If a woman stops sleeping with you she lost her attraction/respect for you and you should leave her

sublimemongrel · 2020-05-21T00:21:29+00:00

Are you factoring anything here related to the man or is he and his behavior irrelevant to this post? Point being, I don’t think anyone will CYV because it’s obvious if the attraction is gone forever the relationship has failed and I don’t think anyone here is gonna disagree with that.

OTOH are you envisioning that this hypothetical man has actually put forth some effort to maintain attraction and tend to his wife’s needs? Is he still providing some level of romance, making her feel sexy, not letting himself go, etc? Because the only way I could potentially CYV is to say if he stopped putting forth effort maybe he should give that a go before he just up and leaves, especially if they are married.

tritoneharmonies · 2020-05-21T02:04:45+00:00

Yeah, no lies detected here. It is actually pretty rare to have a fully dead bedroom out of any other reason than the end of attraction. I personally wouldn't be able to force myself to have sex with a person I wasn't attracted to or in love with, and it's actually mentally unhealthy to do so - as is unhealthy to live in an utterly sexless union. People don't want to say it like it is because it can't be said in a way that isn't particularly harsh. Whether she's staying out of convenience, preparing to break up or already cheating, depends on her morality alone (and it's entirely possible that she has either a dark side or an unresolved issue you're not aware of).

My only useful piece of advice on how to avoid being the cause of this? Keep romancing and seducing her. Why? Because she's worth your attention. You chose her. Take that energy and pour it into her whenever she misses it. Take care of her as a whole like a precious garden but also, linger in that garden with her, enjoy it with her, explore it again and again. You'll find this very easy, if not addictive, if you're actually attracted to her and she will respond to this well no doubt and give you lots of herself and her affection in return, if she's attracted to you as well. If it all fails despite every effort? Then you've made your effort and it isn't on you, so no need to feel guilt or shame when you know you've done everything as a partner, a lover and a husband. Sometimes things fail for reasons that don't depend on you or your performance.

2LitreBugattiBieber · 2020-05-21T00:24:12+00:00

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Kaywin · 2020-05-21T17:40:50+00:00

What the cinnamon toast fuck is this logic.

My partner and I have gone through dry spells for months at a time before, because one or both of us is depressed, our life circumstances are stressing us out, etc. This is the same person who asked me to marry her this weekend. She’s pretty obviously still into me, lol.

And in certain cases a person will shy away from sex if they become insecure about their performance, for example.

In my opinion it’s pretty self-important and presumptuous to assume that a person’s lack of interest has anything to do with you directly. There are any number of factors that affect sexual interest and libido. At least talk to your damn partner about it before ending the relationship over something that may be easily fixable.

sarbearsunbear · 2020-05-21T00:09:05+00:00

Hmmm I think sexless relationships are not particularly healthy. Some women as they age start to find sex uncomfortable or their hormones change-but the couple might really love each other and I know some people who have an open relationship where the man has a person on the side (like seeking arrangements). Otherwise yeah I kind of agree it’s awkward to not be physically attracted to someone you care about but it’s probably the right thing to break it off instead of lie that you’re still attracted and make excuses. I wonder though, how many women in this kind of situation just get bored of mediocre sex where they aren’t having orgasms? A LOT of women sadly don’t communicate or ask their partners for what they want so I bet unfulfilling sex just gets old for them after the honeymoon phase...

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-20T23:28:16+00:00

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obvi_imnicklachey · 2020-05-21T00:11:20+00:00

It could just as easily be that she’s overworked and too tired (I.e. with a guy that leaves her with all chores and child rearing). Female sexuality is highly reactive. Treat your wife like a live in maid and cook if you like, just be ready for her libido you shoot towards hell and for her to gain 100 lbs.

Yes, some women lose attraction, but just as often, it’s likely that the man is actively contributing to the reasons why her sex drive has fallen.

redcbdit · 2020-05-21T02:36:03+00:00

I agree with this under one notion: you (as the man) is the best that you can be today and are continuing to better yourself each day, period.

With that said, if you are still not getting any sex then there is a problem. When a woman loses respect for you then the next thing that goes is sex. She will begin to view you as not "worthy" of fucking. Women in their own warped sense-of-mind won't fuck losers and if you end up in the loser-category then all hope is lost.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-20T23:38:11+00:00

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mandoa_sky · 2020-05-21T01:28:01+00:00

depression and times of high stress always kills libido

quokkita · 2020-05-21T02:45:31+00:00

isn't this true regardless of gender?

strexxa · 2020-05-21T14:16:07+00:00

I tend to agree on the attraction part (don't know about leaving tho), and it's valid in both ways.

Sex has usually been the 'litmus paper' of all my relationships: whenever intimacy has been good and frequent, usually everything else just fell into place in some way (I am not saying that was a consequence, but there surely is a correlation).

Whenever sex wasn't good, it led to bad news.

Tavarshio · 2020-05-21T16:16:38+00:00

To be fair, she doesn't owe you sex. But you do indeed have the right to leave the relationship if that's what you feel like doing. Sometimes feelings change and to quote Seinfeld:

"It's not you, it's me."

It's important to recognize that people will go through all kinds of mental gymnastics to avoid guilt. Especially when it comes to dating and sex. They lose interest, they feel guilty, but they blame you for it because that way they don't feel obligated to sleep with you. More often than not, the harder you try to please them, the more desperate you seem to them and the less interested they are. This works with women too! Some women try too hard to satisfy their man and he ends up leaving her for another woman.

I am getting sick to death of all the dumb females trying to put the blame on the guy. AFAIC, if you decide not to sleep with me and you blame me for it, I will REFUSE to accept the blame for your actions and hold you accountable for your decision. That is what a person with self-respect does.

RedPill_is_a_cult · 2020-05-21T01:15:08+00:00

Seems like if sex stops, where there was once a healthy sexual relationship, that might indicate a deeper problem. As for what one 'should' do as a response, I would posit that if your go to move is to just leave her, you probably weren't that invested in her to begin with, so the relationship was doomed to fail anyway.

Sex is one form of expression of intimacy. If all intimacy stops, maybe try to figure out why, and go from there? In the first year of my marriage, my wife's mother was diagnosed with an early onset of dementia. Her libido nose dived for months while she dealt with this grief. What did we do? We went to couples counseling, and I supported her the best I could, knowing that her lack of sexual desire wasn't a reflection on her lack of investment in our marriage.

People's libidos can cycle. Mine does. I don't really see this as a big deal.

If a woman is never in the mood, and the attraction is gone on her end, maybe ask why? Is there anything you did, or stopped doing, that led to this point? Relationships require maintenance, if you don't keep up with that, they're going to deteriorate, and not perform as well.

And yes, people will communicate when there is a breakdown in the relationship. Whether that communication is received and understood and acted upon is another matter. This is kinda one of those things where the saying 'Pay attention to what women do, not what they say' will bite redpillers in the ass. Usually, from what I see, women will verbally communicate about what is bothering them in the relationship long before their behavior changes.

So if a guy's wife spends years asking him to pick up his dirty laundry, or whatever, but still fucks him, but one day decides she's fed up with it and stops, don't put on the surprised pikachu face about how this came out of the blue, and he had no idea why she 'suddenly' lost attraction for him.

relish5k · 2020-05-21T00:10:45+00:00

Well if you stop romancing her, she'll probably stop fucking you. You need to date your spouse if you want the sexy times to roll.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-20T23:26:22+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-20T23:58:18+00:00

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retal1ator · 2020-05-21T05:03:17+00:00

I don't know how anyone could disagree with this.

2020-05-21T05:43:05+00:00

or....here me out, life takes them in a different path, and need to focus on bigger matters than sex (job, school, move away, get into a serious relationship)

but a level of maturity is needed on both parties. also, there had to be an agreement at the beginning to only be fuck buddies or friends with benefits.

all these being said, if in a serious relationship, engaged, married, either party can refuse sex at any point. and then engage in a conversation on the matter you know, like adults.

harpybitch · 2020-05-21T17:26:52+00:00

really? there is nothing else a woman can do to show respect? you’re all perverts lol.

coolerdrop57156 · 2020-05-22T08:50:47+00:00

And if a woman stops replying to your messages than she is talking to chad

Sid_Insidious · 2020-05-21T00:57:35+00:00

EPIC TRUTH BOMB RANT:

TLDR; if the sex stops, it's basically over. What's your next move champ?

Now on with the epic rant...

If it's no sex ALL THE TIME, or even just "once per month ovulation sex":

- She's either lost attraction for you, gained attraction for someone else, or both.

- Once a woman loses attraction or respect for a man (or both) he's done. It's over.

- If this (no sex) has happened and you're not married, leave.

- If this (no sex) has happened and you ARE married call a divorce lawyer immediately.

If she wants RELATIONSHIP or MARRIAGE counselling, she doesn't want to to fix the relationship or marriage - she just wants her 'did everything I could to save my relationship/marriage' scouts badge. This helps later with guilt feelings, especially if she's blowing up a marriage in a Frivorce^tm and there are children involved. Most times when she plays the counselling card it's for her own mental assurance and the relationship is already over. If your wife wants to see a marriage counselor, call a divorce lawyer before you book the counselling appointment.

Now, if it IS cheaper to keep her, you then have to decide: if you want to live with your "room mate" and get your sexual desires/needs met through porn or affairs, that's one route. The only up-shot is if a divorce is inevitable, no-fault divorce works in your favor here a bit, because if she can cheat, well, theoretically so can you. That is, of course, until she uses your affair to demean your character and try to use it to prove you're an UNFIT FATHER in court, so she can get full custody and MAXDOLLAR$.

But rest assured. If she's not sleeping with you, you're not a viable sex partner anymore. Look in the mirror. Do you look the same as you did when she met you? Or are you the emodiment of sloth, with a big gut and trigglypuff arm skin?

Relationships are not for better or for worse. Ever. Men in particular are not off the hook when she moves in or vows are said. ***You're still in competition with other men.*** First, you competed to get her to stay, and NOW you're competing so she doesn't leave. If you think exclusive relationship status with a woman means you're done competing, well, you're already on your way out the door.

Women leave the relationship/marriage emotionally and spiritually 18-24 months BEFORE they drop the D-Bomb. And they slowly withdraw - which is why MOST men never see it coming.

They have to keep the sucker they have now on the hook as long as possible while they secure job, resources, social connections and other supports. When she is 100% confident she can fly on her own, only then will he get the news.

Never marrying or moving in with a woman is the only surefire way to prevent this from happening.

Hypergamy doesn't stop with house keys or vows. It's just beginning, fellas.

Besides, If you want to remain in perpetual competition with other men, why not just stay single, compete with other men, and enjoy your natural proclivity for variety.

ohhh_taylor · 2020-05-21T00:05:27+00:00

I think that’s a big clue but not true for all women, so you should just have that as a red flag. As an example look for other indications like being more snappy or nonchalant along with the no sex as your decision to leave her as.

EmilyG702 · 2020-05-21T02:55:37+00:00

Or you can make your woman feel sexy and wanted and perhaps sex can happen. I’m just saying as a woman. 🙂

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-21T00:06:18+00:00

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littlpeach · 2020-05-21T15:57:26+00:00

I was just on r/AskWomen and the question was “Why have you stopped having sex with your SO?”. Many women mentioned they are no longer attracted to their SO, for various reasons. Many women said they lost their attraction for their SO, but didn’t want to leave them because they still have love for them. Some women stopped sex because of lack of foreplay and intimacy, and their partner didn’t want to fix the issue, which resulted in a dead bedroom. Or the women may feel like her sexual needs aren’t being met, which will cause her to halt the sex because it is no longer enjoyable to her. There are so many reasons for sex to stop. Sometimes, what’s lacking is the affection. With every individual women, she’s going to have personal needs that need to be addressed in the same way- individually. If the sex stops- communicate! If the affection stops- communicate! If the sex and affection stop and she won’t communicate? Then yeah, probably time to go.

MikepGrey · 2020-05-21T00:35:32+00:00

Ya, if you suck at sex or just are not doing it for her she wont give it. When I see that I send em on their way as I actually know what I am doing in the bed room.... Fun Facts

When I am working out and 165 pounds of muscle, girls drool when they see me... when I drop down to 145, these same girls even if they are living with me... no sex, no interest, don't even want to talk to me... so stay in shape and back it up with a kick ass personality and awesome sex... but you have to stay... in... shape....

Thetrvler · 2020-05-21T03:34:09+00:00

I do the same with women. I’m doing this with one now. It definitely happens both ways.

2020-05-21T13:24:19+00:00

People on average stop having sex for 2 years after a new baby (average), so that's a lot of broken home's.

Yu-Gi-OhMishima · 2020-05-21T19:35:55+00:00

Premarital sex is bad though, and if you have it you'll probably get divorced

Pushing__Daisies · 2020-05-22T00:31:50+00:00

Szzz

jackandjill22 · 2020-05-22T15:45:31+00:00

Yep.

yoitsdavid · 2020-05-22T15:52:14+00:00

Not... always. Asexuality is one thing, as some people don’t like that stuff. But sometimes, people don’t always want sex. I could never imagine having sex several times a month or something like that. I understand what you mean though

2020-05-21T04:05:14+00:00

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Mimoxs · 2020-05-21T00:34:45+00:00

9 times out of 10 the dude is directly contributing to the lack by being a jerk to her, so

Also could be that she never liked sex, and is just tired of pretending/faking it, doing so for so long would eventually just drag you down

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wtknight · 2020-05-21T00:30:04+00:00

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Tkuhug · 2020-05-21T04:52:13+00:00

This is actually true for me. Resentment, lack of excitement, a man’s worth all factor in here.

When I want guys I actually will do the chasing/initiation.

bionix90 · 2020-05-21T13:57:10+00:00

I disagree. I think you should consider leaving not just if the sex stops but even if it slows down. I get into a relationship with a certain expectation of the frequency of how often we will get physical. If that is not met or if it goes below what is expected, I am no longer satisfied with the relationship.

Appomattoxx · 2020-05-20T23:35:02+00:00

If you married and made vows "for better or worse" then you should stay.

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-05-21T00:05:46+00:00

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n0goingback · 2020-05-21T00:37:03+00:00

Sex is NOT equivalent to respect and sometimes it's not even about attraction. Think about it do you respect every women you ever slept with or even thought about sleeping with? I'm going to bet the answer is no. If she has her eyes closed the entire time or insists on only doing positions that face away from you she was never really interested anyway just using you as human sex toy I'm evolved enough as a women to admit that.

Sometimes women need to withhold sex as a power play to change men's attitudes especially if the man thinks they are entitled to sex whenever they want it. Another factor is some women need to be in the right mindset for sex, if there is constant fighting and then you throw the she isn't putting out it's going to be even longer until you get some buddy. Also she may just not be into your sex style. If your really rough or into BDSM sex might be a turn off cause she feels like she can't enjoy herself. Is your women getting off MULTIPLE times when your being intimate? If she isn't getting off she should have already left your ass.

Are you trying to charm her and take her out on actual dates or do you think boning is equivalent to a relationship? If you believe the latter you don't deserve a relationship; take her out and make her feel special maybe then you would be worthy of sex again. Another thing you need to take into consideration is the relationship already failing causing the lack of sex? If that's the case work on the relationship to make her remember why she is with you and the intamacy will follow suit.

The much better question I have is why is it only if the woman is disinterested in sex? What does it mean if a man withholds sex for months? Honestly I am a woman and I have never had to use this tactic bit at least 3 exes have withheld sex from me for weeks/months. I really think women are hornier then guys we want 3-5 rounds in a day but most guys can only go 2 but we are lucky to even get one 🙄

lbjefferies237 · 2020-05-21T02:44:02+00:00

OOORRRR you could get back into shape and earn some of that respect and attraction back...

PrettyBarbiePerson · 2020-05-21T09:35:44+00:00

Autism levels are at an all time high

Sir what do we do?! What do he do!??!

ABORT IT!! ABORT IT!!!

But it just made a post on Reddit, isn’t that murder?!

I SAID KILL THE FUCKING RETARD

Title	If a woman stops sleeping with you she lost her attraction/respect for you and you should leave her
Author	CommanderOfTheDeath
Upvotes	272
Comments	428
Date	May 20, 2020 11:24 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/gnli0a/if_a_woman_stops_sleeping_with_you_she_lost_her/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-a-woman-stops-sleeping-with-you-she-lost-her.666343 https://theredarchive.com/post/666343