If porn is bad because it desensitizes men, then vibrators are also bad because it desensitizes women

Mrs_Drgree · 2021-01-08T10:43:08+00:00

This thread has been retagged as a CMV.

GGMcThroway · 2021-01-08T04:54:49+00:00

Physical desensitization is different from mental desensitization. The former sucks, but it's not too hard to undo (though it's tedious). The latter is the bigger problem with porn because it can warp men's (and women's) perception of what normal sex it if they go at it too much.

That being said, I wouldn't say porn itself is the problem so much as parents sticking their kids in front of a screen to let the internet raise them instead of making any actual effort to explain how sex works themselves.

RRBeachFG2 · 2021-01-08T08:58:59+00:00

I bet more women watch porn than men use vibrators.

funlightmandarin · 2021-01-08T04:45:24+00:00

You can get nerve damage from excessive vibration. Haven't seen it linked with vibrator-use though, only long-term power tool usage.

I think death-grip and porn-induced ED are much more common problems.

Anyways, sex is way better than toys. If I'd rather masturbate with toys than have sex, the sex is lousy.

CryptographerTough77 · 2021-01-08T07:28:56+00:00

Porn is fine, Vibrators are fine, imo it's when they become a substitute for, or interfere with real relationships that the problem begins.

Watch porn, but don't expect people to act like porn stars, use your toys but don't expect every orgasm to be as good as the ones the toy specifically designed to make you come hard gives you.

GridReXX · 2021-01-08T10:30:15+00:00

This doesn’t feel accurate. I wasn’t able to achieve an orgasm until I tried a vibrator. It wasn’t like I was having all this orgasm generating sex and then started using a vibrator and now can only orgasm with the vibrator.

Flawed logic. Stop thinking you can layer men’s issues onto women.

Eastuss · 2021-01-08T06:37:16+00:00

[deleted]

lyssiemiller · 2021-01-08T06:02:07+00:00

Personally, I hate toys. I’d definitely rather have a man on top of me. Toys could never be as good or better than a man. It’s that warmth and connection I feel with a man that I crave. The fact that he can give me an orgasm is just the icing on the cake. Pun intended.

tututut56 · 2021-01-08T06:28:24+00:00

I disagree entirely. Porn messes with you psychologically, it warps your perception of reality and women. You can read r/NoFap and see just how it messes with people’s minds. Not only does it do that, it also can lead some people down a path of increasing deviation, where they are progressively desensitized to more and more intense imagery and need to watch increasingly fucked up things, but it’s even led some people to consume illegal content.

I’m not sure a vibrator has that potential, especially not to cause the same level of damage mentally. Masturbation on its own isn’t as bad as porn combined with masturbation, which is essentially what using a vibrator would be. A man could use a sex you equivalent, with no porn, and it would be equal to a woman using a vibrator. It’s not messing with you psychologically, it’s not turning you off of ‘normal everyday men’ the way that porn makes some men literally incapable of being with a real woman. It’s just a different experience - which you could say porn is also just a different experience. As far as I know vibrators also don’t lead to health issues for women (I’m sure you could find some cases) but there are men in their 20’s suffering from porn induced ED now. In their TWENTIES. That’s insanity.

Porn is probably never going away, but just like with anything else in life moderation is key and sadly a lot of people go far beyond the point of moderation with porn (there are women in r/NoFap too) and that’s when it becomes a problem and it’s just sad that it’s all so accessible now so younger people are being exposed to it way more leading to all sorts of issues.

Whisper · 2021-01-08T06:32:38+00:00

Toys and porn are scapegoats, not the problem.

NarrowLiterature7322 · 2021-01-08T14:29:16+00:00

Nope, porn is porn. Vibrators are more akin to masturbation in general

spacechicken1990 · 2021-01-08T06:32:02+00:00

If female toys where as bad where are the 1000s of women getting sexual dysfunction from it like there are men? Where is the female equivalent of death grip? Or ED?

allthewaywithamyk · 2021-01-08T07:24:11+00:00

You say you’d like to hear a woman’s perspective then basically just tell them they’re wrong.

An orgasm from a vibrator straight up feels completely different but not BETTER than an orgasm from PIV sex or oral sex. It’s like the difference between getting your back scratched and getting a massage. They are both equally enjoyable. Getting massages doesn’t desensitize the feeling of a back scratch. Hope that makes sense.

rellik13xx · 2021-01-08T04:55:58+00:00

You're comparing apples and oranges using broken and biased logic. Porn is overwhelmingly harmful to everyone; the consumers (men and women), the actors (men and women), producers, etc. Is there harm in using vibrators? Of course, nothing comes without it's fair share of risks. Maybe nerve damage, desnsitation in some form. I dunno I haven't researched it. Point is, you are wrong, but not in the way you think you are.

Alexej0213 · 2021-01-08T08:10:11+00:00

Am I the only person thats never heard of "death grip" and "ED" before? Can someone pls explain to me what they mean.

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Willow-girl · 2021-01-08T13:10:52+00:00

Vibrators just speed things up a bit. I like to cut to the chase here; I got stuff to do!

wtknight · 2021-01-08T13:19:12+00:00

Porn isn’t that bad in and of itself if it’s responsibly created porn and no laws are broken. It’s men being addicted to it or binging on it that is bad. Similarly, if a woman were addicted to her vibrator that would be a bad thing too. However, from most of the stories I’ve heard about women and their sex toys (I’ve never dated a woman who has used them), the vast majority of women are not addicted to their sex toys like how men get addicted to their porn and these women only use their toys more as a “hobby” rather than as an addiction.

I also think that women don’t like it when men get unrealistic expectations about sex after watching too much porn. Maybe some women might get unrealistic expectations about how fast a guy should be able to make her orgasm after she uses sex toys consistently, but there’s nothing preventing a guy augmenting his own sexual ability with a sex toy if that would make a woman happier. And this doesn’t bother most guys. On the contrary, they often enjoy it. On the other hand, women don’t usually enjoy men expecting them to act like porn actresses.

mistresswhat · 2021-01-08T20:39:16+00:00

Neither one is bad. "Porn addiction" is vastly overblown AT BEST and r/nofap is full of crazies. Vibrators are lovely. Calm down.

Mimoxs · 2021-01-08T05:05:00+00:00

Vibrators don't desensitize you.

Coming from someone who has a lot of experience in these things, from all the kid years of masturbating with my hands and then getting a vibe when I became an adult, I have experienced no loss of sensitivity. It's actually much easier to get off with my own fingers, imo, and they have less powerful stimulation.

The only desensitization you may get is very briefly post-orgasm you can feel a little numb anywhere from 10 seconds to a minute, but that's about it.

It's probably possible to cause nerve damage with some very extreme toys, but not ones the average woman is going to be owning. If there's any damage done by my toys, it's not any damage my own fingers wouldn't have also done, so.

Shirley_Schmidthoe · 2021-01-08T05:12:04+00:00

Practically every modern man watches porn and practically every modern woman has a vibrator/toy.

I'm pretty sure there are more modern females that watch porn than that have a vibrator.

Vibrators are kind of rare compared to watching porn.

I agree that porn is bad for young men because it desensitizes them

I don't, nor do I consider it a problem if individuals become more desensitized to sex—like, what's the problem with that?

Maybe the reason I'm so unintrested in real life sex is simply because all that far-out pornographic stuff that exists is simply far more interesting because it can do things can't ever exist in real life or would be dangerous to lethal, and then what? what's the problem with that?

I have no problem with porn and sex toys, and I have no problem with human beings becoming less interested in sex.

infernalwretch · 2021-01-08T04:59:27+00:00

If vibrators are bad, men’s hands are bad too.

jjlew922 · 2021-01-08T05:16:54+00:00

These 2 things are so incomparable it’s mind boggling to even consider so let’s just keep to science ....no studies done proving vibrators increase the grey matter in the brain to make one more dumb unlike porn, so let’s just stick to that. No, just no, lmao 😆

JohnDoe721 · 2021-01-08T04:47:47+00:00

No. Its only bad when men do it.

And don't forget using oversized dildos give women unreasonable expectations about men and should be banned

2021-01-08T06:37:06+00:00

Massage therapists haven't gone out of business because decent self-massagers have entered the market.

More women watch porn than own a vibrator, though. Don't get why you are making these comparisons, either; a more logical comparison is a pocket pussy/vibrator. Vibrators don't really desensitize you in the sense you're describing.

I don't think porn is the issue inherently, neither is masturbation. But if you're a nofap guy I think we differ on that perspective.

wtknight · 2021-01-08T10:13:19+00:00

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wtknight · 2021-01-08T12:13:03+00:00

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mydikishomofobik · 2021-01-08T13:37:23+00:00

I agree that porn is bad for young men because it desensitizes them

Why is porn bad for young men? First women and male feminist or tradcon white knight men complain all the time about men being rapists, creepy, unwanted attention, sexual harassment, metoo, etc. But then they also complain when men gratify themselves without bothering anyone else:

"Go away creepy rapists creeper sexual harasser. Stop harassing women! Leave women alone!"

"Noooooooooo, stop jacking off to porn and ignoring women! Pay attention to meeeeeeeeeee!"

DarthCach · 2021-01-08T16:23:55+00:00

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/overusing-vibrator-sensitivity#The-answer?-No,-your-vibe-isnt-going-to-wreck-your-V

“It’s a complete myth that you can desensitize your vagina or clitoris from using a vibrator,” says Dr. Carolyn DeLucia, FACOG, who’s based in Hillsborough, New Jersey."

"In fact, contrary to the beliefs of vibrator alarmists, there was overwhelming evidence that vibrator use contributed to positive outcomes. These included:

orgasm
increased lubrication
decreased pain
a greater likelihood of seeking gynecological checkups"

Do your research next time, OP.

DXBrigade · 2021-01-08T17:55:28+00:00

Vibrators aren't nearly as common.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2021-01-08T18:19:12+00:00

Yes, technically and OSHA actually has regulations that limit construction workers on how long they can use tools that have vibration, because numerous workers were losing sensation in their hands because the constant vibration was killing their nerve cells.

However I disagree that vibrators are the equivalent to porn for men.

Romance media is porn form women - it’s the standard by which they judge man’s treatment of them, it dictates what their standards are. Watch the movie Don Jon to get a better idea of what I’m talking about.

superlurkage · 2021-01-08T20:31:16+00:00

If it’s affecting your partner (or anyone else, really), it’s a problem. There are two people in the relationship, after all

octocombo · 2021-01-08T20:41:59+00:00

Differences between porn and vibrators that are relevant to the enjoyment a person who uses them gets out of partnered sex:

A partner can use a vibrator on you during partnered sex to achieve the same effect as using the vibrator on your own, without preventing the actions typical in partnered sex (e.g., you can have PiV sex in whatever position you want and at whatever pace you want while holding a vibe on the clit, you can receive oral with a vibe inserted, or you can give a BJ with a vibe anywhere). If you need to use porn during partnered sex to climax, you're restricted in that you have to be able to watch it (making it much more difficult to kiss a partner, use any face-to-face sex position, or give your partner oral). So while the vibrator can be used as a supplement to whatever kind of partnered sex you were going to have anyway, while porn use during partnered sex requires physical accommodations.
When you're watching porn, you are looking at (and presumably thinking about) another person's body. When you're using a vibrator, you're thinking about whoever you want, which can be your partner. If you're using a vibe in the context of partnered sex, you're probably looking at and thinking about your partner. If part of the reason you have sex is to enjoy a sense of intimacy between you and your partner, porn during partnered sex blocks that, while using a vibe during partnered sex does not. So from an emotional perspective as well the vibrator can be used just as a supplement to partnered sex whereas porn restricts the emotional engagement during partnered sex.
Using a vibrator with a partner makes most women want sex with their partner more. Using porn (either with a partner or as an aid to masturbation) on average makes men want sex with their actual partner less.
Many women who have never used a vibrator can't orgasm at all (during partnered sex or masturbation) or have severe difficulty orgasming, but the first time using a vibrator finally allows them reach orgasm when nothing else worked. Telling them that they should not use a vibrator is equivalent to telling them that they should not orgasm. Cutting off porn acess to men who do not have a porn dependency does not prevent them from orgasming.

Overall, a vibrator is a supplement that improves someone's sex life, while porn is a replacement for someone's sex life. Comparing the two is like comparing vitamin supplements to ice cream. It's possible to OD on vitamin supplements in a way that poisons you, but when used normally they just fill in the nutrition gaps you might have in your normal diet, and they don't mess up your appetite. In contrast, eating ice cream makes you less hungry for other food, and if you eat a lot of ice cream you're likely to have more nutritional deficiencies because it's not a very nutritious food in and of itself.

cuddlemechloe · 2021-01-08T21:06:14+00:00

I don't think either are bad in their entirety. Porn can be fine, it can also be overused. Vibrators can also be overused, but it's a little simpler. Overuse of a vibrator is just excessive masturbation. Overuse of porn can mean excessive masturbation or over-mental stimulation to the point where you can't become aroused by anything but niche stuff that 1/1,000,000 women are into. Isn't the latter the main problem discussed with porn addiction? You can't have real sex anymore because average women don't turn you on anymore? It changes your psyche and gives you fetishes that are difficult to fulfill in life?

I might be wrong, but I thought that was the main concern with porn. Masturbation addiction can happen with all genders. But using a vibrator doesn't change your ability to get turned on or have sex with a living person. You're not sexually attracted to the toy, it's just a faster way to get off, because it takes a long time for some women and if you're alone you're just in it for the orgasm, not the sex experience. It's also been studied and confirmed that use does not cause sensitivity loss.

Physiologist21 · 2021-01-08T23:35:47+00:00

I've never looked into this but I imagine having a power tool used on your vagina has some sort of link to not being able to cum during normal sex.

Confirm/deny?

2021-01-09T05:27:11+00:00

Most of those new features are absolutely worthless for women. So many men design sex toys I have no idea how they are getting women to test and say that this is pleasant. I’m assuming they paying sex workers who are trying to be agreeable to get more business? I don’t know but sex toys are not a replacement for the company of men because the penis itself is not what makes women orgasm anyway for the most part.

But I don’t completely disagree with your view because I’ve definitely spend way too much time watching porn and using my vibrator when I should be out being more productive in life in general. So there are certainly some parallels.

justaskinthequestion · 2021-01-09T10:39:49+00:00

Absolutely. I have no idea why it seems somewhat popular to argue that vibrators have no effect. Of course they do. Your brain is learning to experience sexual pleasure in a certain way. That's whatever.

But it's extremely unfair that some women use vibrators all the time and then seem to blame men when sex isn't remotely satisfying.

lionhart280 · 2021-01-10T11:29:42+00:00

Both are unhealthy and rooted in myth.

Porn doesn't desensitize you. Its the other way around. Decensitized individuals will use porn as a treatment

Theres plenty of paper linking addictive behaviors with depression. Depressed people self medicate and self treat with anything that works.

Being depressed increases your risk of getting addicted to anything, including porn.

So then people see "they were acting depressed and got addicted to porn, porn made them depressed!" When its usually the other way around

And as for vibrators.

They can desensitize for a short period of time, but even with repeated use, you will regain sensitivity fairly shortly, usually an hour or two tops.

Men can use vibrators and women can look at porn, for the record. And they definitely do.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-01-08T05:20:10+00:00

Yeah, I agree. All those weird toys and shit will do something to your pussy and make men look uglier. It's good for women that have trouble with O's.

NarniaFox · 2021-01-08T10:06:21+00:00

Porn is bad because it's an industry that either harms its workers to the point they develop/worsen their mental issues, acquire addictions and higher chances to commit suicide or it takes advantage over people who have inclinations towards these things from the beginning. Most likely it's both of these things.

Porn usage in relationships is okay as long as it doesn't affect one's sex life. If a guy can't get hard or have an orgasm without porn or if they prefer porn to their partner who they claim to be attracted to, then that's the problem. Moderation is the key and it seems that men statistically have more problems with it than women do.

GeneralBandicoot2646 · 2021-01-08T13:23:22+00:00

https://forum.nofap.com/index.php?forums/women-in-reboot.22/

women here talking about how excessive masturbation, vibrator use, porn ruined their sex drive

Title	If porn is bad because it desensitizes men, then vibrators are also bad because it desensitizes women
Author	TwoFirmFeet
Upvotes	11
Comments	337
Date	January 8, 2021 4:42 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/ksvb8u/if_porn_is_bad_because_it_desensitizes_men_then/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-porn-is-bad-because-it-desensitizes-men-then.735355 https://theredarchive.com/post/735355