do you think a girl a day below the age of consent and a day past it look? Do you think they were vigorously background checking these girls and asking for ID to confirm they were in fact of age?

Edit: Also important to point out that "college girls" can in fact be below the age of consent. Late birthdays and skipping grades are a thing.

2022-10-16T21:31:09+00:00

Males are rapists, women have consensual sex with students. Men are predators, women are just giving men what they want.

Few_Ratio5835 · 2022-10-17T00:49:34+00:00

I thought slut shaming was wrong, but I guess you can slut shame rock stars.

women don't want to be held accountable for their actions. So rockstars having sex with their fans is predatory because women think later it was a mistake.

anonymousUser1SHIFT · 2022-10-16T17:40:18+00:00

If a man is getting sex outside of a committed relationship with a woman, then he is somehow harming them.

I think this can actually be expanded to be

"If a man wants sex outside of a committed relationship with a woman, then he is somehow wanting to harm them."

warramite · 2022-10-17T03:56:22+00:00

Women are creeped out by men they deem to be below their level, its that simple

If she hates your guts, saying hi is sexual assault.. if your high value, you can kiss her and she'll laugh it off and say "He's just confident, he knows what he wants!"

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-10-16T18:10:53+00:00

If the girls understand what they’re there to do and they’re excited about it that’s one thing. But I can totally see a shy 18/19 yo naively walking into this situation with no idea what she’s gotten into until it’s too late, and then not wanting to disappoint her idol or say no.

My opinion on this stuff is that male sexuality is inherently predatory, but in a discovery channel sort of way. They can’t help it. The world will keep turning.

JumboJetz · 2022-10-16T17:51:11+00:00

I have zero interest in defending the rights of rock stars to fuck their fans or make it even easier on celebrities to fuck their fans.

Men - sometimes we fight the wrong battles. OP you are fighting the wrong battle. Frankly I think it’s good for men as a whole if wealthy celebrities get shamed away from having giant harems of women and called predatory.

OwOFemboyUwU · 2022-10-17T02:42:46+00:00

I think women see male sexuality as inherently predatory

In other news, water is wet. Women are not attracted to most men, so the dynamic women perceive to be between women and most men (the exception being the "chads" - who women are actually attracted to) basically becomes that between the woman and a skeevy salesman trying anything in his hand, honest/moral or not, to try and "cheat" women out of their sex. In that view, male sexuality is exploitative because it tries to get the best possible deals on sex, basically.

NationalistGoy · 2022-10-17T13:33:26+00:00

she described with the same tone as a pedophile handing out candy at a playground

These comparisons to pedophilia doesn't help anybody. If everything is borderline pedophilia, then there is a chance REAL pedophilia won't be noticed when it actually occurs.

It does not compare to pedophilia when some rock artists/musicians offer college aged women a change to have sex with them.

Don’t get me wrong, real power imbalances are an issue.

In a relationship one person will always have more power than the other. Men have more power in some regards and women have more power in other regards.

AstronautLoveShack · 2022-10-16T20:40:57+00:00

I would not use rock stars and groupies for your evidence. Rock stars have been notorious for fucking underage girls. Who cares if it is “consensual” - it is statutory rape.

See: Jimmy Page, Ted Nugent, Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Don Henley, R Kelly, and so on and so forth.

lovelythecove · 2022-10-17T00:15:50+00:00

Was this TikTok related at all to Bassnectar? Bc he’s got a lot going on right now in terms of being predatory with underage girls, same for a few other EDM artists, so it’s a hot topic in the EDM community.

It’s also worth noting that when it comes to backstage events and rockstars and DJs, etc., there’s often drugs involved, which inherently compromise consent. So theoretically, yes, everyone’s of age and consenting, it should be fine. But when you know your fans are molly munchers, it adds a new layer to how “consensual” a sexual interaction can be if you’re letting them backstage already high.

Flightlessbirbz · 2022-10-16T18:34:11+00:00

It’s not a power imbalance in quite the same way as a boss or teacher, but it absolutely can be predatory nonetheless. You might think these girls know 100% what’s going on, but they often don’t. Some want to fuck said rockstar, some just think it’s cool they’re getting to meet and party with him, maybe they’re hoping for the chance to be in a video or something, but then if he pushes for sex, there’s a lot of pressure for her not to be a “prude” and reject someone she idolizes. And when you’re talking a really wealthy famous rockstar, he’s going to be protected even if he rapes someone or one of these girls is underage. Which is extremely common, and why I do think male sexuality is inherently predatory if not controlled by laws and morality. Almost all men who think they can get away with it, do this shit.

bunnakay · 2022-10-16T19:15:31+00:00

You don't need to cite rockstars. Just look at the way trying to have sex with a woman is discussed in this sub (see: the fish analogy).

Jim_sell · 2022-10-16T22:29:28+00:00

"Power dynamic" is a meaningless phrase coined by university academics in subjects that don't matter in the world (gender studies, sociology, women's literature, indigenous studies etc.)

The reaction you're talking about comes from mentally ill losers that nobody likes in real life. Notice they always have kpop or anime profile pictures despite being grown adults.

RocinanteCoffee · 2022-10-16T21:41:14+00:00

Firstly, please do not take any life advice or anecdotes at face value on Tik Tok, for the love of pizza.

Also, plenty of college girls are underage (I was 17 my first year of college), where are you seeing that it was definitely consensual among adults?

I don't think sex is inherently predatory. Only rape is inherently predatory and rape is not the same as sex in the same way that being jumped and mugged isn't the same as scheduling a sparring match with someone at the local ring.

I think the rockstar situation isn't the best example except that rockstars have a history (in some cases) of raping underage and (again some college girls are minors) recruited and brought back to their dressing rooms. Being locked in a private room behind security with someone surrounded by yes men and lawyers can be intimidating, but is much more nuanced because a rockstar won't usually have say over your job or your education or your sports scholarship like an executive at work or a professor or a coach would.

Historical-System972 · 2022-10-17T02:54:41+00:00

>especially any situation where a woman wants sex more than the man.

This literally never happens. Feel free to sperg out at me in the replies if you want, but you know I'm right.

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kinhk · 2022-10-17T00:19:02+00:00

By that logic anyone can "affect" your life if you say no. Boss and cop are the only two legitimate power imbalances, the rest are just excuses for women who don't want to be held accountable. Not only that, but we gonna sit here and act like women of all ages don't prefer men with power and status!

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-10-16T19:03:53+00:00

Straight up: how are average dudes not understanding the one in 1 billion exception that famous rock stars and celebrities are?! Do people think that the world is nothing but celebrities and them?

_demidevil_ · 2022-10-16T20:40:12+00:00

Power over someone means you can manipulate them for your own gain. These young fans are much more likely to engage in risk taking behaviour and things they wouldn’t otherwise be doing.

nemma88 · 2022-10-17T09:23:46+00:00

I think women see male sexuality as inherently predatory

As do men. Especially the manosphere where sex is something to be taken from women and damages her.

Its the logical conclusion from historic relations between genders. Things like the push for drunken sex to be frowned on in campuses comes from the deliberate strategy of getting girls drunk for the purpose of lowering inhabitations for sex. While this is history for the younger folk the way of the world was such The Red Pill didn't think Weinstein did anything wrong (at the time), nor did most of his colleagues while it was happening. Marital rape wasn't a crime until the 90's in the UK.

vogel777 · 2022-10-17T00:05:09+00:00

There is an imbalance and it is exploitation. These men use, young, naive girls for sex, its vile, predatory behaviour.

prizefighterstudent · 2022-10-17T00:21:15+00:00

The terms of the game have changed. Adult women are liberated, educated individuals who can make up their own minds and choose freely. Men will abide by these rules, confirm consent, and treat women with basic human dignity.

Dudes need to play by the rules, treat women with respect, and stop caring about what Internet people say about these topics. A 40 year-old with an 18-year old is quite ridiculous in my mind, but there's a lot more nuance in everyone's lives that can't be accounted for with these maxims.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-10-17T02:07:03+00:00

Well men are the primary pursuers so there is kind of a predator and pray aspect in general, I just don't look at the term "predator" as inherently a bad thing, just nature

As far as the power and balance thing, that's just the term that you see a lot of women use to try and absolve responsibility for whose dick they hop on

And the last point it's somebody on tik tok, that place is just a breeding ground for that woke mental illness, I'm not going to get political but I think our 45th president was focused on deporting the wrong people haha

lostacoshermanos · 2022-10-17T02:09:15+00:00

Tik tok is fake

ShoCkEpic · 2022-10-17T02:25:05+00:00

believe me… being some teacher in foreign country and i m not that ugly … i had some girls as young as 14 years old told me straight they wanted to get it on with me… not just one, and when it s past 16 it s just dumb…

this-is-very · 2022-10-17T02:34:55+00:00

I think this power imbalance argument is not rational, but doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Humans are social animals with hierarchies. Lots of time has passed, we think of us as liberal and enlightened, but having sex with an equivalent of the chief’s daughter or an aristocrat when you’re a commoner is perceived as something not ordinary and boundary breaking, for monkey brain reasons.

alphasupremacy5555 · 2022-10-17T03:12:41+00:00

Only a man hating feminist thinks male sexuality is inherently predatory. If there's no drugs and alcohol involved, there's no coercion, it isn't being forced, there's no blackmail involved then it's not predatory. The only other examples of male sexuality being predatory is illegally grown man wanting to have sex underage girls. That's pedophilia. But what'll happen is a woman will consent to having sex with a man and then turn around and said that he sexually prayed on her or in other words he raped her. Women lie about being raped alot. Me too movement only enhanced the awareness of false rape accusations.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-10-17T15:23:47+00:00

Age. Fame. Being fed shots and possibly drugs. What could possibly go wrong.

FancyComfortable4678 · 2022-10-17T17:08:01+00:00

> Is there a power imbalance between a rock star and their fan?

obviously?

Oh. I guess you disagree somehow.

RedPill115 · 2022-10-17T19:13:30+00:00

Women find power imbalance sexy.

There used to be a saying, men want women visually better looking than themselves, women want men who are socially better off than themselves.